Instant Daddy

by Carol Voss

  “Okay.” Giving Jessie a lopsided grin, he moved closer to her and focused on the camera.

  Jessie smiled, hanging on to the illusion of a real family as if a picture could make it true. She heard the camera click. “Thank you so much.”

  “You’re very welcome.” The smiling woman returned the camera and strolled away.

  “Run.” Jake squirmed to get down.

  “He can’t get hurt running on the soft grass, can he?” Peter asked.

  “Not unless he trips and falls.”

  He raised a dark eyebrow. “Are you kidding?”

  “Mostly. He’s very sure-footed. He’s been running on his toes ever since he took his first steps at nine months.”

  Peter set him down.

  Jake took off, his chubby legs churning across the grass.

  Jessie kept her eye on him. “I used to hold my breath every time he hurled himself across the floor. His legs didn’t always keep up with his body.”

  “I’m sorry I missed that.”

  Her heart clutched. He’d missed so many important things in his son’s life. “I’m sorry, too, Peter.”

  He met her eyes. “I appreciate that.”

  “Every father deserves to see his child’s firsts. I have tons of pictures of him. I’ll show them to you and make copies of whatever you want.”

  “I’d like that very much.” His gaze roamed her face as if he couldn’t quite size her up. “Mind if I use your camera?”

  “Be my guest.” She handed the camera to him, his fingers brushing hers.

  Warmth zinged through her.

  He met her eyes.

  Had he felt it, too? She managed to look away.

  He took a shot of Jake running. When Jake noticed Peter clicking the camera, he headed straight for it.

  “What a little ham.” Laughing, Jessie dropped to her knees to catch him, then swooped him into the air and gave his tummy a buzz.

  Jake giggled out of control.

  She lowered him to nuzzle noses and heard the camera click.

  Jake struggled to break away from her. “Jake run!”

  She set him on the ground and watched him run away.

  Camera hanging around his neck, Peter walked over to her and hung his hands on his narrow hips, his white shirt pulling across his chest. “He’s a great kid.”

  “Yes, he is.” They sounded like any parents talking about their child. Having someone to share Jake’s life with her could be a good thing, couldn’t it? And Peter seemed very different from the anxious man at the lectern yesterday. Or for that matter, the one who’d left the diner in a funk this morning. “I think fatherhood agrees with you.”

  “Yeah? Can you see me with a whole houseful of little Jakes? Maybe a few pretty little girls thrown in for good measure?” He laughed.

  Heart skidding to a standstill, she drew in a deep breath of reality. “You want a family?”

  “In my dreams.” He gave her a self-deprecating little smile. “In the real world, I have yet to figure out how I’m going to fit Jake into my life.”

  She knew all about dreams. But she could daydream they’d make a happy little family till the cows came home, and it wouldn’t change a thing. Any man who loved children would want more than one.

  He’d want a woman who could give them to him. And Jessie couldn’t.

  That evening, Peter followed Jessie and Jake down the narrow hall with more than a little trepidation. Sure, things had gone better than he’d expected this afternoon. And tucking Jake in for the night sounded simple enough, but who knew what pitfalls lay hidden in a small boy’s rituals?

  He didn’t want to do anything that might hinder Jake’s budding trust in him. Especially not when he had to head back to Madison tonight and didn’t know when he’d be able to get away to see the little guy again.

  Jessie bringing her camera to the park had surprised and pleased him. She’d even come out of her shell and appeared to accept him a little. He’d thought about asking her if she’d consider moving Jake to Madison, but the time hadn’t seemed right. He needed to find out before he left, though. It was the only way he’d know how to proceed.

  Walking into the small bedroom, he couldn’t help smiling. Jessie had made sure Jake had everything a little boy could possibly need. A crib, a rocking chair, a book shelf loaded with books, a low train table and two big wooden train cars brimming with toys, undoubtedly Jessie’s dad’s work. A red stripe ran chair-rail height around the room with brightly painted, wood trains hanging on the medium-blue wall above.

