by Clare Lydon
I nodded solemnly but avoided her gaze. “Thanks,” I mumbled.
“You’re welcome.” Definite sarcasm. She shook her head again.
“I do need to know, though – was it what you said? Because I’d like to think so. But Lucy’s a good mate and I don’t want to see her pulled into some mindfuck shit. But I told her you’re genuine. Am I right?”
This time I met her gaze.
“Totally. I really want this to happen and Brighton was... A stupid mistake.”
Caroline took it in with a slow nod.
“She’s upset but she also really likes you. She told me about yesterday, in her shop.”
I kicked the pavement and took a gulp of air.
Caroline continued. “All I’m saying is that Lucy is a brilliant girl. Honest, caring, gorgeous…”
“I know…”
Caroline touched my arm. “Let me finish. She’s a babe. And if you’re being truthful and you’re not going to lead her on, then I’ll put in a word for you.” She paused. “So are you?”
“Being truthful? I told you, yes. And I told Lucy, too.” I sighed. “I hope you can persuade her.” I gave her a defeated smile.
“I think you did a good job yesterday judging by what she told me last night. But I’ll nudge her further along with a call later.” She returned a sad smile.
“Thanks,” I said.
She leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
“Take care. Might see you around sometime.”
I nodded and watched her walk away.
I ground my way through the lunch rush and sank tiredly into my chair with my soup and tea at around 3pm. I’d been constantly checking the door willing Lucy to walk through it but even I knew that wasn’t wise.
Conversely, Natalie did walk in for Matt and he took her and her son to a table where he charmed her with coffee and him with cake. He also did that trick where you make a coin disappear behind your ear. I was impressed and so was Natalie.
She stayed for just over half an hour, just on her way home from the school run and clearly smitten with Matt, judging from the number of hair flicks and giggles she threw him. They made me smile and feel rueful all in one go, quite some feat. Still, at least I’d had no text telling me to bugger off, which had to count for something.
I left Matt to lock up and went home: I needed a shower and change before meeting Jack to watch Liverpool’s must-win Champions League match. Even though my brother was a West Ham fan, I’m sure he wouldn’t begrudge me that. With perhaps a tiny moan.
Jack walked into the Blue Moon pub at 7pm. It was filled with a mix of hipsters and suits, clearly suffering a personality crisis for all to see. It was a traditional pub with dark wooden furniture, the obligatory brick-red patterned carpet and a scattering of odd memorabilia. It was as if someone had come back from a car-boot sale and thrown their swag in the air, leaving it wherever it randomly landed. I’d nabbed a table on the far side of the bar.
Jack was wearing a navy blue suit, black shoes, cream shirt and a gold tie. His dark hair was in need of a cut and he was cultivating a splattering of grey at his temples. He took a couple of moments to spot me and smiled when he did, walking over to the table and hugging me hello.
“I’m not late, am I?” he said, checking his watch.
“Nope, bang on time.”
“Cool. Drink?”
“I’m okay,” I said, indicating my pint. “Do you want food?”
Jack gave me a look of disdain.
“Eating’s cheating,” he said. He went to the bar to get his drink and returned quickly with a pint of Guinness. He took off his jacket, threw it on the bench beside me, loosened his tie and sat down on the chair opposite.
“Nice day at the office, darling?” I said.
“As usual. Exciting day in brokering.”
“To what do I owe this honour then?”
“Honour?” He looked perplexed.
“I’ve been home nearly nine months and we haven’t had a drink in that time.”
He shrugged. “We… I mean I… I dunno. I just thought it would be good to have a drink. Catch up, just us two.”
I touched his arm. “I appreciate the thought.”
“So how was your day?” He sat back in his chair and loosened his tie a little more.
“You know, coffee, cake, sandwiches. The usual. My entire workforce is loved up so that’s a bit of a challenge but apart from that.”
He gave me a quizzical look.
“Hang on, so were you last time I saw you.”
“Long time ago.”
“Just over a week.”
I nodded.
“So what happened?”
I filled him in on the sorry details of the weekend, Jack swigging his pint, jaw slack, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. I told him about the optician showdown and he shook his head.
“Makes me glad to be married. I don’t have to go through any of this shit again.”
“You are lucky, believe me,” I said. “Your wife’s beautiful and sane, two qualities that don’t often go together in one woman.”
“Not sure about the sane part…”
“Talking of your lovely wife, how is she? And the boys?”
“All good. Luke is loving nursery and Freddie is roaming the house smashing everything in his path. You couldn’t get two more different characters if you tried.”
“Cute though,” I said.
“Very. But also like a mini demolition firm you never hired. As for Vic, she’s good so yeah, can’t complain. Sometimes my life seems complicated but not half as complicated as yours…” He gave me a brotherly grin.
“I know. I really want to give this a shot and also I want her to come to Julia’s wedding with me.”
My brother gave me another quizzical look.
“You want Lucy to go to the wedding with you?”
“I do.”
“Well you can’t take her if Ange is there. You wouldn’t want to go if the woman you caught your girlfriend kissing a couple of weeks earlier was there too, would you?”
