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Violent Daylight

Page 29

by Caroline Angus Baker


  “Yes, almost an hour ago,” Michael said with a deep breath. “Everything went as planned.”

  “Is Veena all right?”

  “She is, but she is asleep now. I knew that Canna was out here, so I brought the baby out for a moment.”

  “Can you give us a minute?”

  Michael paused for a moment and then nodded. He seemed as shocked as Canna; they had just both become step-parents. He turned and disappeared though the doors that must have led to the maternity suites.

  “Do you want to hold him?” Canna asked.

  Claudio grinned; he wanted nothing more. The pair sat down together, and Canna handed him the baby. “I’ve never held a baby before,” he commented.

  “Me neither.”

  Claudio sat stiff; his arms encased the child that leaned against his jacket. He watched the boy open his eyes. “Dios en el cielo,” he whispered. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

  Canna put one arm around Claudio and brushed a finger over the tiny child’s face. “He looks just like you.”

  Claudio’s face broke into a smile with a surge of pride he had never experienced. “Te lo prometo, de mi corazón a su corazón, yo siempre te amaré,” he whispered to the baby.

  “I promise, from my heart to your heart, I will always love you?” Canna asked.

  Claudio nodded. “The same goes for you, too.” He gave her a gentle kiss, and noticed that she was trembling. He looked back to the baby as another tear ran down his cheek. “I wasn’t there when he was born.”

  “Veena didn’t want you to be. You arrived right on time. Mike and I only had him in here for about a minute.”

  “Everything I have ever done feels worthless compared to this. Except for loving you, of course.”

  “You don’t have to say that.”

  “I mean it. Everything I need is right here with me at this very moment.”

  “Me, too.”

  “Thank you for being here in my place.”

  “It’s my pleasure.”

  Claudio watched Casamiro yawn, and he laughed. “My little one, are we keeping you up too late?”

  “It must be exhausting to be that adorable,” Canna said.

  “It is, trust me, I know,” Claudio replied, and Canna kissed his cheek. “I… I don’t know what to say…”

  “There are no words for moments like this.” Canna rested her head on Claudio’s shoulder, and they watched the baby in silence.

  Claudio pulled the swaddled blanket, to find ten curled little toes. He ran his fingers over the tiny feet, up his tiny little arms and through the wisps of black hair on his head. He looked at the little name-tag on his wrist. “How can something so perfect be born out of something so complicated?”

  “Past mistakes don’t matter anymore. Veena will take good care of this baby, you know that. All that matters now is doing the right thing for Casamiro.”

  Claudio glanced at the tired face that rested on his shoulder. “This makes things seem so different.”

  “How?”

  “I can’t help but think of the baby that we were going to have… until your car accident…”

  “It isn’t worth thinking about right now. Life has given you a second chance, Claudio.”

  “What about you?”

  “I have to be content with sitting on the side-lines while others live a happy life.”

  The quiet moment broke when the double doors to the maternity rooms burst open, and Michael ran out. He went to the elevator and smacked the button on the wall. He turned and glanced at Claudio and Canna, huddled around the precious bundle. “Keep it,” he said as the elevator opened. Before either of them could speak, he disappeared.

  The door opened again, and a nurse appeared. “I’m sorry, I need to get the baby back to Ms. Valadez,” she said.

  “Is she awake? Can we see her?” Claudio asked.

  “And you are?”

  “Claudio Ramos, the baby’s father. Veena is my wife.”

  The nurse frowned at the scene; the mother was in bed after her surgery, and the man who had been in the theatre wasn’t the father. Here was the real husband and father with another woman, all wanting to see the mother? “I need to take the baby,” she repeated. “I’m sorry, but Ms. Valadez wants her baby.”

  “Of course she does,” Canna said.

  “I don’t think she wants any guests, she’s very drained.”

  “I’m sure she is. Did Michael say when he would be back?” Claudio asked.

  The nurse glanced at the baby and back to Claudio. “My understanding is that Mr. Lands won’t be back.”

  “We can’t just leave Veena here on her own,” Canna said.

