A Dose of Danger (Risky Research)

by Kim McMahill

  She had few friends, and those she had never gossiped, which only fueled folks’ curiosity, making her a frequent topic of conversation. He’d heard she was antisocial, cold, career-driven, and unapproachable, but fiercely dedicated to her uncle. From what he’d seen so far, her love of family was the only descriptor that fit, and he had witnessed a much softer and more vulnerable side to the area’s “ice queen.”

  “No,” Moss finally replied, distantly, as if his mind had wandered to another time and place. “There was a car accident when she was a teenager. Her mother didn’t make it, and my brother, John, died about a week later from injuries sustained in the accident.”

  “I’m sorry. I bet it was tough on both of you.”

  Moss shrugged his shoulders and lapsed into silence, which made Logan even more curious about her parents and her past, but he decided this wasn’t the time to pry. Both men sat for a long time, absorbed in their thoughts and consumed by worry for Grace. As Logan stood, unable to tolerate the lack of news any longer, the door opened, and she was wheeled in by the doctor.

  “Seems she just fainted,” the doctor offered. “But we took some blood samples and we’re running a few tests to be sure. I told her she could come back in here and keep you company for a while. Just make sure she stays in the chair and don’t let her leave until I check her again. I’m sure everything that’s happened has been very traumatic on her. She’s probably been worrying herself sick over Moss, and hasn’t been sleeping or eating properly.”

  “She ate a big breakfast this morning,” Logan interjected.

  Moss and the doctor glanced at each other, and then from Grace to Logan with surprised expressions on their faces. It took her a moment to understand what was going through their minds.

  “Oh please, Moss, you know me better than that. The doctor’s correct that I haven’t slept well, which is why I already had the chores done and breakfast made by the time Logan came by to pick me up this morning. I miss making those big breakfasts for you and Butch. Sitting around the table with you two, planning the day, and discussing politics and the weather are some of my happiest memories.”

  “I didn’t say a word,” Moss replied.

  Grace glanced over at Logan, and his expression gave away his embarrassment which she found a bit endearing. Her heart ached with the realization the scenario the doctor and Moss briefly suspected would likely never come to fruition when he learned the truth. She prided herself on being strong, and she had never fainted in her life, but the belief this tragedy was all her fault had been too much to bear. She wouldn’t burden her uncle with the truth until he was stronger, but she saw no way to avoid telling Logan everything. For now, Grace wanted desperately to change the subject.

  “How’s Moss doing, and how soon can I take him home, Doctor?”

  “I’m ready now,” Moss broke in. “The sooner you cut me lose, the sooner I can do something more useful than lying around here taking up a bed needed by a truly sick person.”

  The doctor ignored the comment and returned his focus to Grace. “There’s no reason he shouldn’t fully recover, but I plan to keep him here at least a few more days. He has a number of second degree burns. If he hadn’t had a coat on, the burns would have been deeper, but the problem has been dealing with the synthetic fabrics which melded with the skin. My biggest concern though, is the concussion he suffered from a blow to the head. We’re also keeping a close watch on his lungs, since he inhaled a lot of smoke. When I’m more confident he won’t develop pneumonia or any other infections, I’ll send him home.”

  Grace, Logan, and Moss exchanged knowing looks at the mention of the head injury. The doctor didn’t notice as he continued to read Moss’s chart. When he was done, he reminded Grace to stay seated, drink some juice, get something to eat, and to not leave the hospital until he came back at the end of his rounds to check on her.

  She nodded, thanked him, and watched until his white coat disappeared out the door. Looking over her shoulder at Logan, she saw the concerned look on his face and was touched. She didn’t think there was another person left in the world, other than Moss, who would care about her well-being, but clearly he did. She smiled the most reassuring smile she could muster, wanting to put his mind at ease.

  “Logan, would you mind giving us a few moments alone?”

  “Sure, I’ll go get you some juice and something to nibble on until we can go get a proper lunch.”

