Until

by Timmothy B. Mccann

  There was a moment of silence before they both burst into laughter. “Heifer, you are crazy.”

  “Shyeet, that brother swung like a horse, child,” Jacqui said, and rolled her chair closer to Betty on the couch to whisper. “He came out of the bathroom, and all I could see was his silhouette. He turned toward the dresser to find something for me to sleep in, and when he turned sideways, Lord, it looked like the map of Florida . . . upside down!” As she raised her right hand, Jacqui said with a laugh, “I tell no lie. If you cut that damn thing in half, you’d know his age! Child, when I saw it, all I could do was make that face.”

  “What face?” Betty replied through her laughter.

  “You know what face. That face you make when ‘Let’s Get It On’ comes on. That ugly face? That was me.”

  Wiping her eyes with both hands, Betty said, “Damn, that face. Girl, you know you need Jesus! So it was good?”

  “Yeah, it was good. But I couldn’t keep a brother like that around for too long.”

  “Why you say that?”

  “Big as he is? He’d have me wearing Pull-Ups and Depends by the time I’m fifty. Does the word incontinence mean anything to you? But I must admit, even that tongue thing felt good. But I wouldn’t kiss him for all the tea in China. He tried to kiss me and I had my mouth all up by his ears. I wanted to say, you eat ass, not me.”

  Betty jerked with laughter and threw a wadded-up napkin at Jacqui. “Girl, I don’t know why I fool with you.”

  Jacqui sat still and gave Betty a serious look for the first time since they had been in the room. “Girl, let me tell you something. You know I would never steer you wrong. I love you like a sister. In fact, I love you better than my sister, and you know that ’cause I can’t stand her lazy butt. But if this brother loves you, and he’s good for you, don’t let him get away. Sisters out here would jump out a window for a brother like that.”

  “I know. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy being with Evander and I do care for him. But I just don’t know for sure if it’s love, at least not yet,” she said, and stared at her friend and then into space as she recombed her fingers through her hair and laced them behind her head. “I just don’t know. But damn, girl,” she said, and looked back at Jacqui, “Damn, it feels good.”

  Chapter 9

  Tuesday night

  If was late, it was hot, and Betty was lonely. “I wonder what Jacqui’s up to,” she said to herself as she listened to the phone ring on the other end, looked at the clock, and noticed it was well past midnight.

  “Hello,” Jacqui said after she clicked over from the other line.

  “You on an important call?”

  “Yeah, right. At midnight? No, just aggravating Bruce on the other line, begging, as usual.”

  “You want me to call you back later?”

  “Are you serious? One second, let me get rid of his ass.”

  As Jacqui clicked over, Betty lay in the midst of several stuffed animals from her childhood which she kept on her bed, but always got rid of whenever Evander came over. Her favorite was one her dad had sent her which she’d named Tuddley.

  She felt like going out, but since it was so late in the small town, most of the nicer jazz clubs would be closed. Evander had to get up so early in the mornings, so she could not imagine a call to him. As she’d watched TV, she’d realized it was a perfect time to talk to Jacqui.

  On the screen there was a scene of the wide-open plains of Oklahoma. As the actors spoke, in the background there was a long, black, slippery oil drill that went up and down in the well. On a night like tonight, this was not something she needed to see and she turned off the TV.

  “Back.”

  “Hey, what took you so long to get rid of him?”

  “Child, he’s pitiful. Just plain old pitiful. I’m glad you called,” Jacqui said.

  “Why?”

  “I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but damn, he’s boring as hell. I talk to him for fifteen minutes and it feels like we’ve been on the phone for an hour!”

  “Bruce. Isn’t that the guy who is a professor at the university or something?”

  “Yeah, I thought I liked educated men, but after talking to him, the stupid brothers look kinda good.”

  Betty laughed as she cuddled closer to Tuddley. “Well, I know what I got with Evander. I got so tired of the same thing. But I keep watching him too, waiting for him to trip.”

