Dirty Little Virgin: A Submissives’ Secrets Novel

by Michelle Love

  After Mike and Molly had left, Finn sat down at his desk, Steve leaning against it.

  “You okay, boss?” At thirty-two, Steve Hannigan had been Finn’s deputy for just over two years, had transferred to the island from the city. He and Finn had gotten along from the first day, enjoyed working together. Steve had never been a man to socialize particularly, and so their friendship was confined to work. Lately, though, he’d watched as his boss had become increasingly depressed. He seemed like a broken man, Steve thought. On an island like this, everyone knew everyone else’s business…with George’s murder and now this, their usually quiet island had become a hub for gossip, for nosey journalists and the island’s police – really just Finn and his two deputies – had become stretched to the limit. And then there was Finn’s wife, Caroline. He’d always disliked the spiteful redhead. He’d not warmed to her the first time Finn had introduced them, her spoiled princess petulance, her inept flirting with him, seemingly designed to humiliate Finn.

  Finn nodded. “Look. Go home. I’ll tape off the Varsity until the morning.”

  Steve hesitated. “You think it could be Dan Bailey?”

  Finn shook his head. “I doubt it. I”m beat, I’m going home.”

  After Steve had left, Finn pulled out his phone, quickly shooting off a text. He laid the phone down on the table and waited.

  Call me. Don’t tell Sarah. Finn.

  Isaac squinted at his phone, bemused. He looked up to see Sarah weaving her way back to him from the bathroom. She looked decidedly drunk and as she reached him, she stumbled and almost fell onto him.

  “Oops,” she grinned up at him. He laughed and kissed her.

  “I think I had better get you home, come on.”

  Outside, it was still pouring rain, great big drops hitting the asphalt. Isaac parked Sarah under an awning and tugged the collar of his coat up. “Stay there,” he ordered with a grin, “I’ll go get us a cab.”

  Sarah leaned back against the wall, letting the pleasant feeling of being drunk wash over her. It felt good to let go, kick back….with my boo, she grinned to herself. She saw Isaac, soaked to the skin, trying to hail a cab, his phone pressed to his ear. A wave of dizziness hit her and she closed her eyes for a long moment. She felt people passing by her then, as in slow motion, she felt someone move too close, too near and a finger being trailed lightly across her stomach. A familiar smell of pine soap. She opened her eyes to see a man, the hood of his sweatshirt pulled up over his head. His face was in shadow, half turned away but her heart dropped into her feet.

  Dan

  It was the briefest glance and the man turned away, was gone, and was at the end of the block before she could form the word, say his name out loud. Then Isaac was grabbing her hand, pulling her into the warmth of a cab. Sarah blinked twice. Did that just happen? She twisted around in the cab as it began to pull away from the curb. She could see the guy standing at the end of the block, staring at the cab. From this distance, she couldn’t see his face, just felt the intensity as he stared at the car. Isaac touched her face, his eyes concerned.

  “Hey…you okay?”

  She turned back to him, her mind a whirlwind of emotions, of confusion…of fear. She didn’t want it to be Dan. She truly didn’t. You’re just drunk, woman, seeing ghosts. She smiled at Isaac, a falsely bright smile that she knew he would see through.

  “Fine. Just a bit woozy.”

  Isaac leaned his forehead against hers. His hair was wet from the rain and the cool water felt good against her skin. “We can get some food when we get home, sober you up. Then something to make your blood pump harder, get the alcohol burned off….wonder what we could do?”

  Sarah smiled at him. “I wonder.” But she felt cold inside. The shock of seeing that face, the walk, even, she thought now, the smell of the pine soap, of his skin.

  No. She pushed the idea away and burrowed into the warmth of Isaac’s arms. This was what was real, not some drunken projection. She didn’t have to look far to guess the reason for it; ever since she had been with Isaac, she had been waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for something to spoil her happiness. She hated feeling like this. Forget it, just enjoy this wonderful man in your arms. Pushing every other thought away, she tightened her grip on Isaac and thought of nothing else the whole ride home.

  Later, when Sarah had fallen asleep, Isaac slipped quietly from the bed and went to the living room, grabbing his cell phone from his jacket, discarded earlier with the rest of his clothes as they had stumbled, laughing and kissing, to the bedroom. He checked the time: just after midnight. He sent a text.