He was looking at me incredulously and I realised he was right. There was no way I could take Lucy to the wedding and there was also no way I could go alone, as Ange would be there and I didn’t want to lie to Lucy.
“You have to get Julia to un-invite this lunatic,” Jack said. For once, he’d hit the nail on the head.
“This lunatic happens to be her work colleague though.”
“So? You’re one of her oldest friends. Tell her to lose the invite in the post. You can’t take both of them to the wedding.”
“I wasn’t planning on taking both of them.”
Jack made a face at me. “You know what I mean.”
And I did know exactly what he meant. In all my haste of trying to win Lucy back I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought about this obvious fact. I pushed it to the back of my mind for now though and decided to deal with it later.
We chatted on and Jack got up to get us two more beers just before the match kicked off. The Lucy thing was still whirring round my brain and I wasn’t focusing, so when someone said my name, I jumped. It was Lucy.
“Hi,” she said. It was only two letters but it sounded delicious coming out of her mouth.
“Hi – what are you doing here?”
She’d caught me unawares but she looked delectable as usual, in a summery beige trouser suit with a crisp white shirt that gleamed.
“I’m here with some people from work. Leaving do...” she said. She motioned over her shoulder to a table with two women and a man, one of the women I recognised as being receptionist Nicola. She was wearing the same green shirt I noticed, unless she’d decided green was her colour and bought more than one.
“Right,” I said. “You look amazing. How are you?”
She looked me directly in the eye.
“Feeling a bit better today thanks.” She paused. “What about you?” she said, seeing two pint glasses on the table. I realised she m
ight think I was here on a date and hastened my reply.
“I’m here with my brother, he works around here. Just catching up,” I said. I pointed towards Jack who’d just begun heading back to our table. He put the drinks down, along with the two bags of crisps he’d also bought – “Dinner” – and smiled at Lucy.
“Hi, I’m Lucy,” she said, holding out her hand before I had a chance to make introductions. Jack’s eyes widened ever so slightly but he did well not to react.
“Jack, nice to meet you.”
“You too,” she said.
“Is this your local, too?”
She flashed him a gorgeous smile and I felt inordinately proud.
“One of many. I work locally and we like to spread our trade around.”
“Keeps them on their toes.”
Jack and Lucy ran out of smalltalk and there was a pregnant pause.
“Well, I’d better get back, I was meant to be buying the drinks. Nice to meet you,” she said to Jack to which he nodded. She turned, then stopped and turned back.
“Oh and by the way.”
I looked up expectantly. “Yeah?”
“See you Saturday. Let me know when and where.”
It took me a few seconds to register what she’d just said.
“Really? You’re coming?” I said. I was unable to stop a relieved smile spreading across my face.
She nodded slowly.
“I’ll drop you a text tomorrow,” I said.
“Great.”
With that, she flashed me a shy smile before walking to the bar while I sat back, grinning. See you Saturday. She was going to see me Saturday. Jack looked like he was about to high-five me but I stopped him. Neither of us could stop smiling, though.
“So that’s Lucy. I can see the appeal,” he said. “Nice work.”
I scowled at him and he held his hands up in defence.
“I’m just saying she’s good-looking and seems nice. That’s a positive thing to say about your sister’s new girlfriend, isn’t it?”
“Let’s not jump the gun.”
“She said she’s seeing you Saturday, which means unless you spectacularly fuck that up, I think it’s back on. And she clearly wants to continue now that she knows what a gorgeous brother you have.”
“Ha ha.”
“Just get Julia to lose the other wedding invite and I predict a long and happy life for you both. Otherwise, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
The Champions League music began on the telly opposite us.
“Shut up and let’s watch the game,” I said. He shook his head but dutifully turned his chair around.
“This doesn’t have to be difficult sis, so don’t make it difficult. She likes you, you like her, simple.”
“Oh look, it’s the football,” I said. He shook his head and settled back in his chair, stretching out his long legs in front of him.
Chapter 26
The following day my head felt like it had been burgled, thanks to the five pints Jack and I had consumed the previous evening. Matt knew this and so insisted on having the radio on at high volume in the kitchen as he was putting together the day’s specials. I left him to his own devices, preferring to deal with the customers and their breakfast orders.
We made it through the morning rush and I relented and had my third coffee of the day and a bacon sandwich, which perked me up considerably. I was just about recovering near the end of lunch – but even at 2pm the queue was still out the door – when my mum arrived. She gave me a little wave, bypassed the queue and came to the end of the counter where we served the coffees.
“I’ll have a tea and a sandwich when you’re ready,” she trilled, taking up a window stool and stowing her bags on the hooks provided underneath the ledge. She was dressed in traditional summer wear, no doubt bolstering M&S’s coffers into the bargain.
“Bit busy,” I said. I served some salmon and oriental salad to an anxious-looking woman in her mid-twenties.
“No rush!” Mum called back. She produced a Daily Mail from her bag and waved at Matt, who waved back. It took half an hour for the queue to die down and for Matt to give me the green light to take a break, not that Mum seemed to mind.
“Catching up on the world’s happenings,” she said. As she folded her paper in two I put two paninis and our drinks on the window bench, then undid my apron. I was sweaty after a busy morning and I saw her giving me a once-over. She’d have to lump it: I wasn’t in the mood.
