Blame it on the Stars (The Blame Game)

by Hill, Jamie

  Steve had settled back into his chair, and was listening intently.

  “One of the guys started noticing me. It was just kidding around mostly at first. But then we started dating. My father hated the idea. My mom died when I was nine, so I pretty much got to do whatever I wanted. But daddy thought Nick looked like a hood with his long hair and black leather jacket.”

  “Nick, is he Craig’s roommate?”

  She nodded, and continued, “Things got pretty serious. Daddy tried to keep us apart, but we snuck around a lot. Craig covered for us. It was exciting and romantic for a fourteen-year-old girl, and he taught me a lot of things.”

  “About love?” Steve sneered sarcastically.

  “Yeah, about love,” she snapped back. “I loved him. We loved each other.”

  “Jesus, Catlin, you were fourteen! What could you know about love?” He looked at her. “Were you having sex with him?”

  “Now begins the passing judgment.”

  He shook his head. “I simply can’t believe a person is ready to have sex at fourteen.”

  “Well, ready or not, we did it. We did it a lot, if you want the whole truth.”

  He closed his eyes. “Not sure I needed to know that.”

  “Well, you do need to know this. He got me pregnant. I was fifteen, pregnant, and Nick and Craig were living in Kansas City by that time.”

  Steve looked her in the eyes. “Oh, Jesus.”

  “Yeah. The day they moved away was one of the worst days of my life. Craig and I were so close, and I loved Nick, I couldn’t imagine losing them both. I figured they’d go off to the big city and forget all about me. Well, they didn’t forget about me. It wasn’t long after they left that I found out I was pregnant.”

  “Oh, Jesus.” Steve repeated, but his tone had mellowed.

  “Yeah. I called Craig, and he brought Nick home. We sat down with daddy to discuss all the options. God, it was awful! Nick was yelling at daddy. Daddy was yelling at everybody. Craig thought I should have an abortion. Daddy wouldn’t consider that. Nick wanted to take me off to Kansas City and raise the baby together, but daddy wouldn’t hear of that, either. I wanted to give the baby up for adoption, but nobody seemed to like that idea. We yelled at each other for hours before I finally announced that it was my decision, and I was going to do the adoption.” Catlin looked out the window. “I have never seen Nick as mad as he was that day. He punched a hole in our living room wall before he stormed out of the house. If looks could kill, well, I’d have been dead. And Craig, well, Craig and Nick are two of a kind. What one does the other does. Craig left, too.”

  “What happened?” Steve asked softly.

  “I never saw Nick again. I had the baby, and they took him away. I never looked at him, or held him. He was just gone. It wasn’t until I started asking after the adoption papers that I learned there was to be no adoption. Nick had taken the baby, and was going to raise him.”

  Steve’s eyes grew wide. “Nick’s son—?”

  Catlin nodded. “My son. Nick and his parents raised him. I was so mad that Nick had done that behind my back, and Craig had helped him. I wanted to forget all about that baby and get on with my life, but I knew that I would never be able to, because of Nick and Craig. Jesus, Steve, can you imagine how I felt? I was barely sixteen when he was born. Dana’s age.”

  Steve closed his eyes. “My God,” he whispered.

  “Yeah. And I hadn’t seen or talked to any of them for almost ten years, until last weekend.”

  “When I arranged it.”

  She nodded.

  “Christian, that was his name, wasn’t it? Your son.”

  “Yeah.” She smiled. “Nick called me.” She lied a little about that. “He said I needed to meet my son. Craig and he did their damnedest to talk me into it.” She stood up and paced around. “I really didn’t want to, and I told them that. I mean, I am so happy, I just didn’t think I needed this in my life right now.” She looked down. “But I couldn’t get him out of my mind, Steve. I tried, I tried so hard. But all I did was make myself sick. I got physically sick worrying about what to do.”

  Steve stood up in front of her. “Why didn’t you talk to me about this? You have to start trusting me sometime.”

  “Don’t you see that I couldn’t? I have never talked about this with anyone. Jetta is my best friend, and she thinks we have no secrets. Well, we do, this one.”

