Death Dwellers Motorcycle Club:: Fifteen Bad Boy Biker Books

by Kathryn C. Kelly

Johnnie remembered that conversation. When he thought he’d die, all the love he ever felt for her rushed back. Now, once again, he was empty inside. Instead of consulting with him before she’d gone to Christopher, she’d just forged ahead and risked hers and Johnnie’s lives, as well as that of their unborn baby.

  “Can you fuckin’ blame him for wantin’ your ass gone?”

  “I never thought he’d walk away from me. Just like I never thought you’d really shoot him.”

  “That’s your fuckin’ problem. You do shit and don’t give a fuck ‘bout consequences. I told you and him, you had one more fuckin’ time to fuck up, and I was gonna kill him. You thought I was just hearin’ my ass talk cuz I fuckin’ like to?”

  “But you missed and didn’t kill him.”

  Christopher laughed without humor. “Ima just chalk that comment to you bein’ a stupid bitch. Insteada you leavin’ shit alone, you gotta point out shit obvious to every motherfucker but your ass.”

  “I don’t mean it the way you’re taking it. I’m glad your aim isn’t as good as you think it is.”

  “Kendall, a blind motherfucker coulda fucked up Johnnie as close as my ass was to him. The goddamn bullet was in his fuckin’ mouth. Ain’t no fuckin’ way I coulda missed blowin’ him the fuck away.”

  Another sob escaped her. “You’re cruel.”

  “And you hard-headed. All you gotta do is be-fuckin-have. And act like your ass got some goddamn sense. That education you talk ‘bout all the time ain’t doin’ you no fuckin’ good cuz you don’t have no common sense.”

  “And you don’t have scruples. Even now, when you shot your own brother, you’re remorseless.”

  “See? You still ain’t gettin’ it. You tell my ass I ain’t got scruples when you the bitch that drug her husband to have her fuckin’ way. You ain’t understandin’ Johnnie got shot cuz of you.”

  “No, he got shot because he strangled Meggie.”

  “And? You think Ima apologize for that shit? That’s the main reason he got shot. Other reason is he was a assfuck over you. You manipulate the fuck outta him, and put the club and my woman in jeopardy.”

  “Meggie manipulates you!” Kendall flared.

  There was some movement, as if Christopher shifted his weight. “Megan manipulate me for simple shit or to stop shit. You manipulate John Boy for underhanded, devious shit.”

  “It’s the only way I know how to be,” she admitted pitifully.

  “It’s the only fuckin’ way you wanna be. After all these fuckin’ years, if you ain’t realize we, even my ass, your fuckin’ family and you ain’t got to do shit, you ain’t ever gonna realize it. Family is family. We stick together.”

  “You didn’t do that when you shot Johnnie.”

  “Cuz when there’s a choice between him or Megan, I choose Megan,” he stated simply. “Besides, my ass also the club president. When he let you talk his dumb ass into meetin’ with a rival club member, he, in essence, betrayed the club and me. If I let any of that shit go, motherfuckers’ll get outta hand.”

  “Yes, because control is so important to you. You’re such an asshole. Cruel and heartless and a joke. You’re just jealous of my husband. That’s why you tried to kill him. But, you stupid bastard, you couldn’t even do that right!”

  Christopher sighed. “You gonna forever remain a clueless fuckin’ cunt, cunt. Lemme lay it out for your dumb ass. When I pulled my fuckin’ piece, I knew I was gonna pull the trigger. I’m so fuckin’ pissed with Johnnie, but all I could think ‘bout was him and me. Before you. Before Megan. Just him and me, as we grew up. I ain’t admitted it to myself then, but I ain’t wanted him to die, so I pulled my .22 and not my nine. But a bullet a bullet, yeah? I still coulda fuckin’ killed him when I pulled that trigger. Ain’t takin’ that away. When it came time to cap his ass, then I thought of Megan and changed the angle. If I wanted your man dead, his ass woulda been dead.”

  “He’s not my man. I’ve lost him.”

  “If only that was fuckin’ true.” A moment passed. “Then, again, maybe it’s gonna be true. Johnnie ain’t puttin’ you out for no other reason than the fact you drugged him. If not for that shit, he’da still been lookin’ his dumb ass the other way.”

  “I don’t believe that,” she choked out, returning to the pitiful woman Johnnie had heard when Christopher first arrived.