  Her silky hair veiling her face, Jessie bent and plucked a book from the shelf. “Peter will read your favorite story.”

  Peter waited, wondering if the boy would object.

  Instead, Jake held out his arms to him.

  Feeling like king of the mountain, Peter picked him up. But the small bruise on the little guy’s forehead did a quick job of dashing his ego. Good thing for him that eighteen-month-olds apparently regained trust more easily than adults did.

  Jessie handed Peter a little book and indicated he should sit in the rocking chair.

  Peter sat down and carefully positioned Jake on his lap.

  “Tomut.” Jake pointed at the little blue engine on the cover.

  “I see. The book is about your engine.”

  “Story.” Jake opened the book, ready to get down to business.

  Needing no further direction, Peter began to read.

  Jake listened with rapt attention, identifying pictures in his own language.

  Smart kid. And Peter could mostly figure out what he was saying by matching his words to pictures in the book.

  “End.” Jake slammed the book shut. “More story.”

  “No,” Jessie said. “Now Peter will rock you and sing a song.”

  A song? Peter shot her a look. “I’m tone deaf.”

  “Jake isn’t fussy.”

  “Easy for you to say.” He frowned at her. “I don’t know any songs.”

  “He loves it when I make one up.”

  She expected Peter to make up a song? She didn’t understand. He wasn’t just marginally musically challenged. He was tone deaf. Melody deaf. Completely unable to make up songs. Period.

  Jake twisted around and held up his arms.

  Peter lifted him against his chest.

  Jake snuggled close and laid his head on Peter’s shoulder. “Pedo sing, ’kay?”

  Peter’s heart contracted. No way could he turn Jake down. He scoured his brain for a song to sing to a little kid. He knew all the words to one. He glanced at Jessie. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Stroking Jake’s back, he decided to go for it. “Happy birthday to you,” he intoned in his rusty monotone.

  Bless him, Jake began to hum along.

  Jessie turned and busied herself arranging the bookshelf but not before Peter saw the grin on her face. At least she had the decency not to laugh out loud.

  His voice was even worse than he remembered. But Jake’s little hum in his ear kept him going to the finish. “Happy birthday, Thomas the Tank Engine, happy birthday to you.”

  Jake’s head popped up from Peter’s shoulder, a megawatt smile on his face. “Tomut?”

  Peter smiled right back.

  “You’re a hit,” Jessie said.

  “You were right. He’s not fussy about his music.”

  A hint of a smile lifted the corners of her mouth. “Time for bed now, Jake.”

  Jake shook his head. “Pedo sing.”

  “I don’t know any more songs,” Peter explained.

  “Sing Tomut.”

  “Time for sleep,” Jessie insisted. “Peter will put you in your bed, right Peter?”

  “Sure will.” Peter stood and set Jake in his crib.

  “Sing, Pedo?” Jake squinted up at him.

  “Sorry, big guy. Time to sleep now.”

  “Give him a hug and this.” Jessie handed Peter a soft, blue blanket.

  Peter followed her coaching.

  Jak
e dropped the blanket in his bed without looking at it.

  Jessie stepped close to the crib and gave Jake a hug. “Good night, sweetie. See you in the morning.”

  Jake reached his arms out to Peter. “Pedo, hole me, ’kay?”

  Peter looked to Jessie.

  She gave her head a little shake. “Tell him good night.”

  “Good night, Jake.”

  “Story, Pedo.”

  Peter would have thought the boy was too young to know about manipulation, let alone how to use it. Effectively, too.

  “Let’s go.” Jessie walked out of the room.

  Peter followed.

  She pulled the door mostly closed. “I leave the door open a crack so I can hear him if he needs me.”

  So parenting really was 24/7. He walked down the hall beside Jessie. Now that Jake was in bed, he needed to concentrate on how to bring up the subject to Jessie of moving to Madison.

  “Pedo,” Jake called from his doorway. “More Tomut.”

  “Uh-oh. Now what?” Peter asked under his breath.

  “Be firm. Put him in his crib, then leave the room.”

