I started to scream again in fear, memories returning. Then I thought about what Chad and I had done so soon after being attacked. I tried to push him away. When he wouldn’t let me go, I cried harder and started to hit him trying to get him away.
“Get off me!” I yelled.
When Chad let go, I ran from the room. I cried on the living room floor, feeling like a trainwreck. I was scared and aroused, felt so dirty and was angry at Chad as well as myself. I was afraid Giovanni would never love me. My mind was reeling out of control. I felt like I was drowning.
Soon, Giovanni was behind me. He held me loosely with one hand as he rubbed my back. “I’m sorry we were talking about it. We care a lot about you.” He put both of his arms around me and squeezed me tightly. “I promise you’ll be OK at my place. I won’t talk about it again if you don’t want to.”
I leaned my head back on him. “I was so scared. Why’d he have to tear off my clothes? He touched so much of my body and he put his fingers in…” I sniffled. I couldn’t even say it. “He was gonna rape me.” I started crying harder.
Giovanni turned me around and sat me on his lap, as close to him as possible. I lay my head on his shoulder and clutched my hands around his muscular arms.
He quietly told me, “I wish I could have stopped him before he got there. I hate to see you so afraid. You mean so much to me. What can I do to help?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted.
“I think you may need therapy,” Giovanni advised.
Soon Chad knelt down on the floor next to us. “Hey, my housekeeper’s on her way here to clean up. I don’t want her to know Crystal’s business.”
Giovanni let me go and helped me stand up before he did as well. He held my hand as we walked back to Chad’s room. Chad had changed the sheets, which I was happy about. I didn’t want Giovanni to see any of the obvious evidence that Chad and I had slept together that morning.
I sat on Chad’s bed unsure of what I should do next. I felt like my life was falling down around me. I knew we had a show that night, but I didn’t know if I could handle that. Definitely I could not wearing the same style of clothes I usually wore. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to wear a skirt ever again. If had been wearing pants the night before, it would have been much harder for that nut to get so close to raping me. My skirt had provided easy access.
Giovanni sat next to me and put his hand on my knee. I jumped back. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to scare you.” He put his hand on my back instead. “Do you have any less revealing clothes? It might help you feel safer for a while.”
I turned to him. “I really don’t.” I wondered how he came to the same conclusion.
“Let’s go shopping then. It’s Saturday, and I got nothing else to do.” He picked up the duffel bag Chad had packed with my things. “Should we bring this? Are you staying with me tonight?”
“Yeah. I’ll stay with you, thanks.”
I got my purse and put my shoes on. Then I followed him to the front door. “Chad, I’m gonna stay with Giovanni, OK?” I could see in his face he didn’t want me to go. I could almost feel his heart breaking, but he didn’t say anything.
Giovanni opened the front door, but Chad’s pain was overwhelming me. “Wait for me outside.” As soon as the door closed, I ran to Chad and hugged him tight. “I’ll be right across the street. We’ll see each other more now. This is a good thing.”
I heard him start to cry as he clung to me. “Please don’t leave me. Baby, we can make this work, please. I’ll do anything to make you stay. Please, my baby girl, stay here. Don’t leave with him. I thought we…”
I interrupted him, not wanting him to say what we had done that morning. “I’m sorry. Chad, this is what I have to do.” I tried not to cry also. I touched his face and kissed his lips. “I wish things were different, but I have to think about me. Please understand.”
“Baby, no. Please. You can have your own room. I won’t do it again. I promise.”
I wiped his tears away and kissed him again. “That’s not the only reason. You know how I feel about him.”
“But what about that guy you’re seeing?” Chad asked. “Won’t he be pissed that you’re moving into Giovanni’s place?”
“And he’d like me living here, more?”
“I don’t know. But baby, I felt love from you this morning. I swear.”
I sighed. “I’m sorry.”
