Dirty Little Virgin: A Submissives’ Secrets Novel

by Michelle Love

  “Great,” I say. “So, if everything is so perfect, why am I still quaking and shaking with nerves?”

  With a shrug, she says, “You need more of the hard stuff. Come on, I’ll do another shot with you.”

  I don’t argue this time as I think about walking down the aisle on my poor father’s arm, jittering like a coked-up monkey. Down the hatch, the hot liquid goes and I still feel like I’m freaking out.

  Maybe one more will help…

  CYPRIAN

  A knock at the door to my dressing room has my father going to open it. “Cyprian!” Cami cries out as she literally spills into the room. “There you are!”

  “Cami?” I ask as I get up and have to take her in my arms as she’s stumbling along and bound to fall. “How much have you had to drink?”

  “Too much. And I can’t do it, Cyprian,” she slurs as she holds onto me for dear life. “I can’t walk down that aisle.”

  “Not like this you can’t,” I say. “Bread and coffee, mother, please.”

  My mother heads out and I find my father frowning. “Poor girl.” He helps me get her to a chair then looks into her eyes. “Do you not wish to marry? It’s okay. You know I’m not about marriage. It’s okay to change your mind.”

  “No!” she says then her eyes roll up in her head, it falls back and hangs to one side.

  “Cami!” I smack her cheek lightly, then a bit harder when that doesn’t wake her up. “Not today. Of all days, not this one!”

  “She’s not ready, Cyprian. She might never be,” Papa tells me. “Look what’s happened. She was so nervous, she got drunk. It’s a subconscious sign that says she doesn’t want a marriage. Though she seems traditional, she’s not. Just look at her. How sad. You won’t hold her to a marriage, will you, son. How tragic that would be.”

  “Papa, are you crazy?” I ask him as I continue to pat her on the cheek. “Of course, I’m holding her to it! I’ve waited patiently for nearly a year. She just drank to calm her nerves. Hell, I have them too. I think it’s completely natural to have them. We’re about to make huge commitments in front of our families and the pressure is high.”

  My mother comes back in and sighs as she sees the state my fiancé is in. “Oh no! It’s too much for her. I didn’t see this coming. I thought she really wanted this wedding.”

  “She does,” I say as I take the cup of coffee from Mother and set it on the table. “She’s not a huge drinker. I’m sure whatever she was drinking was stout. It’s not a big deal. She’ll wake up and be ready to go. I know she will.”

  “I’ll get a wet cloth to see if that doesn’t bring her around,” Mother says as she leaves us again.

  As she opens the door, I see Catarina and she looks relieved. “Good, she’s in here. I lost her when I had to leave her, so I could use the bathroom. What did you do to her, Cyprian?”

  “I think I should be asking you that all-important question, Catarina. She was entrusted to you. What happened?” I ask her as she looks at Cami and pokes at her.

  “She was shaky. I gave her a shot or two or three. Maybe a little more than that.” She tugs at Cami’s arm. “Man, she’s out!”

  “I know that,” I say with an irritated tone. “Now what will we do?”

  “Um, uh, man, I don’t know.” Catarina puts her hand to one side of her mouth like she’s telling me a secret. “You see, I had the same amount of shots she did.”

  “I can smell that and see it. Catarina, shame on you,” I reprimand her then hand her the cup of coffee that will do no good for Cami as she’s passed out.

  “I’ll go see how long the priest will be able to wait,” Papa says, then leaves us.

  “I’m sorry, Cyprian,” Catarina begins to wail. “I really am. I’ve ruined your wedding. It’s all my fault!”

  “Don’t cry,” I say as I try to soothe her. “You’ll ruin your makeup and you’re her maid of honor. She’ll wake up soon. She’ll feel like hell but we’ll get the vows said and be married and then I’ll take her to our hotel room and she’ll sleep it off.”

  “But now she has to feel like shit at her only wedding. I mean I hope it’s her only wedding.”

  “I hope so too,” I say and find a magazine to fan Cami with. “Baby, wake up, please.”

  Settling into a pool of self-pity, Catarina takes the coffee and goes to sit down in a nearby chair. “Perhaps I did this inadvertently. Maybe I’m jealous that she found true love. The likes of which I’ve never known. First my marriage to Peter, then the thing with the cop, didn’t work out. I can’t find love to save my life and Camilla just happened to find a man, who walked into the store she worked at and they fell in love. Why can’t that happen for me?”

