One New Message (A Dark Romance Novel)

by Vivian Ward

Isn’t it ironic?

  Isn’t omission of guilt a form of lying?

  Suddenly, I feel more guilty than ever before.

  Chapter 13

  My head is swimming with information from the last conversation that I had with Zack.

  How could I have missed it? How did I not see the reason for the struggle of their relationship?

  Two brothers were growing up in the same household, with the same parents, yet light years apart because of the ways they were both treated by their parents. I guess it all makes sense when you put two and two together and start adding up the math.

  Trent was their dad’s golden child, and their mother tried to iron out any wrinkles that were left behind when Zack was excluded from things with his brother and father.

  It bothers me to see both of them in this situation, and I want to help them; though, I’m not sure if I have the power to do that.

  Zack’s conversation with Jenny is still troubling me.

  I’m not sure why I allowed myself to think that someone like him would be completely single. Maybe I thought so because he hadn’t mentioned anyone being in the picture and the one girl—Angie—who I thought was, isn’t. Even though he doesn’t consider Jenny, a girlfriend, she seems very much like one.

  What’s odd is that he doesn’t appear to be happy with her. Not that he’s unhappy, but he’s not “happy” either. It’s like he’s stuck in a neutral place with her. Fuck buddies, friends with benefits, whatever you want to call it.

  Maybe part of his problem is that he is so good looking. Women expect him to be a man whore because of this, so he uses it to his advantage and sleeps around a lot.

  It probably doesn’t help that he has such an attractive smile with a charismatic personality. I’ve always been drawn to him, even when I shouldn’t have been—including now.

  But right now, I need to push all of this out of my head. At least for a while because Trent will be here in a couple of hours to pick me up. We’re going out for dinner, and then possibly drinks.

  Wiping the steam from the mirror, I crack the bathroom door to let in some fresh air to help remove the thick fog from the shower and put some moisturizer on my face.

  “Are you going out again tonight?” my dad asks from the hall.

  “Trent’s coming to pick me up in just a bit. I thought you’d be gone?”

  We continue talking through the crack in the door as I try to slip into my robe before heading out to my room so I can figure out what to wear.

  “I was supposed to leave an hour ago, but I was hoping Earl would call me to let me know if he needs a ride or not.”

  Earl is one of his friends who hangs out in the clique that they’re all part of and he often relies on my dad for rides.

  “Dad,” I open the door, tying my robe. “You can’t waste your whole life sitting around, waiting to see if others need your help. You should go on with the rest of your friends. If he needs a ride, I’m sure he’ll call.”

  “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He hugs me. “When did you become so smart? And so beautiful? You look like your mother.”

  “Thanks, dad. I get it all from you.”

  “I’ll leave you alone so you can get ready. Are you and Trent starting to get serious yet?”

  I shrug. “Not really. I mean, we’re still casually dating. Nothing set in stone or anything.”

  “I noticed you hanging out with Zack,” he waves his finger at me. “Remember, you’re not a baseball player. Don’t try to play the field.”

  “Dad! No, I am not having this discussion with you. Nope.”

  “I love you, honey. I don’t want to see you get hurt or caught up in something you can’t handle.”

  “Okay, dad. I appreciate your fatherly talk, but I’ve got to get dressed before Trent shows up.”

  “I love you,” he kisses my cheek. “Have fun, make some grandkids,” he teases.

  “What is it with you and grandkids?” I laugh. “I’m not ready to have any kids yet. I’m still trying to figure out what I want to do in life.”

  He walks down the hall muttering something as he goes out the front door, leaving me to get ready in peace.

  I’m not sure why he thought I’d want to talk to him about my love life. I know he means well, and he just cares, but I’m also not ready to go there with him.

  Scrambling to get ready, I notice that Trent will be here in a few minutes. Pulling my hair back, I wrap it in a sleek ponytail and secure any loose fly-aways to give my hair a neater appearance.

  “Joline? Are you here?”

  What the…? How did he get in here?

  “In my room,” I call out to him, searching for my boots. “How’d you get in here?” I ask as he appears in my doorway.

  “I knocked about a dozen times and called your name, but you didn’t answer.”

  “Why didn’t you try the doorbell?” I ask.

  “I did, but it must be broken.” His eyes scan my body. “You look beautiful.”

  He reaches for my hand and kisses it.

  “Let me slip on my boots and I’ll be ready,” I say.

  On our way to the restaurant, he tells me about his day, and I ask about his new clients. He seems like he’s in such a good mood and I’m glad.

  Since we haven’t spent a lot of time together recently, I realize how much has been going on lately. He’s not stopped talking since we got in the car but I don’t mind. I like it quite a bit.

  Going on about his latest business adventure, I get a text from Zack asking what I’m doing. I lower my phone under the table to respond and tell him that I’m not doing much.

  He replies that he’s bored and wants to know if I want to do something.

  Wonder where good ole’ “Jenny” is?

  I text back, asking if he wants to meet up for drinks in about an hour, hoping that I can get Trent to agree to go to the bar. He doesn’t have to know that his brother will be there, not until we’re already there anyway. Maybe this is the chance I’ve been waiting for.