  “I think I understand, Catlin. So tell me, did you meet him?”

  She allowed the smile from deep inside her to creep across her face. “Yeah. Oh my God, Steve! He’s wonderful. He’s smart, and funny, and he called me ‘mommy’. He cried when I said I was leaving. He literally sobbed at my knees. It was a horrible feeling, and it was a wonderful feeling. Does that make any sense?”

  “Yes, it does.” Steve pulled her into his arms. “It sounds like love.”

  Catlin was sobbing into Steve’s shirt now. “I do love him! I wouldn’t have believed a few days ago that it was possible for me to meet him and fall in love with him in a matter of hours. But when it’s your child, when you can look in his face and see yourself, oh... I’ve never felt anything like that before.”

  Steve smiled at her. “When a baby is born, you go through those same emotions. He’s a red, wrinkled, slimy little blob, and he’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. Do you think if you would have seen him after he was born, that you would have wanted to keep him?”

  She shook her head. “I don’t know. Maybe. But deep down, I still believe I did the right thing. Yeah, I have some regrets now, but I can’t imagine my life if I had become a mother at sixteen.”

  “You wouldn’t be standing here with me right now.”

  She hesitated. “So, is standing here with you right now temporary, or a permanent thing?”

  He pulled her close to him. “It’s a very permanent thing. Dammit, I hate it when you lie to me. But I hope we’re almost through with the secrets.”

  “I guess I should tell you then, Nick is bringing him here this weekend. He’ll drop him off Friday night, and I’ll take him home Sunday. Then Nick and I are going to work out visitation.”

  Steve sighed, and nodded. “That complicates our lives a little more, doesn’t it?”

  “It’s what I want, Steve.” She looked at him.

  “Did you consider including me in any of the decisions? It’s going to affect my life tremendously.”

  “No, I didn’t. Do you want to be part of this? Because if you’re not with me you’re against me.”

  “I’m with you. And I’m consulting you about the decisions I make now. So please remember to try and do the same.”

  She hugged his chest. “God, life has complications.”

  He laughed. “I seem to recall your telling me that life with you was not going to be easy.”

  She grinned. “But I said something about fun, right?” On a more serious note, she asked, “So are we okay? I hate it when you’re mad at me.”

  He gazed into her eyes. “Is this the end of the surprises? Because I’m not sure I can handle any more.”

  She nodded.

  “And you’re feeling better?”

  She nodded again.

  He swept her up into his arms, and carried her to the bedroom. When he looked down, he spotted her suitcases blocking the entrance. “Shit.”

  She laughed. “That’s what you get for not helping me carry them in.”

  “I had myself worked up pretty good there for a while,” he admitted, and kicked one bag with his foot until he could get around it. He laid her on the bed. “I missed you.”

  “I missed you too, very much.” She clutched at his shirt until it came untucked. She ran her hands up under it, and over his bare chest.

  He was freeing her of her clothes at the same time. They made love frantically, as if they were racing against a clock. Afterward, Catlin lay in Steve’s arms, finally allowing herself to feel happy. She ran her fingers over his chest. “Do you have to go back
to work?”

  “I should.”

  “But do you have to?”

  He looked at her. “Do you have a better idea?”

  Catlin whispered in his ear.

  His eyes widened. “I’m not sure that’s legal in forty-eight states.”

  She grinned. “I won’t tell.”

  By seven-thirty on Friday, Catlin was starting to worry. She hadn’t heard from Nick, and they should have arrived hours ago. She paced and jumped when the phone finally rang.

  “It’s me,” Nick said. “We’re in Topeka, having car trouble.”

  “The Mustang?”

  “Yes.” He sounded furious. “A mechanic just got here, so I’m hoping it won’t be much longer.”

  “How’s Chris?”

  “Grouchy and tired. And hungry. I’m going to grab him something to eat, he can’t wait any longer.”

  “Okay. Call me when you’re on your way?”

  “Will do.” He hung up.

  Catlin pushed the disconnect button on the phone, then released it and dialed Steve.

  “Hello,” he answered.

  “Hi. Nick’s having car trouble, so they’re going to be late.”

