Cowboy Tough

by Stacy Finz

  “Charlie…I’ll wait.” He held her so gently, so hopefully, it made her ache inside.

  She put her hands on the sides of his cheeks. That face. That amazing, beautifully rugged face. How she would miss that face. “Don’t wait, Jace. I’ve made so many mistakes, so many bad decisions, that it may take me a lifetime to understand why. Just know that you…Travis and Grady…this ranch brought me back from the dead. But the work to make me healthy again has yet to begin. Thank you, Jace. Words cannot express how thankful I am that you came into my life.” Her voice trembled. She was crying hard now. Big, wet, sloppy tears and a wet nose that wouldn’t stop running. “And know that I love you. I will always love you.”

  Chapter 23

  Friday evening Jace stood in Charlie’s bedroom, staring at the empty space. The furniture was still there, but she was gone.

  He sat on the edge of the bed, where her scent still lingered, and inhaled it as if it would bring her back. It hadn’t even been eight hours, yet he felt the loss of her deep down in his bones.

  “Dad, look what Charlie left me.”

  Jace’s head came up. “What do you got there, buddy?”

  Grady held up a patchwork quilt. Every square had a different baseball team logo. The Giants, the A’s, the Padres.

  “It’s great.” Jace reached out and touched the blanket.

  “She made one for Travis too. It’s on his bed. You want to see it?”

  “Nah, Travis should see it first. It’s his gift.”

  “When’s Charlie coming back, Dad?”

  How was he supposed to tell his boys she wasn’t? They’d already been through this once with their mother. “I don’t know, buddy. She’s going home to her family. They need each other now.”

  “But she’s our family too.”

  “Yep,” he said, trying not to choke up. “But the three of us, we’re good as long as we have one another.”

  Grady sat next to Jace on the bed. “Are you sad, Dad?”

  “Yep.” He ruffled Grady’s hair. “It’ll pass. You got homework?”

  “It’s Friday.”

  “Why don’t you get it over with so we can spend the rest of the weekend playing? What do you say?”

  “You’re not going to work?”

  “Nope. Maybe the three of us should go to the lake, pitch a tent, and do some serious fishing. How does that sound?”

  “Good, I guess.” Grady shrugged. “Travis might want to spend it with Tina.” He made gagging noises.

  “It’s just a hunch, but I bet he’ll choose fishing. Go finish your homework while I make dinner.”

  “Can we have that monkey bread stuff Charlie bakes?”

  “I don’t know how to make it, buddy. But I’ll do a little research for the next time.” He got to his feet and Grady followed him to the kitchen, where he grabbed his backpack from the mudroom and took it to Jace’s study.

  Travis would be home from junior rodeo practice in an hour. Jace went through the motions of getting dinner started. The kids had to eat and he had to do something to keep his mind off Charlie. He’d picked up the phone at least twenty times today to call her to see how the drive was going…and to beg her to come home.

  At least she had her sister and wasn’t making the trip alone. Portland wasn’t so far anyway.

  “Hey.” Sawyer came through the door and immediately stuck his head in the fridge. “What’s for dinner?”

  “Burgers and mac and cheese.” Jace found a package of ground beef in the freezer and stuck it in the microwave to defrost. While he waited, he grabbed a grill pan. He didn’t feel like dealing with the barbecue.

  “We gonna talk about it?”

  “Nope, nothing to talk about. She’s gone.”

  “Jace—”

  He held up his hand. “What part of no don’t you understand?”

  “I wouldn’t be a very good reporter if I let everyone who didn’t want to talk shut me down, now would I? The good news is you don’t have to answer any questions, just listen. Charlie isn’t Mary Ann. She’s crazy in love with you, Jace. If you don’t believe me, ask Cash and Aubrey. We’re all in agreement that she’s nuts about you.”

  “I’m glad you could all take time away from your busy schedules to discuss my personal life. Why don’t you try getting one of your own?”