  Grace gazed at her uncle for a minute. He looked like he was tiring, and she didn’t want to make matters worse by adding to his stress, but knew he would want to know about the ranch and Butch.

  “We can’t stay much longer since we have a couple of errands to run, and I’d like to be back at the ranch before dark to do chores, but I’m sure you’re wondering about things.”

  He nodded and took her hand.

  “I got to the ranch within twenty-four hours of the call, so the animals hadn’t gone too long without food, and they’re all in good shape. Actually, when I pulled up, Logan had just started feeding, and he had already taken care of the dogs. It was nice to have someone to help since the cattle were hugging the gate, and I was pretty exhausted by that point due to the terrible road conditions.

  “I contacted the insurance company to get the ball rolling, and the Hickman brothers are preparing the site to rebuild the barn as we speak. I’ll make some calls tomorrow and see if I can find some better quality hay for the horses to replace what burned up, which won’t be easy this time of year.

  “With Logan’s help I’ve already replaced the chicken feed, cat food, pig feed, and grain. Other than the horses’ hay, I’m pretty stocked up. If we get the predicted snow, we’ll be fine, so there’s no need for you to worry about anything at the ranch.”

  “I’m not worried about the ranch, but I am concerned about you. I hate that you have to go through all this. I bet it wasn’t easy getting away from work. Speaking of work, I’m real sorry about the project. The feeding and weight logs are in my desk, bottom drawer toward the back in a file labeled Charlotte. I hadn’t weighed her or given her the supplements the day the fire broke out, so she’s missing a full day of supplements. I hope that doesn’t mess up your project too much.”

  Grace couldn’t believe he was worried about her work with all he had lost, and the guilt threatened her ability to keep up pretenses. For now, she had to fight it, smile, and put the best spin possible on the events.

  “My boss was very understanding, and he authorized me to telecommute as long as I need to, so once you’re released I’ll stay until you’re back on your feet. Probably forever, since I’ll likely get fired. If you hadn’t moved Charlotte out of the barn, it would have been a much greater setback. Only one supplement was missed since I gave her one when I arrived, and the data loss is insignificant. If the feeding schedule was maintained, I consider the disruption to the project to be minimal, so thank you for your foresight.”

  “Yep, we were on schedule, and I remember noticing there has been no change in her weight since the last email I sent…seems she’s leveled off.”

  Grace processed the information. Charlotte had slowly and steadily lost weight for the past seven months, starting three weeks from the onset of the enzyme supplement program, but her weight had leveled off over the past week. She wondered if it had to do with the winter weather or if she was witnessing an end to the product’s effectiveness.

  “Did you happen to look into any arrangements for—”

  The old man’s voice cracked, and Grace lamented the pain and guilt she saw in his expression, especially knowing all the blame rested on her.

  “I know he has no family, and I wasn’t sure how long you would be here, so I went ahead and made arrangements. I thought he would want to be cremated and returned to the ranch, since his wife was scattered there when she passed away. This spring, when the meadows are green and the mountains are at their stunning best, we’ll pick a nice spot near where he spread Evelyn’s ashes. I’m sure there
are others in the valley who will want to say their goodbyes as well. Butch was a wonderful man, and he’ll be missed by everyone, especially you and me.”

  Moss nodded and closed his eyes. He was clearly tired and needed sleep, but she knew he would fight to stay awake as long as she remained. Logan still wasn’t back, but if she wheeled herself out of the room and didn’t get out of the chair, she doubted he or the doctor would scold her too much.

  “You know I love you, right?” Grace asked as she prepared to leave.

  The old man nodded and forced a weak smile. “I love you, too, and I’m so sorry for everything. I tried to do right by you, but I can be a coward. I just wanted to protect you, but maybe I was just being selfish.”

  “You have nothing to ever be sorry for. You have never been a coward about anything in your life, and you are the most generous and giving person in the world. You are the strongest man I know, and you’ve stood behind me and propped me up when those who should have supported me ran away.”

