Northern Girl

by Fadette Marie Marcelle Cripps

  ‘Well, shall ah, or shan’t ah, do the toast?’ Jeannie asked.

  ‘No, you entertain your friend, pet. I’ll do it. I don’t like you using the grill. It gets a bit too hot.’ Rene got up from fixing the wireless. ‘Anyway, I thought you two were teaching each other how to speak?’

  ‘We are,’ said Jeannie defensively.

  ‘I haven’t heard much evidence of it yet,’ Rene called from the kitchen.

  ‘Rene! Rene!’ A voice called from downstairs. ‘Telephone!’

  ‘OK! Just coming, Hilda!’ she called, hurriedly dividing the beans and toast between the two plates before calling Jeannie and Ian to the table.

  ‘Who is it?’ she called back.

  ‘It’s yer mam!’ Hilda shouted.

  Rene ran downstairs and picked up the receiver. ‘Hello, Mam,’ she said cautiously, knowing that it must be important, because Hannah had to go all the way to a telephone box, or ask Mrs Atkins at No. 1.

  ‘Hello, pet,’ said the voice at the other end. ‘Ah wondered if you and our Jeannie could come over tomorrow, cause our Tom and the lass and the bairn are arriving in the morning. Ah’d like yer ter be here if yer can, fer a bit of moral support, like?’

  ‘Good grief, Mam! Tom only went back over there a couple of days ago. I didn’t expect them back so soon! Of course I’ll come. That’s if I can sort something out here in the shop. I’ll ring the school in the morning and get Jeannie the day off.’

  ‘Ay, thanks, pet. Get here as early as yer can, eh?’

  ‘Will do. Bye, Mam, and don’t you be worrying on!’ Rene instructed, knowing what Hannah was like. She put the receiver down slowly.

  ‘Everything all right?’ Hilda asked.

  ‘Yes. Yes, thanks,’ Rene answered absent-mindedly. ‘Would you mind opening up the shop for me in the morning, Hilda? I’ve got to go out, maybe even for the whole day.’

  ‘Of course ah will, but—’

  ‘I know. It’s the first day of the sales. But Mary is coming in to help out, anyway, so there’ll be three of you, and I’ll do my best to get back in the afternoon.’

  Hilda started to ask what the problem at home was, but Rene, not wanting to explain right then, cut her off gently. ‘I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow, when I get back. I’d better go up and see to the children now. Thanks again, Hilda.’ She smiled. ‘I’ll see you all right for this.’

  ‘Oh, no bother!’ Hilda replied, delighted by the prospect of a bit of extra money.

  Evenwood, England

  Monday, 29 July 1946

  Tom and Madeleine stepped off the train at Ramshaw Station. Baby Francine was fractious and tired, and the stationmaster ran over to help Tom, who was struggling to get two hefty cases down from the train. Tom pushed a sixpenny piece into his hand and thanked him.

  ‘Oh, a tanner! Thanks, mate!’ he said gratefully.

  Tom, a case in each hand now, led the way, while Maddie had to keep stopping to tuck in Francine’s shawl, which seemed to slip down every few steps she took. She tried in vain to keep up with Tom, but guessed that the cases were so heavy he didn’t dare slow down.

  They had travelled all night, and Maddie was not only tired, but scared and miserable. Leaving her parents this time had been quite different from when she’d left them to run away to Boulogne. This time she felt powerless and dependent. How could she feel otherwise, when she didn’t know what sort of place she was going to? And as for the language that she’d heard on the train, well, in no way did it resemble any English she knew. And, with Tom marching ahead of her now, she suddenly felt lonely.

  Tears had streamed down her face for most of the journey, and she certainly wasn’t up to meeting Tom’s family right now. Tom turned to look at her when she mentioned her swollen face and puffy eyes. ‘You look gorgeous, they’ll love you,’ he encouraged. ‘Come on, just under half a mile to go.’ He tried to sound positive.

  ‘Half a mile!’ she said, horrified. ‘Can’t we get an autobus?’

  ‘It’s too early in the morning for a bus.’ He smiled. ‘Come on, it won’t take long from here.’

  Tom had been very kind to her on the journey, but right now she would rather have been anywhere but here, walking along this footpath, beside this cemetery wall. She suddenly realized that this was the wall Tom had described to her, and had told her was like the one between Marck and Calais.