I kissed him again, but with as much passion as I could muster. I was breathless when we parted, but I felt it was a better good-bye than just walking away. Then I let him go and pulled away from him. I looked back at him when I got to the door. He was so upset, but I needed to do it for me. I had to try and be with Giovanni.
CHAPTER THIRTY FOUR
When I closed Chad’s door behind me, Giovanni hugged me. He didn’t pry, he just rubbed my back and stroked my hair for a while. When I looked up at him, he kissed my lips. That made me smile. I hoped he didn’t do it just to make me feel better.
With my bag slung over his shoulder, Giovanni and I walked to his building. He kept a hand on my back, but nothing more. We were both silent.
Once we were in Rosario’s old room, I put my purse down on the floor and lay on the bed to see if it was like Giovanni’s. I closed my eyes. It was nice. I felt it move and turned my head.
Giovanni was lying next to me on his side watching me. “Tired?” He put an arm around me.
“Yeah. I didn’t get much sleep last night.” I had such desire for him at that moment. It was so strong, my fear was pushed back. I couldn’t help but think about how good he made me feel in bed. How my heart filled with love as we moved together.
“Do you wanna take a nap first? We have hours to go shopping,” he said as he brushed the hair from my face. “I’ll wake you in an hour or two.”
I looked at him. “That’s a good idea, but I need a shower. I couldn’t take one last night.” I closed my eyes, trying to fight the memories. My tears fell anyway.
“I’m here.” He grabbed me and held me close. “I won’t let him get you again. I swear.”
I clung to him and cried, letting as much fear out as I could. He moved his hand over my back soothingly. I felt better just being in his arms, but knew he couldn’t hold me 24 hours a day. I was scared I would never be able to be alone and feel safe again.
It took a good half an hour for me to be able to let Giovanni go. Then he wiped away my tears and caressed my cheek. “Whenever you need me, I’ll be here for you. I promise. I care about you so much. I… I, uh… let me help you put your things away.”
Soon, we were sitting on the floor. I dumped everything out of the bag Chad packed, looking for clean clothes to wear. I separated clothes from toiletries. Giovanni folded and made orderly piles for me. Then he picked up a pair of brand new, really sheer panties.
“Wow, I wonder what you look like in these.” He blushed. “I didn’t mean to say that out loud. It’s just, after what you did to me this morning, I want you. I know that’s not gonna happen again for a while, if ever. I just wanna be here for you. To hold you when you need me and protect you.”
Maybe Giovanni would feel the same about me one day. My fear had completely left me by then. It was as if just his presence made me feel completely safe.
I picked up the matching bra and put it up against my chest. “Then you’d really like this.”
“I’m not gonna imagine you in that.” He turned redder.
He handed me the panties and I put them on the dresser along with the matching bra. Giovanni got up and put my clothes in drawers as I continued sorting. I put everything else on the dresser.
When I closed the bathroom door, I found no lock. Giovanni and Rosario were brothers, so I guessed they didn’t need one. Once in the shower, I realized Chad forgot my face wash. I was kind of picky about it, but would just have to use whatever Giovanni had. I didn’t see anything I could use on the shelf of his toiletries.
After I washed my hair, I still felt
dirty. I washed it again trying to shake the memories that started. I did my body the same way. Tears came to my eyes as I tried to scrub harder, but I just kept feeling him touch me.
Then there was a knock and I heard the door open. “Hey, sorry I need something from in here. I’m not looking.”
I called out to him, still sniffling. “Do you have anything I can wash my face with?”
“You OK in there?” he asked.
I started to cry more. “No! I can’t get him off me! I can still feel his hands all over me.”
“Crystal, I don’t know what to do,” he admitted. “I wish I could hold you.”
I opened the shower curtain. He was standing right next to the bathtub. He had a look of surprise on his face as he stared at my naked body. I ignored it and threw my arms around him. “Please make it go away,” I begged him.
He touched me gingerly. Then he soon pulled me out of the shower and held me close. He slowly moved his hands up and down my back. “It’s OK. He won’t touch you again. I’m here for you.”
