Death Dwellers Motorcycle Club:: Fifteen Bad Boy Biker Books

by Kathryn C. Kelly

  One fucking smile from Megan lit up his entire existence. If he lost her, his life had no meaning. He’d never be able to return to who he’d been before he met her. Fucked up or not, he wouldn’t know how to live without her alive and happy. With him. Without him.

  Just as long as she fucking lived.

  He sucked in a painful breath.

  “You don’t even have it fucking in you to run our fucking club and guide us without her,” Johnnie went on, using the opportunity of Christopher’s lowest point to un-fucking-leashing all his anger and resentment.

  Christopher understood, although Johnnie’s bullshit about that fucking cunt pissed him the fuck off.

  “She’s the fucking reason you didn’t do anything about Digger sooner,” he continued. “You let her interfere in club business and it got us all fucked up. It got your son fucking stolen and Bunny more than likely killed. Megan’s fucking interference got my wife shot.”

  Jumping to his feet, Christopher growled and started for Johnnie. “Say what the fuck you want ‘bout me, Johnnie, but I’ll rip your fuckin’ head off if you ever again blame Megan for your bitch gettin’ shot.”

  “What’s going on in here?”

  Roxy’s voice cut through Christopher’s head and halted him. He glared at Johnnie’s raised fists, then stalked back to the window.

  Assfuck was right.

  “None of your goddamn business,” Johnnie barked to Roxy as she hobbled closer.

  Free of makeup, she was still pretty, although she looked a little gray.

  Limping forward, Roxy jabbed her finger against Johnnie’s chest. “Look, motherfucker, you boys don’t have time for this shit,” she fired back. “Can’t rest in a goddamn hospital, so I checked myself out to take the day and gather my strength. Then, in between watching the kids, I can hunt down the motherfucker who shot my baby and my ass. And I mean literally my fucking ass.”

  Grimacing, she turned and pointed to her uneven ass cheeks. One side must’ve been bandaged.

  For some reason, with the production she made of showing her injury, Christopher believed she wanted to cheer him up and break the tension.

  He drummed up a half-smile. “Ain’t your fuckin’ ass supposed to be in a fuckin’ wheel-fuckin-chair, babe?”

  “Bitch out there waiting for me with the wheelchair, Outlaw. I was coming to check on Meggie before I fly the coop and I heard you two arguing as I opened the door and walked in.” She glared at Johnnie and planted her hands on her hips. “No, I heard this motherfucker arguing. You so fucking smart, genius motherfucker? Telling Outlaw what the fuck he should’ve done. You the fucking VP. Why didn’t you bring your fucking ass out there and hunt down Digger yourself? Outlaw just a fucking man like the rest of you, so don’t start hitting him with no bullshit that you could’ve taken care of yourself.”

  Christopher returned to his seat and leaned back, thrusting his fingers through his hair in agitation. “Leave the motherfucker alone, Roxanne. He right. Your fuckin’ ass right too, but don’t fuckin’ take away the fuckin’ truth behind what the fuck he said.”

  Johnnie’s anger, his sister’s hatred exploded inside of him and left behind a startling realization. He couldn’t run his club anymore. He was no longer what the Dwellers needed. He couldn’t be Megan’s husband and the club’s president. In the end, that was un-fucking-fair to everybody. His divided loyalties fucked everything up.

  “Me and Megan been through fuckin’ hell and back. When she lost our kid and I almost fuckin’ lost her, I fucked up with her. When she open her fuckin’ eyes a-fuckin-gain, I’m gonna kiss the fuckin’ ground she walk on. Megan gonna come first ‘til I breathe my last fuckin’ breath, so I’m out, John Boy. I quit. You right. I ain’t did fuckin’ right by you motherfuckers. I ain’t done right by my girl. I just fucked up all ‘round, so I’m patchin’ the fuck out.”

  Two gasps met his statement, the finality in his tone leaving no doubt to his sincerity.

  Johnnie jerked as if he’d been shot. “Christopher—”

  Not much shocked Johnnie, but judging by the way color dropped from his face, Christopher sure the fuck had. That hadn’t been his fucking intentions at all. He’d thought Johnnie would welcome the news.

