Dirty Little Virgin: A Submissives’ Secrets Novel

by Michelle Love

  “I think he’ll be just fine. I have faith.” I take her hand in mine as they put me right up next to her.

  “We’ll have you back in your room soon,” Dr. Love tells us. “After tomorrow you both will be released and you can finally go home. As long as things continue to improve.”

  My heart lurches as I think about how long I’ve wanted to go back home. But it was supposed to be a good thing. Leaving my son in here is not a thing I planned on or ever wanted.

  “I’m sorry, Kip,” Peyton says and I can see the glimmer of tears starting up again.

  “No! You are not to act like this is anything you had any control over. We have to be strong for him now. All that weakness you’ve been feeling while you try to blame yourself has to be stopped. No more of it. Do you understand me?” I ask with the sternest face I can muster.

  Peyton swallows and takes in a deep breath. “Okay, Kip. Thanks for reminding me what I need to keep my mind on.”

  Keeping us both strong is all I can think about right now as my own mind seems to be on the edge.

  What will we do if he doesn’t make it?

  Peyton

  Two weeks have past and Christmas is near. My family had to go back to Texas since they had stayed as long as they could away from their jobs. Today Max and Lexi and their children are coming.

  I haven’t formally met them yet. Kip has told me stories about them though and I feel like I know them already. Their twins were born early and Kip thinks they might be able to help us feel better about Paxton.

  Since he’s been born, he’s gained a pound and doesn’t have to have a breathing tube anymore. He still has one IV in and sleeps most of the time. He’s eating on his own though and soon they’ll let me feed him straight from the old breast.

  I can’t believe how excited I am to get to do that. It’s not something I ever thought about doing before. Kip and I have been reading everything we can get our hands on to take the best care of our little preemie we possibly can.

  Our little boy has blue eyes like his daddy’s. They tell us they could change later, but I hope he keeps them. His little head is the size of a small apple and every once in a while, he makes a little cooing sound.

  Kip has gone to the airport to pick up his friends. I waited here as there are five of them, three in car seats.

  My phone rings and I see it’s the young woman from the airport, Rachelle. I talked to her once after we met, but it’s been a while. “Hi there,” I answer.

  “Hi, Peyton. How are you doing?” she asks.

  “I’m good and you?”

  “Good too. I’m going to the hospital tomorrow to visit a friend and thought maybe I’d go at the same time you’d be there seeing your little boy. I can’t wait to meet him,” she says.

  “That would be great. I’m going up there about nine in the morning. I’d love to see you again.”

  “Good. So everything is going good with the baby, no complications?” she asks.

  “He is making steady progress so far. Once he reaches five pounds, we can bring him home. I have to admit though, I am terrified of taking care of him on my own. Some friends of Kips are coming to stay the week with us and they have a baby I’m going to practice on,” I say with a laugh. “You know what, you should come on Christmas Eve. We’re having a party and I’d love you to be here.”

  “Then I certainly will be,” she says. “So, I’ll meet up with you tomorrow morning. I’m super glad you and Kip made it all work out.”

  “Yeah, me too. He’s pretty awesome. He brings me something every single day. Flowers, jewelry, books, he’s a sweetheart. I think he’s going to be an awesome dad too.”

  “That’s great. I’m happy for you guys. I’ll see you tomorrow then, bye.”

  As I end the call I can hear noise coming from the garage and go out to find Kip has pulled in and people are spilling out of his truck.

  “Here she is,” Kip says as he holds out his arm, gesturing to me. “My baby momma.”

  I roll my eyes at his little joke and bat at his shoulder as I approach him. “Stop that. How was the trip?” I ask the pretty blonde lady, who must be Lexi, as she unstraps a wiggly little boy from his car seat.

  “Almost bearable,” she says as she places the three year old who must be Zane on the floor. “I have never been happier to have a private jet. The baby cried for the first forty-five minutes and Zoey threw up. She’d found a bag of candy from Halloween and had hidden it in her little backpack. The stinker was secretly eating it and then her tummy started to hurt and Kablooey! She puked all over the seat.”