  “You deserved so much more, but let’s not talk about it now. I’m just happy you’re here, and I’m resting better knowing you’ve got the ranch under control. You’ve always been mature beyond your years and so responsible. I’ve admired and relied on those traits, essential to animal caregivers, but I should have encouraged you to have more fun instead of working so hard. You should have played more with other kids growing up, gone to Florida for Spring Break instead of staying home and helping me calve, and dated young men instead of hanging out with two old geezers.”

  Moss’s words about her deserving more confused her. Maybe it’s just the pain killers talking, Grace thought as she smiled and squeezed his hand. He’s given me everything.

  “I have no regrets, so neither should you. No girl could have ever hoped for a better childhood, but enough of that silly talk. I assume you’ll be okay if I don’t come back until I pick you up once you’re discharged? I’ll call every day, and come if you need me, but there’s so much to do at the ranch, as you know, and it’s quite a drive in the winter.”

  “Of course I don’t want you making the trip any more than necessary. Right now you’re doing the work of two men, and I appreciate it. I don’t know what I would do without you. We need to hire someone, but that won’t be easy in the middle of winter. The only person I can think of is Bob Johnson’s boy. He’s a big, strong kid, though I’m sure he’s plenty busy with school and their own ranch.”

  “If I get desperate, Harold and Red indicated they didn’t have anything else going on, so I’m sure I could hire one of them to help out, but I’d rather not take them away from rebuilding the barn. The weather reports indicate the storms are going to keep rolling in and the almanac claims we’re in for a late spring.”

  Moss nodded. “You made a good decision. Even a normal winter is harsh in the mountains, and if Murphy’s Law holds true, we’ll be calving earlier than usual. You can’t do everything yourself, so if you need to pay one of those boys to help, the barn will just have to wait. You’re on all the ranch accounts, and the checkbook is in my desk, so do whatever needs done.”

  Grace looked away, fighting her troubled emotions. If the insurance company denies the claim, how can I let Moss pay to rebuild something he lost because of me?

  “Well, I’m ashamed to admit I’ve let Logan help more than I should. Haying cattle probably isn’t in his job description. I’m getting on top of the work now, and I can handle things by myself until you’re back on your feet. Then we’ll decide what to do. I plan to give Logan the boot so he can get back to focusing on the investigation and the rest of his job.”

  “Don’t be too hasty. He’s a good man.”

  Grace ignored his comment and placed a kiss on the back of the old man’s hand. The quick peck didn’t seem adequate, but she figured he might scold her if she got out of her chair to kiss his cheek.

  “I have to go now, but please rest and be a good patient. I know this is tough for you, but the better you follow orders and take care of yourself, the sooner I can bring you home where you belong.”

  “Tough talk from the girl in the wheelchair.”

  “It was just the culmination of everything that’s happened over the past few days and lack of sleep. You and Butch are the two most important people in my life. Losing him and worrying about you probably took a bigger toll on me than I wanted to admit. You raised me to be strong and sensible, and I’m just trying to do what you would do.”

  “That’s why girls need mothers. Obviously, I left out a big part of your upbringing.”

  Grace laughed and squeezed his hand. “If you mean the frilly, touchy-feely part, well, thank you for the omission. Now, I’ll be fine, so no worrying about me. See how I am following doctor’s orders and keeping my behind in this chair? If I don’t obey, the doctor will keep me here, and I’ve got chores to do when I get home.”

  He chuckled, but it wasn’t bold like she was used to, and pain clenched at her heart. This was her fault, but at the moment she had to accept the guilt and stay strong for her uncle and for all the animals depending on her for their next meal. There would be plenty of time to punish herself.

  She would for the rest of her life.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Janice glanced at the clock on the wall from her vantage point sitting behind her desk. It read four forty-five, yet Dr. Clark still hadn’t shown up for his standing four o’clock briefing. She snatched up her phone and dialed the lab. After six rings his voicemail picked up, instructing the caller to leave a message.

