Secrets Past (Mists of the Fae Book 2)

by Jaime Marks

  Byryn knelt in a swirling mess of confusion in his mind as the pain ripped through him. There was nothing he could do. He recognized this, his essences were warring for dominance but neither was winning. It would kill him if the awakening didn’t manage that first.

  Grifyn’s strong voice and Staryana’s soft pleas held him. They wanted him to fight but he wouldn’t sacrifice her. Only a Shade could rebalance him now, shifting him back to his naturally Dark state and he wouldn’t allow it. He couldn’t guarantee he would protect her as Shade. Besides, no Shade would dare go against his Father or Cymeryn. If he didn’t surrender Staryana he would die in this, but the things his Father would do to Staryana would destroy both of them if he brought her into his world.

  Even if they allowed him to claim her after his betrayal, there would still be a punishment to bear. This shit hurt pretty damned bad and he knew how close he was to death, but they wouldn’t see it as enough. He’d been brought before Cymeryn and endured Trevyn’s harsh brutality before. He knew they enjoyed mind games even more than they savored in the physical pain of their conquests. Aside from that he rarely broke. Both of their essences coursed through his veins and he held a strength that rivaled their own, even in his unawakened state. It was why he held his position with the Brood, but it was also why they went to such lengths to keep him in line.

  They had taken him to the brink of death and nearly Commanded his mind into jelly last time to bend him to their will. His Grandsire and Father knew what it took to take him down and they would use her. He would have to watch first as they broke her and then endure whatever pain they saw fit to inflict on him. It wouldn’t be the first time he had witnessed a female endure the brunt of his Father’s wrath.

  Images of another girl he had once cared so deeply for and the pain she had suffered flashed through his mind as his guilt encompassed him. What they had forced him to do to her, what she had endured had nearly killed him. Something in him had died that day. Before that night he had been proud and feral in his Darkness, every bit his Father’s son and it had been a source of pride.

  There had been doubts created by what he’d watched Michael endure, but he ultimately accepted it, trying to ignore it. There was never a choice. This life was all there was and he embraced it. Something had changed in him the night Michael was awakened in such depravity however, and when he met her she had been so vulnerable, so weak. Her mother had done so wrong by her and all he wanted was to protect and care for her. He wanted to show her who she was and feed that fire he saw deep inside, that strength.

  She had trusted him. He knew it wasn’t something she ever allowed with anyone, and she had more than enough reasons not to, but she had trusted him. He had meant to protect her, meant to guide and train her until she was strong enough to hold her own in their world but what he’d done instead still haunted him. To this day he would never know if the punishment she endured at his hands, forced by their father, was truly because of his rage at her state, or because Trevyn had sensed a weakness in his favored son that he decided needed to be eradicated.

  Trevyn had won that night, but it was likely what had cost him his favorite protégé in the long run. Byryn had always thrived in the Darkness, given it free reign over him and he savored in the lessons his Father and Grandsire had taught him. Their interest, their trust and praise had always made him feel special and wanted in some sick, twisted way.

  After that night, seeing the damage he’d done to that poor girl, his own sister, everything had changed. He felt nothing but guilt and shame for what he’d done to her. He’d betrayed Trevyn long before he’d decided to go against Cymeryn’s order to bring him Staryana. He helped her escape, looked out for her from a distance as best as he could, atoned in small ways. Instead of finding strength in their lesson, he felt only doubt and shame. He began to resent them, to resent himself for what he’d done.

  Never before had he ever betrayed his position with the Brood but after that he had begun to do things his own way. Freeing his sister had been the first of many small rebellions. Some of his brothers had noticed, but they never questioned it. Even before he’d changed his line had always been a priority. He’d always been hard on them, but it was always meant to prepare them, to teach them and never needlessly like some of his elders. He never amused himself with their torture, but when they stepped out of line he was every bit as ruthless as their Father. Most of the younger members of the Brood had been more loyal to Byryn than Trevyn because he actually took an interest in them. They appreciated his support, respected his strength, and feared his rage. It allowed him a lot of leeway. He had actually found a balance with it all in some respect, aside from the one aspect of his life he couldn’t figure out how to control. Staryana.

  He had wanted her unlike anything he ever experienced before. Walking away from her just wasn’t an option for him. When her essence had finally surged, undeniably revealing her nature to herself, he had been faced with having to see her endure everything the world of the Shade offered. He could protect her, guide her, but the moment he claimed her it would reveal she was his weakness to his Father and Cymeryn. He couldn’t deny her, no other Shade or unawakened would treat her right and he would never have been able to sit back and watch her become someone else’s. The thought of her enduring the things that unawakened females were typically put through disgusted him and even seeing her in the arms of another made his rage surge forward at barely containable levels. He couldn’t sit back and watch her broken down to some slave that existed only for her master’s pleasure. Besides, controlling his jealousy of the humans she spent time with was difficult enough but with his own kind? There were few unawakened that Byryn didn’t reign over and even fewer Shade that would challenge any claim he made given his Father was Cymeryn’s progeny and favored Second. All knew him as the favored son.