  I extend my hand. “Peyton, nice to meet you, Lexi.”

  She looks at my hand and pushes it aside and gives me a hug. “Come on now, girl. We’re from Texas, we hug.”

  I laugh and hug her back. “Wasn’t sure if you were as Texan as I am.”

  “One hundred percent,” she says with a laugh.

  On the other side of the truck her husband, Max, lets the little boy’s twin sister, Lexi, down and she runs straight to Kip. “Hunky Kip, pick me up.” Her little arms are open wide and her smile matches.

  Kip picks her up, and she runs her arms around his neck and buries her face in it. “Did you eat a bunch of candy, you naughty girl?” he asks her.

  “Uh huh and I got sick and barfed it all up too. I won’t do that again,” she says.

  Lexi gestures to the tall, well built, and very handsome dark haired man who stands up, holding the five-month-old, Zakk. I smile and say, “There’s my baby.”

  Lexi laughs. “That’s my hubby, Max, holding your training baby.”

  I walk up to him and hold my arms out. “May I?”

  Max smiles at me. “Ready to get right to it, huh?”

  I nod and the little boy comes right to me and pulls on a piece of my hair, putting it right into his mouth. I pull it away from his little fist, gently and turn to go back into the house. “Who’s a cute baby?” I ask him as if he’s going to tell me.

  I hear Lexi from behind me. “She is great, Kip.”

  Kip chuckles. “I know.”

  I think we will all get along just fine!

  Kip

  A silver glow surrounds Peyton as she pounds away at her laptop. We’re in bed and she’s working on her next novel. This one is about Lexi and Max’s love story. She found all their trials and tribulations fascinating and immediately asked for their permission to make a fictitious tale out of it.

  They’ve been here three days and tomorrow is our big Christmas Eve party. I have the twins’ ponies hidden in a barn at the very back of the property and I’m going to have Santa deliver the adorable things to the twins tomorrow night. There are sure to be squeals of delight.

  Peyton stops for a second and looks at me. “Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. They let me feed Pax on my very own today.”

  “I wanted to be there for that,” I say a bit disappointed. “Why didn’t you call me? I would’ve dropped everything and came.”

  She gives me a frown. “He was hungry right that very minute. He isn’t like a grown up that you can tell to wait. He was wailing like a banshee. Anyway, it was nice.”

  I run my hand over her very large breast. “So, it’s official. I have to give them up and let him have them.”

  “Yep. Sorry.” She leans over and puts her lips to mine. My body heats in an instant and I have to push her gently back.

  “You are off limits for another three weeks, three days, and four hours.”

  Her smile makes me smile even though I am a bit frustrated. “You have it down to the hour, how sweet.”

  “I do and you might want to mark the calendar. That’s a Tuesday, January the fourteenth and I’ll be bothering you at approximately three in the morning.” I run my fingers over her delicate collar bone and conjure up the picture I have of her in my mind.

  Draped in white lace, she’ll be lying on our bed, waiting for me to make her mine all over again. Only at that time, she’ll be my wife. I have a secret plan
to marry her on that day at midnight.

  Everyone will be here. We got our marriage license last week and I’ve been putting her off on picking a day or a venue. She thinks I’m having cold feet and not pushing me about it.

  Our wedding rings are ready at the jewelry store and I’ll pick them up that day, but in secret. Our parents will be here to take care of the baby for the night, so we’ll have all the time we need to get to know one another intimately again.

  I foresee an all-nighter, and perhaps into the morning, since we can’t begin until three in the morning after all.

  She snaps the computer shut and snuggles down in the bed. “If Max and Lexi can make it through all the things they did, and the twins made it through being born early, then Pax will make it too. I just know it. I just know the bad times are behind us, Kip.”

  As much as I love optimism, I don’t like tempting fate. “Sure, it’ll be good.” I lie back and turn over, away from her. I have a hard time cuddling her without wanting to take her.

  She sighs and turns away too. I suppose she has the same problem I do. I can’t wait to be able to touch her again. It seems like forever and this living almost like siblings is awful.