  “Don’t give a fuck. It’s the truth.”

  “You’re so smart and think you know him better than me. Well, he’s going to hate you when he opens his eyes.”

  “That shit on him. I do what I gotta do and make no fuckin’ apologies to no motherfucker except Megan. She, as much as Johnnie, the reason, I ain’t killed you yet. Cuz, bitch, if any motherfucker deserve to die, you do. You the bitch that cause all the misery. If you confine it to your house, he gotta deal with it. But you always find a way to involve me, Megan, and the club. You always hit the goddamn trifecta. You the bitch that need to die. You.”

  Before Christopher lost it, and carried that through, Johnnie moaned.

  “Johnnie!” Kendall cried. “Oh my God, let me get the nurse.”

  The sound of her footsteps pounding away meant he was alone with Christopher.

  A moment later, he loomed next to Johnnie’s bed, and stared down at him. Christopher heaved in a breath.

  Johnnie knew that was as close to remorse as Christopher would ever show, so he made a slight movement of his head, hopefully communicating that all was well between them.

  “I forgive you, too, John Boy,” Christopher responded, then walked out of the room.

  SHE NEEDED HELP. AT FIRST, Johnnie treated her as his wife, as if he wanted to keep her. As his healing progressed, he became more and more distant. Today, ten days after his injury, he was being released and intended to go to his room at the clubhouse, instead of their home, devastating Kendall.

  Rushing through the main room, Kendall ignored the stares and snickers in her rush to get to Outlaw’s office. Instead of barging in, she knocked and waited until she heard him growl, “Come the fuck in.”

  Her heart began to pound. Although she’d seen Outlaw twice since he’d shot Johnnie, she was scared now. Those other times, he’d come to check on Johnnie. This time, she’d be with him all alone. If he decided to kill her, there’d be no witnesses.

  “Who the fuck…” Outlaw’s voice trailed off as he yanked the door open and saw her. He scowled. “What the fuck you want?”

  “To talk to you,” she said on a swallow, having never felt the fear in his presence that she did in that moment.

  Leaving the door open, he stalked back to his desk and sat.

  Kendall bit down on her lip. Ordinarily, she’d goad him, flirt with him, or berate him.

  “You comin’ in or what?” he demanded, glaring at her.

  If she didn’t find someone to help her, Johnnie would come to the club and heal, then find a house for her. He’d said their marriage was salvageable, but that was before she’d gotten him shot.

  With that in mind, she swallowed her fear and walked into the office. She didn’t close the door. Instead, she went to one of the chairs in front of his desk and folded her hands in her lap.

  He stared at her without warmth, and she shivered.

  “I’m so sorry,” she started thickly.

  His jaw clenched.

  “Johnnie is coming home today,” she said, changing the subject since it seemed he didn’t care about her regret. How many times had she said she was sorry in these past weeks? Too many to count. “He’s coming to the clubhouse, instead of home.”

  He narrowed his eyes at her.

  “I take that to mean he’ll still proceed with finding me a house, when he’s better.” Her lower lips trembled, and tears rushed to her eyes. She didn’t care. She felt completely broken inside. “Johnnie swore to me, you all did, that I could be myself and you’d still love me. You wouldn’t throw me away.”

  No response. He shifted in his seat and folded his arms.

 
; “I don’t know what I’d do without my husband and children. Without Meg…” Bitter anger swept over his face, so Kendall changed her mind about bringing up Meggie. “Without the family.”

  “My son part of the fuckin’ family,” he reminded her coldly.

  “I know,” she rushed out. “I’m sorry for every mean thing I’ve ever said or done to him. He got me back good and called me a giant psycho bitch.”

  An unreadable expression dropped into his face before a half-smile tipped up his lips. Humiliation settled into her stomach. If it meant having to bow to CJ to keep her family, she would.

  “I beat his lil ass for sayin’ that to you,” Outlaw admitted after a moment, leaning forward and relaxing his arms on his desk. “He gonna apologize to your fuckin’ ass, Kendall. I ain’t likin’ you, but I also ain’t puttin’ up his disrespect of adults.”

  They fell into silence again. Kendall didn’t know if she should thank Outlaw for chastising his son on her behalf or not.

  “Whatcha want from my ass?” he asked with impatience.

