Fourth Debt

by Pepper Winters

  I’m not alone…

  My heart swelled as lost hope unfurled.

  The people I lived with might not care about me…but others did. I couldn’t stop fighting because I was loved. Out there, somewhere, I was loved by people who mattered.

  My heart twisted as I bent closer to inspect.

  The bird of prey rapped its beak on the window, hopping on the sill outside. Its beady black eyes tore through me, as if in one glance it knew what I’d dealt with and how close I was to the end.

  You understand me, little bird. Are you my saviour?

  Backing away from the window, I balled my hands.

  You don’t need a saviour…if you only believed in yourself again...

  So what, your hair is gone? So what, your brother is gone? So what, Jethro is gone?

  You’re not gone.

  So fight!

  The bird charged the pane, rapping its beak with fury.

  I froze.

  Winter ice had chased away autumn far too fast. The spidery lace of frost decorated corners of the glass. The radiating cold cut through my cotton nightgown like knives.

  Poor thing.

  I hated to think of the poor creature in the cold. No animal should be without shelter.

  I moved forward and opened the wrought iron catch. Cracking the window open, the bird immediately hopped inside.

  No fear. No hesitation.

  Where the hell had this bird come from?

  I froze as the raptor spread its wings, ran across the interior window, and hopped onto my hand.

  “Ah!” I snatched my hand back. Its talons were sharp and its beak deadly. I’d had enough pain at the hands of human hawks to let a feathered one hurt me, too.

  The bird puffed out its chest. Its beak glinted wickedly while it cocked its head and stared at me with intelligent eyes.

  It saw right through me.

  It saw how broken I was. How tired. How desolate.

  It made me drown in guilt for being so feeble.

  Unwanted tears crept into my eyes.

  “I don’t have anything for you. I doubt cereal will impress a carnivore like you.”

  The bird chirped.

  The noise whipped through the room, sending my eyes darting to the door. I didn’t want to give any reason for Daniel to visit me. He’d done enough. He’d done too much.

  Backing away, I shooed it. “Go on…get out of here.”

  Instead of flying away, it hopped closer, once again targeting my hand.

  “No, wait—”

  It didn’t listen. With a single flap, it hopped off the sill and landed on the back of my knuckles. Its wings soared open for balance, its talons digging into my flesh for purchase.

  My bicep clenched beneath its weight and I steeled myself against its uninvited presence. Its scaly legs shuffled, doing its best to remain in one place. Taking pity on it, I curled my fingers, creating a rudimentary perch. It chirped, wrapping its sharp talons around my skin. Its weight was surprisingly heavy, its plumage dense with feathers of coppers and brass. “Hi.”

  It tilted its head sideways, chirping again.

  A draft whistled through the gap in the open window. I moved to close it, but the bird nipped at my knuckle.

  “Ouch.” I went to shake him off, but my eyes fell on its leg.

  The hawk or kestrel flapped its wings, dispelling a rogue feather to flutter to the carpet. It somehow knew I’d seen its message.

  My heart stopped beating as I looked through the window, squinting into the darkness. Who’d sent it? Were they still out there?

  No shadows moved outside; no hint of midnight visitors.

  “Who sent you?” I murmured as I glanced at the white parchment wrapped around its leg. Reaching for the red bow, I tugged it loose.

  The bird screeched, bouncing up and down with impatience. Its sudden agitation forced me to yank harder. The roll of paper fell away, dropping to the sill.

  With the heavy bird on one hand, I did my best to unroll the scroll and read.

  However, the raptor didn’t wait. It had done its duty—it had delivered its message. Without a backward glance, it soared off my hand and slipped like a winged demon through the window crack and into the sky. Instantly, the camouflage of its feathers vanished against twinkling stars.

  My heart steadily increased its tempo; my breathing turned erratic. Pinching the note, I smoothed it out until the finest, tantalizing, most miraculous sentence I’d ever seen imprinted on my brain.

  Come to the stables.

  My knees wobbled.

  My heart grew wings.

  Jethro.

  He’s here.

