Stories for Amanda

by Amanda Todd Foundation

  He looked at me like my head had twirled around on top of my shoulders. “So, you’re not moving on her. If that’s true and if you two are just friends, what’s the problem if David asks her out?”

  I sighed. I really couldn’t argue with him. I couldn’t have it both ways, and I couldn’t felt at this point. I wanted her, more than I’d probably wanted any other girl before, but she was quickly becoming important in ways that were new and unfamiliar to me. I was like a fish out of water, trying to get my bearings.

  “Okay, I’ll see what she’s doing. But, I’m going to tell her about that guy. I don’t want her to feel set up.” Plus, I didn’t know how she saw her relationship with me. Maybe we were only friends, I didn’t know. If so, that word had more to it than it ever had before. “If she doesn’t want to go, she doesn’t want to go. I’ll expect you to drop it.”

  “This is weird, Ryan. If you’re not into this girl like that, what’s your problem?”

  “Aaron, I said I’d ask her. So shut up about it, okay?”

  He sat back on the couch and watched me fidget. “You are into her.”

  “I said I like her, but spending time with her is most important.”

  He whistled and smiled wryly. “Never thought I’d see you confused over a chick.”

  I huffed and went off toward my room, muttering. “That isn’t a word I use to describe her. Julia is no chick.”

  ~~~~

  “Hey, you.” Julia’s voice was soft and a little raspy when she answered the phone. “What are you doing?”

  It had become common to call each other every day, to know what and where the other was all the time. It wasn’t weird for her to ask me. I might have resented it if it was anyone else, but it was how we were with each other. How I wanted it.

  “Trying to get Aaron off my ass. He wants me to go to this party tonight. Some frat thing.” I groaned, hoping she’d get how unenthused I was about going.

  “I think Ellie is planning on something like that. Which house?”

  “Kappa Nu. Aaron’s frat.”

  “Oh. I see. Are you going?”

  “No. I don’t know. Look, I told Aaron I’d ask you to come.”

  “Aaron?”

  “Yeah. Some asshole he wants to impress saw you with us and wants to meet you.” My stomach felt sick when I said the words.

  “Hmmph,” Julia huffed. I couldn’t tell if she was amused or pissed. “Well, if he’s an asshole, bring him on. Sounds like my type.”

  The fact is, we hadn’t talked about her type, or mine for that matter. I hadn’t asked another girl out since I’d met her, and she hadn’t dated either.

  I rubbed the back of my neck with my left hand as the fingers of my right gripped tightly around the phone. “Look, I told him you probably wouldn’t want to go.”

  “Who’s the guy?”

  I was taken aback that she asked, but what did I expect her to do? I had no right to be pissed or even feel upset. Not when we were only friends. “Um…” I struggled to find the name in my mind. “David something or other. Aaron said he’s the president of the fraternity.” I filled up my lungs and tried to let the air out without Julia hearing it over the phone.

  “Should I go?”

  “I didn’t… I mean, I don’t know.” I paused.

  “Are you going?” she asked again.

  “I didn’t make plans. Do you want me to? I can go with you. Make sure you’re okay.”

  “I don’t want to usurp your plans, Ryan.”

  I sat down on my bed and swiped my hand through my hair. Julia used words like usurp when so many didn’t even know that the hell it meant.

  “I didn’t really have any plans.” Other than call you and see what you were doing, I thought. I was pissing myself right now. Why the fuck did I even ask her about that stupid party?

  “I’m not feeling the greatest. My throat is scratchy, and my nose is stuffed up. I think I’m coming down with something, so I wasn’t really planning on going anywhere tonight. Anyway, I’m sure I look like crap.”

  I sat up a little, not happy she was sick but happy I didn’t have to go to that damn party and watch some prick hit on her all night. I sighed in relief. “Want me to bring you some soup? Medicine?”

  “I had one of those instant things.” She cleared her throat and let out a small cough.

  I hated the thought of her sick and all alone and found myself wanting to take care of her.

  “Jules… why don’t I come get you? Aaron will be out all night tonight. He’s chasing a new girl, and with that party, I doubt he’ll come home until morning. I’ll stop on the way and pick up some Nyquil, Kleenex and stuff.”

  “That’s sweet, Ryan, but you have better things to do than listen to me blow my nose. I don’t want you to get it.”