  What did she want from him? No, she knew she wanted his assistance. He was the only one with the power to override Johnnie’s decision to make her leave. In her panic and desperation, she’d made another mistake. She was the last person Outlaw would assist. He’d wanted her gone since they’d first met.

  Sniffling, she got to her feet and hung her head, despondency overwhelming her. She’d lost everything. Johnnie. Her children. Her friends. Her house. Even Ella.

  “Stop,” Outlaw ordered, just when she would’ve walked out his office.

  She halted but didn’t turn.

  “What the fuck you want?”

  “Nothing,” she said on a quiet sob. For so many years, she’d used her tears to get her way. Now, when she was truly heartbroken and crying, she had no one to comfort her.

  “Sit the fuck down.”

  Without question, she did as he commanded.

  “What the fuck you want? For your-fuckin-self. Your career, yeah?”

  She just wanted to matter. The past ten days, while Johnnie recovered, she’d been content taking care of him. At night, Mortician and Bailey allowed her to sleep in one of their guestrooms, while Rory and Matilda went from house to house with all the other children. Apparently, it was normal for the cousins to have sleepovers. CJ and Ryan went to the same school, the toddlers were enrolled in the same daycare, and Bunny watched the kids under a year. The women had a perfect routine, one which Kendall had kept her kids from being involved in.

  “I ain’t got time for your fuckin’ ass to be starin’ in space,” Outlaw snapped.

  She cleared her throat. “I wanted my career,” she admitted. “But I want my husband and children.”

  “Kendall, my ass gonna ask you one more fuckin’ time cuz I wanna be sure. What the fuck you want.”

  “My husband and children,” she said without hesitation. “My family.”

  He studied her, then sighed and pulled open a desk drawer. Yanking out a thick envelope and slamming the drawer back, he leaned forward and held the envelope out to her. She unfastened the clasp and pulled out the papers, then rifled through the documents, finding a deed to a parcel of land, architectural designs, and articles of incorporation for Redding and Donovan Law Firm.

  “You saved my Megan,” he said flatly, glowering at her. “Most of the shit in your hand effective six months from now and only if John Boy ain’t divorcin’ you. Except the articles of incorporation. That shit effective immediately. Brooks under-fuckin-stand, I got a special fuckin’ bullet for him if he ever fuck over me a-fuckin-gain. You realize I ain’t fuckin’ playin’. You behavin’ or next time Johnnie will be fuckin’ dead. That mean if you fuckin’ peep at club business or look at a rival fuckin’ club, I’m fuckin’ him up. Part of Brooks’ job gonna be keepin’ you outta trouble, but you both gonna have equal ownership in the fuckin’ firm.”

  The papers blurred in her watery vision. How ironic it was that Outlaw was allowing her to return to work, when Johnnie would never go for it.

  “That’s what the fuck you want the most. All this recent bulllshit is cuz you ain’t practicin’ law.”

  “I-I told you I want—”

  He raised his hand to halt her. “I ain’t Johnnie, Kendall. Motherfucker got fuckin’ blinders on. To him, you either a fuckin’ saint or a fuckin’ cunt.”

  Sidling her eyes away, she swiped at her tears. “To you, I’m just a fuckin’ cunt, right?” she said quietly.

  For a moment, he stared at her. “I fuckin’ hate you. I ain’t ever gonna change that. But I fuckin’ realize you the most fucked in the head bitch, I ever fuckin’ met. You do shit, then do more shit to try and undo the other shit.” He eyed her with resentment. “I realize you fuckin’ human. You ain’t had to tell a motherfucker where Megan was, butcha did. Ain’t cuz you like her. It was cuz you know she family, too. Maybe, it was even for fuckin’ Johnnie. I ain’t knowin’ and findin’ out would mean talkin’ to you more than I fuckin’ need to, so fuck it. Your reasons your own. However, this the first fuckin’ thing you did since I been knowin’ you that I can fuckin’ respect.”

  “Meggie suggested this, didn’t she?” Kendall said, the first glimmer of hope curling into her.

  “Yep.”

  She chuckled through her tears. “I thought so.”

  He smiled. “She mighta suggested you and Brooks get the firm, but I ain’t had to do it.”

  “I know.” She looked at the deed to the property and held it up. “What about this? How does it work?”