  “Look at that,” he says after our food arrives. “I’ve been going on the whole night. What have you been up to? I haven’t heard from you much lately. Tell me what’s going on in the world of Joline.”

  Gee, where do I start?

  There’s no way that I can tell him about the card counting, but I a small, tiny part of me wants to let him know that I’ve been talking to his brother. If I can remove even an ounce of strain on their relationship, it would be worth it.

  “Looking for jobs,” I shrug.

  “How’s that going?”

  “Not great. The job market is competitive, especially right now.”

  I slowly sip my wine, buying some time to bring up going out after dinner. I don’t want to sound too eager, or he’ll suspect something.

  “I wish you’d let me help your situation. I have more than enough money to pay your bills.”

  His sentiment is sweet, and some girls might like it, but that’s not what I’m about. I’ve never been into letting a man support me. Ever. And I’m not about to now.

  “Trent,” I start. “I have never in my life let a man pay my way, and it insults me when you say that. I wish you’d knock it off. Do you think I’m incapable of finding work or supporting myself?”

  “I don’t think that at all,” he presses his mouth into a taut line. “All I’m saying is that I can take care of things for you. Why do you always get so defensive?”

  I open my mouth to speak but quickly close it before I say the wrong thing.

  No, forget it. I’m not holding back.

  “Do you want to know why I get so defensive? Because I don’t want a free ride from a man. I will never be indebted to anyone. Ever. I have and always will earn my own money and be independent.”

  I notice that I’m raising my voice even though I don’t mean to so I lean toward the center of the table and lower my voice.

  “You make me feel like an invalid, like someone who can’t take care of herself.
I don’t know if it’s because I’m a woman or if it’s because you think you’re so much superior to me, but I’ve had enough of your offers. I want you to respect my decisions.”

  For the remainder of our dinner, what was supposed to be a night out, we eat in silence. I’m still steaming over his incessant need to take care of me. I’m not a child and am very capable of taking care of myself.

  “I guess I’ll take you back home,” he says as we pull out of the parking lot.

  “No, drop me off at Mississippi Nights.”

  “Mississippi Nights? You want me to take you to the landing?”

  “Yeah,” I look at him and see the reflection of headlights scroll across his face as they pass us. “I told a friend that I might come out for drinks later, and I don’t feel like going home right now.”

  “Whatever,” he says.

  I’m so angry with him right now that I don’t have the energy to try to bring him and his brother closer tonight. If it hadn’t been for the whole bit about offending me, it wouldn’t have been a problem.

  But tonight isn’t the night.

  Right now, I just want to vent and blow off some steam while I unwind because he’s got me wound pretty tight after our heated dinner discussion.

  His jaw is tight, flexed. He presses down on the accelerator, launching us farther down the highway until we finally come to my exit.

  “Have a good time,” he says, refusing to look at me as I unfasten my seatbelt and get out of the car.

  “Don’t worry. I will.”

  Slamming the car door shut, I make my way inside of the busy club and send Zack a text to let him know that I’m here.

  Less than a minute later, I see him emerge from the perimeter of the dance floor.

  “Glad you could make it,” he leans in, kissing my cheek.

  My skin tingles where his lips were pressed against my face and causes me to blush for a brief moment.

  I don’t know how he can have this effect on me.

  And it continues as he places his hand in the crook of my back and ushers me to a table near the front of the club where we have a stunning view of the riverfront.

  The tall glass front provides a spectacular sight of the St. Louis moonlight cascading off of the rushing river currents, making it appear as a blanket of shimmery magnificence.

  “I didn’t think you were going to come,” he says to me as the waitress places our drinks on the table.

  “Why?” I ask, taking a drink of my amaretto sour.

  “You still don’t have a car, and I wasn’t sure if you’d meet me here tonight. You know, since it’s not business and all.”

  “I get around.”

  No sooner than I say those words, I instantly regret them. I quickly try to backtrack, but it’s too late.

  “You do, huh?”

  Zack raises his eyebrow a few times as he nudges me.

  “Why didn’t you say so? I would’ve taken advantage sooner.”

  “Come on, Zack,” I say, sipping my drink. “You know I’m not really like that.”

  Yes, it’s true that Slutty Joline has made her appearance from time to time, but I’ve never actually gotten around.

  “Besides, you know that I’m sort of seeing your brother.”

  “Yeah, but fuck him. You’re too good for him. You know that?”

  He puts his hand on top of mine and scoots closer to me.

  “I’m not sure what you see in him or why you’ve suddenly given him a chance, but it should’ve been me. We go way back and have a lot more history than the two of you.” He looks down at his drink and runs his free hand around the rim of the glass. “What made you pick him anyway?”

  My heart sinks hearing him talk like this and looking at the sad expression in his eyes, my knees go weak. It’s a good thing we’re sitting down.

  “It’s not like that, exactly. I’ve never picked anyone.”

  He gives me a half-cocked smile and tilts his head.

  “Come on, Joline, do you expect me to believe that?”

  “It’s true! We just kind of happened, and we’re nothing official.”

