218 First Hugs

by E. L. Todd

  He moved his hips and slid inside me, pushing through my tight opening and sliding down my even tighter channel. His cock made a home there, knowing every single inch like the back of his hand. He pressed his forehead to mine and released a satisfied moan when he was fully buried inside me.

  It felt incredible. “Ace…”

  He released his grip on my hair so I could move my face toward his. “This pussy is mine now.”

  He hadn’t asked a question, but I felt obligated to agree with him. “Yes…”

  He thrust inside me, moving slowly like he had the rest of time to make love to me. “And you’re mine.”

  “Yes…all yours.”

  * * *

  He sat across from me at the table in just his sexy boxers. Bare-chested and barefoot, he was like having a sexy caveman in the house. His skin was tanned, and his chest was free of hair. Only a slim happy trail existed between his hips.

  He ate the dinner I’d brought over in silence, his eyes always on me and never on his food. We’d made love on the couch three times before we finally broke apart. Now that a table was between us, we were separated, but the way he maintained eye contact with me made me feel like I was sitting right in his lap.

  I wondered if he was like this with the others, with Lady, this intense and profound. I could feel him in a room without even looking at him. Evan and I had a strong relationship, but it wasn’t quite like this.

  He drank his water, watching me as his masculine throat shifted to take down the liquid. When he finished, he licked his lips then set the glass on the table. “You want to talk about it?”

  I’d told Bree exactly how I felt about my conversation with Evan, but I’d never mentioned it to Ace. Seemed like something he wouldn’t want to listen to. “We don’t have to. I’m sure you never want me to say his name in front of you.”

  “You picked me over him,” he said. “The man you were married to. I’m not the least bit threatened by him. I’m not insecure. I’m not jealous.” He stabbed a piece of broccoli with his fork and placed it in his mouth. “And we’re friends, Amelia. We talk about things—all things.”

  I wasn’t sure if I would be so understanding if he wanted to talk about Lady. I was jealous anytime I saw him with another woman—even if they were just friends.

  “I know Evan is going to be around a lot, and he and I will have to learn to get along. I don’t want him to feel like he can’t see his kids because of me. I don’t want him to think I’m trying to replace him. The girls need him.”

  If all men were like Ace, the world would be a better place. “Thanks for being so easygoing about it…”

  “You and I are gonna be a family someday, and Evan is already a part of your family. In a way…he and I are gonna be family too. If we have the right attitude about it, we should all get along and respect each other. I can’t speak for him, but I’d like to think we can be friends.”

  “I think he’ll get there…eventually. Right now, he’s just upset.”

  “I understand. I’d feel the same way.” He kept eating, his muscular jaw working to chew his food.

  “I know I made the right decision. I just wish I didn’t have to hurt him in the process.”

  “He’ll find someone else and move on someday. Don’t beat yourself up over it. And don’t forget all of this happened because of him. The second he was tempted to be with another woman, he should have told you about it and worked something out. You could have gone to marriage counseling or something. But he didn’t fight for your marriage. He just walked away.”

  I knew Ace would never do the same thing Evan did. His loyalty to me was unshakeable. If we ever ran into a problem, he would be honest with me. He would give me the respect every partner deserved. Trust would never be an issue for us. “I know…”

  “Do you feel better now?”

  I nodded.

  “Good.” He returned to staring at me intently.

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “Anything.”

  “Did you stop seeing Lady because of me?” I thought that was the case, but when I’d asked him about it, he said no. Maybe he was lying.

  After taking a long time to chew his food, he finally nodded. “Yes.”

  “Because you thought you wanted to be with me?”

  He shrugged. “I didn’t know what was going to happen between us. I didn’t know what I was doing most of the time. I just knew I wanted to be with you and not her. It didn’t feel right.”

  “So did that mean you were with other people…?”

  “No. I wasn’t with anyone since I ended things between us. Just alone with my hand…and thoughts of you.”

  If we hadn’t done it so many times, I would probably be aroused again.

  “Now that we’re doing this, should we talk about our business? Some ground rules if we…you know.”

  “We aren’t going to break up.” He spoke with more confidence than I’d ever heard him produce. “We don’t need to waste time talking about a possibility that will never happen.”

  “Why are you so sure?” I didn’t challenge him, just expressed my curiosity.

  “You just know,” he said. “I’ve been with tons of women that were beautiful and smart… I had a great time. But I didn’t feel the excitement that I do with you, the comfort of being with a friend. When I’m with you, I don’t want anything else. I’m happy. I’m satisfied. I don’t need anything else. That’s how I know.”

  If I hadn’t thought this would last forever, I wouldn’t have picked Ace. I would have stuck to Evan, something that was guaranteed to work. I shared the exact same thoughts, but for slightly different reasons. “Then we don’t need to talk about it.”

  He gave a slight smile from across the table, his rugged handsomeness melting into a boyish charm. “No. We don’t need to talk about it.”

  * * *

  Evan didn’t come back to the house until a week after our last conversation. I didn’t get a phone call or a text from him. Eventually, the girls started to ask about him.

  “Where’s Daddy?” Lily asked at the dinner table.