  He’s come back for me.

  I am not forgotten.

  MY LIFE WASN’T mine anymore.

  It was hers.

  Hers.

  Hers.

  I’d told her that, but I didn’t think she believed me. But now I was back. I was alive and ready and motherfucking angry. She was mine to protect and adore, and up till now, I’d failed her.

  I should never have brought her here. I should’ve had a fucking backbone and ended this when Cut killed Emma. I should’ve found help for my condition the night I hurt Jasmine. I should’ve ended their evil the day my mother couldn’t cope.

  So much history, so many lessons and decisions. At the time, I’d played the game—I’d waited and learned and prayed.

  But I’d been stupid to think there was any other conclusion.

  It’d taken Nila to slap me awake, electrocute my heart with her courage, and show me that I was a good person inside. That the thoughts I suffered—of torture and ruin—weren’t mine. That the horrors I’d committed in the name of family values didn’t make me the monster I’d been groomed to be.

  I’m my own person.

  And it was time to show Nila just what a transformation I’d undergone.

  The moment she appeared on the ridge, I struggled to breathe.

  Nila…

  The moonlight cast her in silver as she padded down the small hill, her white legs flashing beneath the white hem of her nightgown. A long black coat swamped her body, while a hood covered her head, fluttering around her face. She didn’t run. She glided over the frost-glittering grass.

  I wanted her to soar to me. To fly.

  But something was wrong. She moved too slowly. Like a woman who’d lost her fire.

  My heart shattered as she slowly closed the distance. She looked magical and mystical and far too precious to tame.

  But I had tamed her. And she’d tamed me.

  Come faster, Nila.

  Hurry.

  My hands curled as she didn’t increase her pace. I stayed where I was, lurking in shadows, waiting.

  My body vibrated, wanting so fucking much to charge toward her. To tackle her on the soft grass and kiss her senseless beneath the stars. I couldn’t stand another second without her in my arms.

  I took a step onto the cobblestone courtyard.

  Don’t.

  Common-sense forced me back into the shade. I couldn’t leave the safety of the stables—couldn’t risk anyone seeing me from the Hall.

  Wait.

  Every second was fucking torture.

  She moved as straight and true as the kestrel I’d sent her.

  Kes.

  His name and memory was a stain upon my joy.

  My brother had to survive because he deserved to see the new future. He and Jasmine were owed a happier life than the one we’d been dealt.

  I wanted them by my side when I introduced Nila to Hawksridge and showed her that this place had not been kind to her, but once it was mine, it would be our private haven.

  Come. Faster. Run.

  My heart thundered with erratic syncopation.

  Nila skidded down the small incline, the flash of glittery ballet flats catching moonshine.

  Every step brought her closer. I sighed heavily. The throb from my rib faded; the twinge from my newly removed stitches disappeared. For the firs
t time since waking up in the hospital, I felt truly healed. My body had mended, but without her, my soul would’ve been torn forever.

  Trading grass for cobblestones, Nila’s shoes slapped quietly, closing the distance between us. Her breathing wheezed—as if she’d been sick but healing—and her hood hid her stunning long hair.

  My skin sparked as she sprinted around the mounting block and sailed through the double doors of the stables.

  Finally.

  I grabbed her.

  She screamed as my arms snaked around her, trapping her vibrating form, saying hello with echoing heartbeats. Spinning her in my hold, I planted both hands on her hips and walked her backward to the wall.

  I never stopped moving.

  Pushing, shoving, coming fucking apart at having her in my arms.

  Her eyes met mine. Her fright disappeared, consuming me under an avalanche of love. “Oh, my God...it’s true…you’re here.”

  I smiled, opening myself completely. I fed off her happiness, loving how deeply she cared for me. I couldn’t stand it. I didn’t deserve such unconditional acceptance. But something shadowed her. She felt…different…quieter. She didn’t have her usual spark or vibrant will.

  My soul growled at the thought of her fading from me.

  I’d bring her back.

  I will.