  “Friends with benefits?” he asks, shaking his head as he slams his shot. “Lucky bastard. Now tell me why I can’t be that lucky?”

  Wow.

  Stunned, I can hardly respond.

  “Well, what about you and Jenny? You’ve got a thing going on with her, too. Friends with benefits.”

  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. And you’re right; I do, but Jenny sleeps around with other men.”

  I look at him in disbelief.

  How can he be so content with that?

  He shrugs, almost as if he could read my mind.

  “It’s not a big deal. I’ve kind of learned not to get too close to anyone. Can’t help it, though. I guess I can thank my old man for that.”

  He draws in a long, deep breath as though he’s contemplating.

  “Does he know you’re here tonight? With me?”

  I shake my head.

  “We were out having dinner earlier, and we got into it, so I had him drop me off here.”

  “So that’s how you got here! I thought maybe you took an uber or something.”

  “No,” I say finishing my drink.

  “I’ll go grab us another. If we wait for the cocktail waitress to come back, we might wait forever.”

  I check my phone while he’s at the bar. There are two text messages. One is an Amber Alert for our area, and the other is from my dad, but I’m not sure what he was trying to send me because it’s garbled letters and doesn’t make any sense.

  “Here you go,” he slides me another amaretto sour and sits down next to me.

  “To friends of all kinds,” I hold my glass up. “Close friends, friends with benefits, and long-lasting childhood friends.”

  “I’ll drink to that,” he nods.

  He wraps his arm around me and leans in, resting his forehead against mine.

  “I’m glad to have you back in my life. You’ve always been so special to me.”

  His breath hits my neck and earlobe, causing tingle to run down my body. I can feel him everywhere, all around me.

  It feels comfortable.

  Close and connected.

  But it shouldn’t, should it?

  Leaning my head into the crook of his neck, I sigh and look into his eyes.

  “We do make a pretty good team, don’t we? I mean, we work together, we play together, and we can talk to each other.”

  It feels good to have a close friend like him. Ever since Karli got married, she’s been so busy, and I haven’t had anyone that I can talk to, but Zack’s here for me.

  Looking into my eyes, he says, “Joline, you have no idea.”

  He flashes a devilish smile at me and pulls me into a warm, cozy embrace. Even though it’s not meant as a sexual gesture, it feels so intimate, and I can feel the heat of his body somehow imprinting itself onto my skin.

  I start to respond but am interrupted before I can even finish my sentence.

  “What the hell?” Trent says.

  I look forward, and I see him towering before us, his broad shoulders blocking the club lights from behind him as his puffy chest heaves in and out.

  The look on his face tells me that he’s pissed as I take note of a frown settling on his brow and his upper lip curls in an abnormal movement that I’ve never seen emerge from him.

  All of a sudden, Zack releases his warm hold on me, leaving me exposed and, somehow, cold. What felt like a harmless gesture, two friends hugging seems wrong.

  Inappropriate.

  Galling.

  My mind scrambles for excuses to try to make this right because I feel the need to explain and apologize.

  “I, um,” I look at Zack. “I’m here with your brother.”

  The two of them are participating in an unspoken staring competition, neither one of them speaking a word to each other; yet, the environment felt hostile.

  Uncomfortable
.

  He’s not even looking at me. He’s looking through me, straight at his brother.

  Reaching up with my hands, I grab his face and try to focus his attention on me.

  “I’m glad you came back.”

  I lie.

  I thought for sure that he would have gone home and gone to bed. Apparently, I am wrong.

  Slowly, he turns his gaze toward me and looks into my eyes. His blank stare sends a chill down my spine.

  “Have a seat,” Zack kicks a chair out from underneath the table.

  Trent takes the seat but doesn’t lose eye contact with me. No, he’s completely focused on me.

  Zack holds his finger up in the air signaling over the waitress. Much to my surprise, she comes within seconds despite having a large crowd to serve.

  “Get my brother a Manhattan and bring us another round, too.”

  She sashays away from the table, and I wish I could go with her. The tension is so tight that you could slice it with a knife.

  “She talks an awful lot about you,” Zack says.

  It seems like he’s trying to break the ice, but it doesn’t look like Trent’s lightning up.

  “Yeah? Well, she hasn’t mentioned you at all.”

  Zack looks at me with a hint of surprise that I haven’t mentioned him, but he doesn’t seem bitter.

  The two of them continue with their stare off as the waitress brings our drinks back to the table.

  “So what is this? First I find you guys hanging out, dancing and all over each other at the wedding reception and now this?”

  “This is…nothing,” I quickly jump to our defense. “I’ve known him as long as I’ve known you. Remember?” I take a sip of my drink. “And there’s nothing wrong with a couple of friends hanging out.”

  “No, there’s nothing wrong with a couple of friends hanging out. Just surprises me to see you with,” he looks at Zack, “him.”

  “With him?” Zack repeats offensively. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  None of this is going how I planned at all.

  “Okay guys, can I say something?” I interrupt. I figure I better do something before the two of these get into it. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve seen them fight.

  They both turn their attention to me and even though that’s what I was wanting, I somehow feel smaller.