  “I think she would prefer it.”

  “What’s going on here?” Claudio asked with a frown. “I want to be with my son. You don’t have the right to hold him from me!”

  “Calm down, Claudio,” Canna whispered. The young nurse didn’t need a Spanish bull breathing down on her. “Veena will need to feed him. I once read that breastfeeding can be pretty hard.”

  “Yes, especially after a caesarean section,” the nurse said. “I need to take the baby to his mother. I can ask her if you can be allowed in to help her a little.”

  Claudio left with the nurse and Canna sat down on her own. The silence in the waiting room almost deafened her. Claudio had rushed off with his son in his arms. His son. Canna could imagine would happen; Claudio would give the baby to Veena, and she would order him to leave, which would break his heart.

  A few minutes ticked by, followed by many more. After half an hour, Canna began to wonder what was going on in that private room. Relief came in the sight of Claudio through the double doors again. “Sorry,” he said. “Things are a bit of a mess.”

  “That’s okay,” Canna said. She grabbed her white clutch purse off the table. “Are you ready to go?”

  “Ah… there has been a development.”

  “What?”

  “Michael and Veena broke up.”

  “What? Here? Now?”

  “Yes, as she rested in bed after the surgery, Michael said that he looked at the baby, and realised that he can’t raise another man’s son.”

  “Holy shit.” Canna could understand that. The pain of watching Claudio with the baby was still sinking into her.

  “Veena has just had a baby. She has just had major surgery and Michael has freaked out and left her. You can understand how upset she is.”

  “I’m sure.”

  “Her parents will arrive from Cartagena tomorrow night, but she can’t be here on her own.”

  “You need to stay with her, Claudio.”

  “She asked me to stay.”

  “I’m glad to hear it. You two don’t need to be hateful towards each other.”

  “Veena just needs someone here, you know? She needs someone to sit there while she rests.”

  “Of course. When you’re in a hospital bed, having no one beside you is a horrible feeling.”

  Claudio nodded, not making the connection between this situation and when he wasn’t there for Canna during her accident reconstruction surgery earlier in the year. “I want to be angry at Michael, but I’m pleased he’s gone. He wanted to replace me as Casamiro’s father.”

  “He can’t do that.”

  “He’s a coward. All I can think of is the baby right now, but when I see that guy again, I’m going smash his face. I need to get him out of my house.”

  “You mean Veena’s house.”

  Claudio shook his head. “Sorry, yes. I’m just…”

  “It’s okay. It’s been a big night. I can wait here as long as you need me.”

  “Actually… I think Veena would be more comfortable if you left.”

  “She hates me.”

  “We have just had a baby, and Veena is very emotional.”

  “Veena hates me and wants me to stay away from you and the child. You can say it, Claudio. Everyone hates me.”

  “Blinky, that isn’t remotel
y true.”

  Canna pulled her purse open and produced the keys to the Mercedes. “Here,” she said. “You take the car, and I’ll get a taxi.”

  “No, no. It’s very late. I want you to be safe. Take the car, please, so I know you’re all right.”

  Canna was anything but all right. “Sure, whatever makes you happy.”

  “Thank you for coming.” Claudio stepped forward and kissed her. “Seeing my son for the first time, in your arms… I couldn’t have asked for more.”

  Canna stood silent as Claudio dashed through the doors and back to Veena and her baby. It seemed so selfish to be upset right now, but the moment he disappeared, Canna burst into tears. It felt easy to understand how much she loved Claudio when she saw him with someone else. He would be cradling his son while the child’s mother rested in the bed next to him. In a flash, the whole landscape of their lives had changed. The future seemed impossible to grasp.

  Canna took a deep breath and tried to compose herself. She went over to the elevator and waited for it to open. Inside the elevator, the walls were mirrors, and he could see how the tears had smeared her heavy eyeliner. She looked like a drug addict, so she may as well act like one.

  When she stepped out of the elevator, the rude receptionist looked at her. “Is everything all right, ma’am?” she asked.