  Peyton

  Since we’ve been home, and the baby is no longer inside me, it seems Kip wants little to do with me. I mean he’s nice and helpful, but he never wants to kiss. He hugs me every now and then, but it feels like a platonic hug and always he’s quick to let me go.

  I have to wonder if he’s blaming me for the baby being born early and his band mates hating his guts. Bobby went on one of those celebrity shows and spilled the beans about the band breaking up and raked Kip over the coals. Oh, and me too. He never said my real name, only calling me Yoko. He was a real ass and I wish like hell he would stop being like that.

  He and Kip were friends since they were in seventh grade. He’s just being selfish and acting as if it’s all my fault. The hard part is I agree with him. That makes me even madder. I hate it when pig-headed men are right.

  Kip would be thinking of nothing but strutting his stuff all over the stage if it wasn’t for me. He acts like that isn’t the case but it is. I catch him messing with his guitar and writing little songs all the time, so I know the bug is still in his brain to make music.

  Rachelle and I had lunch after I introduced her to my little man, Paxxie. Kip hates that I call him that. He says it sounds like a girl’s name. But I can’t help it. It just comes out of me. I call Lexi and Max’s baby, Zakk, Zakkie, all the time. It must be one of those idiosyncrasies that I have.

  We ate in one of the little cafes in the hospital and she left. I’m on my way back up to make one more check on my little man before I go back home. As I step off the elevator, I nearly run into Bobby.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” I ask as I have no idea why the man would be on the pediatric floor.

  “Nothing,” he says as he brushes past me and onto the elevator.

  I spin around and step back inside it just before the doors close. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you,” I say.

  “Shit!” he says as he looks away. “I bet you want to jump my ass about the talk shows. They invited Kip to come on them too. He had every opportunity to defend himself. He decided not to. I assume so he could stay up your ass.”

  I gesture around me. “If he’s so up my ass, where is he now, Bobby?”

  He looks a little confused. “Where is he?”

  “He’s at home with our guests, his friends from Houston. And can I ask why you’re here?” I level my eyes on his.

  Moving his weight to the other foot and crossing his arms he says, “I check in on the baby at least once a day, if you must know.”

  My eyebrows raise. “Wow! No one has told us about that.”

  He grins. “I have a certain young nurse I exchange pleasures with and she allows me to see Pax. I care about the kid.”

  “Have you held him?” I ask.

  He shakes his head. “I would never go that far. I’ve looked at him and talked to him and been updated on his progress.” His eyes light up. “I heard you got to feed him, like for real feed him. That’s great.”

  I stop the elevator and push the button to go back up to the pediatric ward. “How about you come with me up to see him and you can hold him. I’m sure he’d like that.”

  “Really?” he asks as he shifts his weight back and forth. “You have to hate me.”

  “I hate no one. Well, that’s not true. I hate the person who invented Dr. Pepper. That shit is addictive and they should put a warning label on it. But other than that, I hate no one.” The doors open and I take him by the hand.

  “Yoko, are you sure?” he asks.

  “I am.” I tug him along with me and the young hot nurse he apparently is trading pleasure with sees us and her eyes fly open and she looks like she’s about to pass out as she goes pale.

  I open the door and smile at her. “Hi, Effie. Bobby told me everything and don’t worry, I’m not mad. I’m glad you let him in on Pax’s condition. And I’d like you to pull Pax out of his bubble and let Bobby hold the little monster who will be tormenting his Uncle Bobby in just a few years.”

  She blinks and looks back and forth between us. She finally shakes her head and takes Bobby’s hand and leads him to the rocking chair next to Pax’s incubator.

  I stand back and let Bobby have his moment with his best friend’s baby. He looks at tiny, sleeping Pax as Effie places him into his arms. “Hi there, buddy,” he whispers.

  Tears well up and I immediately wipe them away and stop. I want to see this. Bobby coos and Pax takes his finger and wraps his tiny hand around it. Bobby looks up at me. “I think he likes me.”