  “Damn, one second. Who is this,” Jacqui said in a falsetto tone, “calling me at twelve forty-five?”

  Jacqui clicked over to the other line and then clicked back. “Girl, I gotta go. You gonna be up later on tonight?”

  Betty smiled and said, “No, darling, as we speak, I’m running water for my bath and then I’m going to sleep.”

  “Okay. Good night.”

  “Girl, you’re too through,” Betty said, dropping the cordless on the bed, and walking into the bathroom to add oil and bubbles to her bath.

  The bathroom was her special place, her haven where she could release all of her pressure from the day. The walls were white and accented by black tiles on the floor and trim. All of the fixtures were onyx; assorted greenery and uniquely shaped bottles of oils from around the world were scattered about, and the air was kissed with a wisp of perfume. Betty looked forward to relaxing with just her bubbles. Moments when she had time to sit in a tub until the water was lukewarm and run hot water again and again were rare. Moments when she could play Will Downing in complete darkness, light scented candles, pour herself two fingers of Bailey’s, and sit it on the edge of her tub were few and far between. But this was such a moment.

  She sat on the edge of the tub because the water was too hot to sit in. As she slowly put the tip of her toe in, she felt it was safe enough to stand in the fiery water. The hot water brought beads of sweat to her brow, and as they formed, she allowed herself to sit, reached for the bar of soap and started to lather herself. Betty washed her stomach and under her arms and allowed her hand to move over to her breasts. As she bathed herself, she felt this was the perfect time to check herself, as she’d been taught in high school, but the touch became a lot more than anything Coach Hopper had taught in sex ed.

  After a few minutes, she decided she’d had about as much of this as she could stand on a night when she was going to be alone, and pulled the string that allowed the tub to drain. “Damn, I wish it wasn’t so late,” she said, and thought of Evander. Before the tub drained, Betty put the stopper back in and sat in the sudsy water. It felt good to her for some reason. She was still covered with tiny bubbles as she gradually slid back and forth in the tub, feeling the cool air from the vent blow on top of her and the hot water caress her bottom. She rubbed the lather over her neck and shoulders with both hands. It felt amorous and erotic. She guided the slippery bar around her nipples and under her breasts as she closed her eyes and took short, evenly spaced breaths of air. Her eyes became slits as both of her hands touched the center of her chest and slid down her stomach, past her navel, toward her V.

  “No, no!” she said as she shook her head. She had made a pact with herself not to do that again since she met Evander. Damn, damn, damn, why does it have to be so late?

  Betty stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her and sat on the bed to curl her hair. She lay back to catch her breath and get over the emotions she had experienced earlier. Lying still, she allowed the top of the towel to come free and her hands returned to her nipples, which experienced a hard-on few men could bring on. As she lay exposed, allowing her body to air-dry, her hands did something she promised herself she would not do. Before she could stop them, they had dialed the last digit.

  “Yeah,” the sleepy voice on the other end said.

  Betty was coy for a split second and wanted to hang up, but knew she had reached the point beyond which she could not back out. “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t want to wake you.”

  “No, I wasn’t asleep,” Evander lied. “I was just sitting here watching,
ahh, television.”

  “Really,” Betty said as she attempted to avoid being too direct. But reality had set in for the first time, revealing just how addicted to him she had become. “What are you watching?”

  “Nothing really. Why are you up so late?”

  “I, I, ahh, I just couldn’t sleep.”

  “Umm. Well . . . would you like some company?”

  Betty jumped from her bed, unable to believe what she had done. She paced as her new cat, Tickey, watched her with his head swiveling back and forth and then scurried from the room. She had never called a man in the middle of the night for attention. It went against everything she believed in. It was something Jacqui would do, not her. As she stood, she removed the two curlers from her hair and paced back and forth. Should she put on music, candles, and lingerie to set the mood? Or would it be more romantic if she just put on a pair of revealing silk jogging shorts and a tank top, turned on the television, and allowed nature to take its course? She walked into her living room naked and put on Teddy. There was something in his voice that was similar to Evander’s. It was earnest yet passionate. Rough, yet sexy and sensual. After she listened to two bars of “Turn Off the Lights,” she decided that tonight nature needed a little assistance.