  “Why don’t you pull the stick out of your ass and get on the phone. Tell her you love her. Tell her you want her back.”

  For a supposedly smart guy, Sawyer was a moron. “I told her that already.”

  Jace watched Sawyer process the information. It would’ve been funny if Jace’s heart wasn’t in goddamn pieces.

  “You did? Then why the hell isn’t she here?”

  “Because she’s got issues to work out. Trust issues.”

  Sawyer reeled back. “Come on! You’re the most trustworthy dude in the world.”

  “Not me. Her. She has to learn to trust herself.”

  “Give her a few weeks, then go get her.”

  Jace shook his head. “Nope. If you love someone, set them free.”

  “Are you actually quoting a fucking greeting card?”

  Jace didn’t know where the saying had come from but in this case it applied. “I love her, Sawyer, but it has to be her decision. Otherwise, I’m no different than Ainsley.”

  “Ainsley is a sociopath.” Sawyer jabbed his finger at Jace. “You’re not. Are you really willing to let her go without fight?”

  “If I thought fighting would win this, I’d fight. I’ve got to give her time and space. She’s got a lot of things to work out and I’m not going anywhere.”

  “You’re just going to wait?”

  “What choice do I have?”

  Sawyer studied Jace. “Don’t wait too long, Jace. The saying is bullshit. Absence does not make the heart grow fonder.”

  * * * *

  By April, Jace was starting to think Sawyer was right. He hadn’t heard a word from Charlie. She’d texted Grady, who had sent her a picture of his arm with his cast off. It had taken everything Jace had not to respond. The relationship she had with his kids was between them.

  If she wanted to contact him independently, she knew where to find him.

  He fell into his regular routine of taking care of the ranch and going to work, missing her more every day. Sometimes, after the boys fell asleep, he’d wander into her room, close his eyes, and pretend she was there. For a second or two, he’d feel at peace and then his heart would fold in half.

  Antonia had called twice, once with an invitation to attend a pottery show at her studio and the other an invite to dinner at her place. Both times he found convenient excuses to bow out.

  About the only good thing he could say about the month was someone was interested in buying Grandpa Dalton’s coin collection. They’d settled on a fair price, even though the amount fell slightly short of his share of the property taxes, which were due in four days.

  He’d decided to take a cash advance on one of his credit cards. It would jam him up financially—the interest rate was like 18 percent—but he’d run out of solutions. And come December he’d be in the same financial straits again. Although they wouldn’t have the back taxes hanging over their heads, the regular taxes on a property this size were truly more than the three of them could handle without more income. Charlie was right. They needed to come up with a way for the ranch to generate revenue in addition to what their small cattle operation brought in.

  Time for another family meeting.

  He went to the safe to retrieve the coin collection and give it a good dusting before shipping it to his buyer. Next to the coin collection was a stack of bills and checks. Charlie’s money. She’d forgotten her earnings from the furniture she’d sold. On the top of the pile was a note.

  Jace, there are no words to describe my than
ks for all you’ve done. You, the boys, and Dry Creek Ranch were my salvation. Please take the money and use it toward the taxes. Before you let your macho pride get in the way, think about how important this is for me. You gave me the chance to start over again, to do the work I love most. The workshop in your barn was the first step in taking my life back. Dry Creek Ranch—and of course you—put me on the road to recovery. Knowing that I can make this contribution is part of my healing. Please don’t take that away from me by rejecting the funds. I love you!

  Yours truly,

  Charlie

  He read the note over and over again. He could almost hear her voice saying every word. And for a long time, he sat there, his insides hurting. Finally, he returned the money and the note to the safe and locked it behind him.

  * * * *

  June came with its mercurial weather, which perfectly reflected Jace’s mood. Gloomy. There still hadn’t been any word from Charlie. In a moment of utter weakness, he’d called Allison to check in. She’d said Charlie was getting counseling and facing her demons and not much more. Jace didn’t push.

  He often scanned her Facebook page to see if she’d opened a new store. But the last post on the page was from more than a year ago.