  Byryn could protect her from any other Shade but he wasn’t sure if he would have been able to protect her from his Father. Even still if she had been lost to the Shade it would’ve been her best option. Even if they had decided to break her to punish him, they would never take her. They would have allowed him to keep her, if only so that they could leverage the threat of her pain against him.

  The truth was if they had never broken him in such a way, he never would’ve hesitated to claim her and present her to his Father as his. He never would have hidden her and protected her at school, keeping his distance to keep her safe from his world as long as he could. If not for what first his brother and then his sister had endured, causing him to doubt what he felt, to doubt the Darkness inside of him, he never would’ve worried for what he would have had to watch her endure or even inflict on her. He would have taken her the day he met her as was his right. Trevyn would have bound her to him and she would have been his all this time. Instead, he tried to prevent her from having to suffer as long as possible.

  There was no way he would have delivered her to the Fae and risked losing her, she was his. He knew it the first time he touched her and after that display in the halls it was amazing he hadn’t torn her clothes off and marked her right there, taking her sweet innocence.

  No, he would never risk what she would endure in his world if he caved and begged his Father and Trevyn to take him back. His death would suit her better. He had already destroyed one female and he wouldn’t be responsible for her fall. She was too precious, to beautifully bright to diminish in such a way.

  Grifyn shook his head in disgust seeing the images that flowed through Byryn’s mind. There was such chaos and pain rolling through the boy that he had not been able to fully reach him. It seemed instead of a true response every time he argued for him to fight, every time he tried to argue his strength the boy began to roll through these memories. What he had been forced to endure was appalling.

  Part of it was the awakening. The young relived their lives so that they could leave the past behind them and be reborn as Fae. He was working through his guilt and pain, however, and Grifyn suspected this was h
is justification for why he deserved to die and would sacrifice himself for Star.

  It did not matter. He had been slowly working through managing his essence, using his own to fill the boy as he drew out both the Dark and Light. It would not integrate on its own for him as his had for Reyana, but then, she was a goddess and he was but a male. He had found however that when he pulled the essence into himself it automatically merged within him and he could then flood it back into the boy. Unlike the Dark and Light essence that warred within him. The Gray was taking root and the chaos was beginning to die down somewhat.

  He tried again to reach out now that his essences were more stable. “Byryn, she loves you. You love her don’t you? You are dying to protect her?”

  “It’s the only way.” His voice echoed around her. “I won’t give into the awakening and risk turning her over to that life. Flood me with Light, please, end my pain and protect her.” He pleaded.

  “You drew the Light into yourself intentionally.” He murmured echoing Ryo’s suspicions.

  “Yes, for her. I would do anything for my Brightness.” He groaned as another wave crested.

  He couldn’t think of any other way to reach the boy and this might be cruel in his pain but he needed him to fight. “Right now, Darkness is surging through Staryana. It hasn’t taken hold, but the more pain she sees you endure, the closer you get to death, the closer she is to succumbing to it.” Grifyn relayed sternly. “If you want to save her, you will fight, Byryn. I will ensure you do not fall back into the Darkness. I will protect you both but you will fight because if she watches you die, she will fall.”

  He could feel the alarm that coursed through him. The fear and the pain that he didn’t know how to manage and Grifyn allowed his essence to sooth and comfort the boy. He was so lost. The depths of this young male touched Grifyn. The things he’d endured, others that he was forced to do and the guilt that permeated him for it. He’d always been tempered with Light in some way though it was intensely shrouded in Darkness.

  Trevyn and Cymeryn had no idea what they had done. They had broken him at a young age then guided him to accept the Darkness and thrive in it. It was all he had known and while he felt compassion and responsibility to those in his charge, the Darkness ruled it all. Grifyn suspected if they had never harmed another he cared for, that Darkness would have continued to own him completely. Instead where they sought to foster hate, anger and rage with their actions, to give him a sense of power and strength; they had opened the door to shame, guilt, and remorse. Whatever Light had existed in the boy’s heart, they had opened the door for it to strengthen and take hold.

  He couldn’t understand it yet. They had a lot to learn of the unawakened. If Byryn was the example then it meant they were all merely young. They needed guidance and love, nurturing and acceptance, very much like humans in a way. They became what they were taught to be. It made sense in a respect, they were born of humanity. Humans were not able to enter their realms as it could sway them to Darkness or Light. If a young was predisposed to nothing but Darkness…that was what he became, but if you exposed them to Light? If Grifyn was right, Byryn was not an isolated incidence. All the unawakened Shade could be saved.

  He shook the thoughts from his mind for the moment and concentrated on the boy he meant to claim as a son. He could feel him reaching out with his essence, feeling the changes in himself. It gave him hope and Grifyn could only pray to the Divine that it was enough to get the boy to fight. He was better, but far from out of the woods. They needed to stabilize him before his awakening reached his peak. If he couldn’t, then the boy would be lost. It was something he would not allow.

  Chapter 3

  Kato grimaced as Crytos and Trevyn tossed him roughly onto the bed and left locking the door. He was back in her quarters and she was here. He could feel her. She did not restrain him, she knew he would not leave her but she did not speak either. He lay there in silence. The room was Dark aside from a candle by the bed, and he strained searching for her in the shadows.

