Seriously Messed Up: A Laugh Out Loud Romantic Comedy

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Seriously Messed Up: A Laugh Out Loud Romantic Comedy Page 50

by Luke Young


  “You poor baby.”

  “I’ve never even had a girl over before. And seeing you here… It’s weird, but I’ve had, like, semi-wood since we got here.”

  She gave him a sorrowful, sexy look.

  Brian whispered, “I’m convinced my parents haven’t had sex in twenty years. I once overheard my mom talking on the phone, like, ten years ago. She was telling a friend that at work, they were talking about oral sex, for some reason. It was a whole group of women, and my mother said, ‘Why would you want to put something like that in your mouth?’”

  Jillian scoffed. “I love putting that in my mouth.”

  “I know you do.”

  Placing her hands on his shoulders, she grinned. “We should try to do it every chance we get while we’re here.”

  “We should.” He nodded enthusiastically, more-than-completely on board. “There’s a tree house out back in the woods. We can sneak back there if we get desperate. Oh, and my parents go out to play Bingo every Thursday night. We can go nuts then. It’ll be weird, since I’ve never once had an orgasm in this house.”

  “Oh, my God.” She frowned. “I think Rob has jerked off three times a day since he was fourteen. The noise coming out of that bathroom, uh…”

  “That’s too much information.” Brian paused, thinking. “Oh, I did have that wet dream once when I was thirteen, and I think they hit me with the belt.”

  “They didn’t.” She stared at him in horror.

  “It’s a wonder I can get an erection at all.” She just looked at him, unsure what to say, and he added, “Just be nice to my mother—well, within reason anyway.”

  “Oh, I will. I’ll just keep thinking of the nasty things I’ll be doing to her firstborn son while I talk to her. That’s how I’ll smile.”

  “She’ll warm up to you eventually, I hope.”

  Giving him a sexy look, she placed her hand on his thigh. “You want me to put something like that in my mouth right now?” As she said it, blood headed that way. Before he could nod, there was a single knock at the door, and it swung open. Jillian pulled her hand away as Beverly’s smiling face appeared. “Would you like some dessert?”

  “Mom, you really shouldn’t barge in. What if she was getting dressed?”

  “I would hope that you wouldn’t be in here, then.”

  “Right, Mom.”

  Beverly stood, waiting.

  Sighing, Brian looked back at her. “We’ll be right there.”

  As Beverly walked away, Jillian whispered, “I’m going to do something so dirty to you tonight, your head is going to spin.”

  “Like what?”

  She looked confused for a moment. “Uh, I’m not sure. I’ll think of something. If not, the standard stuff I do is still pretty good, right?”

  “Oh, yeah… sure.” He nodded with a big smile.

  Jillian and Brian retuned to the table where Jim, Ed, and Beverly were already enjoying their dessert.

  “Are you feeling better, dear?” Beverly asked sarcastically.

  “Much better.”

  “Our church believes that any kind of sexual contact outside of marriage is a sin.”

  Brian gasped. “Mom.”

  “I’m just telling her why I used the word, ‘pornography,’ before. We’re just having an adult discussion about it.”

  As Brian gave his mother a look, Jillian was barely paying attention while staring at him as he sat directly across the table from her. “No, it’s okay, Brian,” Jillian began as she slipped off her shoe and lifted her foot to his groin. She pressed her toes into his penis, and he coughed. “My books do involve couples having premarital sex, but it’s what the market demands. If I was writing about only married couples, I don’t think I’d sell nearly as many books.” She massaged his penis with her toes while they each enjoyed a spoonful of ice cream.

  After choking a little on his, Brian sat up straight, and his shorts grew more crowded. Reaching down surreptitiously, he adjusted his underwear through his pants. His manhood slipped through the leg-hole and extended a bit more. He breathed out with relief.

  “You might want to consider going after a more sophisticated audience. You could write about something else.” Beverly stared smugly at her.

  Jillian took a deep breath and put on a fake smile. “You know, I may just consider that. Thank you so much for the suggestion.”

