by Carol Voss
“My pleasure. The church grounds look great.”
“Yes, they do. Jessie, your dad is concerned about you. He told me about the situation with Jake’s father. If you ever need to talk, you know my door is open.”
“Thank you.” She wished her dad hadn’t shared her situation with Pastor Nick. She hated being the person everybody worried about. At least the pastor didn’t feel compelled to pry. What good would talking about the situation do, anyway? The last thing she needed was to cry in front of anybody but God. She opened the van’s back door and stepped aside for Pastor Nick and Will to place the coolers inside.
Jessie slammed the door. “Thanks everybody.”
“No problem.” Pastor Nick slapped Will on the shoulder. “I need to talk to you about church camp.”
“All right.” Will walked back to the church with the pastor.
“Still no news from Madison?” Maggie asked.
Jessie squinted, struggling to keep her emotions in check. Crying on Maggie’s shoulder wouldn’t help any more than talking to Pastor Nick.
“Maybe the less you hear from him, the better,” Maggie said.
“I don’t know.” Jessie frowned. “If I don’t know what he’s planning, I can’t influence his decisions.”
“I see what you mean.”
“I don’t know why he hasn’t called to find out how Jake is doing.”
“It’s only been a few days. Besides, he knows Jake’s fine, Jess. If he wasn’t, you’d let him know.” Maggie brightened. “Why don’t you give him a call?”
Shaking his head, Peter snapped his cell phone shut and laid it beside his laptop, which was perched on the minuscule desk in his dingy living room. Although he’d liked hearing Jessie’s voice, her call had started out vague and gone nowhere fast. He’d told her the DNA test confirmed he was Jake’s father, the result they’d both expected. It couldn’t be clearer that neither of them had a satisfactory solution to their situation with Jake.
He focused on one of the pictures he’d downloaded from Jessie’s camera Sunday. Poised to go down the slide with Jake, Peter looked like a giant next to the little guy. Good thing Jessie had reined him in on the underducks.
He thought about her stalking off last Sunday night after she’d refused to even think about moving to Madison with Jake. Had she called to bridge the gulf her hasty exit had left between them? It wouldn’t surprise him. She was an amazing woman in spite of her stubborn streak.
He smiled at the picture he’d taken of her and Jake nuzzling noses. Too bad he couldn’t bottle all that love they exuded and bring it home with him. He’d had a lot of fun with her and Jake at the park and, afterward, when they’d gone for ice cream. Simple pleasures he’d never had time for.
He scrolled to the next photo, the one of the three of them that the woman in the park had taken. He gazed into Jessie’s crystal-blue eyes, her smile not quite masking the sadness lurking behind it. She’d opened up a little that afternoon, then dropped a curtain between them and hid from him again.
What had pulled her away? He didn’t know much about women, but somehow, he’d bet there was more to her sadness than her injuries…or even her sister’s death.
He liked her. Probably a good thing considering she’d be in his life for a long time because of Jake. Actually, it was more than simple like. The more he got to know her, the more fascinating he found her. She was soft and feminine and nurturing. And that vulnerable thing she had going touched him deeply. He loved her easy way with people, too, but he had the feeling she didn’t open up to many.
Looking into Jake’s brown eyes, he reached to touch the boy’s animated face, momentarily surprised by the cold, unyielding surface of the screen. Not at all the feel of Jake’s little face under his touch.
Remembering the weight of his son in his arms, he ached to hold him again. To hear his squeals of laughter. To smell his salty-sweet scent. He’d never known what real loneliness was before knowing Jake.
And he didn’t like it one bit.
Sure, he’d known his personal life was empty. But he’d found purpose and enough satisfaction in his work to fortify him. Now, that didn’t seem enough. He could see how empty he’d been inside. And he was making some changes.
He’d delegated parts of his workload to colleagues and gotten the process rolling to hire an assistant to pick up the overtime hours he’d been donating nights and weekends. He’d applied for grants to cover some of the additional expenses, and he’d take a pay cut if need be.