  ‘See?’ he said, stopping to rest for a second, and reading her mind. ‘What did I tell you? It’s like the wall in Marck, eh?’

  ‘Oui, it is,’ she lied, hardly looking up. To her, this was nothing like the cemetery wall at home. This could never be home, she thought, looking round at her dismal surroundings. Mon Dieu, what have I done?

  Maman and Papa had been wonderful to her when Francine was born at home in Marck. And afterwards they had taken their new grandchild to their hearts. Madeleine’s eyes filled with tears each time she remembered Maman giving Francine one last cuddle before they left. She’d had to avoid thinking about those last goodbyes or she would have spent the whole journey crying even harder.

  Instead, she’d thought of Dominic, and how happy he’d been lately, since meeting up again with Yvette. After he’d received that first letter from her he’d written back at once. And at the end of the first day they’d spent together he’d come home filled with joy. Since then, Yvette had been to visit the family at home, and had fitted in so perfectly that Madeleine had felt they could be good friends. But alas, she’d had to leave all her friends behind. Even though she hadn’t seen her school friends much recently, she still mourned their loss, too.

  ‘Madeleine, the quiet and sensible one … with a baby!’ they’d said, taken aback, when they first heard her news. But once they’d come to terms with the idea they’d all been excited. They’d been envious of her starting a new life with the man she loved, in a new world. They thought it incredibly romantic, and she wondered – a little sourly – if any of them would have been brave enough to do the same. There had been promises to write and to meet up, but in her heart Madeleine knew that she would probably never see them again.

  ‘Come on, pet!’ Tom’s voice broke into her thoughts. ‘You’re dawdling way behind. Is the bairn all right?’

  ‘Oui, she sleeps.’ Madeleine quickened her pace.

  ‘We’re nearly there,’ he said, stopping to rest the suitcases again. ‘Aww, just look at her,’ he said. ‘She’s like a little angel when she’s asleep.’ He gazed at his daughter with pride.

  ‘A heavy angel.’ Madeleine hitched the baby up, trying to find a more comfortable carrying position.

  Half an hour later they stood in front of the house in Glamis Terrace. Everything was quiet, and there was no one around. Tom looked at his watch. It was seven thirty. He guessed his da must have left for work, and his mam was probably in the scullery having a wash.

  ‘Here we are, pet,’ he said, looking very pleased with himself as he lowered the cases to the ground and stretched his back.

  Madeleine was so nervous she had to fight the urge to vomit. ‘Are they sleeping?’ she said. ‘We don’t wake them.’ She started to back away, desperately trying to put off the moment when she’d have to go into the house.

  ‘We can’t stand out here now, can we?’ Tom put his arm around her. As he rapped on the door Madeleine looked round at the other houses, sure that the whole street must have heard.

  When a man’s voice called from within, she held her breath.

  ‘Just a minute,’ the voice called, and after much rattling, the door was opened by a very startled-looking man.

  Francine began to murmur as he spoke.

  ‘Ay, come on in,’ he said, glancing at her shyly. ‘Yer must have been travellin’ all night ter be arrivin’ at this hour?’

  ‘Aye, Da, we have,’ Tom answered. He brought Madeleine forward. ‘Meet my wife, Da. This is Maddie. And Maddie, meet my da.’

  Jack held his hand out for a shake. Maddie didn’t take it. Instead she leaned forwar
d and kissed him on the cheek.

  ‘Well, well, well,’ he said, pleased and flustered. ‘And this’ll be little Francine, eh?’ He smiled at the sleeping bundle in Maddie’s arms.

  As they stepped inside, Tom saw Hannah standing at the bottom of the stairs, with their Rene close behind. Both looked slightly dishevelled.

  ‘Well, ah didn’t expect ter see you here, our Rene,’ he said, surprised. He was slightly put out. He’d hoped for a quiet time alone with his little family and his mam and da on the first day.

  ‘Come on, lass,’ Jack said to Hannah. ‘Get them a cup of tea made, they must be parched after that journey.’

  Rene went to do it, while Hannah walked up to Madeleine.

  ‘Eee, pet, yer must be shattered. Come and sit down,’ she said, leading her into the sitting room. ‘Oh, and look at that poor bairn! She should be in bed!’

  ‘She’ll be all right, Mam. We’ll take her to bed in a bit,’ said Tom, looking at Maddie, who so far hadn’t spoken a word.