  “Why so quiet my love, rough day?” He asked breaking the silence when she made no move to come to him.

  “Don’t.” She nearly hissed and he could hear the anger in her voice.

  He breathed deep taking in her scent, but he also smelled the tinge of Shade blood in the air. “Are you wounded?” He grimaced in concern.

  A chair flew across the room, breaking against the wall. She stormed to the bed, “What did that bitch do to me, Kato? What power does she have?”

  He looked down to see a small gash in her side, it looked minor and he sighed in relief. Studying her demeanor he puzzled over her words. “You will have to give me more information, my love. I know not what you mean.” He reached his essence out sensing her, using his elemental essence to better gage what had her in such a frenzied state. He studied her bewildered at the odd essence that was infecting her. It was not Light, but it also was not Dark. Essentially it was both. He had never sensed anything like it before. It could only mean Reyana was indeed awakened Light. He could not fathom what benefit such ability would grant the Shade, but it seemed to be able to balance the Darkness. He could sense a myriad of emotions and changes rolling through Demytria. None of which he would characterize as Shade and most of which had not been present before.

  She stomped over and fell back leaning on the wall. “I would beat it out of her myself but Cymeryn is still locked in his quarters with her.” She almost seemed to pout and he could sense her jealousy and pain. She was feeling rejected and it cut her deeply in some ways.

  Kato grimaced trying to focus on what it all meant. If Cymeryn had Reyana it was a dire situation. The fate of the realms was at stake, unfortunately it was a danger he could do nothing about in the moment. He could however foster whatever change Reyana had instigated in Demytria. Hissing, he forced himself to a seated position. He felt her eyes on him as he carefully swung his legs off the bed and rose, pausing a moment to ensure he did not fall over before he went to her. Kato pressed her into the wall, running his hand through her hair.

  “Are you pouting, love?”

  She shook her head at him, slowly meeting his eyes. “You can’t give me what I need Kato, you can’t own me as he does. It is a waste of time to even try.”

  He took her by the throat, catching her by surprise as he kissed her roughly. “Domination does not have to mean Dark, Demytria.” He nipped down her neck. “And he cannot take you to the places I do. Dark cannot show love.”

  “I do not need your love, Kato.” She spat.

  “Hmmm, perhaps not.” He murmured pulling her from the wall as he turned her, forcing her backward to the bed. “But I know you, Demytria. I know when you are lost in me, and you most certainly were last eve.” Pushing her back onto the bed, he reached under the leather of her skirt and pulled off her panties sliding them over the boots.

  “You were an interesting distraction,” she mused feigning boredom. Her eyes told a different story, however. They were full of desire as they watched him strip out of his clothes.

  He leaned down and pulled her to his cock. She stared up at him, licking her lips slowly but did not move. She wanted him to own her, to control her. He needed to show her that he could do so without abusing her trust and body as Cymeryn did. He could feel the need for it in her. She wanted to be needed, wanted that intensely, but she wanted to be respected and valued too. Whatever had happened, whether it was the essence that flowed within her or the wound he sensed Cymeryn had somehow caused, she was confused. She needed both and knew Cymeryn could not and would not give it to her, especially not now that he held Reyana in his grasp.

  Kato smiled in knowing satisfaction. He could give her both. He could give her exactly what she needed. “Drink from me, Demytria, take me in your mouth now.” He commanded as he pulled her mouth closer so her lips kissed against the tip of him and he felt her tongue caress it flicking over it before running down his length as she took him deep into her throat. She sucked slowly drawing h
im in and pulling back, allowing her tongue to slide along his shaft. His hands speared into her hair keeping her from pulling too far away but he allowed her to control the flow as she drew him to the edge. Her hands gripped his ass firmly and he rocked slowly to her rhythm, careful to control himself and not forcefully thrust. She drove him harder and Kato threw his head back moaning as she drank him in, emptying himself into her throat.

  When she drew back with a small satisfied smile on her face, he pulled her up to his mouth, kissing her passionately. His sex already lengthening again against her. When you could not touch, could taste your mate for nearly forty years, there was no sating the desire that churned as you reveled in their flesh once more.

  His hand gripped the fabric of that leather thing that served as a dress ripping it from her and he was rewarded with a moan of satisfaction. It was not that he found the attire completely unattractive but it reminded him more of lingerie than something to clothe his mate in for war. Besides, it irked him that she wore it for all to see.

  He gripped her firmly lifting her up by her ass as her legs wrapped around him, the heels of her boots digging into him slightly. He groaned as he slid into her completely, controlling her body as he bounced her on his sex so that his thrusts hit her just right. Her nails dug into him as he took her hard and he felt her spill over him as her wet flesh spasmed. She milked the orgasm right out of him, his head thrown back as he released his essence into her core.

  He crawled onto the bed and lay her down, not withdrawing from her. He reached down grabbing a piece of fabric and grabbed her hands, binding them tightly. She looked up at him with those seductively hooded eyes, licking her lips. “What are you doing, Kato?”

  “Everything, you want and need me to, my love.” He whispered leaning to her ear as he secured her to the bed frame. “I will take what I need from you and sate you as I do.”