  Roxy gaped at him before she managed to speak. “Outlaw, I didn’t mean—”

  Christopher raised his hand, tuning out whatever Roxy and Johnnie might’ve fucking said. “Ain’t listenin’ to fuck else. You both right. I ain’t only let fuckin’ Megan get in my head ‘bout fuckin’ Digger, but Mort, too. I thought the fuck ‘bout how you and me would fuckin’ protect each other’s back, so that ain’t makin’ me the best Prez for the Death Dwellers.” He stood up and removed his cut, holding it out to Johnnie, who’d turned a fucked-up shade of white.

  Without his cut, he felt hollow and cold. Vulnerable. His patch, his rockers, defined him. Gave him focus. Meaning. Purpose. Different from the way Megan did. But walking away was the right thing to do after the fuckups of the past few months.

  He shook the worn leather at Johnnie. “Take the motherfucker.”

  Johnnie inched back and swallowed. “This club’s your life.”

  Funny how the motherfucker had lost his fucking anger and hostility.

  “Yeah,” he agreed, addressing Johnnie’s statement. “But Megan my world.”

  “Who’s going to run it—”

  Laying the cut over the back over the chair and feeling naked without it, Christopher lifted a brow at Johnnie, surprised at the question. “Who the fuck you think, motherfucker? You.”

  Johnnie shook his head. “I was just venting.”

  “Tough shit. Ventin’ or not, it’s fuckin’ true.”

  “Look, I’m sorry. Your disregard for Kendall grates.”

  “Don’t give a fuck. Told you I can’t stand her—”

  “Her and Megan are truly friends. You’re the only one who still treats her so bad.”

  Uninterested in rehashing old fucking news, he’d concede a few points to him and his psycho bitch. “John Boy, have that bitch got better? Yeah. I even under-fuckin-stand her ass. Don’t mean I still ain’t hatin’ on her. I ignore her ass as much as possible. Let her say what the fuck she want and keep the fuck quiet my goddamn self. She just like the other girls. I’m fuckin’ tired of tellin’ your ass I do that shit for you and Megan.”

  To Christopher’s shock, Johnnie looked lost, as if he had no fucking clue which way was up and which way was down. Wanting to ease him, he searched for the words Johnnie needed to hear. “You gonna take this fuckin’ club to places I ain’t ever been able to. You gonna be the best fuckin’ Prez ever, John Boy,” he said, believing wholeheartedly in the man’s abilities. “You educated. This club can go fuckin’ far with you.”

  “No,” Johnnie denied, shaking his head. “Are you fucking kidding me? I’d never be able to do what you’ve done. I run the lab, but it was your idea. The club gets money no matter what the fuck’s going on with other enterprises because of it. The hydro-grow operation—your idea. You made this club. You saved this club.”

  Swallowing, Christopher glanced at Megan and then stood. He walked to the window and stuffed his hands into his pockets, just to have something to do with them without doing what he really wished. Gather Megan into his arms and hold her close.

  “Ain’t done shit, John Boy,” he said finally, not really focusing on anything beyond the glass. It was fucking daylight and brighter than it had been the day before. Beyond that, he didn’t see, so why continue to look? “Big Joe had the gun-runnin’ in place and other side businesses. I just came up with fuckin’ ideas and got lucky.”

  Instead of responding, Johnnie made his way to the side of Megan’s bed, the first time he’d looked at her since…since she’d been admitted. Reaching out, he touched her hair and brushed his fingers across her forehead. A muscle ticked in his jaw. “She’s going to pull through,” he said with soft vehemence.

  Johnnie loved his bitch. Christopher knew that. He�
��d gone fucking crazy without her. But Christopher still got the sense that some-fucking-where, deep down, he still felt something for Megan. A part of him would always want her. Maybe, that’s why he fucking hated her a little.

  Roxy cleared her throat. “Can I talk to Outlaw alone?” Somehow, she’d become a mother figure to them, even Mort, who still pretended not to like her. She and Johnnie were always at odds, but Christopher knew he respected her as well.

  Johnnie backed away from Megan’s bedside and nodded to Roxy. “I’m going to Kendall’s room,” he said before walking out.

  Touching his chest to hunt for a cigarette reminded Christopher he no longer wore his cut. Ignoring his sense of loss, he grabbed the cut and pulled out his smokes and the other shit he’d stuffed in the pockets. He threw his keys, wallet, and cell phone on the small table containing the landline and a pitcher of stale water. That done, he pulled his T-shirt from his waistband to cover his nine holstered at his side.

