The Road to En-dor

by E. H. Jones

  MOÏSE (aside in excitement, ‘Mon Dieu!’) (Aloud): ‘What does he mean by friends?’

  SPOOK: ‘Not those he hates.’

  MOÏSE: ‘We don’t know if he hates us or not.’

  SPOOK: ‘Turks. He wants to speak to you himself to see if you are friends.’

  MOÏSE: ‘Mr. Jones is a English. Mr. Hill too, and I am Ottoman, but not a Turk. Let him speak to us, Sir.’

  SPOOK: ‘Are you ready? He is going to try.’

  MOÏSE: ‘All right.’

  The glass now moved round the board in short, jerky movements, but did not touch any letters. The jerky movements then stopped, and our Spook took control again.

  SPOOK: ‘He says the letters are not his letters, but he is going to give you a test with these letters. Take down carefully.’

  MOÏSE: ‘We are ready.’

  (The jerky movements of the glass began again, indicating that OOO was in control.)

  OOO: ‘INTCHESELGUIZAKHAYERENKIDEK.’37

  SPOOK: ‘Do you understand that?’

  MOÏSE: ‘I know that it is Armenian, but I cannot understand it because I do not know Armenian.’

  SPOOK: ‘OOO says “Thank you, that is exactly what he wanted to know. If you do not know Armenian you are no friend of his” – (Moïse, aside, ‘Mon Dieu!’) – and he bids you farewell, and may one called ASDUNDAD curse all Turks. He is angry and has gone.’ (NOTE. – The glass appears very angry.)

  MOÏSE: ‘Who will curse us?’

  SPOOK (angrily): ‘ASDU-I-DAD!’ (Moïse had noted down Asdundad in error.)

  MOÏSE (nervously): ‘Thank you, Sir, thank you, Sir. I have corrected spelling. What to do now?’

  SPOOK: ‘I can find out where the money is in another way. You are very stupid not to have understood simple Armenian, though it is not in Armenian characters. If you had understood he might have told you where the treasure is. (Moïse, aside, ‘Mon Dieu!’) But never mind, I forgive you. You have missed a good chance. (Moïse, aside, ‘Mon Dieu!’) I am sorry for you. However, in five days I shall be ready with a new plan, and I will begin to fulfil my promise and tell you how the treasure was hidden. The presence of OOO here tonight was a lucky chance that may not occur again. Good night, I am tired.’

  MOÏSE: ‘Good night, Sir.’

  SPOOK: ‘Good night. Hard luck.’

  Next day Moïse complained to us that the Commandant had cursed him for a fool (i) because he did not know Armenian, (ii) because his translation of the early part of the séance was not understandable in Turkish! The poor little man remarked that during the séance he understood everything, and knew quite well that the Spook was revealing valuable knowledge to us, but when he came to read it over afterwards he found that his former clarity of vision had departed, and the more he studied the record, the more fogged he became. Only one thing was quite clear – the strength of thought-waves varied inversely with the square of the distance.

  As this was precisely the item of knowledge we wished him to imbibe, Hill and I were thoroughly satisfied. We told him we also were fogged now, but no doubt we would understand it again some day.

  ‘But,’ Moïse grumbled, ‘that fool of a Commandant says I told lies to the Spook – because I said I understood when I didn’t! He will not believe I understood at the time.’

  ‘Oh, never mind him, Moïse,’ said Hill, ‘he’s an uneducated, incredulous ass.’

  ‘He is!’ said Moïse, with great fervour. ‘But in one thing he was right. I should have asked the name of OOO in this world.’

  ‘Why,’ I asked. ‘Don’t you know it already?’

  ‘Oh, yes,’ said the Pimple, ‘we know it. We only want to see if the name is the same – if it is the same treasure. But I can ask next time!’

  This was a corker! We dared not ask Moïse for the name of the owner of the treasure, and then reproduce it on the spook-board, for he might give us a false name as a test. Nor did we wish to repeat the hackneyed trick of pretending that Spooks have difficulties in giving names, for our Spook had been cheerily naming Maule, Gilchrist, and others right along. Of course, if the worst came to the worst, the Spook could forget the name, and prove from an eloquent and scientific passage in Raymond that this was a common failing with spirits.38 But we hoped to find a more original way out of the difficulty.