  Ace was there, eating the dinner I’d made. He was great with the girls, being a role model and a parenting figure. He didn’t struggle to keep his authority, but he never crossed a line, and he left the punishments to me.

  “Yeah?” Rose asked. “Where’d he go?”

  I didn’t bother Evan because I knew he needed space, but I hoped he would come back soon. He needed to understand he was always welcome here—that this was his home.

  A knock sounded on the door, and we all turned our heads to the entryway.

  I immediately assumed it was Evan, but he probably wouldn’t drop by unannounced, not when things were so tense.

  I went to the door and answered it, expecting to see my sister.

  But it was Evan.

  With his hands in his pockets and a dark hoodie on his torso, he looked the same as he did before—but without those naturally bright eyes. No, they were somber and matte, not glossy and full of life. He looked at me like the sight of me pained him. “Hey…”

  “Hi.” I smiled when I looked at him, happy to see him. “Thanks for coming by.” I moved into his chest and hugged him.

  He hugged me back, his grip tight.

  “The girls are asking for you.”

  “They are?” he whispered.

  “They miss you.”

  “I miss them too. I missed them a lot this week…” He pulled away, a full beard on his face.

  “You’re always welcome to take them for the weekend, even the week if you want.”

  “I’ll move in to a house first. The apartment is pretty small. It’s a one-bedroom.”

  I stepped back and ushered him inside. “Have dinner with us.”

  He walked in but stopped when he saw Ace sitting at the table. He didn’t even look at the girls.

  Ace met his look before he got up from the table and walked over. He stepped up to Evan, his expressi
on warm instead of cold.

  Evan was the first one to raise his hand for a handshake.

  But Ace ignored it. Instead, he walked into his chest and hugged him. He gave him a pat on the back.

  Evan hesitated before he reciprocated the affection.

  Ace pulled away then slapped him on the arm. “It’s good to see you, man. I’m glad you’re here.”

  Evan continued to stare at him in surprise.

  I was grateful Ace was doing the best he could to make Evan feel welcome. He would definitely get a blow job later tonight.

  Evan cleared his throat. “Yeah…it’s good to see you too.”

  “The girls were just talking about you.” Ace stepped aside and turned to the table. “Get up and give your father a hug. Come on.”

  Both of the girls hopped out of their chairs and ran into Evan. They bumped into his waist and nearly made him stumble over because they charged so fast.

  Evan chuckled before he wrapped his arms around them. “Did you guys miss me?”

  “Yes!” Lily squeezed his waist. “You haven’t been at our tea parties, Daddy.”

  “Yeah,” Rose said. “It’s not as fun without you.”

  Evan’s eyes filled with affection as he stared at the two beautiful beings we’d made together. “Then let’s play after dinner.”

  “Yay,” Lily said.

  Rose hugged him again.

  Evan kneeled on the stone floor and wrapped his arms around both of them. He closed his eyes as he treasured our daughters, the angels we created together. Our marriage didn’t work out and we would live our lives separately, but we would always be connected. We would never regret what we’d had, not when something so wonderful came out of it.

  Ace came to my side and placed his hand on the small of my back. He rubbed me gently, a knowing smile on his face.

  I smiled back, happy with everything I had. I had the greatest memories of being married to Evan and being a family of four. But being a family of five was just a great, just as beautiful.

  Because we all loved each other.

  20

  Blade

  I didn’t go to work the next day. I texted Ace and told him I was sick.

  Celeste had already left. Like a pathetic loser, I walked by her house and saw how empty it was. She and Henry had already hopped on the plane and headed back to France. I walked back home and finally went to sleep.

  Since I hadn’t slept in thirty-six hours.

  When I woke up, it was four in the afternoon. I didn’t shower or change my clothes, and I immediately went downstairs and turned on my PS4. I drowned out my mind with video game violence and aliens.

  I didn’t think about anything.

  I hadn’t eaten anything in a long time, but I still didn’t have an appetite.

  I chose to be numb.

  I chose to be hollow.

  A knock sounded on my door, but I didn’t have the energy to answer it. “It’s open…” I didn’t care who walked inside. If it was a high school girl selling cookies, she could take my wallet and leave.

  But it was the gang—every single one of them.

  Bree was in the front with two pizza boxes in her hands. Cypress came next with a six-pack. Ace walked toward me at the couch with a sympathetic expression he never showed outside the five of us. Amelia gripped my shoulder, saying more with the touch than she could express with her mouth.

  They all knew.

  When I didn’t go to work, they knew why I didn’t show up. They knew me so well it was impossible for me to hide anything. “She went back to France with him yesterday…or today…at some point.” I wondered if she would be back to sell the house and her business. I doubt she would contact me if she did.

  It suddenly hit me that I would never see her again.

  Ever.

  Fuck, that hurt.

  I swallowed, feeling the muscles of my throat tense and shift.

  Amelia sat beside me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder. She pulled me close to her and held me like a sister.

  Bree set the pizzas down and rubbed my back.

  Cypress was the first one to say anything. “Sorry, man. All of us are.”

  “I know.” I rubbed my jaw, my muscles tense.