  You still up?

  His cell phone buzzed and he pressed the accept button. “Hey, Finn, what’s up?”

  “Hey, man…look I’m sorry to disturb you but I figured you’d want to know this. Molly was attacked tonight, in the Varsity.”

  Isaac was shocked. “Oh shit, no – is she okay?”

  Finn sighed. “Yeah, yeah, she says she’s fine but I figured you should know.”

  “And you didn’t want Sarah to know.”

  “She needs time, man, this will just… look, I don’t know how much she’s told you about her past…”

  “I know about her mom.”

  “Okay, good. Well, Sarah’s had some issues – mental health issues, probably stemming from her childhood. Bouts of pretty bad depression. With George’s death and now this…”

  Isaac cleared his throat, swallowing the lump of sorrow that had formed there. “I get it and thanks…I appreciate you being honest with me. Although I don’t know how we’re going to keep it from her if….”

  “Only four of us know. Five including you. I’m not saying don’t tell her ever, just don’t tell her yet. When she’s stronger.”

  Isaac shook his head and sighed. “She won’t like it.”

  “I know but…Isaac, there’s something else. Molly swears blind that she saw Dan Bailey on the island a few weeks ago. It was just a second but she’s adamant it was him. And the guy tonight. I think she’s convinced it was Dan.”

  Isaac was quiet for a long time. “Then definitely don’t tell Sarah.”

  “Agreed. Look, man, I’m sorry to bother you with this, but let’s try and figure this out without worrying Sarah any more than she needs to be.”

  “Why would Dan attack Molly?”

  Finn laughed, a hollow sound. “Why would he leave without saying anything? Why would he leave Sarah? Who knows how that son-of-a-bitch operates?”

  Isaac noticed Finn’s attitude to Dan Bailey was all out hatred now. It made his chest tighten with dread. Fear for Sarah’s safety.

  After ending the call, Isaac went back into the bedroom, laid down next to his love, sleeping so deeply. There was a little crease between her eyes, stress, and worry, even in sleep. He smoothed it out with a finger and she murmured and snuggled into his arms, pressing her lips against his neck.

  “Hey, you…”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to wake you.”

  She opened her eyes and smiled such a beautiful, sleep-filled smile at his, his stomach twisted with the ferocity of his love. “You can always wake me. Can’t you sleep?”

  “Nah-uh.”

  She kissed his mouth. “I’ll help you…” and she moved down his body. He sucked in a deep breath as her lips parted over the crown of his cock and her soft, wet mouth enveloped him. She ran her fingernails lightly over his scrotum, teasing the sensitive flesh as she licked and sucked and traced the veins of his cock with her tongue. It pulsed and swelled under her touch and Isaac shivered and vibrated with pleasure, lost in the sensations in his body. He tried to pull her up the bed, wanted to plunge into that sweet, sweet cunt of hers but she shook her head. “Come in my mouth, Isaac, I want to taste you.”

  His cock trembled at her words, grew almost painfully rigid and he arched violently as she came, hot jets of semen pumping into her willing mouth. When he was spent, she straddled him, tracing the tip of his semi-hard cock up and dow
n her slick sex.

  “You’re so wet,” he said, admiring her breasts as she sat astride him. He molded them in his hands, felt the weight of each one in his hands. “Anyone else tell you that your tits are perfect?”

  Sarah grinned and slowly impaled herself on his cock, moaning softly as he filled her. “As long as you think so…”

  He stroked her belly with his fingertip. “I love your belly too, so soft, I kinda want to fuck your bellybutton, it’s so deep.” He dipped his thumb into it and she shivered. “You like that?”