When my tears had dried up, I felt better. I decided every time I felt the creep’s hands on me again, I would just imagine Giovanni holding me. “Thank you,” I whispered in his ear. Yet again, my fear was a distant memory and I just wanted him.
He pulled me closer and I felt his breathing get faster as his hand moved further down to my ass. “This ain’t easy you know.” I felt his cock stiffening. “I shouldn’t be touching you like this after what you went through. You need me to be only your friend now. I understand completely.”
I suddenly reached up and kissed him, strongly. His hands moved to my face and he kissed me back deeply. I felt his breath quicken some more. He backed me up to the wall and kissed me. He reached down and touched my breast.
“I want you so bad,” he said before he started to kiss my neck. Then his phone started to ring. He ignored it at first, but it kept ringing. He breathlessly pulled away and answered it. “I was… uh… nothing. What’s up, Chad?” He went under the sink and handed me face wash. Soon he walked out of the room, still talking.
I sighed, knowing that meant we were done. I reluctantly got back in the still-running shower and finished washing. But I was thankful that I couldn’t feel that crazy fan’s hands on me any longer.
When I came out of the bathroom, Giovanni was waiting for me. He put his hands on my waist. “I’m sorry. I got carried away. That’s probably the last thing you needed today.” He gently kissed my lips.
“I’m OK,” I assured him then went to my room.
When I started getting dressed, I realized Chad only packed skirts. I just couldn’t wear them. My T-shirt only came down an inch above my panties.
When I came out of the bedroom, Giovanni was sitting on the couch with his head back and eyes closed. I knew he did that when he was thinking. I smiled at him. He looked so cute that way. I hoped he was thinking of me.
I walked towards him and touched his hand. “Uh, Chad didn’t pack any bottoms but skirts. I’m afraid to wear them. I don’t know what to do.”
He opened his eyes and his mouth dropped a bit. “Damn, I, uh… Wow, you look hot like that.” He closed his eyes. “I’m sorry. You just make me so…” He looked at me again. “I know I need to hold back. I can. I will. You’ll see.”
He stood up. “I’ll see if I have anything you could wear.” Then he caressed my cheek. “You need to get some sleep. I can see it in your face. Please go lay down.” He took one long look at me then turned away.
“Thanks.” I replied.
I walked to my room and got up on the bed. I hoped the fear was really already gone. I did not like the way I felt on and off that whole day so far. I lay on the bed again, realizing I was more tired than I had thought. I felt my eyes closing quickly.
I woke up to the feeling of a hand on my panties. I opened my eyes. My attacker was on the bed pulling at my panties. Then he forcefully tore them off me. I tried to get up, but I couldn’t move. I felt my breathing speed up as my fear built. I tried to scream but heard nothing.
He didn’t bother with taking anything else off me. He opened his pants and pushed my legs apart. I started to cry, as he came closer. Suddenly I felt him inside me. I found my voice and started to scream over and over.
I heard, “Wake up, Crystal! It’s not real.” I sat up with a jolt, screaming with tears streaming down my face. Giovanni took me in his arms. “I’m here. No one’s gonna hurt you. It was just a bad dream, Crystal,” he said soothingly as he rubbed my back.
His words seemed to melt the dream away. I put my arms around him and clutched the back of his shirt, trying to force the fear away. “When will I stop seeing him?” I asked, not really expecting him to know the answer.
After I had relaxed, Giovanni loosened his grasp and kissed my forehead. “I wish I knew the answer to that, Crystal.”
He kept me close to him until I was calm enough to let go. Then he grabbed something from behind him. “Here.” He held up a pair of drawstring gym shorts. “This is all I could find. If you tie them tight enough they should stay up.”
“Thank you.”
After I took them from him I reached over and hugged him fiercely. I felt his hands touch my bare lower back as he returned the embrace. I closed my eyes, treasuring his touch. I wondered if he knew how I felt about him. I doubted it.