  Peter strode back, careful not to meet Jake’s eyes as he picked up the little guy and plunked him in his crib.

  “Pedo,” Jake wailed from his crib.

  Peter hated this. “You have to go to sleep now, Jake.” Steeling himself, he turned and walked out of the room to join Jessie. “I think he’s working up to real tears.”

  Jessie shook her head. “It didn’t take.”

  “Pedo!” Jake yelled gleefully from the doorway.

  “He had me fooled,” Peter admitted. “And he’s fast.”

  “He’s testing to see what you’ll do.”

  “Any suggestions?”

  “Don’t give in no matter what, or there will be problems with bedtime.”

  “Good point.” Peter strode for the doorway, purpose in his step. He swooped Jake up, put him back in bed and walked out of the room. Several seconds later, so did Jake. Peter retraced his footsteps again. And again. And again.

  Jessie just stood in the hall, patiently waiting for Peter to show Jake who was in charge.

  Quite the challenge, but finally, Jake stayed put. The only sound coming from his room was his small voice. “Is he singing?”

  “He sings to his toys.” Jessie began walking down the hall. “He’ll be asleep in no time. Good job of hanging tough.”

  “Thanks.” Hanging tough with Jake was a lot more difficult than he’d imagined, but Jessie seemed to think he’d handled himself pretty well. That had to count for something. Peter ambled behind her into the tidy kitchen. “I’m getting the idea parenting takes lots of perseverance.”

  “Perseverance, consistency, time…”

  “Aw, yes, time. Point taken.” He glanced at the clock hanging above the sink. “Speaking of time, I need to get on the road.” But he still hadn’t asked her about moving Jake to Madison. He sure hoped she’d be more cooperative than Jake had been. “Will you walk me to my car?”

  She shot him a questioning look.

  “I’d like to talk more about Jake.”

  With a nod, she slid open the screen door and stepped onto the patio.

  Peter followed her into the warm night, the frogs’ serenade increasing in volume. He walked beside her toward the driveway, mentally preparing the best way to ask his question.

  “‘Happy Birthday’ was the only song you could think of?” she chided.

  “You can make fun, but you didn’t have a choral teacher tell you not to sing when you were twelve.”

  “Did you?”

  “Oh, yeah. To her credit, she tried to teach me to sing. But finally, she declared me tone deaf and told me to just mouth the words because I confused singers around me.”

  “What an awful thing for her to do.”

  “Actually, I was relieved. I needed the art credit, and singing wouldn’t have helped me get it.” Peter watched several fireflies blinking their way through the dusk.

  “Well, Jake loves music. So tone deaf or not, I’ll teach you some kid songs.”

  Stopping at his car, he caught the fresh, lemon scent of her hair. “Thank you for helping me with him, Jessie.”

  She bit her lip. “Teaching you about Jake is in his best interest, don’t you agree?”

  “Definitely.” Of course, she was teaching him for Jake. But she was putting her own interests aside to do it. A delightful and unexpected surprise. He had the feeling she was full of unexpected surprises. Maybe agreeing to move Jake to Madison would be one of them. “I’ve been doing some thinking about finding time for Jake in my life. I need to know…is there any chance you’d consider moving with him to Madison?”

  “What?” Her eyes drilled into him. “Why would I consider doing that?”

  Seemed obvious to him. “So I can spend time with him and be a real father.”

  She frowned. “After the accident, I moved home to be close to my family. My business, my life is here now. Why would I give all that up to move to a city I don’t know, with people I haven’t met and for a job I don’t have?”

  He didn’t know how to answer that. “It’s pretty obvious I can’t do research in Noah’s Crossing. I can’t leave Scott, either. But you don’t need to give me an answer right now. Will you think about it?”

  “I don’t need to think about it.” She set her chin.

  “I can afford to help you get your own business up and running either in Madison or in a small town nearby if that’s what you want to do.”

  “Peter…in case you haven’t noticed, I depend on my family to help me keep everything running with Jake and my business.”

  “You can hire help in Madison.”