  “It’s not as if we didn’t have our trials. It wasn’t always so perfect. Nowhere near. And you’ll find love. Perhaps you should stop looking to get it from overbearing men, though. You see, you’re better than that. You’re smarter than the kind of women who need men like that. You should look for nice men. I just met a cousin last night. He kept looking your way. You didn’t even notice him, though.”

  “He did?” she asks as she wipes the tears from underneath her eyes, smudging her mascara.

  “He did. He’s a nice guy. That’s probably why you didn’t notice him. The man you were hanging all over was someone who was paid to be there. A gigolo.”

  “Crap,” she says as she puts the coffee down on the table in front of her. “I thought he liked me.”

  “He was paid to like you,” I tell her. “That’s how I grew up. With a bunch of women who were paid to like me. Paid to let me do anything I wanted with and to them.”

  “That’s terrible. So, this cousin, is he handsome?” she asks as she gets up and looks in the mirror. “Damn it, my makeup!”

  Taking a tissue, I dab at the black smudges under her teal colored eyes. “I can fix this. I guess you could say he’s handsome. I didn’t think he was ugly. I can make sure you two meet after the wedding if you want.”

  “Should I? He lives in France, after all,” she says as she looks into my eyes.

  “He’s just visiting,” I tell her. “He lives in New York. He’s an investment counselor there. Funny, huh? He’s in the same line of work I am. I’m thinking about seeing if he’d like to come to work for me.”

  “Introduce me. If we hit it off, then offer him a position.” She smiles and gives me a hug. “You’re going to make an excellent brother-in-law, Cyprian.”

  “If we can get my bride to wake up to make me one,” I say as my mother walks back in.

  She goes to Cami and presses the cloth to her forehead. “Camilla, wake up.”

  Cami’s eyes flutter open and she grabs my mother by the wrist. “Can I call you mom?”

  Mother smiles then laughs. “If you’ll wake up and marry my son, you can.”

  “K, Mom,” Cami says then lifts her head up and looks at Catarina. “You’ve been crying.”

  “I got you drunk. I’m sorry,” her sister says then makes her way to her. “Are you ready to get married now? Can you walk?”

  I hurry to help Cami get up and find she has to lean, heavily on me. “Your father will have his work cut out for him, bringing her down the aisle to me.”

  “I’ll go and get him,” Catarina says as she wobbles toward the door.

  “Allow me to,” Mother says then pats Catarina on the back. “You take some more of that coffee and give some to your sister.”

  I watch my mother, a woman I’ve never seen have a motherly instinct in her life, do things a normal mother would do. “Mother, thank you.”

  She looks over her shoulder at me with a smile. “You’re welcome, son.”

  Looking at the woman, who hopefully will become my wife very soon, I feel overwhelmed by my love for her. She’s managed to transform not only myself but my mother and father, to some extent. “You are a miracle worker.”

  Her sleepy smile makes me laugh as her eyes droop a bit and she hiccups. “You are a miracle, my love.”
r />   The door opens and in comes her father, looking sternly at Catarina. “Did Coco tell on me?” Catarina asks him.

  He nods and shakes his finger at her. “You’re supposed to be the big sister. You’re supposed to take care of Camilla. This is her special day.”

  “I’m sorry,” she begins to cry again.

  “No need to cry. It’s all going to be fine,” I say as I take Cami to her father. “Brace yourself, she’s kind of like a jellyfish.”

  “Bye, bye,” Cami says as her father takes her from me.

  “I’ll see you soon.” I watch them hurry away with her to freshen her up and I go out to get the show on the road.

  My father meets us in the hallway. “The priest is available for another hour but that’s all.”

  “She’s awake. Her father has her. We can go and wait for her to make her walk down the aisle.” I take my mother’s arm and lead my parents to the church where I will make my vows to Cami, making her and I a thing I never thought I’d be a part of, a married couple.

  Is it possible to really live happily ever after…?

  Chapter 5

  CAMILLA

  “Just take a whiff of this,” my mother tells me then puts something under my nose that sends a wave of heat through me as I take in the scent of acidic odor.

  “Yuk!” I shout as I accidentally take another big sniff. “What is that?”

  “Smelling salts,” she tells me.” I always carry them with me.”

  “I’m not even going to ask you why that is,” I say. “I’m just glad you do. My head is nearly clear now.”

  “Great,” Papa says. “Then let’s get this thing going. Catarina get your butt out there to let them know we’re ready to go.”

  “Yes, Papa,” she says as she grabs her bouquet of flowers. “And I’m sorry, Camilla.”

  I give her a nod and let my mother pull the veil over my face. “Time to go, baby girl.”

  “The nerves are gone,” I say, mostly to myself as I’m surprised I feel only happiness, not nervous at all.