  “Where are they?”

  “Topeka. He said a mechanic just got there.”

  “You want me to come over?”

  “No, let’s just stick with the plan, and we’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Okay. Thanks for letting me know.”

  “Love you.”

  “Love you too. See you.”

  She hung up the phone, and put the dinner she had fixed away in the fridge.

  It was nine-thirty when Nick finally called back, reporting the car’s radiator fixed. They would be to Marshall in an hour.

  At ten-thirty, Catlin opened the door to Nick carrying a sleeping Christian. “Sorry,” he whispered.

  “Couldn’t be helped.” She motioned to the bed she had made for him on the floor. “Put him down here.”

  Nick did, and she pulled off the boy’s shoes.

  He stirred. “Mom?”

  “Hi honey.” She smoothed his hair back.

  Chris smiled and fell back to sleep.

  Catlin covered him up, and motioned for Nick to follow her into the kitchen. “Hungry?”

  “No thanks.” He shook his head. “Pissed and tired.”

  “Drink?”

  He raised his eyebrows. “What do you have?”

  “Bourbon, I think, and some beer.”

  “Bourbon, neat.” He sat back and kicked his feet up on the opposite chair.

  Catlin found Steve’s bottle and poured a glass for Nick. “I’m sorry I don’t have much room here. I made you a bed on the couch.”

  He shook his head. “I could sleep on this chair, tonight. I’m bushed.” He downed his drink. “Sorry to be such a drag, but I really want to sleep. I have to turn around and leave in the morning.”

  “It’s okay. I hope you can sleep.” She pointed. “Bathroom’s through there. Help yourself to anything in the kitchen.”

  Nick nodded. “Thanks Cat. Chris was so excited to come here. He’s done nothing but talk about you since you left.”

  “Great.” That made her happy. “Good night, Nick.”

  She went to bed, and left him to the couch.

  The next morning, she was woken up by her son jumping on her bed. “Hey, wake up!”

  Catlin opened her eyes. “Hi there!” She held her arms out, and Chris curled up in them. “I missed you.”

  “Me too. I’m glad we finally made it!”

  “Yeah,” she laughed “It was a long night, wasn’t it?”

  “It was a damn long night!” Nick joined them in the bedroom, wearing jeans and nothing else. He flopped down on the empty side of the bed, lying on his side. “I would have sold that Mustang to the first buyer when we were broken down. I was hot.”

  “It’s an old car, Nick. What do you expect?”

  “I expect that I pay my mechanic enough to keep the piece of shit in better running order than that.”

  She shook her head and they laughed, as Steve walked into the bedroom. “Hello everyone.”

  “Hey!” Catlin smiled at him. “Gosh, what time is it? We’ve just been talking.”

  “I see that. It’s nine-thirty.”

  “Damn.” Nick rolled up and off the bed. “I’ve got to get outta here. Baby, where’d you toss my shirt?”

  Catlin gave him a dirty look. “Shut up you jerk. Try looking on the couch, where you slept.”

  Nick grinned and brushed past Steve. “Hey, how ya doing man?” he acknowledged, and went to the front room.

  Catlin looked at Steve. “He’s yanking your chain, just ignore him. Hey, com’ere and say hi to Chris. Chris, this is my fiancé Steve.”

  He looked up shyly at Steve. “Hi.”

  “Hello.” Steve looked at the boy in Catlin’s arms.

  Catlin wiggled her son. “Why don’t you go say bye to your dad? I’ll be out in a second.”

  Chris jumped up, and went out with Nick.

  Catlin stood and put her robe on over her pajamas. “Good morning.” She kissed Steve gently on the lips.

  He did not kiss back. “This looks cozy.”

  “Steve, come off it. They got in late last night. Chris was sleeping. Nick had one drink and went straight to sleep on the couch. I slept in here. It was extremely appropriate.”

  “Then why don’t I like it?” he whispered loudly.

  “I don’t know,” she whispered back in the same tone of voice. “Let’s tell Nick good-bye, so he can get out of here.”

  “Yeah, let’s,” he said, and Catlin laughed. She pulled Steve out by the hand. “Nick, this is my fiancé Steve Naughton. Steve, this is Chris’s dad, Nick Prescott.”