  Rene, still in her nightie, filled the kettle and pushed it into the fire before she came over to Madeleine. ‘Hello, Maddie, I’m Rene, Tom’s sister,’ she said, smiling. ‘You’ll have to excuse us. We’re all a bit shocked. We weren’t expecting you so early.’

  Maddie spoke at last. ‘I ’ope you excuse us also. The afternoon of yesterday was the time of the boat …’ she was saying, when Jeannie, also in her nightie, appeared at the bottom of the stairs.

  ‘Oh, Mam! She talks just like Dominic,’ she said excitedly.

  For the first time Madeleine smiled. She said to Jeannie, ‘Dominic, he is my brozer. I am Maddie.’ Seeing Jeannie’s eyes on the baby she said, ‘This is Francine.’

  ‘She’s bonny,’ said Jeannie, in awe of the little bundle.

  Tom had gone off to the toilet by the time Hannah brought the mugs of hot sweet tea, and when Rene offered to take Francine to give Madeleine a chance to get her coat off and drink the tea, Maddie shook her head and held on protectively to her baby. There was no way she was going to hand her over to strangers. She was acutely aware of what seemed to be a roomful of people, all looking at her and smiling, and their awkwardness made her uneasy.

  The ticking of the clock dominated the room and she was beginning to feel herself flush with embarrassment, when suddenly Jeannie broke the ice. ‘Can ah take the baby out later on? And show her off ter me friends?’ she asked.

  Tom, who was just coming back, saw the look of horror on Maddie’s face. He stepped in quickly, ‘Not today, pet, that’s for sure. The baby’ll need to rest, you see, and get used to the place, don’t you think?’

  ‘Well …’

  Silenced for a second by a meaningful look and shake of the head from Hannah, which she understood as a warning not to say any more, Jeannie whispered quickly, ‘Will she wake up in a minute?’

  ‘She’ll wake up for her breakfast, I’ll bet.’ Tom tried to lighten the atmosphere a bit.

  ‘Well, can ah feed ’er, then?’ Jeannie asked in a louder whisper.

  Rene pulled her on to her lap and tried to explain. ‘Look, pet, they’ve just arrived, and Maddie and the baby are going to need time to get used to us and to the house, without all of us hanging around them. So we’ll stay for breakfast, then we’ll go back home to Bishop.’

  Recognizing Jeannie’s deep intake of breath as being a prelude to an objection, Rene cut in quickly, ‘There’ll be plenty more days when you can come over to help with the baby, I’m sure.’ She glanced at Madeleine for confirmation.

  Maddie nodded and smiled politely.

  Tom set about stoking up the fire while Da went out to the coalhouse to fill up the heavy aluminium bucket, and Mam busied herself in the scullery getting breakfast ready. Rene, unsure what to do, said to Tom and Maddie, ‘I’ll be in the kitchen if you want anything. We’ll give you a minute or two to get your breath, eh?’ She glanced at Tom, who nodded in appreciation.

  When Rene entered the kitchen, Hannah looked up from the eggs she was beating, and said, ‘Ah’ve come in here ter give them a bit of time. Ah don’t know what ter say ter the poor lass, she looks terrified.’

  ‘I know,’ Rene answered. ‘She’s probably really tired, and feeling totally lost at the moment.’

  Hannah nodded, adding, ‘Bye, she’s a bonny lass, though!’

  ‘Yes, she is.’ Rene smiled in agreement.

  ‘Ah can’t wait fer the bairn ter wake up. Yer can’t see her properly when her face is turned to her mam like that!’

  ‘Yes, me too, but I came away because Maddie looks so fragile, and I don’t know how to get her to relax. She’s obviously not going to hand the baby over to anybody at the moment, so there was nothing I could do to help. I thought she might be better with some time to just sit and try to acclimatize herself.’

  ‘Well,’ Hannah pointed out, ‘it’s up ter our Tom ter settle ’er in, really.’ She added, ‘Ah’m that glad you and our Jeannie came over last night instead of this morning.’

  ‘Yes,’ Rene answered, ‘so am I, as it’s turned out. Although I think as far as Maddie’s concerned it’s probably been a bit more of a houseful to face than she would have liked. So what I’ll do, Mam, is go up and change the sheets while you finish here in the kitchen.’