  “Do you know where I can find a pharmacy that would be open?” Canna asked.

  Directions in hand, Canna jumped in the Mercedes and headed to the all-night pharmacy nearby. She hadn’t realised there was a place so close to home where she could find pills. How convenient. She tidied her makeup as best she could, and went inside on her mission. The pharmacist seemed suspicious when she asked for the strongest painkiller she could buy over the counter.

  “Do you take any medications?” the man asked.

  “No, nothing.”

  “Have you had this type of pain before?”

  Canna laughed inwardly. This pain? This awareness of worthlessness and agony? Sure, it had been her best friend for years. “Yes,” she lied. “It’s all my fault. I wear high heels to work, and then I get a sore back. I just need something to dull the pain and reduce the inflammation so I can sleep.”

  “We have a Codeine tablet mixed with Ibuprofen that could help.”

  I just made up a problem that fits the description of both of those ingredients. You would think late-night pharmacists would recognise a drug user. Idiot. Even the most benign tablet could be lethal when abused. “Whatever you think is best,” she smiled.

  “But they need to be used with strict caution, Miss. You can’t take more than six tablets in any 24 hour period.”

  Canna couldn’t get out of there quick enough. She tossed the pills on the passenger seat of the vehicle and headed for the nearest liquor store. They could be found all over London. Codeine and a bottle of vodka. What a perfect way to end a lousy evening.

  Canna flicked on the night in the entrance way and kicked off her heels. She ripped her white gown off and peeled off her uncomfortable stick-on bra cups. She tossed the torturous objects on the ground and grabbed her vodka and tablets. Canna sat almost naked on the couch and ripped the tablets open. A packet of 24 pills. They could do a lot of damage. She swallowed half a dozen pills at once with the aid of the vodka. Control over her life had reappeared, in that moment. Taking pills; there seemed to be so much freedom in it. Control was the only coping mechanism.

  The vodka tasted fabulous. She gulped it from the bottle, hoping to get in as much as possible before she became dizzy. The bottle was half empty before she set it down on the coffee table. Canna leant back on the leather couch and felt the cold sting of the fabric on her bare skin. Finally, peace. In the darkness, the kitchen clock ticked away, but the rest of the world had left Canna alone.

  Time began to pass. It was impossible to tell the time when heartbroken. Canna couldn’t decide if her head was heavy or light. One moment it felt like a brick attached to her neck, and she couldn’t sit up straight. Next it felt like a helium balloon tied to the dead weight of her body. She slumped forward and grabbed the vodka. Dizziness had begun to take over, and so had the warm sensation of being numb. Codeine was excellent for anxiety. The sight of Claudio dashing to be with Veena flew through her mind, and Canna took another gulp of the fiery vodka. Bed, she needed sleep. No more drink or she would give herself alcohol poisoning.

  With the trusty bottle in her hand, Canna went upstairs to her room. Darkness. Silence. A whisper. Canna, I’m still here. I can still help you. The razorblade taped to the hand-basin. No one would know.

  She turned on the bathroom light, and her eyes stung. Her eyeliner and mascara had run and burned her blue eyes. She set the vodka bottle down on the white tiles and opened the cabinet under the hand-basin. Sure enough, there sat the razorblade. Canna peeled the Band-Aid back and took the silver blade in her hands.

  “Are we back to this, Canna?” she asked herself. “Remember how proud you were on 100 days of sobriety? You sat on a park bench in El Retiro park, in the warm Madrid sunshine. You had Claudio’s arms around you, and he told you how proud he felt. With this blade, you could do so much harm to Claudio. He would be so angry. It could push him closer to the other woman he is caring for right now.”

  Canna paused; stomach cramps, a classic side effect of pills and alcohol. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes again. The world became a dark place, a cruel, indifferent place where Canna could be as self-destructive as she pleased. She had killed a man in his own home, and yet her only worry was Claudio holding a child that Veena had freshly-sliced from her belly.