  There was talk that Ainsley had agreed to a plea bargain, which meant Charlie wouldn’t have to come back to testify. It was the best possible outcome. Charlie wouldn’t have to relive any part of her life with Ainsley. But it also meant she had no reason to ever return to California.

  As the days drew closer to summer, he was starting to accept that she was gone to him.

  “Are you listening?”

  “I heard every word.” Jace lifted his face from staring at his plate and looked directly at Tiffany.

  “Then what did I just say?”

  “Okay, I lied. I’m all ears now.” He toyed with his steak sandwich.

  “That reporter from the Call wants to follow you to the ballot box on Tuesday and watch you cast your vote. I told him that was fine.”

  “Thanks for asking.” Jace planned to take Travis and Grady with him and didn’t want a reporter tagging along.

  “This is just in case you tie with Jolly and have to go on to the general election. It never hurts to curry favor with the press.”

  “Fine,” he said and pushed his plate away.

  Tiffany leaned closer and whispered, “I’m hoping you’ll flat out win this.”

  Jace hoped so too. He was tired of campaigning, while Jolly seemed to relish the attention. And why not? Jolly was a personable guy and Jace had a hunch that campaign functions appealed to him even more than being sheriff. If nothing else, Jolly’s candidacy had been a boon for his hardware store.

  “You think you can make it two more days without stirring up some kind of controversy?”

  “Like what?” Why did Tiffany have to be so freaking dramatic?

  Tiffany threw him a heavy dose of side eye. She was more nervous about Tuesday than he was, even though it was his ass on the line. “I just wish Charlie was here. You two looked good together and everyone adored her. Sally Reynolds is still telling everyone you broke up her son’s marriage.”

  “Sally Reynolds is lucky her son isn’t doing three years in Folsom.”

  “Just don’t make any headlines before Tuesday, unless it’s to save a cat or a little old lady.”

  “What about getting shot? You want me to do that again?” Ah, crap. He was in a foul mood. Tiffany didn’t deserve his sarcasm. Jace reached across the table and placed his hand on her arm. “You’ve done a great job, Tiff. Thank you for being my campaign manager, putting up with my shit, and caring so much about this community. Whatever happens on Tuesday, know how much I appreciate everything you’ve done.”

  She held up her hand. “Save it for when the polls close and every vote is counted.” She flagged down Laney for the bill. “Now I’m going to enjoy the rest of my Sunday.”

  “You don’t enjoy hanging out with me?” He winked.

  “Perhaps if you were twenty years older and not such a rascal.” She winked back.

  “Go on and git. Say hi to your husband for me and I’ll take care of the check.” He fished his wallet out of his jacket pocket, squared up with Laney at the cash register, and went home.

  The house was empty. Travis was at Tina’s, studying for finals, and Grady was at a friend’s. He thought about wandering over to Cash and Aubrey’s cabin, but they spent most of their weekends finalizing their wedding plans. Sawyer was up to his elbows in revisions on the first draft of his book. That left Jace to entertain himself.

  He decided to pay Amigo a visit, sliced an apple and hiked down to the horse barn with the dogs. Sunflower was the first to greet him, sticking her face over the corral gate, looking for either a treat or a scratch on the nose.

  “Here you go, girl.” He fed her a piece of the fruit he’d brought and whistled to Amigo.

  The gelding lifted his head from the grass and strolled over to the fence. Jace scratched his head, climbed through the space between the railings, and checked his gelding’s hooves. Travis was doing a good job mucking stalls.

  After feeding the horses the rest of his apple, Jace took the trail with no place in mind and wound up at Charlie’s old workshop. He hadn’t been inside since she’d left, sparing himself visions of her hunched over her sewing machine, or cutting a piece of thread with her teeth, and a flood of other memories.

  He wandered around the mostly empty space. On the wall was a weathered barn-wood sign with white letters that spelled out “My happy place” and his throat clogged. This had indeed been Charlie’s happy place.