  “I won’t. I’ll be over in an hour.”

  “Ry—” she began but I interrupted.

  “Don’t argue, Julia. I’ll get some movies and lots of junk food, too. Lots of salty stuff to help your throat.”

  I hung up without waiting for an answer, and an hour later I was waiting for her in the lobby of her dorm. When the elevator opened and she came out in grey sweat pants and a dark purple parka, carrying her pillow and a box of tissues, my heart softened. Her hair was tied up in a knot on top of her head; she was pale and her nose was red. It was easy to see she felt like hell, but I couldn’t help the small smile that came to my mouth as she walked toward me.

  “Don’t look at me,” Julia muttered, wiping her nose.

  I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and started walking toward the doors that would take us out to my car. “You look fine. For a sicky.” I gave her a squeeze and laughed softly, happier than hell at the prospect of spending the evening with her despite the state of her health.

  Her little fist came out and punched me in the ribs, but my coat provided enough padding to keep it from hurting.

  “Is that all you got?”

  “No. I’m gonna breathe on you and spit in your mouth,” she teased miserably. “Just wait.”

  I laughed out loud and piled her into the waiting car to drive the short distance to the apartment Aaron and I shared. It was in an old turn of the century house that had been converted into four apartments. It was nice but not very big. I’d rushed around and picked the place up, but it still wasn’t as clean as I’d wanted for the first time Julia came over. She walked in ahead of me when I pushed the door open, slowly glancing around. There was an old couch and a large TV in the living room, with two mismatched chairs and the kitchen was small, off to one side, the table cluttered with books and notebooks.

  “I bought you Diet Coke, Cheetos, and one of those veggie sandwiches you like from Ike’s.” I murmured, setting the bag, paper cups filled with pop, and the videos on one end of the counter. I pulled off my coat and hung it over the back of one of the kitchen chairs.

  “Thanks.” She wrapped her arms around herself, still clad in her coat. “What’d you get?”

  “Roast beef. I thought we could share, if you wanted.”

  “Yeah.” She nodded and went to sink down on the couch, setting her pillow down.

  “Do you have the chills? You look cold.”

  “A little.”

  I went to my room and pulled the comforter from my bed, and in less than a minute, I had her shoes and coat off and the covers tucked all around her as she lay on the couch. My hands shoved the covers under her legs and feet. Her green eyes locked onto mine.

  “My throat hurts. Do you have ice cream?”

  I rolled my eyes. “It doesn’t matter. You can’t have it, anyway. It’ll make mucus and you’re already a snotty bitch.”

  Her laugh followed me to the kitchen as I went to retrieve the bag of food from the sandwich shop, the sodas, and the bag of cold medicine I’d picked up at Walgreens.

  “Dickhead.”

  My lips quirked in amusement as I unwrapped the food and set her sandwich on the coffee table in front of her alongside
mine and then flipped on the TV.

  Julia coughed and covered her mouth with a tissue. “Ryan,” she coughed again, “this is a bad idea. I never get sick, so this must be a bad bug. I seriously don’t want you to get it.” She snuggled down deeper into the blanket, curling on her side and closing her eyes. I could have taken the chair at the end of the couch but I sat down next to her and lifted her legs so they rested across my lap, grabbed the remote and half of my sandwich, my arm resting across her legs. I watched her face for her reaction, to see if I was overstepping the bounds of friendship, but she just sighed.

  “Not hungry right now?”

  She shook her head. “Maybe in a bit.” She breathed in, her eyes still closed.

  “This smells like you.”

  I flushed. Should I have gotten a clean blanket out of the closet instead? “Do you want a different one?” I started to take a bite.

  “No. I like it. It’s like you’re wrapped all around me. It feels good.”

  My heart stopped. I still didn’t know how the fuck to classify our relationship or what we were to each other. But one thing was for sure… to say we were friends was only scratching the surface.

  “Thank you, Ryan.”

  “For what?”

  “Getting sick with me,” she said sleepily.

  Yeah, I probably would get sick, and I didn’t even care.

  I smiled. As long as anything was with Julia, whatever it was, I was in. All in. I was done, and I knew it.