  She wasn’t sure whether his absence made her more nervous or more angry. Just the thought of going back down into the lab made her pulse speed up. She hated dark, windowless places. They made her feel confined and brought back unpleasant memories from her childhood. Eighties rock and roll filled her head and the smell of smoke made her cough, even though this corner of the office building was silent, and the air was clean. She knew the sounds and smells weren’t real, but she couldn’t push either out of her mind as panic began welling in her chest.

  Janice rose and walked over to the window. She looked out at the darkening sky. Not only was the cloud cover thick, but the days were still short, though getting imperceptibly longer as they inched toward spring. She yearned to resume the role she had carved out for herself, one of an influential woman of considerable means. She enjoyed the luxuries her success had bought, but lately she felt as if she had stepped back in time at least a decade. She knew the situation was temporary, but that didn’t calm her desire to leave it all behind.

  “Excuse me, Ms. Green. I’ll be going home in a few minutes. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

  Janice looked at her executive assistant for a moment. She didn’t particularly care for the woman, but the employee was obedient. She carried out any task with no questions asked, and was clearly used to, and comfortable with, taking orders, which Janice just couldn’t understand. Maybe that’s what was really bothering her over the past few days. This job seemed to be the first in a long time where she felt control slipping from her fingers. She hated not being in charge of every aspect of her life, and she especially disliked taking orders, but that would have to be remedied another time.

  After the latest reported failure, she felt a stronger than ever need to be kept apprised of progress on all fronts. If something had changed, which prevented Dr. Clark from keeping his appointment, she needed to know immediately. He wasn’t the type to disobey orders, and he was too brilliant to claim he forgot.

  “Yes. Dr. Clark missed our four o’clock meeting. I just called his office, but received no answer. I’d like you to go to his office and see if he’s in the lab and perhaps lost track of time.”

  The woman hustled out of Janice’s office without complaint. Not wanting to stay any later than necessary, Janice checked her e-mail one last time for the day, backed up her files, logged off her computer, and placed several files in her handbag to read at her apartment. By the time she was ready to
leave, her assistant returned.

  “Ms. Green?”

  “Did you find Dr. Clark?”

  “No, the lab is dark, and everyone has gone for the evening. Dr. Clark’s office is locked, and there didn’t appear to be any lights on inside, so I have to assume he’s gone home as well.”

  “Thank you. That will be all.”

  “Yes, ma’am. Goodnight.” Janice’s assistant turned and walked out the door.

  The missed briefing only added to Janice’s misgivings. Too much had already gone wrong, and she couldn’t help but feel it was time to cut her losses. She retrieved a duffle from her bottom desk drawer, and inside the bag, she placed the few personal items she had brought to make the office look permanent, along with anything else which had ties to her.

  She slipped on her lightweight business jacket and pulled on her tight-fitting, elegant black gloves. Retrieving a dust rag from the duffle, she wiped down all the surfaces in her office, locked the door behind her, and headed for the stairwell to avoid the cameras in the elevator.

  Several blocks from her building, Janice slipped her long coat over her thin jacket, tied a scarf around her head as she did every evening, and headed back to her apartment for the last time.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Logan drove straight to a nice, quiet restaurant after they left the hospital. He parked the truck and looked over at Grace.

  “We really don’t need to go to a full service restaurant. It will take a lot of time, and we still have errands to run and a long drive home,” Grace argued.

  “After your collapse at the hospital, I think it’s important to have a nice, slow meal. Besides, I’m not a huge fast food fan.”

  “Well, since you have the keys, I guess you’re in charge,” she replied with a smile.

  She attempted to appreciate the tasty dish in front of her and the excellent company, but her mind refused to leave all the tragedy behind. As she watched Logan across the table, the fear of losing him rendered her nearly speechless. I don’t have him. So how can I lose him? Grace chastised herself for her unrealistic thoughts.