  “You want to talk about it?” Ace sat on the other couch, downplaying his happiness with Amelia just for me.

  “There’s nothing to say,” I whispered. “I told her I loved her and asked her to pick me…but she wanted him.” After everything we’d been through, she still wanted him. “He said he wanted to be monogamous now…but he shouldn’t have taken so long to figure that out.”

  “She’ll regret her decision,” Bree said. “Give it six months.”

  “I don’t want her to regret it. I’m not gonna wait around for her. She picked him. End of story. If she comes back to me, it’ll only make me sad.”

  “You’ll find someone better,” Ace said. “You’ll find the one someday.”

  She was the one.

  “You want to head to the beach?” Cypress asked. “Play football?”

  “No.” I didn’t want to do anything.

  “How about some pizza?” Bree asked.

  I appreciated their company, but I didn’t have an appetite. “No thanks.”

  “How about we play a board game?” Cypress asked.

  “I don’t want to do anything…” I didn’t want to be harsh when they were only trying to help.

  “Well, that’s too bad,” Ace said. “We aren’t leaving your side. Make the best of it.”

  * * *

  The next day, we all took the day off and went hiking in Point Lobos. It was less than two miles away and a short drive, and we spent the whole day there. We packed a lunch and ate on top of one of the cliffs that overlooked the water.

  It was nice to get out of the house and directly under the sunshine. The air was clean, much better than my stuffy house. I was tired because I was oversleeping, having no reason to get up in the morning anymore.

  Bree made sandwiches, and we enjoyed them while we listened to the waves.

  “These are great, sweetheart,” Cypress said as he chewed.

  “Thanks,” Bree said with a smile.

  Sometimes I forgot I was with two couples because it didn’t feel that way. It always felt like five friends hanging out, not me as the awkward fifth wheel. “It is good…” I’d been a dick for the past few days, and I knew I needed to lighten up. They would only tolerate my bad attitude for so long.

  “Thanks,” Bree said.

  I stared out at the ocean, and my mind wandered back to Celeste. I wondered what she was doing in Paris, if she thought about me as often as I thought about her. Did Henry quit his job? Was she happy?

  Ace knew my thoughts drifted away and tapped me on the arm. “Look, there’s dolphins.”

  I saw them swimming at the edge of the cliff face, jumping and splashing around. I saw dolphins so often that it wasn’t novel anymore. I nodded then took another bite of my sandwich. “Cool…”

  “You won’t always feel this way.” Amelia spoke from her place in the circle, sitting on a towel with her water bottle in front of her. “I’ve been through a lot…as you know. I can promise you it gets better, Blade. At the time, we all think heartbreak will kill us…but we survive.”

  “Thanks, Amy,” I whispered. If I didn’t have them, I would have suffered a million times worse. In my darkest hour, I counted my blessings. “Thanks for everything, guys. I know you have other stuff to do, but you stay with me… I appreciate it.”

  “You know we love you,” Bree said.

  “Yeah, man,” Ace said. “You’re our brother.”

  I forced a smile, but it was partially genuine. “I know. I love you too…”

  * * *

  Ace pulled up in his Range Rover and stopped in front of my house.

  I opened the door and hopped out, and that’s when I noticed Celeste sitting on my porch.

  With two suitcases.

  “Oh, s
hit…” Ace whispered.

  “She came back!” Bree squealed from the back seat.

  “Shh,” Cypress hissed. “Ace, drive off.”

  “Oh yeah.” I heard the door slam as Ace hit the gas and drove up the street.

  I didn’t look at the car because I was too absorbed in the sight right in front of me. Celeste was here, sitting on my porch and looking at me. She wore no makeup, and she was in jeans and a t-shirt, her most casual appearance.

  It took me a second to understand this was real. I wasn’t making it up or having a dream.

  She was really standing in front of my door.

  I slowly walked forward and took the steps until I reached the walkaway.

  She looked at me with an expression of uncertainty, obviously unsure if she would be greeted with open arms. She did pick him. She did leave with him. That was her choice.

  But she also chose to come back.

  I stared down at her, unable to form words with my mouth.

  She stood up and looked me in the eye, her face pale and her eyes dead inside. She looked like she was on the verge of crying, tears ready to escape like water bursting from a dam. “When we got to France, I stayed there for a day. I went back to my apartment where all my things are… I told him we would make it work. But it didn’t feel like home. It didn’t feel right. It didn’t… I should have stayed with you.”

  My chest rose and fell heavily as the truth sank into me. This wasn’t a mirage. I was really looking at the ocean, not a desert.

  “I’m sorry I hurt you,” she said with a strained voice. “I’m sorry I left. I just hope…you love me enough to take me back.”

  I didn’t think before I spoke. The words left my mouth all on their own. “You already know I do.”

  The tears broke through and streaked down her face. She moved into my body and wrapped her arms around my neck, crying into my chest.

  I turned into my protective lover mode, wrapping my entire body around her to make her feel safe. I let her cry into my chest, and I consoled her at the same time. My woman was back, my lady. I loved her so damn much. My chest ached just thinking about it. “Don’t ever leave again—unless I come with you.”