  ~~~~

  This has been an original scene from before the beginning of

  “The Remembrance Trilogy, Book #1, The Future of Our Past.”

  You can also read the official prologue (Ryan’s Ah-Ha Moment) free on Kahlen’s blog:

  http://kahlen-aymes.blogspot.com/p/prologue-future-of-our-past-remembrance.html

  About the Author

  Kahlen Aymes

  Kahlen is an award-winning author of sizzling hot, deeply moving and angst filled contemporary romance.

  Her bestselling series, The Remembrance Trilogy: (The Future of Our Past, Don’t Forget to Remember Me & A Love Like This) will have you laughing, crying, yelling at your Kindle and jumping up and down screaming “Ryan is Mine!”

  Kahlen and her daughter, Olivia, reside with three spoiled-rotten dogs, Gem, Riley and Sophie near Omaha, Nebraska. Creative by nature, she enjoys the arts, music and theater… But the love of her life is writing! She has a snarky sense of humor and a BSBA in Business Administration and Marketing.

  Represented by Elizabeth Winick Rubinstein of McIntosh & Otis Literary Agency.

  353 Lexington Avenue • New York, NY 10016

  Follow Kahlen to see what she has coming up:

  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kahlen.aymes.author

  Twitter: @kahlen_Aymes

  Blog: http://kahlen-aymes.blogspot.com/

  Hoping

  by

  E.K. Blair

  © Copyright 2013, E.K. Blair All rights reserved.

  (Erin, Mark’s sister)

  I watch my big brother as he plops his duffle bag down on the floor. He’s wearing the vintage Mudhoney shirt I got him for his birthday a couple years ago. I love that he still wears it, but it has grown smaller on him since he’s been hitting the gym more often.

  “I’m gonna miss you.”

  He looks over and starts walking toward me. “I’ll be back in a few months for Thanksgiving break.”

  I love my brother, we’re close; we’ve always been that way, but this summer we really grew tight. I was worried about him right around his high school graduation a couple months ago. He’d been really short with my twin sister, Emily, and me, and he was isolating himself from everyone. It wasn’t long before I overheard him telling our parents that he was gay.

  I sat at the top of the stairs and listened to him cry while he told them. I was shocked, but more than anything I was sad. He’s always been my strong big brother. The one I go to with all my problems, knowing he will help me fix them. He’s always been very protective over me and my sister, so to hear the pain coming out of him hurt me. I could tell he was scared. I was too. Afraid my parents would reject him and make him feel worse. I was terrified I would lose him if they did. I wanted to run down there and give him a hug, give him what little strength I felt like I had in me.

  He had mentioned that a few guys at school knew and had been tormenting him toward the end of the semester. I’m glad he graduated and no longer has to deal with their bullshit. But now he’s leaving me to go across the country to The University of Washington. My heart feels like it’s too big for my chest as the sadness swells in me. I’m losing a big part of me, but he seems happy to be leaving, so I try and suck it up for his sake.

  “Are you ready, sweetheart?” my mother asks as she walks into the living room where Mark and I are standing.

  “Yeah, I think so,” he tells her before reaching down to hold my hand.

  I can’t even keep my sadness in. I try, but my quivering chin is my tell and he sees it. He pulls me in, folding me up in his arms as I let the tears fall.