  ‘OK, pet, that’d be a help,’ Hannah replied. Then added as an afterthought, ‘And would yer get our Jeannie in here ter get this bread? She could be toastin’ it over the fire the while.’

  Madeleine sat by the fire, feeling unable to move. Not even when Tom crouched down in front of her, to ask if she wanted to go up to the bedroom to rest, did she move her eyes towards him. She knew that if she did anything she would cry. And she couldn’t cry again, because if she did she would never stop.

  Tom, at a bit of a loss, not ever having seen Madeleine like this before, offered to take her coat, but her response was to shake her head and pull the coat further around herself.

  Not sure how to respond, he said in as light a tone as he could muster, ‘The fire’ll be blaring away in a few minutes, and then we’ll all feel better for it, eh?’

  The corners of her mouth moved up slightly, but she didn’t answer, or look at him. Oh, she could see that his family were kind and good people. But they weren’t her people. She had left behind the only life she knew and understood, in order to live with the man who was the father of her baby, and, yes, she loved him. But did she love him enough to spend the rest of her life in a world that she neither knew or understood?

  Acutely aware of the repetitive ticking of the grandfather clock, she sat there allowing the sound to bore through her head, in this strange, brown-coloured room. She found herself wondering how many times it would have to tick before she could go home to visit her maman and papa.

  Rene came back into the room, where, shocked at the misery on Madeleine’s face, she whispered urgently to Tom, ‘You haven’t told her, have you?’

  ‘I was keeping it as a surprise for tomorrow, after she’s had time to settle herself in,’ he answered.

  ‘Well, looking at her now, I don’t think it can wait until tomorrow.’

  He glanced over at Madeleine, who was staring at the fire, her eyes swimming with unshed tears.

  ‘Maybe you’re right,’ he said anxiously. ‘Maddie!’ he shook her arm lightly, causing her to look up vacantly. ‘Maddie! I’ve got something to show you. Just sit there and I’ll be back in a second.’

  Racing upstairs, he grabbed an envelope from his bedside table, and, after quickly checking the contents, he ran back down the stairs, and, coming to rest at Madeleine’s side, he crouched down beside her and handed it to her.

  A deep frown formed on her forehead. ‘What is it?’ she asked.

  ‘Open it and see,’ he prompted with a smile.

  From the envelope she pulled out two photographs. One showed the front of a little cottage with a man peering through the doorway, and the other a garden with trees in it, and a group of people sitting under one of the tallest one
s.

  ‘I don’t understand,’ she said. ‘Who are this people?’

  ‘No, no, not the people. Forget the people. What do you see?’ Tom urged.

  ‘A house, and a garden?’ Madeleine answered, confused by his question.

  ‘It’s yours, pet. Well, what I mean is, it’s ours,’ he corrected.

  ‘Ours …? The house? You mean this house is for you and me?’ she exclaimed.

  Tom nodded, looking mightily pleased with himself.

  ‘Oh, mon Dieu!’ She clapped her hand over her mouth, then asked, ‘Why did you not tell me, Tom?’

  ‘I planned to take you there tomorrow, as a surprise, but you looked so sad that I had to tell you now.’

  Madeleine sat there, saying nothing, but her mind was working very fast. How could she have doubted whether she loved this man enough? This man who had done this thing for her, this huge thing, which she knew must be well beyond his means. She had no idea how he’d done it, but he had, and she had no doubt that he’d have to work long hours to afford it. But he’d done it for her.

  Tom, concerned about Madeleine’s continuing silence, tried to encourage her by saying, ‘Ah know it’s a bit run down, but it will be lovely when we’ve finished decorating it. I thought we could do it together, bit by bit, and Mam is happy for us to stay with her until it’s done. Come on, pet, we’ll manage till then, and we’ll have fun choosing the wallpaper and all that, won’t we?’

  Madeleine knew then that, no matter what lay ahead, if this husband of hers, who she loved more than ever before, had found a way, against all the odds, to make this huge gesture to her, then she was damned well going to find a way to make a new life here in England with him.

  She looked up at the family. Rene and Jack stood side by side, Jeannie and Hannah held hands, waiting and wondering.

  As an answer, Maddie stood up, gently handed Francine to Rene, and threw her arms around Tom, before, unashamedly, kissing him hard on the mouth. The only sound in the room was Jeannie’s embarrassed exclamation, ‘Eee, Gran!’