  When he finished his tasks, he got a cigarette, but Roxy snatched it from his mouth before he lit up. He glared at her.

  “I already got fucking shot, Outlaw. I’m not fucking looking to get blown up.” She nodded to the oxygen.

  He scowled at her but silently agreed he’d almost made a stupid motherfucker move.

  She stuffed the cigarette in her pocket. “Any word on Little Man and Bunny?”

  “No fuckin’ trace.”

  She studied him, then limped to the other side of Megan’s bed and smiled down at her, gripping her hand. Nothing. No response. No squeeze back. “I know you love your children, so shouldn’t you be out trying to find your son?”

  He flexed his hands, wishing he had a cigarette or a drink, fucking something. Maybe, he needed to leave, check on the twins. Take a shower. Once upon a time, he’d had to leave Megan in the hospital, not a man able to stand idly by and fucking grieve at her bedside. Now, he could do nothing else, think of nothing else. Not even his missing boy. “I ain’t winnin’ no fuckin’ father of the year award.”

  Roxy threaded her fingers through Megan’s hair and Christopher looked away. Other than resting his head near her feet, he hadn’t touched her since she’d been wheeled from recovery after her surgery and into ICU. Not like Johnnie and Roxy had.

  He’d feel even more helpless when he touched her and she wouldn’t move.

  A sheen of tears coated Roxy’s eyes and she raised a pitiful gaze to him. “What if she dies? What happens to you then?”

  He clenched his jaw to hold back his grief and anger. The bullet hitting Megan, the shock on her face, the blood spreading across her shirt and her drop to the ground, kept replaying in Christopher’s mind, fucking with his head.

  “Your children are going to need you. They won’t know what to do without her.”

  He snorted. “And my fuckin’ ass fuckin’ will?”

  “Me and Meggie have faith in you that you would if something ever happened to her. Now, you sitting your ass here, staring at her bed while your son is wherever. You should be looking for him and Bunny.”

  “Already fuckin’ said that. But I ain’t fuckin’ movin’ from this motherfucker ‘til I know if Megan livin’ or dyin’.” His voice cracked. He couldn’t believe he’d actually spoke those words aloud. Fucking actually talked about her in association with death. Fuck him. Elbows on knees, he hung his head and covered his face.

  A moment later, he felt arms around his neck. “It’s okay, Outlaw. Tell me what I need to do. Nobody ever got to know either. Mortician in about as bad a shape as you with his son being killed and the state my Bailey’s in.”

  “How you keeping it together?”

  “I won’t do my daughter no good by falling apart.” She smiled, despite the tears in her eyes. “I need to get my grandbaby and make sure she’s okay.”

  “My lil’ sister, Ophelia, lookin’ after the kids. Megan two annoyin’ as fuck friends helpin’ out, too.” They’d been at the house when Christopher had checked on Rule and Rebel after Tyler’s funeral.

  She nodded. “Johnnie is unhinging because Kendall was shot, although she’s awake. He wants justice. Know what? All those boys looking to you to do it. He just trying to make you get up off your ass to do the shit none of them got the balls to do.”

  Christopher pulled away from her, surprised him how he’d accepted her affection so easily since she’d come into their lives. That was because of Megan, too. Everything good in his life happened because of his girl.

  “Any of them motherfuckers can do the shit I do.”

  “No and I’m not taking nothing from any of them, but you one mean motherfucker. Case in point. Kendall. When everybody else has forgiven her, your ass can’t and never will. But that’s just the man you are, sugar. You the kind of man who killed your daddy and Meggie daddy and didn’t lose fucking sleep over it because you knew those motherfuckers had to go. That’s some cold-ass shit.”

  “Ain’t lost sleep over Cee Cee. Over Big Joe? Yeah.”

  Roxy shrugged. “Fine. Point is this club is going down in fucking flames if you walk away now when it’s in such a crisis. If you want to leave, get the brothers through this and make sure the old members come back before you walk away. Otherwise, all the shit you did ‘til now for the club will be fucking worthless.”

  He glanced at Megan again. “She coulda died before I got shit fuckin’ straight at the club.” He could voice this to Roxy. She’d understand. “I’m her fuckin’ man. My ass shoulda rode with her here. I had to fuckin’ do right by my brothers. That shit not happenin’. Ever a-fuckin-gain.”