  Jim and Brian shared an odd look as they took in Jillian’s reaction. Returning her eyes back to Brian, she slid her toes slowly along the length of his now fully erect penis as it traveled down the leg of his shorts.

  His mouth shot open. “Is anyone else hot in here?”

  “Honey, maybe you’re catching a cold.” Beverly looked at him with sudden concern.

  “This is amazing,” Jillian said about the ice cream. “How do you like it, Brian?”

  She pushed down harder on his groin, and he groaned, “It is really, really, really good.”

  Smiling brightly, Jillian returned her attention to Beverly while her foot still attended to her man. “Your home is so lovely, Beverly. And you’ve raised such handsome sons.”

  “Thank you so much, dear.”

  “And Brian is such a good cook. I can eat whatever he makes. It tastes so good.” She gripped his package with her toes.

  “She…” Brian said in a high voice, which caused his family to give him a strange look. “… loves when I make, uh…” He trailed off when Jillian squeezed him again. He wore a strange expression, and his parents looked at him, confused. He tried to compose himself but failed miserably when she gently pressed her toes into his balls. Sighing, he looked at Jillian, desperately wanting to fill her mouth with, well, something he was close to making right now. “… pancakes. Yeah that’s what she likes.”

  Everyone at the table nodded in agreement.

  “I’ve never tasted a better one.” Jillian stared at him while licking her lips seductively.

  Brian cleared his throat. “Jillian, uh, I want to show you the tree house. Do you want to see it now, before it gets dark?”

  Picking up her glass, Beverly turned to her younger son. “Jim, why don’t you go with them?”

  Jim returned an odd look. “I guess, uh… Okay.”

  “Great,” Brian said a little sarcastically. “But first, Jillian, my stomach doesn’t feel right. Did you bring some of that medicine you have for… uh—”

  “I sure did.”

  Rising up from the table, Brian quickly turned away so no one could see his inflamed condition. Jillian swiftly followed, as Beverly said, “Brian, I have some Pepto if you need it.”

  “Thanks, Mom, but I’d like to try this first.” They headed to the hallway, and Brian added, “We’ll be ready to leave in two minutes… maybe less.”

  Jillian followed Brian to his bedroom and closed the door. She slipped down to her knees, as Brian ripped down his shorts, and she pressed his back against the door. His rock-hard erection sprang up, and she devoured it with her mouth, slurping loudly on it.

  “Shhh,” he said.

  Glancing over his shoulder at the John McEnroe poster he was leaning against, he grinned. For a moment, he felt like he was having a threesome with John. He shook his head thinking that John probably was the only guy on the planet he would allow to share his girl. After pushing those thoughts from his mind, he focused on the task at hand. It wouldn’t be long before someone was banging on that door. He needed to finish and do it quickly.

  She quieted down and went back to work. Gazing down at her, he groaned. She looked so cute doing that to him. Plus, this was fucking hot and somewhat dangerous. She moved her mouth back and forth over him with unrestrained enthusiasm. Turning it up a notch, she brought her hands into the mix, and ten seconds later, the mission was accomplished, but that didn’t stop her. Steadying himself against the wall with his hands, he bit his lip to avoid screaming out as she kept going and going with her unrelenting oral attention.

  When she was finally done with him, she r
ose up, staring dreamily into his eyes while licking her lips seductively. “So how was your first orgasm in the house?”

  “Wow. Freaking incredible!” He struggled to catch his breath. “But let’s get out of here before they come looking for us.”

  As Jillian and Brian walked through the woods to the tree house, Jim was two paces behind them. Stealing a glance at her backside, Jim smiled. “Wow. Mom was a little tough on you. I knew she wouldn’t be nice, but—”

  “I can take it,” Jillian replied. “So, do they keep you on a tight leash?”

  “When I’m home, but at school I can do whatever I want.”

  When they reached the tree, Jim climbed up first, and Brian let Jillian go ahead of him. After she climbed three rungs, he grabbed her calf with one hand to stop her. Lifting her skirt with his other hand, he planted his lips directly on her panty-covered parts. She held the wooden rung tight as she gasped. After extending his tongue forcefully into the cotton fabric, he pulled his head away and their eyes met.