  Before the next treasure séance took place we had some success in dealing with the camp’s business, which will be narrated later. We met again for treasure-hunting from 8.15 to 11.30 p.m. on 19th March. There were the usual preliminaries. Then the Spook said – (I again quote the record):

  SPOOK: ‘Now, about OOO. I have found out a lot about him.’

  MOÏSE: ‘Had you much work before you found out? And will you tell us how you did it?’

  SPOOK: ‘It is very hard, and it is difficult to tell you about him, because he and his friends are struggling to control the mediums.’ (The glass here began to move jerkily, indicating OOO.) ‘Look out. Stop!’ (We stopped, in obedience to Moïse, who was greatly excited.)

  SPOOK: ‘When the glass begins jerking like that it means I have lost control, and the mediums must stop at once, as OOO is in control. Do you understand?’

  MOÏSE: ‘We understand. Would you like to tell us what sort of a struggle it is?’

  SPOOK: ‘Mental struggle, but do not go into side questions tonight, as there is much opposition.’

  MOÏSE: ‘All right, Sir.’

  SPOOK: ‘Keep cool, Moïse! You are too excited, and will influence the mediums.’

  MOÏSE: ‘Right, Sir. I will keep cool. Will you go on?’

  ‘SPOOK: ‘OOO was a shrewd man. He was closely connected with a certain secret organization39 about which the Sup.40 has heard. As soon as Russia declared war he foresaw that Turkey would come into it, and at once began quietly to –’ (the glass began jerking again).

  MOÏSE: ‘Stop, Jones! Stop, Hill! Stop! Stop! Stop!’ (As Hill and I were in a ‘half-trance’ Moïse had to shout loudly to stop us. After a pause the Spook continued) – ‘realize his wealth and convert it into gold. Damn you! Go away!’ (Glass jerked again.)

  MOÏSE: ‘Stop, Jones! Stop, Hill! Stop! Stop!’ (We stopped.)

  MOÏSE (aside): ‘Why was he damning us?’

  SPOOK: ‘I was talking to OOO.’

  MOÏSE: ‘I understand.’

  Figure 22: ‘Stop, Jones! Stop, Hill! Stop!’

  SPOOK: ‘Well, before Turkey declared war OOO began to bury his gold.’ (Jerks again, and a pause.) ‘He hid it in a place known only to himself, nor did he ever tell anybody to his dying day. He was afraid to tell his relations in case they might reveal the secret under torture. Well, when Turkey entered the War, OOO contributed a large sum of gold to the Armenian Association, and realized his debts as far as possible. When the Armenians joined the Russians, he knew a massacre was likely. His difficulty then was this: if he told nobody where the money was hidden, then he might be killed and his family would derive no benefit from his wealth. On the other hand, if he told his family they might reveal the secret under pressure. Do you know what he did? This is where I shall meet strong opposition. I want to see if the mediums are in good tune. Tell them to rest a moment, and we will see if they are in good tune.’

  MOÏSE (to Jones and Hill): ‘Rest a moment. Rest a moment.’ (We took our fingers off the glass.)

  JONES and HILL (absolutely simultaneously, and à propos of nothing): ‘I say, Moïse, we want a walk tomorrow!’

  MOÏSE: ‘How do you think they are? Do you think they are in tune? Are you satisfied?’

  SPOOK: ‘That was quite good. Don’t you think so, Moïse?’

  MOÏSE: ‘Yes, I think so.’

  SPOOK: ‘It was very nearly trance-talk – well –’ (angrily to OOO) – ‘Now see here, I am stronger than you! You may as well give up. I am going to tell in spite of you! Moïse, if I am interrupted –’

  MOÏSE: ‘Stop! Stop!’ (Moïse was very excited and thought the Spook had said ‘I am interrupted.’ A
fter a pause we continued):

  SPOOK: ‘I repeat, if I am interrupted, as the mediums are in tune, let us fight it out with OOO.’

  MOÏSE: ‘Yes, I understand.’

  SPOOK: ‘Take down carefully! The opposition may sometimes manage to get to the wrong letters, but take everything down.’

  MOÏSE: ‘I will try. Try to write slowly because I could make mistakes. I will do my best. I am ready.’ (At this point the glass began moving very slowly in evident effort, getting near a letter and then being forced away. Moïse said afterwards that he could see the whole fight going on, and that it was wonderful to watch. Both mediums were affected, breathed heavily, and got very tired. The struggle is indicated in the text by capitals where resistance was greatest. The remarks in brackets are explanatory notes and ejaculations by Moïse. The portions in brackets and italics were those written by the opposition, when they succeeded in getting control, though of course Moïse only discovered this afterwards. Moïse, unfortunately, forgot the Control’s injunction to keep cool: he got more and more excited, with disastrous results, as will be seen below.)