  Nick was finishing a soda. He set the can down and gave Steve a small wave.

  Steve just looked at him.

  Nick raised his brows then faced Catlin. “So you’ll bring him back tomorrow early evening sometime?”

  Steve spoke up, “Yes, we will.”

  “Oh good.” Nick nodded at Catlin, and told his son good-bye. “Guess I’ll see you all tomorrow then.”

  “Drive carefully.” Catlin put her arm around Steve’s waist.

  “That’s a dumb thing to say, don’t you think?” Nick asked Steve. “Like someone would set out on a trip and drive un-carefully?”

  “Stranger things have been known to happen.” Steve looked at him evenly.

  Nick laughed loudly. “True, true.” He waved, and left.

  Steve turned to Catlin. “That is one strange man.”

  “Hey!” Chris jumped up in front of Steve. “My dad is not strange!”

  Steve made a face at Catlin.

  She chuckled. “He didn’t mean that, honey. Dad acts goofy sometimes, though, you have to admit that.”

  “He’s not strange,” Chris muttered, and looked around. “This place is not very big.”

  “No, it’s not,” Catlin agreed. “It’s been just me here for a long time.”

  “I’m hungry.” Chris continued to nose around.

  Steve said, “Why don’t I take you two out for breakfast? Give Chris and I a chance to get to know each other.”

  Chris shrugged, but Catlin nodded happily. “Can I shower real quickly?”

  Steve rubbed noses with her. “I don’t know, can you?”

  Chris smiled.

  They ate at a noisy, family-filled pancake house. Chris packed away two stacks of cakes, warming up to Steve when he heard that David had video games at their house. That was to be their next stop.

  “Wow.” Chris looked around from room to room in Steve’s big house. He was especially drawn to David’s room, where the video games were.

  Steve motioned him into the room. “David and his sister are spending the weekend with their mother, too. But I think it would be okay for you to play his games.”

  Christian looked over the selection and announced, “These games suck.”
r />   Catlin coughed, surprised at his bluntness.

  Steve shrugged. “Then you don’t have to play them. You don’t have to be rude, either. ‘Suck’ is not a very nice word.”

  Catlin made a face at Steve.

  He said quietly, “The boy needs to learn appropriate language.”

  She made another face as Chris reconsidered, and chose a game to play. Catlin and Steve leaned back on David’s bed to watch. Every so often, Steve reached over and gave Catlin a kiss on the neck or cheek.

  The gestures did not go unnoticed by Chris. He finally said, “Do you two have sex?”

  Catlin choked back another cough, stunned, with no idea how to answer.

  Steve looked at him evenly. “What kind of a question is that from a little boy?”

  “I’m not a little boy.” Chris continued to play the game. “We learned about sex in school, and mom said I could ask her anything.”

  “Maybe,” Steve continued. “But sex is not something that’s discussed in polite conversation.”

  Chris seemed to think about that as he played the game. “Are you two getting married?”

  “Yes.” Catlin could answer that question.

  “So if he marries my mom, that makes him my—?”

  “Stepfather.” Steve filled in the blank.

  “Stepfather, kind of like a father. Kids are supposed to be able to ask their fathers anything.”

  Steve leaned up on one arm, shaking his head. “Ask away kid. I may not have an answer, but I’ll play your game. You may be able to shock your mother, but you’re not shocking me.”

  Catlin smiled at Steve.

  Chris looked away from the screen for just a moment. “Do you think my mom and dad had sex?”

  Catlin’s heart lurched and she shut her eyes.

  Steve leaned back on the bed for a second. He leaned up again and admitted, “Okay, maybe you can shock me. Well, I suppose they did before you were born. That’s the usual way to get kids, anyhow.”

  Chris paused the game and looked at Steve. “No, I mean when mom came to see us in Kansas City. Or last night. She was alone with my dad, you know.”

  “Christian Prescott!” Catlin looked at him in disbelief. “That’s enough!” She grabbed Steve’s arm. “Nothing happened, I swear it. You know nothing happened.”