  What to do with the blade? Canna looked at her foot. Perfect. She positioned the sharp edge of the blade just below her ankle and stabbed in the blade. Blood began to ooze from the skin as she dug deeper. She whimpered due to the stinging pain, and began to carve her skin. She cut diagonally away from her ankle towards her heel, and stopped when the blade burst through the soft skin of the base of her foot. Blood poured from the deep precise wound.

  Canna tossed the blade on the floor and watched herself bleed. The pain felt exquisite. The whole world ceased to exist; all she had was the blood that ran onto the floor. She grabbed the vodka bottle and poured the delicious liquid onto her cut, which caused the wound to burn with pain.

  “Fuck,” Canna uttered as she grabbed the towel off the warm towel-rail and held it against the injury. The blood began to seep through as she tried to stem the flow. She couldn’t make too much mess, or Claudio would catch her. If he ever came home. For all Canna knew, he would be with Veena all night. Maybe longer. Veena had what Claudio wanted, and Canna didn’t. Then the moment came; the vodka and codeine needed to be expelled. With her head in the basin, Canna coughed up most of the toxins all at once. The little white pills spiralled down the plug-hole, along with the translucent vodka.

  With the towel wrapped around her damaged foot, Canna dragged herself out of the bathroom and slumped down on the bed. This injury would be serious enough that a doctor would give her serious painkillers if she asked for them. All she needed to do was lie about the injury to Claudio, if he even bothered to notice anything was wrong.

  Canna passed out, lost in a haze of pain and confusion. Life seemed back to normal. A dark normal that Canna couldn’t escape.

  CHAPTER 30

  LONDON

  Claudio yawned as the taxi drove through the busy London streets. The city bustled with early afternoon activity, but all Claudio needed was a few hours in bed. He had listened to Veena cry and rant for hours about Michael; not quite how Claudio expected he would spend the first few hours as a father. Eventually Veena fell asleep, with the aid of a powerful tablet, and Claudio dozed in an armchair. He couldn’t help but wake every half an hour or so, and pick up the child from the bassinet. Human contact was better than lying alone.

  Casamiro Valadez Ramos. The moment he held his son, Claudio didn’t care that his name wasn’t ahead of Veena’s. He watched Veena hold the child
, and the love she had for the boy was evident. Claudio and Veena may have made a terrible couple, but he knew that Veena would be a good mother for his son.

  The haze of joy and tiredness gave way to concern as Claudio’s taxi pulled up to the Pembridge townhouse. Detective Johnson and Detective Daniels stood at the bottom of the steps, and Giancarlo stood at the top as if guarding the entrance to the house. The hulking Italian gave no more than ordinary nod in acknowledgement when Claudio stepped out of the car.

  “Mr. Ramos Ibáñez,” Detective Daniels said.

  “What do you want?” Claudio knew that if Giancarlo had arrived, something must be wrong.

  “We needed a statement from Ms. Medici and she has been kind enough to give it to us today,” Detective Johnson.

  “You ambushed her while I wasn’t here?”

  “Ms. Medici said that you weren’t available. It’s not a problem. We don’t need any more details.”

  “But I can vouch for Canna’s whereabouts all evening in Moscow.”

  “We are happy that we have all the facts in regards to Ms. Medici’s visit to Russia. Have a pleasant day, Mr. Ramos.”

  Claudio stood and watched the men get into their car and pull out of the quiet street. He turned his attention back to Giancarlo at the door. “Ciao, Giancarlo. I’m surprised to you here.”

  Giancarlo put his hand out and the men shared a hearty handshake. “Good afternoon. I hear congratulations is in order. A son!”

  Claudio nodded. “Casamiro. He is doing well. His mother, she got knocked around a little, but she should be home in a few days.”

  “I’m sure you know how lucky you are.”

  “Indeed. It’s the best day of my life.”

  Giancarlo nodded in agreement. “When I saw my wife, holding each of our daughters on the day of their birth… it’s the most beautiful sight you can behold. The world changes before your eyes.”

  “Certainly.” Claudio glanced back to the road. The quiet street was empty. “Giancarlo, may I ask a question?”

  “I suppose.”

 

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