  SPOOK: ‘OOO therefore made THREE C-L-U-E-S A-L-L ALIKE. (Asduidad! Asduidad!) One named the place from which to M-E-A-S-U-R-E, one the DIS-T-ANCE, and the third gave the D-I-R-E-C-T-I-O-N.’ (Quickly.) ‘Rest – very good! Very good. Rest.’ (Note: Mediums exhausted.)

  SPOOK (continuing after a rest): ‘Well, he wrote out these three clues on three pieces of paper; each was written in a peculiar way so that nobody would guess they were clues to treasure, if they were found. He then took three pieces of paper and W-R-A-P-P-E-D a S-A-M-P-L-E in each, enclosed each in a S-E-P-A-R-A-T-E R-E-C-E-P-T-A-C-L-E AND B-U-R-I-E-D (Asduidad! Asduidad!) E-A-C-H separately having first covered each receptacle with a thick coating of fat to prevent rust. Good. Very good. One more struggle, and that will be enough for tonight. Rest.’ (Mediums rested.)

  SPOOK (continuing): ‘Now his fear was if he told one man where all these were buried that man might dig them up and then keep the treasure; so he said nothing about treasure to anybody. His plan was this: he selected three persons he knew were likely to remain alive; let us call them by their names, WHICH W-E-R-E (Asduidad! Asduidad!) Steady! they are beating me.’ (Moïse, excitedly, ‘My God!’) ‘Did THEY SAY THAT WORD, WORD WORD?’

  MOÏSE: ‘Yes.’

  SPOOK: ‘And why did you help them, Moïse? You called too, and that has beaten me.’ (Moïse, aside, ‘My God!’)

  SPOOK: ‘There you go again. I am BEATEN. (What did you say, Moïse, what did you say? Moïse! repeat those ejaculations!)’

  MOÏSE: ‘I said “My God!”’

  SPOOK: ‘(Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!) Oh, Moïse, I can never give the names now! Three times you called on your God. Three times they succeeded in doing the same! I am beaten! Rest. I will explain.’ (Mediums, who were now utterly exhausted, rested.)

  During the pause, Moïse accused himself, but could not understand why the Control should have laughed. The Spook apparently must have listened to Moïse’s remarks, for he gave the following interesting explanation.

  SPOOK: ‘No, no, Moïse, you do not understand. Owing to your saying that ejaculation twice, I had lost control. They’ (emphatically) ‘took charge and made you say it a third time. Then they burst out laughing. It does not matter much. It makes it a little harder for you, because henceforth they can always stop me from giving the name.’

  MOÏSE: ‘I am very sorry. I could not know that the fact of saying “My God!” would make such a difference.’

  SPOOK: ‘The mediums are not to blame. The reason why your saying those words made such a difference was because They’ (OOO and his friends) ‘were saying the same thing. That puts you in tune with them instead of with me. It was for this reason I warned you at the beginning not to get excited. I never say anything without cause.’

  MOÏSE: ‘I am very sorry indeed, Sir.’

  SPOOK: ‘Never mind, listen! OOO went to each of the three separately. What names shall we give them to distinguish them?’

  MOÏSE: ‘I do not understand, Sir.’

  SPOOK: ‘I’ (emphatically) ‘cannot name them now.’

  MOÏSE: ‘Call them AAA, YYY, and KKK.’

  SPOOK: ‘Yes. OOO went to AAA secretly, and said to him, “I have hidden a certain thing in a certain place.” He described exactly the place where the first clue is hidden. He said to AAA, “If I die, send for YYY, and do what he says.” Then he made AAA swear a great oath never to reveal what had been told him. He then went secretly to YYY and told him where the second clue was buried. He said, “If I die, someone will send for you and show you a token. When that happens send for KKK.” He gave tokens to both AAA and YYY. Then he went to KKK, and, putting him on oath, he told him where the third clue was buried, and said, “If I die, two persons will send for you. You will know them by their tokens. When this happens all three of you go to my heir, and tell him what I have told you.” YYY and KKK are dead. I must stop, as the mediums are getting exhausted.’ (Mediums rested.) (Continuing): ‘No more about the treasure tonight.’