  He whispered, “I feel like licking you for an hour… everywhere.”

  When Jim realized they weren’t following him, he called down, “You guys coming up?”

  Once all three were up in the tree house, Brian asked, “So, Jimmy, you have a girlfriend yet?”

  “I’ve dated a little, but I’m not exactly a chick magnet. I’ve been studying way too much. Plus, I don’t know what the hell to say to a girl, anyway.”

  Jillian gave him a genuine smile. “You are so cute. You should have more confidence. Just talk to girls. Be yourself, and they’ll be interested in you.”

  Waving off the compliment, embarrassed, he shifted gears. “So, should we play tomorrow?”

  “Definitely,” Brian said.

  As they sat in a circle on the wood floor of the crowded tree house, Jim stole a glance up Jillian’s short skirt. Engrossed in the sexy sight of her firm, perfect thighs leading to her tiny panty-covered parts, his eyes glazed over, and he quickly pulled himself together before either noticed.

  That night, Jillian, Brian, and Jim all slept in their separate rooms with their doors open, as was the household requirement. None of them could sleep. Holding his hard penis, Jim contemplated whether he could pull off a quick jerk but gave up when he heard his mother out in the living room. Brian was also nursing an erection and waited until he thought his mother had gone to bed before attempting a prison break.

  The wood floors in the old house creaked as he gingerly headed down the hall to the other side of the house toward his sexy fiancée. He was only fifteen feet from her sweet body, and he swore he could almost taste it. When he reached the living area, his mother appeared out of nowhere, standing right before him. Grasping his chest with his heart fighting to escape, he nearly screamed. “You scared the shit out of me.”

  She glared at him, and he corrected, “I mean, you scared the crap out of me.”

  “Now, what are you doing up?”

  “I, uh, just wanted to get a glass of water.”

  “Let me get it.”

  She returned with the glass as he sat in the living room on a chair. After handing the water to him, she sat on the sofa and gave him a wide-eyed stare.

  With his mind racing, they sat together in silence for nearly a minute as he nursed his water. When he’d finally had enough, he let out a nearly silent sigh. “So, are you sleeping out here tonight?”

  “I do sometimes lately. I feel a migraine coming on, and if I sleep sitting up, I might be able to head it off.”

  Hearing them talking, Jillian got up, poked her head out from the guest room and made eye contact with Brian, motioning with her finger for him to come to her.

  He stealthily nodded to her and, as he pointed to a picture on the opposite side of the room, asked, “Hey, Mom. Is that Uncle Joe?”

  Beverly got up and studied the picture as Brian mouthed to Jillian with his palms up, “SHE WON’T GO TO SLEEP. I CAN’T…”

  “Yes, that’s him.” When Jillian heard Beverly’s voice she ducked back into the room. “That was from that camping trip we all took.”

  Beverly returned to the sofa as Jillian poked her head back out. The horny couple looked each other in the eye. Grinning evilly, she lifted her shirt, exposing her gorgeous, full breasts to him. He returned a quick, sad you’re-killing-me look, then put his head in his hands.

  “What’s wrong, dear?”

  “Oh, nothing.” He took another sip and smiled. “I’m just tired. I’m going back to bed.

  “Okay, honey. I’ll be right here if you need me.”

  He opened his eyes wide as he looked at her, didn’t say a word, and headed back to his room with his manhood nearly three-quarters hard from Jillian’s show.

  In their respective rooms, Jillian and Brian silently masturbated. He pulled a sock he’d worn that day from the floor and made his deposit into it. Afterward, he balled it up, chucked it under his bed and vowed to remember to throw it away in the morning, before quickly falling asleep.

  Back in Miami, John and Victoria enjoyed their second date in as many days. He sat back in a bathtub and watched as the shapely beauty slipped in with him. Moving between his legs, she leaned back against his chest and closed her eyes. As her body gradually adjusted to the hot water, she sighed. “This feels good.”

  He put his hands on her neck and rubbed her gently. “And what we did before—how was that?”

  “Oh, that felt great.”

  “I wouldn’t say that I’m performing like I was in my twenties, but it’s not bad for a guy my age.”