  “That land’ll be for your ass, if you and John Boy stay married. I started to make that for the law firm, then I realize if he divorce you, it ain’t gonna be fair to him to have you on club grounds all the time. However, if he ain’t divorcing you, you got fuckin’ land, Kendall. Like Megan. My ass so sick of your bullshit, I could cleave you in fuckin’ two. Instead, I figure when you re-hex him and he take your ass back, you might be fuckin’ happier with land to call your fuckin’ own.”

  “But the house would still be in his name. And why didn’t you allow him to give me land? Do you have to control everything?”

  “Welcome the fuck back, Kendall,” he said with a sigh. “Why the fuck you think I got house plans. My ass willin’ to build a house for you to put that in your name, too. He ain’t did it cuz he ain’t think of it. I just want your ass to behave and I want that motherfucker happy so I ain’t got to blow him the fuck away. If I gotta step in and fix the situation, I will. It’s gonna be up to him to recognize that you a human bitch. You might got more flaws than the average motherfucker, but you who the fuck he chose.” He leaned back. “The funny fuckin’ part? You understand his ass, more than he do you. I can repay you for savin’ Megan by givin’ you a fuckin’ castle and hi-rise buildin’. Unless Johnnie get his head outta his ass, your marriage still doomed. My shit just temporary bandages to keep you two motherfuckers limpin’ along. Once that shit get ripped away and the fuckin’ ugly revealed again, your relationship either gonna live or die. Case fuckin’ closed, Kendall.”

  “Thank you,” she said softly, gathered her papers, and stood.

  “Kendall?” he called again, opening another desk drawer and pulling out a set of keys. He tossed them to her.

  Instead of catching them, she ducked.

  “Keys to your fuckin’ house. Megan thought it be best if you walk away from Johnnie before he get the fuck home. She said he asked you to fuckin’ leave and won’t even let you bring him home from the hospital, so he gotta see the consequences of his actions.”

  “But I don’t want to leave.”

  “The house fifteen minutes from here, and ten minutes from Charlotte and Brooks. Megan think your ass’ll be more humiliated if he make you leave.”

  All the happiness she’d felt fled. “If I leave, he said I can’t come on club grounds. That he’ll bring the children to me.”

  “Yeah, well, I ain’t got shit to do with that. John Boy gonn
a make you leave. Who the fuck know where he gonna put you? If you don’t want to make a pre-fuckin-emptive strike and get the fuck out, I ain’t got shit to say.”

  “But—”

  “By the fuckin’ way, that Ella bitch? Megan got Charlotte to talk to her. Ella’ll be your fuckin’ live-in housekeeper and cook.”

  “She’s the nanny.”

  Outlaw shrugged.

  “She agreed to this?” she asked.

  “I guess. Megan takin’ care of this shit from her hospital bed. She worried ‘bout you.”

  “She never, ever gets angry with me,” Kendall mumbled.

  Outlaw narrowed his eyes, and she winced.

  “Megan pisseder than pissed with you, but that ain’t meanin’ she ain’t rememberin’ you her sister-in-law. You family, Kendall. When the fuck you gonna get that through your thick fuckin’ head? In our family, my ass the only one who fuckin’ loathe you. Motherfuckers fed the fuck up with you, but they ain’t gonna turn their back on you, especially Megan and Roxanne. On the other hand, they ain’t interferin’ with Johnnie wantin’ you off the premises.

  She stooped and picked up the keys. Meggie had a point. If Johnnie drummed her off club premises, she’d be humiliated. But if she walked away… “Tell Meggie thank you.”

  Outlaw nodded.

  “Has the Valentine’s Day Ball been canceled?”

  “Nope.”

  “Oh,” she said glumly. “Although I can’t come on club grounds…this is a club-sanctioned event.”

  “Accordin’ to Megan and Roxanne, you on the fuckin’ plannin’ committee, so it’s a fuckin’ given that your ass attendin’.”

  She sagged in relief, then hesitated, and finally smiled at him before once again turning to the door.

  “Kendall?” he called yet again.

  “Yes?” she asked with a trace of annoyance.

  “You not pregnant, huh?”

  She didn’t know how to answer that. If she told the truth, he might get angry and shoot her. If she lied, she’d have to tell another lie to cover up why her belly wasn’t starting to grow after a few weeks passed.

  “Never fuckin’ mind,” he snapped. “Your silence sayin’ it all. I already figured it the fuck out.”