“You should have called, you know we’re still busy at lunchtime,” I said. She flapped her hand at me, in a ‘don’t be stupid’ gesture.
“It’s fine. Anyway, no rush – thought I’d come and say hello before going home. I had a coffee and a doughnut to tide me over earlier in Marks so I wasn’t famished.” She was in a cheery mood.
“So did you get anything exciting?” I said.
“Some tops. Did I tell you me and your dad are going to Mexico?”
I shook my head.
“Saw an advert in the paper and thought, why not, we’ve never been. So I thought I’d pick up some things. Got your dad some new shorts, too.”
I nodded, glad of the chance to sit and listen, chewing my food. My hangover was still lingering around the edges of my brain, curling it upwards slightly.
“I did have another reason for stopping by,” Mum said. She glanced around the café to check if anyone else was listening and I braced myself. Either somebody was dying or she was going to mention something to do with my sexuality, I knew the signs. Change of breathing, slight uncomfortable stance, dry throat in constant need of clearing. True to form, she cleared her throat and shifted in her seat.
“I was thinking that you could invite your friend around for the barbecue we’re having.”
She said it in almost a whisper.
“Barbecue?” I said, stalling and giving my brain time to take in this information.
“Day after Julia’s wedding, it’s meant to be a nice day. So I thought me and your dad, Jack, Vicky and the boys, you and your friend.”
“Lucy.”
“Yes, Lucy. The whole family.” She smoothed out her trousers and smiled at me.
I didn’t know what to say. I could see this was a major step for Mum and she was trying desperately to make it all sound normal. She wasn’t even raising her pitch too much, which surely deserved a small round of applause. And how else were things meant to move forward if I didn’t try to meet her halfway, to normalise the situation for both of us?
“That’d be great, Mum,” I said. I took a sip of my coffee and held her eye contact. She smiled again. Now I just had to make sure Lucy was still my girlfriend following Julia’s wedding. Should be easy.
“Super,” she said, relieved. She studied my face a little harder.
“You look tired. Everything okay?”
“Fine. Blame Jack.”
“Jack?”
“Dragged me out for drinks last night and I’ve only just recovered. It’s been a long, slow morning shall we say.”
Mum laughed. “I won’t feel sorry for you then, serves you right.”
Her face contorted slightly and she went back into serious mode. I wondered what else she had to say and braced myself mentally.
“I don’t want this to be a one-off either,” she said.
I scrunched up my forehead as a question, my mouth too full to do anything else.
“You bringing Lucy to ours. I want…” She paused. “I want you to feel you can bring her anytime. If she’s your partner then she’s welcome.”
I felt myself welling up. Mum put her hand on my arm as if she knew, or perhaps she was feeling the same and needed to steady herself and her thoughts. If she was feeling as nervous as me, she was doing an incredible job of covering it up.
“I don’t want to be shut out of your life anymore and I don’t want you running off to Australia again. I want… I want us to be a family.”
I didn’t know what to say. So I put down my panini and h
ugged her. In return, she squeezed me tight right back.
“Thanks Mum, really,” I said. “It means a lot. I’ll definitely ask Lucy.”
I kissed her cheek and sat back down in my chair. Her face was flushed red and I could see the fair hairs on her cheeks, her face a little more crinkled than it was five years ago. My mum was getting older but she was still learning, still trying to live her life outside the brackets, no matter how much safety they afforded her. I beamed proudly at her and she smiled back. We’d shared a moment and it wasn’t something I thought would ever happen, never mind when I woke up so hungover this morning.
“Shall I get us some cake?” I said.
Mum nodded enthusiastically.
“Another tea would be lovely too.”
Later that day I texted Lucy to confirm our date tomorrow, telling her to meet me at Athena for a drink in town first. She texted straight back to say she was looking forward to it. I smiled at my phone and pictured her in her opticians, all slick and professional. Then I pictured her naked in my bed and found I had to walk at a slightly quicker pace.
I shook my head at myself as I ambled along: whatever the state of play in my personal life, my libido had never deserted me. Julia had often commented that I had many of the attributes of a straight man: “Their sole topic of conversation is how much they’re getting and what’s the score.” I told her that was a little harsh, but thinking about it now, what else was there apart from food?
By texting straight back though, Lucy was being true to her word that she wasn’t a player. Now I just had to prove to her I wasn’t either, but I had some catching up to do. I’d booked into a Michelin-starred restaurant in town called Hexagon that Julia had recommended: “divine lamb” apparently. I was planning to open the night with bubbles at the super-swanky Daphne’s, a champagne bar awash with velvet and glamour. She didn’t know it yet, but Athena was a diversion tactic.
Sweeping Lucy off her feet was the plan: I’d run it by Kate and Julia and both had agreed it would work for them. Julia had even offered herself for a trial run, but reneged when I told her it would mean she’d have to put out.
As it was still just after 5pm and another hot, sunny day, my plan was to walk along the canal, meet Adam for a drink after work in the sun and then get home early for my beauty sleep for the next day. D-day was nearly here.