  Her back hit the brick wall, my hands soared from her hips to her cheeks, and nothing else fucking mattered. “Christ, I’ve missed you.” Ducking my head, I captured her mouth in a brutal kiss.

  Live for me. Breathe for me. Come back to life for me.

  My lips bruised with how hard I kissed her. I hadn’t meant to be so rough, but Nila exploded. The passion and ferocity missing inside her suddenly detonated into being.

  I groaned as her hands disappeared into my hair, grabbing fistfuls, yanking me closer. She melted and fought; her tongue shooting into my mouth.

  She whimpered as my kiss turned violent, driven by the need to affirm that this was real. That she was truly in my arms and still fighting, still surviving.

  Our heads tilted, changing the kiss’s direction. Her fingers tugged harder on my hair. I kissed her deeper.

  “You’re here.” I poured words with kisses, not knowing if I spoke or yelled it from my soul. “Fuck…you’re truly here.”

  Her tongue swirled with mine, her chest pressing hard as she sucked in rapid breaths. My side ached but nothing would stop me from kissing her until we passed out from pleasure.

  She’d returned to me, but she was still quiet inside, still hesitant and unsure.

  “I’m here.” She kissed faster. “You’re alive.” Her fingers dug firmer. “God, Jethro…you’re okay.” Her voice broke, and the world ceased to exist.

  It was just taste and love and heat.

  The dam of her emotions drowned me, and I cried out as she reincarnated in my arms. Fuck, I’d missed her. Fuck, I’d worried about her.

  But she was alive.

  She was still mine.

  Her hands swept up my back, touching fiercely. She winced as I sucked in a breath when she skated over my healing rib.

  She gasped. “I’m sorr—”

  I yanked her head back with a fistful of her hood, forcing her to look at me. Her lips were swollen, glistening in the darkness. “You can’t break me, Nila.”

  I kissed her again, unable to stand the overwhelming emotion in her eyes. She opened for me, welcoming me to take whatever I wanted. Within seconds, I was drunk. Entirely intoxicated on her taste—all my forward thinking, my plans to put into action—they could all wait.

  Because this goddess couldn’t.

  I couldn’t.

  I couldn’t get enough of her. I would never get enough of her.

  We stumbled sideways, my mind awash with need, my body and hands completely uncontrolled. My shoulder slammed into a stall as Nila lost her balance, falling against me. I spun her around, pressing her against the new obstruction, kissing her harder.

  She moaned and we staggered again, clashing and fighting but always kissing.

  Never stopping.

  “I can’t believe you’re alive.” Her hands tangled deeper in my hair, keeping my face locked with hers. “Every night I prayed you weren’t gone.”

  I ducked to capture her throat, kissing my way along her jawline, glowering at the glittering diamonds lacing her neck.

  No matter what happened and the freedom we earned, Nila would forever wear that collar. I hated it, but I would prefer to see her wear it every day for the next eighty years, than see it sitting back on its pedestal in the vault just waiting for its next victim.

  I bit her neck, sucking her taste, inhaling every part of her.

  I wanted those images out of my head. Forever.

  She groaned as I captured her breast, squeezing the unrestrained flesh through her nightgown.

  “Jethro—”

  My cock fucking pounded with desire, my heart permanently located in the rock-hard flesh. I had to be inside her. Only then would this insane need to devour her cease.

  Not yet.

  Things had to be discussed.

  It took all my strength, but I pushed away, dragging a hand over my face.

  Nila stayed locked against the stall, her chest rising and falling; her coat opened, showing nipples pinched with lust. The damn hood kept me from seeing any further than her mouth and eyes.

  Her gaze met mine in the gloom, tears sparkling on her eyelashes. “Why—why did you stop?”

  I couldn’t tear my gaze away from her lips. So plump and red and wet.

  I’d done that. I’d practically eaten her alive.

  The urge to do it again drove me fucking insane.

  “We have to talk.” My voice was hay and dust, cracked and dry.

  “Oh.” She looked down, her fingers pulling at her coat. The damn hood kept her face in shadow. She hurt as much as I did. Hurt with passion. Lacerated by lust.