  “I’m proud of you.”

  “I have you to thank.”

  “You did all the work.”

  Sliding his hands to her shoulders, he trailed them down her arms. “I got you a little something.”

  She opened her eyes and smiled. “Really?”

  “It’s over there, under that towel.”

  She moved to edge of the tub, her cute bottom popping out of the water for a moment. Glancing at it, he shook his head with a smile. She lifted up a towel to reveal a multicolored jeweled bracelet and beamed. “Oh, I love it.” She knelt in front of him as she placed the bracelet around her wrist and secured the clasp.

  “Thank you.” After leaning in to give him a quick kiss, she got back into position, with her back cradled safely on his strong pecs.

  He asked, “Are you dating anyone else?”

  “Not right now.”

  “Uh, what would you say if we kept it that way? I’d like to give this a try—you and me. What do you think?”

  She flashed her eyes. “You mean like a real boyfriend-girlfriend thing?”

  Moving his hands to her neck again, he massaged her harder. “Exactly.”

  “I could get used to this.” Groaning, she melted with his touch. “I haven’t had a boyfriend in seventeen years. I think I’d like to try it.”

  She turned, tilting her head up to reach his lips and they kissed.

  16

  At the Nash residence, everyone in the house woke up completely unsatisfied, including Mr. and Mrs. Nash, although Beverly would never admit it. Together, they all ate the breakfast Brian prepared, then after lunch, the three really, really unfulfilled younger people left to play tennis.

  At the local court, Jillian watched as Brian and Jim played. They were both fired up, and each gave it his all. Watching Brian closely, she dreamed of getting back to bed with him, in a place with no distractions and where you didn’t need to worry about anyone walking in. A room with a locked door, perhaps, she thought, then laughed out loud.

  She studied Jim’s stroke and thought he was a damn good tennis player. Better than both, she and Brian. He had a good body, too—very similar to her Brian. She looked back at her man; he caught her and smiled at her.

  “You want to hit with him a little?” Brian asked.

  “Definitely.”

  Jillian, wearing her sexy little tennis outfit, took Brian’s place and began to hit with Jim. She
noticed he seemed to smile a bit more while playing with her than he did with Brian. She wasn’t sure what that was about until she caught him staring at her rear end when she bent over to retrieve a ball. She didn’t mind so much, since she enjoyed playing with him as well. But after this discovery, she resorted to scooping up balls using her racket, rather than continuing to put on a show.

  As they got into the car to drive back home, Jillian realized she left her cell phone on the court and left the Nash brothers in the car. They both stared at her as she walked away.

  “So, Jimmy, what do you think of her?”

  “She’s amazing. How’d you get her?”

  He shrugged his shoulders, and they both shook their heads in disbelief.

  Tearing his eyes away from her, Jim glared at his brother. “Don’t fuck it up.”

  “I won’t.”

  Jim exhaled deeply. “I want a girlfriend. I mean, really, really want a girlfriend.”

  After pausing to watch Jillian bend over to retrieve her phone, Brian said, “Look at the bright side. Even with no girlfriend, now that you’re living at school, at least you can jerk off there.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “No privacy.”

  “How do you stand it?” Brian asked.

  “I don’t know. I just learned to live without. Every day on campus, I’m surrounded by hot girls wearing practically nothing.” Jim tightly grabbed the steering wheel. “I live with two roommates who never leave the room. Our bathroom has communal showers…” Slowly turning to Brian, Jim raised his eyebrows.

  “That sucks. So mom hasn’t loosened the noose, not even a little, so you could knock a quick one out at home? I mean, she’s got to be a—”

  “No.” Jim sighed. “Still, never a moment alone. Someone’s always popping in on you when you’re in the shower. No closed doors at night and the eagle-ear warden lurks just outside your room always.”

  “Wow.” Brian shook his head ruefully. Message received loud and clear. A young man in his prime with absolutely no privacy… This was some serious shit!

  Releasing his death grip on the steering wheel, Jim took a calming breath. “It’s all mind over matter.” Jillian approached the car, smiling at them both. “Now, with her around, it’s getting just a little more difficult.”

 

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