  “What’s not to like. You’re great. Pig-headed and can’t see what the future could hold for you, but great.” I move closer and put my hand on his shoulder and look down at my little guy. “You know, I think Silas is the problem. Kip wants to make his own songs, and he’s working on that a lot. Are you only a rock kind of guy or are you up for other types of music?”

  He looks up to me and smirks. “Girl, I can play anything. I know Kip’s not a fan of what we have to play, but it pays well.”

  “There is more than one way to make money from music. Tours don’t have to happen and people can make money off what they like. If they have the talent to get it out there.” I stroke Pax’s little head, and he lifts one shoulder as I do. “Come to our Christmas party tomorrow night. It starts at eight.”

  I cut my eyes to Effie who seems to be hovering near us. “Wear red, all the women are.”

  She smiles. “Really?” Her eyes go to Bobby. “Oh, sorry. You might not want to take me.”

  I pat Bobby on the shoulder. “Nonsense, he’d love to take you to our party. Wouldn’t you, stud?”

  A smile he gives me and then he looks at Effie. “It would be an honor to take you, Ef.”

  She giggles and claps her hands. “OMG! Yes, I’d love to go!”

  I look at Bobby. “This will be our little surprise to your best mate, okay?”

  He nods and looks back down at Pax. “You know what, Yoko? You aren’t half bad. I can kind of see why my mate has a crush on you.”

  “And I can kind of see why he has a crush on you too.”

  Kip

  The day of the big party has arrived and I watch my girl come down the stairs in a flowing, red, lacey gown. Her blonde hair has been highlighted and curled. Her make-up has been done by an expert and she looks like a movie star.

  I give a wolf-whistle as she comes to me. “Where did my country mouse slip off to and who are you?” Her hand goes right into mine and I fold my arms around her as I take her into my arms. A kiss on the tip of her nose I leave. “You are gorgeous, baby.”

  “Thanks, you are too,” she says just before she puts her lips on mine.

  Our guests await and I couldn’t take her back upstairs to our bedroom if I wanted to. I sigh and pull my mouth from hers. “We better see to our gues
ts.”

  She nods and smiles. Her arm loops through mine as we make our way to the room she calls the Christmas tree room as its huge and the Christmas tree is at its center. “This is so grand and auspicious,” she says as we enter the room.

  I chuckle and kiss her cheek. “It is, isn’t it?”

  Everyone is here. Both our families and Max’s family. His house manager, Hilda, even flew up. She taught the cook that we hired how to make some of her famous Mexican food and I fear obesity may be in our future as her food is so good it’s hard to stop eating it.

  Stepping from behind the tall and full Christmas tree as we walk in is Bobby and I nearly slip as I stop so quickly. “Hi,” I say and look at him as he’s dressed in a nice black suit and I barely recognize him as he’s had a haircut and shave.

  “Hi,” he says. “Hey, sorry, okay?”

  I smile and nod. “Okay.”

  Peyton pulls away from me a bit. She gives me a slight shove. “Hug the man, babe.”

  I open my arms and so does Bobby and we hug. I clap my hand on his back and he does mine the same way. “I missed you bro,” he mutters.

  “Missed you too,” I say. “Glad to have you back.”

  I notice a timid young, dark haired woman with very pretty skin standing back. She wears a lovely red dress and I narrow my eyes then recognize her as one of our son’s nurses. “Effie?”

  She waves her small hand at me. “Hi, Kip.”

  I look at Bobby and lean in close so she can’t hear me. “How’d ya find her, mate?”

  A sheepish grin he wears as he answers, “Visiting your son, mate. She’s cute, huh?”

  “Visiting my son?” I ask, completely confused.

  Peyton takes my arm. “I’ll explain everything later. We have other guests. And Santa is on his way from what I’ve heard.”

  Peyton

  Stars fill the night sky as Zane and Zoey ride their ponies in the front of the mansion. The night is chilly so Lexi and Max tug the kids off their new favorite things in the whole world and we all retreat inside to get some hot chocolate and wind the Christmas Eve party down.