  It was not long until Evander parked his SUV and knocked on the door. Betty sat in her bedroom wearing the scarlet negligee she’d bought three years earlier for a special occasion. She kept it on the top shelf in the original bag with an imaginary ribbon around it that read “Break only in the event of an emergency.” Tonight was such an emergency, and she looked forward to the seal being broken. As she stood with only the three-inch door between them, she looked through the peephole and saw his smile beneath his evenly trimmed mustache and full lips. With her fist up to her mouth, she closed her eyes and opened the door. Standing in the doorway, she did not know what to say. What took you so long? Hello, big boy? Damn, I’m glad you came? No words seemed right at this moment.

  “Damn, Beep. God, you look beautiful.”

  “Thanks,” Betty replied, and looked down to avoid his engulfing eyes. As he walked in, she noticed he wore the black basketball shorts that were so sheer she could tell what religion he was. And it was obvious from the jiggle below, there was nothing between him and her but mesh.

  “I’m glad you called,” he said as he stood in the foyer. “It seems I just can’t get you outta my mind. Beep, I’m strung out on you.”

  With a newfound strength Betty said, “I know the feeling. I was just—” and then Evander tilted her face upward with his thumb and index finger and softly kissed her before she could finish the thought. For a large man he could be amazingly gentle as his lips embraced and seized hers and his arms held her close enough to feel his excitement.

  As their lips separated, Evander looked at Betty, smiled, and whispered, “Close your eyes.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I said so.”

  Betty followed his wishes and closed her eyes with a smile of anticipation as she felt Evander take her hand and place a piece of metal in it. Opening her eyes, she looked down at the key as Evander said again, “Beep, close your eyes.” And then he brought his lips inches from her ear, so dose her goose bumps returned. “Front door,” he whispered, and then handed her another key and said, “Back door,” and with the third key he said, “Garage door.”

  Opening her eyes, Betty looked down and asked, “Evander? Are you sure you want to do this?”

  “I have never been so sure about anything in my life. I swear, if there is a better feeling than the one I get when you look at me and smile, God must have kept it in heaven.” And then he brought her dose and said, “Honey, if you would just let me . . . I would love you more than you could ever know.”

  Betty took a stiff swallow and still looked at the keys as she said, “Evander I—”

  With a finger to her lips, he continued, “Betty? If you would just let me love you, baby, I would love you more than you would ever know.” Betty felt weak as Evander once again pierced the air with his bass voice. “Beep, if you would just let me, I will love you.” Evander brought his lips back to hers. As they kissed, he removed his shirt and somehow relieved himself of the shoes and shorts while never diminishing the moment they shared.

  Betty pulled back and lowered her head to his chest. She wanted to kiss his nipple, but Evander pulled away and whispered in her hair, “This night is for you, baby. It’s all about you.” He stood still and seemed to breathe Betty into himself. With his eyes he traced the shape of her lips and then her eyebrows and cheekbones. Although he had seen her face a hundred times, he seemed to look at her for the very first time as he lifted her, without effort, from the floor and walked into the bedroom.

  As he lowered her to the bed, Betty felt like a leaf that had fallen on a soft lawn. His body was strong and hard. He knew what to do with her body, and how to do it so well. As she lay there, he pulled the string on her lingerie that exposed her breasts. Betty was embarrassed for a second because she had always been self-conscious about their size and shape, but those fears dissipated. He stood over her exposed, with only the light of the moon shining off his passion. And then he ran his hands featherlike across her breasts, barely teasing the surface. With his thumb he brushed the outer edges of the nipple and took his time as if nothing in the world were as important as making her feel safe in his arms. “I wish I had a nicer or more romantic way of saying this, baby,” he whispered, “but you have the sexiest, most beautiful breasts I have ever seen. I sometimes lay in bed just thinking about them. No joke.” He smiled.