  MOÏSE: ‘I am sorry for what I said.’

  SPOOK: ‘All right. It does not matter. We can get round it. What else do you want to ask?’

  MOÏSE: ‘Mr. Jones wants to know if he and Mr. Hill can have a little more food tomorrow.’41

  SPOOK: ‘Certainly. And listen! They may have anything they want for twenty-four hours. I give them a complete holiday because they have done very well tonight. After twenty-four hours they must begin living on bread alone – no cooked food. This is necessary to counterbalance the mistake made by the sitter tonight. Twenty-four hours’ freedom to do what they like, then semi-starvation till first clue is found. Tomorrow at noon I shall give some advice to the Sup. Next treasure séance after five days. Good night.’

  MOÏSE: ‘Good night, Sir.’

  Moïse was almost in tears at the failure. Over and over again he abused himself for having forgotten the Spook’s injunction to keep calm. He explained, pitifully, that he had not intended to name the Divinity. ‘Mon Dieu!’ is a common, everyday expression of surprise in France, where he had been educated, and he had merely used the English equivalent. Besides, he did not know that ‘Asduidad’ was the Armenian for God, as the local Armenians pronounced the word ‘Asdvad’. How was he to know he was getting into tune with the opposition? If he had only kept silence, we would have got the names, and it would not have taken long to make their owners tell what they knew! Now the names were hidden for ever! And so on.

  We consoled him, and saw him to the gate, for he was very excited and very nervous as to what the Spook might do to him. Then Hill and I waltzed together in the little yard, for we had got out of the difficulty as to the name of the hider of the treasure, and the blame lay not with the Spook, nor with us, but with the Turks. We had also created a most useful ‘opposition’ and taught the Turks – by experience – that the Spook depended largely for its success on our conduct, and on that of the Pimple, the Cook, and the Commandant. Lastly the Pimple’s only criticism of our Stevensonian treasure story had been to marvel at the cleverness of OOO. He had swallowed the yarn whole.

  From our window we could see South Hill gleaming white in the moonlight. Beside a rock in the snow the first clue lay buried. With luck, we’d dig it up quite soon, and photograph the Commandant in the process. Hill took extra pains in his practice at palming the camera that night.

  And next morning the poor little Pimple came to us more nearly in tears than ever. His face was very red. The Commandant, he told us, had just smacked it because he had called three times upon his God.

  ‘And indeed,’ wailed the Pimple, ‘perhaps I should have known, for three is a mystic number!’

  But all the same he shook his fist in the direction of Kiazim Bey’s office.

  Chapter XV

  In Which the Spook Puts Our Colonel on Parole in His Turn, Saves the Hunt Club, and Writes a Speech

  In the interval between the
treasure séances we interfered as much as possible with the administration of the camp, the Spook butting in wherever an occasion offered with suggestions for the amelioration of the lot of our comrades. Our most successful effort was in connection with the Hunt Club.

  Shortly before we had got ourselves locked up, some fifteen or twenty officers had decided to form a Hunt Club. The idea was to purchase greyhounds, and, with Kiazim’s permission, to hunt once or twice a week over the hills in the neighbourhood. The membership of the Club was strictly limited, for it was thought that Kiazim would not allow more than a few officers to be out at the same time, as the number of spare sentries at his disposal was small.

  Hill and I knew no more of the matter than that the idea was being entertained by a select few, and was being kept secret. A few days after we had been imprisoned the Pimple informed us that the Commandant had granted permission for the Club to be formed, that a couple of long dogs had been bought, and that there was a good deal of ill-feeling in the camp amongst the eighty odd officers who had been left out in the cold and were not members of the combine which had made this ‘corner’ in cross-country exercise. We decided to try to get Kiazim to extend his permission not only to members but to anyone who wanted to hunt. But we could not see how to interfere.

  On the 15th March we were informed by the Pimple, in the course of his usual daily visit, that the Commandant was ‘what you say in a hole’. It appeared that, when he gave permission for the formation of a Hunt Club, he had overlooked a standing order which strictly forbade such organizations. Communications had now been received from Constantinople drawing his attention to the order and reiterating the prohibition of all hunting for prisoners.

  Constantinople orders must be obeyed, so Kiazim was going to the camp next day to withdraw his permission and close down the Club. That night Hill and I discussed the matter and formed our plans. We must interfere to save the Hunt Club. We decided to pit the authority of the Spook against that of the Turkish War Office.