As for Jake…after talking to Jessie, it looked as if Peter needed to figure out a solution that would work for all of them.
Late Friday morning, Peter picked up the phone on his desk after ending his interview with the final babysitter candidate. The first four had fallen short, but Kelly Templeton met every criteria he could hope for. Well, she wasn’t Jessie, of course. But she’d be perfect for the days he’d have to go into the lab when Jake stayed with him. Of course, he’d need to transition him gradually. And he’d need Jessie’s help with that. But she’d surely see that Jake staying with him a week or two every month would be a good compromise that would work for all of them. Wouldn’t she?
And Kelly Templeton seemed to fit the bill perfectly for a part-time babysitter. She said she loved kids, was young and energetic enough to keep up with an active toddler, knew CPR and was taking child development courses at the technical college.
A few calls to references she’d listed on her application confirmed his opinion. With every glowing report, he listened for a giveaway hesitation or negative tone that would indicate a reservation about her, but he heard enthusiasm in every voice. Several people even offered anecdotes to prove Ms. Templeton went well beyond her duty.
Still, an uneasy feeling tempered his excitement. Even if she would be part-time, hiring the right babysitter was a huge decision. Crucial to Jake’s well-being. Given his inexperience with little kids, he needed Jessie’s input. Maybe she’d spot something he’d missed.
He left his office to keep an appointment with a Realtor to look at condos closer to the lab. He didn’t want to end up stuck in traffic on evenings when he could be playing with his son.
Anyway, his dingy, one-bedroom, furnished apartment had been a temporary address when he’d rented it—nine years ago. He needed a larger place with bedrooms for himself, his son and for Jessie or her parents to stay with Jake as often as they liked when Jake was here.
By two o’clock, he’d signed on the dotted line for a great condo, picked up the new Chrysler SUV he’d traded for his MG earlier in the week and was on the highway headed for Noah’s Crossing.
After enjoying his MG’s ability to turn on a dime, the Chrysler felt like he was steering a bus. But it had enough room to transport whatever Jake might need, and it was a nice safe vehicle, complete with a backseat for Jake’s car seat. Plus it had a screen that popped down for Jake to watch the DVDs Peter had picked out at the mega toy store where he’d bought the car seat. He figured the DVD player was just the thing for trips to Noah’s Crossing when he drove Jake back and forth to Jessie’s.
There was still the babysitter question to settle, of course. He was anxious to bring Jessie and Jake to Madison to see if the babysitter measured up to Jessie’s standards.
The drive seemed to take forever. He couldn’t wait to see Jake. And he couldn’t deny he was a little anxious about working out an arrangement with Jessie, but of course, she knew as well as he did one had to be worked out between them. As for her coming to Madison to meet Kelly Templeton, he was sure Jessie would be concerned about who would care for Jake when Peter had to be at the lab.
Finally, he arrived at the Chandlers, only to have Jessie’s dad inform him Jessie had taken Jake to the lake to cool off after supper. So Peter followed her dad’s directions to Rainbow Lake a couple miles east of town.
After parking the SUV, he dodged towels and families on the beach, the smell of lake heavy in the humid air. The carefree shouts of childre
n rang in his ears as he looked for Jessie and his son. Scanning the water, he spotted them a few yards out.
Jessie lifted Jake in the air, then scooped him into the water to the boy’s shrieks of delight. Her joyful laughter rode the slight breeze along with the flying water.
Anxiety drained away and energy poured through Peter’s body. Feeling as if he’d come home after a lifetime of absence, he sank to the sand and watched them, unable and unwilling to do anything else.
Jessie handed Jake to the petite redhead beside her, then immersed herself in the lake. When she bounced back up in a spray of water, the little guy squealed with laughter.
Peter laughed, too, in spite of the lump in his throat. His son and his mother…he could watch them all day.
After swimming a couple laps, Jessie waded to shallow water with her friend, who set Jake on his feet.
Jake plopped down and began splashing like he did in the bathtub.
Laughing, Jessie backed away from the splashes, her deep-blue bathing suit clinging to her womanly curves like a second skin.