  The sewing counter they’d set up was still there but her machines were gone. The space heater he’d dug out of the basement sat in the corner. The rafters she’d once knocked clean were back to being covered in cobwebs. He looked around for a broom and found one leaning against the back wall.

  “What are you up to?”

  Jace jumped. “Why the hell did you sneak up on me like that?” The damn dogs, who’d stretched out in a sunny spot on the floor, were useless.

  Cash cocked a hip against one of the posts. “Didn’t mean to. I was headed over to Sawyer’s to borrow a sleeping bag and saw the barn door open.”

  “What do you need a sleeping bag for?”

  “Ellie’s going on a camping trip with the Millers as soon as school lets out.”

  “I’ve got three. You could’ve borrowed one of mine.”

  Cash shrugged. “Sawyer offered first. What are you doing in here?” He took in the broom and hitched a brow. “Spring cleaning?”

  “Nah, just looking around.”

  “You nervous about Tuesday?”

  “Tiffany seems to think I’m in good shape, but who knows? Jolly’s got a good following. Truth is, if I hadn’t gotten shot saving one of my constituents, he probably would’ve beaten me.”

  “Constituents?” Again with the raised eyebrow.

  “You know what I mean.”

  “How is she?”

  “Her sister says she’s doing okay.” Jace sat on the sewing counter and rested his heels on an old vegetable crate. “I haven’t talked to Charlie, though.”

  “No?” Cash was doing that silent interrogation thing he always did.

  “Haven’t talked to her since she pulled out of here in March.” He wasn’t telling Cash anything he didn’t already know. “I’m giving her space to do what she needs to do.”

  Cash pinned Jace with a look. “It’s June. It’s Mary Ann all over again, Jace.”

  “I only waited for Mary Ann for the boys’ sake, not because of any misconceptions that we were still in love. That ship sailed the day she walked out on us.”

  “What about Charlie?”

  She wasn’t coming back was what Cash was trying to say in the nicest way possible. Jace didn
’t answer at first, trying to come to grips with the reality of the situation. Cash was right, Charlie wouldn’t be returning to Dry Creek. She’d mistaken gratitude for love and had realized that as soon as she’d gotten to Oregon.

  To be frank, he’d known that in his heart of hearts the day she’d left but hadn’t wanted to face the bleak truth of it.

  “Nothing,” Jace said. “It’s time for me to move on.”

  “You got a plan for that?” Cash joined him on the counter.

  “Win the primary on Tuesday, figure out a way this ranch can bring in more income, be best man at your wedding, and watch our new crop of calves grow fat. You got a better suggestion?”

  “How about dating?”

  “Yeah, that too.” Jace had zero interest, but maybe if he got out there he would.

  “It’s time, don’t you think?” Cash squeezed Jace’s shoulder. “I’ve got to get that sleeping bag.” He looked around the barn. “Don’t spend too much time in here, looking backwards.”

  “Yup,” Jace said, but when Cash left, he stayed behind to hold his own private memorial for what could’ve been.

  Chapter 24

  Tuesday morning, Jace stared at the red striped tie he planned to wear to cast his vote at the grange hall on Dry Creek Road.

  “Screw it.” He tossed the tie on his bed and rummaged through his drawer, finding what he was looking for. Grandpa Dalton’s lucky bolo tie. It was sterling silver and turquoise and definitely louder than the simple bolos Jace wore. But today he could use an extra boost of good juju.

  The old man used to brag that wearing the bolo tie outside the delivery room had gotten him four healthy grandchildren. And the night he’d worn it to the annual Cattlemen’s Association dinner, he’d won Cattleman of the Year.

  Grady burst into his bedroom. “Travis says we don’t get to vote.”

  “Hey, pardner, what did I say about knocking?”

  “Sorry. Is it true?”

  “Yep, not until you’re eighteen. But I’ll let you two help me fill out my ballot.”

  Grady sat on the edge of the bed. “Can Ellie come too?”