  Shit.

  I squeezed my eyes, cutting off my vision but feeding more perception to my other senses. My skin begged to connect with hers. My heart growled to thump against hers. And my cock fucking punished me for not being inside her.

  “Fuck it.”

  I gave in.

  Falling on her again, she gasped as I shoved her hard against the stall.

  “Fuck talking.” I kissed her lips, her chin, her cheeks. “I need you, Nila. I need every inch of you.”

  “Take me.” She cried out as my hand gathered her gown, bunching it over her hip. “Please—please don’t stop.”

  “I’ve never wanted someone as much as I want you,” I groaned as she opened her legs. “Never loved anyone as much as I love you.”

  She gasped as I grabbed the back of her knee, hooking it over my hip. Something ripped—her hem or coat—I didn’t care. Her heel dug into my arse as she ground against my cock.

  I shuddered. My hand slapped against the stall to prevent my body from crushing her.

  “Don’t stop.” Wrapping her arms around my neck, she dragged me back to her.

  My side twinged and my forehead pricked with pain, but I didn’t care. My cock ruled me now and it wanted to be inside her that fucking instant.

  Fumbling with one hand, I wrenched aside my belt and jerked down my jeans and boxer-briefs. The clothing had come courtesy of Flaw, along with a lift back to Hawksridge, sworn silence, and a note to deliver to Jasmine.

  My cock leapt from my trousers, rippling with need and sticky with pre-cum. Fisting the base, I rocked against her, desperately trying to find her entrance.

  Her fingers clawed my shoulders, tugging me closer but holding me away at the same time. “Wait—wait—”

  “I can’t wait.”

  “But you were shot…you probably shouldn’t—” Her hands dropped, stroking my naked hips, digging her nails into my flesh. “Are you okay to do this?”

  I kissed her again. “I’m going to show you how okay I am by making love to you.” I thrust against her.


  She shook her head. “Wait!” Her attention shot to my torso, seeking wounds. I had no intention of taking my t-shirt off and showing her the bandage hiding the stitched area or mentioning my broken rib.

  Didn’t she get it? None of that fucking mattered as she was the best painkiller around.

  I’d never felt so good having her in my arms, trumping death, defeating the impossible.

  “You argue with me again, and I’ll make you come apart over and over until you believe me.”

  “But—”

  “Stop it.” Pressing a finger over her lips, I silenced her. “Quiet.” The tip of my cock found her tight heat. “If you stop me from taking you, I’ll die. I’ll literally have a heart attack.”

  Her head fell backward as I teased, hovering so close but not taking her. Pushing up the tiniest bit, we trembled with pleasure. My head bowed, pressing against the stall behind her as I did my best to stay in control. My thighs bunched as every instinct bellowed to drive inside her. “I need you so much I can scarcely breathe.”

  Her emotions ran crazy, battering me from all directions.

  Lust.

  Fear.

  Questions.

  Love.

  “Quit thinking so hard; you’re distracting me.” Looking into her eyes, I traced her cheek, soothing her rioting thoughts. “All I want to feel from you, Nila, is desire. All the other stuff…we can talk about it later.” I kissed her softly. “Now, be quiet, stop thinking, and let me fuck you.”

  She shivered and obeyed.

  Her emotions switched to one thought: wanting me to take her.

  It would be my pleasure to comply.

  Bending my legs, I drove upward.

  Her back arched as I slid inside her liquid heat. Higher and higher, stretching her.

  “God, Jethro—yes!”

  I gathered her close, holding her tightly as I climbed deeper. Only once she fully encased me did I thrust.

  Our lips glued together, and we rode each other.

  It wasn’t rhythmic or sensual.

  It was purely animalistic and primal.

  “I won’t last—I can’t last.”

  “I don’t care.” Her pussy tightened as I drove faster. “Just prove to me you’re alive.”

  “That I can do.”

  It didn’t take long.

  My body had no endurance and time spent apart meant everything about Nila bewitched me into exploding far too fast.