She was…amazing.
Peter glanced around. Probably most of the men on the beach were watching her—a thought that gave him a fiercely protective shot of adrenaline. He climbed to his feet and strode to the water’s edge. “Jessie.”
She looked up. “Peter?” Obviously, she hadn’t expected to see him.
The boy peered in Peter’s direction. “Pedo!” Jake tried to scramble to his feet. With Jessie’s help, he made it up and ran full-tilt for the shore.
Laughing, Peter swooped him in the air, life jacket and all. Water flew everywhere. Hugging the dripping boy, he drew in the smell of him. “I’ve missed you so much.”
Jake laughed.
“Did you miss me, Jake?” Why he asked, he didn’t know. Nobody had ever told him they’d missed him. Or if they had, it had never been this important to him. He held his son at arm’s length and gave him a once-over. “I swear you’ve grown since I saw you.”
He looked at Jessie. He could feel the coolness of her from the lake water. Water from her hair ran in rivulets over her silky shoulders and chest. Light seemed to sparkle in her eyes. She was so lovely, he had trouble breathing.
“Off.” Jake tugged at his red life vest.
Peter set him down.
Jessie bent over the boy, whipped off the vest and straightened. She turned to a woman beside her. “Maggie, this is Peter Sheridan. Peter, Maggie Maguire.”
He smiled. “Nice to meet you, Maggie.”
The attractive redhead with snapping brown eyes gave him a less than friendly nod, then looked to Jessie. “I’m heading home, Jess. Unless you want me to stay.” She threw a wary look Peter’s way.
What was that about?
“I’ll call you later,” Jessie said, her eyes on Peter.
“Nice meeting you,” Peter offered politely.
Maggie lifted an eyebrow, turned and walked away.
Downright chilly. Apparently, Jessie hadn’t sung his praises to her friend. Under the circumstances, he shouldn’t be surprised. Or disappointed. But somehow, he was.
“I didn’t know you were coming this weekend,” Jessie said.
“I hope that’s not a problem.”
“I’d appreciate it if you’d let me know in advance when you plan to stop by.”
“Duly noted.” Not the best start. But he couldn’t let it discourage him. “Can we walk somewhere quieter so we can talk?”
She gave him a small frown. “There’s the bike path. But Jake and I need to get some shoes first.” She led the way to her beach bag and handed Peter a pair of tiny sandals.
He wanted to grasp her hand but thought better of the idea. While he struggled to fit the sandals on his son’s small, wet, sandy, wiggly feet, Jessie tied a white towel around her waist and slipped into her own sandals. Then she guided the way to a wooded bike path. They strolled away from the beach, Jake stopping to pick up stones and twigs along the way.
Peter tamped down his nervousness. “I missed Jake like crazy.”
Jessie gave him a pinched look.
He wished he knew what she was thinking. Or maybe it was better that he didn’t. “Scott used to tell me to get a life. He said research alone didn’t cut it. But I never understood what he meant before I met Jake. The little guy has a way of putting things in perspective.”
“Yes.”
Peter blew out a breath. At least she’d agreed with him. Maybe telling her all he’d accomplished would be the best way to ease into his reasons for being here. “I’ve made some changes in my life in the past week. I bought a great condo close to the lab with lots of windows and natural light. Very unlike the dingy little furnished place I live in now.”
“Really.” She kept her eyes on Jake.
“The condo doesn’t come with furniture though, so I have lots of shopping to do.”
“Sounds exciting.”
Unfortunately, she didn’t sound or look excited—or even interested, for that matter. He needed to get to the point. “I’d like the place to be warm and comfortable—a real home. I could use your help with that. Especially with Jake’s room.”
Stopping dead, she whirled on him. “Jake’s room?”
He sure had her attention now but not in a good way. “For when he stays with me.”
“When he stays with you.” She narrowed her eyes. “When he gets older?”
“As soon as I can pull everything together, I’d like to begin transitioning him.”
“Transitioning him?” Propping her hands on her hips, she glowered at him as if she couldn’t stomach what she saw.