  “Strangers?” She gave him a dismissive look. “Besides, what makes you think I’d accept financial help from you?”

  Rubbing the back of his neck, Peter tried to wrap his mind around Jessie’s unwillingness to compromise. “We both want what’s best for Jake, right?”

  “Of course I want what’s best for Jake. But moving him away from everything and everybody he knows and loves is not it.”

  “He’s eighteen months old. I’m sure he’ll adapt.”

  “Why can’t you drive up on weekends to see him?”

  Peter pinched the bridge of his nose in an attempt to think clearly. “How can I be the father he needs if I’m with him only a few hours on weekends?”

  “I don’t know, Peter. But moving to Madison is impossible.” She shook her head. “Out of the question.” Turning on her heel, she strode across the yard to the house.

  He watched her until she closed the door behind her. And for the life of him, he couldn’t explain the hollow feeling in his chest.

  Chapter Seven

  “Two scoops of strawberry with chocolate sprinkles on top coming right up, Matthew.” Heart heavy, Jessie concentrated on scooping ice cream into a cone for the earnest twelve-year-old. She’d set up shop on a picnic table in the church yard. Treating volunteers to ice cream was her contribution to the late-afternoon project to spruce up the church grounds since she couldn’t physically handle the heavy work.

  She stifled a yawn. She’d had very little sleep since Peter asked her Sunday night to move to Madison. She’d had no idea he was thinking about taking such an active role in Jake’s life. And the sheer audacity of the man unnerved her. Had he really expected her to completely change her life to accommodate him? How could he think she’d just pull up stakes and move away from everybody and everything that kept her life on track? But she also felt a measure of relief that he wasn’t trying to take Jake totally away from her.

  Unfortunately, she could have been a little more diplomatic. What had she been thinking to chop off communication between them just before he left? She hadn’t heard a word in four days, and the fact that she had no idea what he was planning to do about Jake worried her. She handed the double-decker cone across the table. “Here you go.”

  “Thank you.” Matthe
w scooched up his glasses on his nose and carefully took the cone from her. “We’re all done helping Pastor Nick spread mulch.”

  Jessie attempted a smile. “The church will look beautiful all summer.”

  He nodded, his gaze riveted on his ice cream.

  “Please remind the other workers to come and get ice-cream cones when they finish their jobs.”

  He grinned. “I won’t have to remind them when they see mine.”

  “Good point.”

  “That’s one impressive ice cream cone, Matthew.” Peeling off leather work gloves, Will strode to the table. “You better get busy eating before it melts.”

  “Yeah. See ya.” Matthew hurried away.

  Will smiled. “Digging up those flower beds seems to have given me a powerful taste for chocolate almonds, Jess.”

  “Three scoops? Chocolate waffle cone?”

  “Sounds decadent enough.”

  Jessie grasped a cone and stacked scoops of ice cream.

  Will glanced around as if to make sure they were alone. “The prodigal father returning this weekend?”

  Jessie frowned. “I haven’t heard a word.”

  “What’s he planning to do?”

  “I don’t know.” She handed Will the ice cream. “He asked me and Jake to move to Madison.”

  “Sounds like he’s serious about being a dad. What did you say?”

  She gave him a narrow look. “What do you think I said?”

  “So what now?”

  “That’s what worries me.” She looked up as Maggie approached the table with her volunteer landscape crew in tow.

  “Anything new?” Maggie asked.

  Jessie shook her head.

  “Hi, Jess.” Mitch Miller strode to the table. “Matthew told us to get ice cream before we leave.”

  “Get in line, Mitch,” somebody in the back of the line said.

  Everybody laughed.

  “Oops.” Mitch rolled his eyes and moved to the end of the line.

  Jessie concentrated on special requests and scooping ice cream until the line dwindled and the volunteers drifted toward their cars. Maggie, Will and Pastor Nick stayed behind to help Jessie clean up. When everything was packed in coolers and boxes, they all carried them toward the parking lot.

  Lugging a cooler, Pastor Nick fell in beside Jessie. “Your treat was a big hit. Thank you.”