  “Don’t cry. I promise I’ll call you as soon as my plane lands,” he assures me, but it isn’t enough to calm me.

  “I want you to stay,” I choke out around my tears.

  He pulls away and looks down at me, pretending to be unaffected, and says, “I know, but I can’t.”

  He’s running. I can feel it. He would never admit to it, but I know he’s scared to stay here. This summer was rough on him when nearly all his friends turned their backs on him. Word spread fast that he was gay. I try and remind myself that him leaving is probably the best thing for him, even though it hurts me.

  I nod my head and sling my arms back around him.

  “Where’s Emily?” my mom asks.

  “She went over to a friend’s house,” Mark tells her. “We said our goodbyes earlier.”

  “We should get going,” she says, and Mark loosens his hold on me.

  “It’s gonna be weird not having you here,” I mumble.

  “Just don’t take over my room with all of your crap. I’ll be back in a few months and I want it untouched,” he jokes with me.

  “Promise,” I say before he pecks my forehead.

  ~~~~

  (3 weeks later)

  Mark has been gone for almost a month now, but he calls and texts often. He’s settled and started classes at UW last week. He seems happy, so I’m trying to be as well.

  “Em! Hurry up. We’re gonna be late!”

  “I’m coming!” she snaps. “And we’re not gonna be late.”

  Emily is feisty as hell. We are a lot alike in that respect, but I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve where she has a toughness that I admire.

  When Em comes down the stairs, I grab the car keys and head out. As she hops into the passenger seat, she starts, “I wonder if Gabe ever broke it off with that sophomore?”

  “Why would he?” I question, and when I do, I see a huge grin spread across her face. “Oh, God. What did you do?”

  “Nothing,” she says in a singsong voice that tells me she has been up to no good.

  “Spill it.”

  “You can’t say a word. Promise.”

  Watching the road ahead, I say, “Promise.”

  “So that party I went to Saturday night that you were too tired to go to… well, apparently his girlfriend was tired as well and wasn’t there.”

  “Cut to the point,” I tell her, not needing all the chitchat.

  “He kissed me.”

  “Em!”

  “What?”

  “He has a girlfriend!”

  “Sooo?” she says as if she hasn’t a clue as to how inappropriate it is. “We’re in high school. It isn’t like they were getting married or anything.”

  Shaking my head, I say, “You are unbelievable. Breaking up a relationship is not the way you want to start your junior year.”

  “Oh, God,” she moans at me as I pull into the parkin
g lot behind our high school.

  Familiar faces are all around and everyone is happy, meeting up their friends they haven’t seen all summer. I find our assigned spot and park the car.

  “Well, as fun as this car ride was, I’m gonna go see if I can find Gabe before the first bell rings,” she says as she grabs her backpack and opens her door.

  “Em.”

  “Yeah?”

  “That girl is gonna be hurt when she finds out. Just… don’t rub it in and make it worse on her,” I tell her.

  She lets out a deep sigh and nods her head. “Fine,” she reluctantly agrees before hopping out of the car and walking across the lot.

  I reach in the back and get my bag before heading in to see all my friends. Walking through the busy halls, I find a few of my friends gathered around a locker.

  “Hey guys,” I announce when I walk up to them.

  Turning to look at me, Jenn closes her locker and walks away. I wonder what the hell I could have possibly done to piss her off. We haven’t spoke in about a month, but during the summer, that isn’t too uncommon.

  Adjusting my backpack higher on my shoulder, I make my way to my first class, already wanting to ditch. I pull out my phone and text Mark.

  First day already sux.

  Switching my cell to silent, I walk into my English Comp. class and find a desk to situate myself at. I sit there, feeling uncomfortable when I notice the whispering going on around me. I wish my phone would buzz with Mark’s reply. Anything to distract me from my self-conscious thoughts.

  I sit through the whole class, anxious for it to end. Fifty minutes pass and I never feel my phone vibrate, but then the time difference dawns on me. It’s not even 6am in Seattle.