  Evander slid his tongue deep into the soft area of flesh above Betty’s collarbone, which caused her to quiver. She loved his attention to detail. He allowed his kiss to tease the outer area of her breast, then brought it to the black-brown rim and toward its center. As he moved slowly, he felt every bump, and it seemed to only excite him more. Evander journeyed further and deeper with her into the valley of pleasure, and then she reached for his exposed fire and noticed it was moistened. He held her hand firm. “Not yet,” he said. The message that night was clear. On that night she only had to open her heart, close her eyes, and enjoy the ride.

  On previous nights they had shared passion, but never like this. There were nights they’d perspired together, but never made the windows fog. As they made love, the intensity changed like the seasons. There were moments when she held on to the thick muscles of his lower back and tried her best not to leave a scratch. And then the mood would swing as he would softly but firmly hold both of her wrists and take her places she had never been. Betty opened her eyes to look at Evander covered in sweat, which would occasionally drip onto her breasts. Breathing heavily, she wanted to watch him with his eyes closed, because she feared staring into them would leave her as defenseless as saying those three words. The satin sheet that had once covered her mattress was wrinkled at the foot of the bed. The top sheet and comforter were only a distant memory. And then she said with a tear in her throat to the rhythm of the love they were making, “Evander? You know how . . . I feel. If you truly love me . . . then you know how hard this is for me.” Evander covered her lips with a kiss and then looked in her eyes with a blank expression.

  As the CD changed to the O’Jays’ “Let Me Make Love to You,” Evander suddenly froze. “What’s wrong?” Betty asked, fearing with her inexperience she had done something wrong.

  But he just said softly, “I want to look at you.” Catching her breath, Betty blushed and closed her eyes as Evander said, “Look at me.” Betty did so with reluctance. To the beat of the music Evander moved again as she closed her eyes and then he said, “Betty. Look at me.” Never had doing so been so difficult for her. As her fingers turned into fists he said once again to the rhythms in the air, “Betty . . . look . . . at . . . me!” And Betty opened her eyes and a little more of her heart to Evander as he mouthed the words slowly, I love you.

  It was 3:30 A.M. and Betty was awake. As Evander slept,
she eased out of bed to go to the bathroom. By far it was the most special night the two had shared. It was, in a way, frightening how good this man could be when he wanted to. As she walked toward the kitchen for a cup of tea, she turned off the CD changer with Teddy in the middle of “Come on Go with Me.” Teddy never sounded as good as he sounded tonight.

  After she returned to the room, Betty pulled her white antique rocking chair closer to the bed to sit and rock, and watch her Vander. He slept so peacefully. Like a forty-four-year-old baby. The face that made a passionate scowl while they made love was now at rest atop her pillow. The body that made her vibrate with a liquid fire lay innocently in a fetal position.

  Being mischievous, Betty pulled off the remnants of satin that were still on him, leaving him totally exposed. As he lay there, her eyes rested on his chest as she wondered what kind of heart pumped inside of it. Was it cold or sincere? Could it walk away and leave or call out a name in an argument? Could it have been broken and in need of healing or was it as warm inside as it appeared from the outside?

  The door cracked and Betty was startled until she heard the furry bundle of love meow and walk toward her. As she rocked, Tickey jumped in her lap and she held him close. After the hours she had just spent with this special man, her cat tingled and it felt good. Evander reached for the sheet to cover himself while he slept, and Betty rocked and sipped her tea. She had done things with him she had never heard Jacqui mention doing before. This was a night that exceeded her wildest dreams. Was it because she was lonely? Was it because she could truly admit to herself that she had fallen in love with this man deeper and faster than she ever wanted to admit? Or was it because of the fullness of the moon against the black velvet sky? Whatever it was, it had worked. “If it was because of the moonbeams, it’s a damn shame you can’t bottle them,” she whispered and then yawned. Then Betty quietly put her cup on the dresser and picked up the key to Evander’s front door. As she rocked and stared at it, Tickey curled into a tight ball on her lap and went to sleep.