  She nodded, breathless now as she rode him, her hips rotating to thrust hard, take him deep inside of her. With his free hand, he swirled his thumb onto her clit, feeling it pulsing, and swelling underneath the pad of his thumb. Finger-fucking her navel, he gazed up at the beautiful woman above him and knew if he died here, in this moment, it would be okay as long as he was with Sarah…

  Isaac didn’t know if he was dreaming or if they were still making love but Sarah was above him, fucking him, riding his cock and throwing her head back with pleasure. He smiled up at her and began to touch her, his thumb returning to fuck the deep, round hollow in the center of her belly…then she gasped and looked at him with shock. To his horror, it wasn’t his thumb that was pushing into her navel but a knife – gripped in his own hand. He could not stop it, although he was screaming, as he stabbed her over and over…Sarah, dying, stared at him, a tear dropping down her lovely face. “Why?” she whispered and then, just like that, she was gone and he lay alone, soaked in her blood…

  “Jesus. H. Fucking. Christ.” He awoke cursing loudly then gulped in some air to calm himself. Sarah lay beside him, stirring, but very much alive and unharmed. Isaac rubbed his face, trying to scrub pout the images that tore through his brain. What the fuck? What a dream to have.

  He stroked a hand gently down her back and she mumbled something. He smiled, wanting her to wake up now, wanting to see her vital and alive and… then his heart froze as she mumbled again. A word, a name.

  Dan.

  Sarah had been uncomfortable all morning. For lunch, they’d had chowder in one of the little seafood restaurants along the waterfront but Sarah hadn’t been able to keep up her end of the conversation. She’d asked Isaac if he was okay a million times; in the end, he’d almost snapped at her. She felt guilty but she couldn’t shake the feeling that Dan was watching her, even now. She kept thinking back to outside the bar last night, the feeling she had that Dan had moved past her, was playing with her. The dream she’d had didn’t help. Dan, standing in her kitchen. Telling her still loved her but she had to die so they could be together. She kept thinking of the day she’d found George. The look on his face. Terror. Her stomach roiled with unease. “Are you okay?” His voice broke through her reverie.

  “Sorry, it’s just,” she coughed, embarrassed, “I had a dream last night and it’s unsettled me.”

  “About what?”

  She hesitated and he glanced at her. “Sarah?” A nerve twitched in his jaw.

  “I can’t really remember it.”

  “Try.”

  The atmosphere had changed. She felt a ball of tension lodge in her chest as he stared at her, his eyes searching. “I really can’t remember.” She glanced down at her hands, trying to hide the lie. Isaac was mad at her but she didn’t know why.

  “Did I do something?” She asked him now, feeling tears prickle her eyes. Isaac shook his head but stayed silent. Suddenly she couldn’t stand the tension and pushed back her chair.

  “Excuse me,” she choked out and stumbled, half-blind with tears to the restroom. She locked herself in a stall and silently sobbed. It was the first time she’d seen this side of Isaac – brooding, angry. Someone knocked at the stall door. “You okay, miss?”

  Sarah gulped back. “I’m fine.” Her voice sounded strangled.

  “Okay.” The voice didn’t sound convinced. “Are you Sarah? Your boyfriend asked me to come see if you were okay. He asked me to tell you he’s sorry and he loves you.”

  Sarah drew in a shaky breath. “Thank you, please tell him I’ll be out in a minute. Thanks again.”

  The voice was warm. “You’re welcome, sweetie.”

  Sarah calmed herself down and unlocked the stall door. At the sink, she splashed some water on her face. There was a middle-aged woman with blonde hair waiting outside the door who smiled kindly at her.

  “Sorry, honey, looks like he left.”

  Sarah felt a sharp jolt of pain and stepped into the main restaurant. She relaxed immediately. Isaac was seated at the table; he looked up and smiled, worry creasing his face. She turned to the woman.

  “No, it’s okay, he’s there.”

  The woman looked at Isaac and shook her head. “No, sweetheart… that’s not the guy who gave me the message. The guy I spoke to was blonde…”

  “About six foot, blonde curly hair, blue eyes?” Sarah’s voice was flat, dead. The woman nodded, obviously worried now but Sarah simply moved away and went back to a waiting Isaac.

  “I want to get out of here. Now.”

  Outside, she stalked in front of him, wanting to get away from the restaurant. He gripped her arm and stopped her. What? What’s wrong?”

  She whirled on him. “Oh, now you want to talk? Had enough of giving me the silent treatment?”

  Isaac’s shoulder slumped and she could see the shame in his eyes. “I’m sorry. I was…I was upset about something. God… you only said it in your sleep, it could mean anything but…”

  “What was it?” Her voice was hard.