He’d known it wouldn’t be easy, hadn’t he? He drew himself to his full height. “I want to get him used to living with me a week or two at a time. Of course, we need to work out an arrangement that works for both of us.”
Taking a step closer, she jabbed her finger into his chest. “You promised you’d put Jake’s needs first.”
He stood his ground. “That’s what I’m doing. I’m reorganizing my life to include him.”
“But he has a family. I’m his mother.”
“I know that.” She was so focused on her anger, she didn’t seem to get that he wasn’t threatening her relationship with Jake. He needed to reassure her. “I’ll never come between you and Jake, Jessie. The condo has plenty of room, even an extra bedroom for you or your parents to stay as much as you like when he’s with me.”
She shut her eyes. “My parents and I can visit him?” she whispered.
He tried to ignore the accusation in her tone. He needed to make her see the entire picture. “You can stay with him anytime he’s with me. Anytime you want. For as long as you want.”
She pressed her hand to her forehead. “What do you think you’re doing?”
He swallowed. “I’m doing my best to figure out a way to be Jake’s father. And I think I’ve found a well-qualified caretaker for when I have to work. I think you’ll like her.”
She stiffened. “A nanny? You hired a nanny?”
“No.” His gut twisted. This was going from bad to worse, and he didn’t know how to stop it. “She’s a babysitter. And I want your input before I hire her. I’d like to drive you and Jake down to meet her as soon as possible.”
She took a step back. “You were scheming to separate us all along?”
“What? No. I was never scheming.” Struggling to get a foothold in the quicksand he’d managed to stumble into, he reached out to touch her arm.
She jerked away.
He dropped his hand to his side. “I’m trying to work out a compromise. I told you I don’t want my son growing up without his father like I did. I think the best way to do that is to have him live with me part of the time, don’t you?”
“No. He’s too young to be shifted back and forth between us. If you cared about him, you’d see that.” Her words were clipped, her tone seething.
“Jessie—”
“Don’t ‘Jessie’ me. Nothing y
ou have to say interests me now that I know how underhanded you really are.”
Flinching, he raised his hand in front of him to try to calm her down.
“How could I have been so wrong about you? How could I have ever believed Jake was lucky to have you for a daddy?”
She’d believed that?
“Mama mad?” Jake peered up at her, eyes wide.
“Yes, Mama’s mad, sweetie.”
The little guy scowled up at Peter. “Bad Pedo.”
Pain stabbed his chest. He dragged in a breath and tried to figure out where things had gone so wrong and what to do about it.
Jessie scooped Jake up and took a step closer to Peter, her eyes dark with anger. “Your nanny can rot for all I care. And so can your condo. If you think I’ll ever hand him over to you, you don’t know me at all.” Turning, she strode away without a backward glance.
Peter stood rooted to the spot, his heart thudding so hard against his ribs, its pounding muffled everything else. The anxiety he’d been fighting crashed over him in waves. He felt as if he were drowning in them.
Chapter Eight
Still in her swimsuit, Jessie strode up the driveway, hugging Jake to her for all she was worth. She never wanted to see Peter Sheridan again as long as she lived.
Jake patted her face assuringly.
She kissed his forehead. She hated upsetting Jake. She’d done her best to calm down ever since she’d left Peter at the lake, but she just couldn’t get past how completely he’d fooled her.
Why did you bring Peter into our lives, God? she asked angrily. I even began to trust him.
Look where that had gotten her. She’d taught Jake to trust him, too. Stupid. No wonder she hadn’t heard from Peter. He’d been plotting to take Jake away all along. And she’d played right into his hands.
“See Papa?”
“Yes, honey. Papa will make Mama feel better.” Too bad her problems had been too big for a very long time for her dad to chase them away with a pat on the head or a kiss on the cheek.
Spotting him on the patio working, tears she’d been too angry to let fall spilled over and ran down her face. She swiped at them. Jake didn’t need to see her cry on top of everything else. She needed to bathe him and get him into bed before she let herself fall apart.