  “Meggie wouldn’t hold your duties against you. She know how you feel about her.”

  “Don’t give a fuck. I fuckin’ wanted to be with her but had to be at the fuckin’ club. I don’t even fuckin’ know what the fuck I ordered motherfuckers to do.”

  “I bet you still got it done.”

  Had he? He didn’t fucking know. He’d been living in a fucking fog.

  “What the fuck could you have done here but worry the fuck out of yourself if you’d come with her to the hospital?”

  “Fuck all, Roxanne,” he gritted, losing his patience at her persistence. Maybe, she didn’t fucking understand. “I still shoulda been fuckin’ here.”

  “This club needs you right now. Too much shit has gone on in the last four years amongst the members to survive you patching out now. Johnnie doesn’t have it in him to pull the MC together if you leave.”

  “John Boy got more than enough,” Christopher snapped.

  “You fucking think? That motherfucker almost cried when you quit. He can’t fucking do it and he’s man enough to admit it.”

  “He don’t want me to leave cuz we fuckin’ been in this club together for-fuckin-ever.”

  “You don’t want to leave either.”

  Not confirming her fucking annoying insistence, he shrugged. Glancing at the clock, he saw the time for the nurses to come in and change Megan’s IV drew near.

  “Just stay until Sharper is caught. At least see this through. You owe it to the brothers.”

  Christopher already missed his club and his resignation hadn’t even been voted on yet. He’d sacrificed his soul for the MC, only getting a piece back when he met Megan. He was still headed to fucking hell when he bit it and that shit would be for fucking nothing if he just allowed the Dwellers to crash and fucking burn.

  “You can get your boy back easier with the resources of the club.”

  He sure the fuck could. Although he didn’t doubt Johnnie’s abilities to head the club, he’d done a lot on the club’s behalf and before he walked away he needed to see to it that it didn’t fall the fuck apart. Besides, the club did give him valuable resources to aid in finding CJ. If only he could get off his ass to do it.

  Clenching his jaw, he snatched his cut and shrugged back into it. “Once this over, I’m walkin’ the fuck away,” he said quietly. “I ain’t riskin’ Megan no fuckin’ more.”

  “Okay.”


  She sounded as if she didn’t motherfucking believe him. Words meant fuck-all. He’d just have to fucking show her.

  His phone rang. Picking it up from the nightstand, he answered. “Yo, Cash.”

  “The farmhouse burned to the ground,” Cash said in response.

  “What the fuck you talkin’ ‘bout? Logan’s place…Fuck, my boy! Was CJ there?”

  Because that fucking farmhouse should’ve burned fucking ages ago. He didn’t give one fuck about it. Unless CJ…

  “No bodies were found, Outlaw, but I think Digger is the one who set it on fire. He knows of the place, so it seems logical he’d go there to hide out.”

  “Yeah, but Sharper probably fucking know ‘bout it, too.”

  “I’ll look into it.”

  “Fuckin’ do that, then call me the fuck back,” Christopher ordered.

  “What you need me to do?” Roxy asked when he disconnected the call.

  “I need you to rest, babe,” he answered. “Mort and Bailey need you.”

  He’d get his head on straight, for fucking real this time, and make a list of places to fucking look for his boy. In a little while, he’d find Mort. Who the fuck knew? Maybe, Mort wanted to fucking bail as well. He’d tell Val to settle the fuck down and stay in one more day.

  He had to do this shit. If only Megan opened her eyes first.

  A noise caught his attention and he turned as the door closed behind Roxy’s wordless departure.

  Fuck. He hadn’t meant to shut her the fuck out, but at least she understood enough and left without pressing other fucking issues.

  He got the fuck up from his seat and walked to the window. He had to fucking leave his girl to be a father to their children and the president of his club. Find Digger and Sharper and make those motherfuckers suffer. With his decision to stay until this ended, he had no choice if he wanted to make effective fucking plans.

  Although, if his son’s kidnapping wasn’t linked to the club, he’d stay right the fuck with his girl.

  “Fuck, baby! This shit not fuckin’ easy. Leavin’ you to take care of other shit, but I ain’t gonna be long. Ima be as quick as fuckin’ possible. Hear me, Megan?”