  “It sounds so ridiculous when I think about it now…but you said “Dan” in your sleep. It upset me, I know, I know, it’s stupid but after everything that’s happened…what? What is it?”

  Sarah suddenly started to laugh but there was no humor in the sound. “Believe me. If I said Dan’s name in my sleep, it would be because I was having a nightmare. And if that woman in there is to be believed, a nightmare that’s about to come true.”

  Isaac shook his head, confused. “I don’t get it.”

  She told him about the message. He stared at her. “She must have got the wrong Sarah.”

  Sarah’s body sagged. “Yeah, you’re probably right.” But when she looked up, she saw the same uncertainty in his eyes that she felt in her bones.

  Neither of them spoke on the way home.

  “Okay, I have to ask,” Isaac said finally, after a long evening where they had both stared at the television without seeing or absorbing anything that was on it. They were on his couch but, for the first time, there was space between them – physical and psychological. Isaac felt it keenly. “If Dan is back…what does it mean for us?”

  Sarah looked up, startled and her eyes softened when she saw the hurt in his eyes. “Isaac… you are the love, the absolute, irrevocable love of my life. If Dan does come back. Well, that part of my life is over. As far as I’m concerned, you are my future.”

  Isaac visibly relaxed. “That’s all I needed to hear. God,” he lay down and put his head in her lap. She smiled down at him, smoothing his short hair with her hand. “What a wild ride we’ve had.”

  Sarah grinned. “Because your life was so boring before.” She looked pointedly around the apartment; high ceilings, perfectly decorated, priceless art on the walls. Isaac laughed and sat up.

  “They’re just things.” He stroked her cheek. “This is what’s real. I’m not saying I’m not a lucky s.o.b. because clearly, I am.”

  “Well, you worked hard for it, and your talent is in being a huge nerd boy. Geekdom is very lucrative,” Sarah was grinning at him. “Everything I’m good at isn’t unless you get very lucky. Not that I’m complaining. You’re right, things are just things.”

  “Hey now, come on, you have your own business, that’s a big thing.” He grinned at her.

  Sarah rolled her eyes. “What I’m saying is, I may never be on an equal financial footing with you but that kind of thing doesn’t matter to me if it doesn’t to you. I don
’t want diamonds and pearls and fur coats – not that I’d wear them. All I want from you is your time. I can match you on that.”

  Isaac nodded thoughtfully. “I get it. Can I ask one favor?”

  “Go for it.”

  Isaac gestured around the room. “Look, I can’t pretend I’m not disgustingly rich but I hate flaunting it. You know me by now, I’d still do the same job if it paid peanuts. But let’s be real: I do have a lot of money and just occasionally I’d like to spoil you… no, listen –,” he said hurriedly, seeing the doubtful expression on her face. “I don’t mean with material things. Maybe I could spring for a luxury vacation, maybe I could replace your truck when it finally falls apart – as a present. But more, I’m thinking… our kids could go to college without worrying about debt; you could go back to school if you wanted. We could build schools, or help the community on the island.”

  Sarah tangled her fingers in his hair. “Haven’t we already discussed that you being perfect is really irritating?” But she grinned. “Building schools – now that kind of spending spree I can get on board with.” She leaned over and kissed him. “Also, a sex dungeon would be nice.”

  Isaac laughed loudly. “You wouldn’t need to ask me twice on that.”

  “You like a bit of kink?”

  He shrugged. “Who doesn’t?”

  She crawled onto his lap. “Well, Mr. Quinn, I’ll try anything once and if I like it, more than once.”

  He trailed his fingers across her cheeks. “I’ll hold you to that.”

  “I’m counting on it.”

  Hank’s Bar was full with the Sunday night football crowd. Finn and Mike sat at a corner booth. Hank, an ex-city cop and the owner of both the bar and an oversized mustache that made him look like a walrus, had offered them a free beer and busted their chops for a time before turning his attention to the game. The 49ers were getting a mauling from the Seahawks and the bar was raucous with their support. Finn and Mike stared at the screen blankly for twenty minutes until an ad break afforded them the quiet to talk.