I wanted to kiss him, but I didn’t want to be rejected. So, I let go and he slowly pulled away. I felt his fingers touch my sides and the top of my panties before he let go completely.
Then I stood up and put the shorts on with my back to Giovanni. They were really baggy, but the string was long enough than they only fell to the top of my hips when tied. I felt Giovanni touch my back and pull up the shorts a little.
“I can see the top of your panties.” He was upset. “They’re way too big.”
I turned around. “It’s OK. I won’t have them on long. We’re going to get me clothes, right?”
“Yeah, I just don’t want anyone to bother you while we’re out.” He sighed. “Your tattoo looks really good like that though.”
He took my hand in his and pulled me to his room. He picked up a backpack and handed it to me. “Here, we can put your stuff in this.”
I looked at him puzzled. “Why do I need this?”
He went to his closet and pulled out motorcycle helmets. “Because I bought a Harley the other day and we’re taking it to the store.”
I got excited. I loved motorcycles and never rode on a Harley before. “Really? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I wanted to surprise you.” He put his hand on my face. “I knew it’d make you smile.”
I got my purse, put it in the backpack and then we left.
The bike was amazing. It was black with red and yellow flames on the gas tank and fenders. I put the backpack on before Giovanni handed me a helmet. When he started the bike, I got butterflies in my stomach. I blissfully got on, wrapped my arms around him and hung on.
He showed off a bit, going down the street fast. I grabbed him tighter. The feeling I got as we drove was incredible.
When we stopped at a red light, Giovanni reached back and patted my thigh. “You OK?” he yelled over the sound of the idling engine.
I squeezed him and replied loudly, “This is so cool!” He rubbed my leg just before the light turned green and we took off again.
When we got there, Giovanni took the backpack from me and threw it over his shoulder. Then he opened the door for me. “Thanks.” He was a real gentleman.
It was not a huge store, but we separated a bit after a while, when neither of us was paying attention. I was looking at a pair of pants that had medium sized, metal rimmed holes from the ankle to the hip. I held them up against me, trying to decide if I liked them.
“Those would look real sexy on you.” I turned around and found a stranger looking me up and down. “I like those panties you’re showing off and the tramp stamp is perfect for what I want to do to you.”
I backed away from him a bit, nervous. As he followed me and came closer, I started to panic. I don’t know why, but he scared me.
“What’s the matter, baby?” he said as he was within inches of me. “Did you think no-one would look? You’re really hot.”
I could feel tears starting to well up. “Please, just leave me alone.”
He smiled and put a hand on my hip, touching my skin. “Dressed like that. No one’s gonna leave you alone.”
“Take a hike,” I heard Giovanni say as he slipped his hand in mine. Giovanni was a few inches taller than the creep and a much more imposing figure with his physique. “The lady doesn’t want to talk to you.”
When we were alone, I grabbed Giovanni. My tears started to fall and he pulled me into his arms. “What am I gonna do at the club if that happens?” I asked him.
As he rubbed my back under my shirt, he kissed my forehead. “Chad and I will both be there. We’ll keep you safe. I promise.” He pushed my hair away from my face as I looked up at him. “Come on, let’s get what you need and go home.”
Once back in my room, Giovanni helped me put away my new clothes. Afterward, he looked me in the eyes. I felt like he was going to say something very important.
He caressed my cheek. “I… I…” He looked away. “Forget it.” He sighed, looked back at me and touched my cheek again. “Would you wear the pants with the metal holes tonight? I really like them.”
“Sure,” I replied with a smile.
“Um… Crystal… I kinda want you to know something… I…” He closed his eyes and sighed. “We’ll talk about it later. Why don’t you change? I like my shorts on you, but you look way too hot in them.” He put a hand through my hair. “I’ll be in the kitchen.” Then he kissed my cheek and left the room.
After putting on a new pair of shorts I went to Giovanni. He was taking stuff out of the refrigerator and putting it on the table. The radio was on and he was quietly singing along. I tried not to laugh; he sounded awful.
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