  I hear the music start up and take my father’s arm. “You look gorgeous.”

  “And you look handsome in your fancy tux, Papa.”

  Mother goes out before us, going to take her seat. “I love you, Camilla. See you out there.”

  “I love you, too.”

  Going along with my father, he pats my hand as he says, “You and Cyprian can have a long and happy life together, just like your mother and I have. Things will come along to threaten your happiness but all can be overcome. Love is like a river, it has deep spots, where you can lounge in the luxury of it and shallow spots where it becomes rough as stones crop up to make the water treacherous. Cling to one another during those times. That’s when you need to gather strength from each other. Don’t turn your back on him if he’s having a rough patch in his life and remind him to do the same for you when you find yourself having trouble. Never go to bed angry and don’t say things you can’t take back. Words can scar just like physical injuries.”

  Tears have sprung up in my eyes, making it difficult to see where I’m walking. “That’s some good advice, Papa.”

  “I hope so,” he says. “It comes from the heart, mon canard.”

  The music stops as we approach the entry to the main church. The wedding march starts and my heart starts banging like a drum in my chest. My father takes a step and I go with him. Wishing like hell the tears were gone, so I could see my handsome man, waiting for me at the end of the red carpeted path that’s leading me to my future.

  CYPRIAN

  The ice blue dress looks fantastic on her. The veil has her hidden from me and it has my heart shuddering as she comes to me. Today she will become mine. She will carry my name and she will give me children who will carry that name into the future.

  My life will not be the empty shell it was. I will live on through my children. The future is so different from what I thought it would be.

  I thought I’d be a man like my father. Living, merely to make money and party with women who’d let me do anything I wanted to with them. Instead, I’m going to live a life with a woman who tests me on occasion. And fills me with wonder always.

  I doubt boredom will ever come into play in our lives. If it does, for some reason, I’ll make sure to show it to the door. She and I will make our marriage a happy one.

  The closer she gets to me the better I can see her under the light blue veil. Her eyes glisten with tears but the smile plastered on her sweet face tells me they’re happy tears.

  Her father places her hand in mine as he says, “Take good care of my baby, Cyprian. I’m trusting you.”

  “I will, sir. I promise.” I turn us to look at the man who will say the words to make us one.

  I expected to find her hand shaking but she’s calm. Her hand is cool and as always, it leaves my pulse nearly racing with just her touch. I don’t know if it will always give me this reaction and I don’t care. At least I’ve been able to feel this for a while. It’s amazing and the memory alone is better than never feeling it at all.

  Her voice is smooth as she repeats the words the priest asks her to. I get to hear that voice every day for the rest of my life. I get to hear her cry, laugh, pant with desire, and the delivery of our children. I get to hear it all!

  I repeat the words he asks me to and watch her smile as I vow to love, honor, and cherish her. I already do, but these words cement the fact I always will. She is my world. My everything!

  I’d be a lesser man without her. I know that now. I know so many things I never knew until I met her. And to think how I was set to give this woman a piece of my mind when I heard her talking about me that night.

  It seems like a lifetime ago. I stood and listened as she talked about me, without knowing I was listening. Thinking I was a man, I was not.

  I suppose I was a bit on the perverted side. I certainly saw sex in a way that was unhealthy. Cami has taught me what it’s supposed to be about. It’s not an act, the way I had always thought of it. It’s so much more than that. With the others, it was an act. With Cami, it’s a reality that deepens our connection each and every time our bodies come together to worship the other’s.

  She is my goddess. My hope. My eternity. And with the last words said between us, she is now my wife and I am her husband. Pushing her veil back, I look at her and mouth, ‘I love you.’ She mouths it back to me. When our mouths meet to seal the deal, it sends an explosion of stars into my head.

  This is it. We’re married. To death do us part.

  My God, can this be real…

  Chapter 6

  CAMILLA

  The sound of rain, falling outside the window of our bedroom, has me thinking about how this whole thing began. Cyprian, lies next to me, his arm thrown over me as he makes little snoring sounds.

  We’ve been back home for a week. Looking at the rings on my finger, still gives me the chills. I am the wife of a billionaire, who I love more than I knew was possible.

  I talked so much shit about this man before I even knew him. To think of how I thought about him and to see how this ended with me married to the man I once thought of as a pervert, has me smiling.

  Life isn’t a thing you can plan. Things pop up that you never expected. Did I expect the man who had his driver come in for condoms every Friday and Saturday night to end up being the man I’d share my life with?

  Hell, no!

  Am I glad that happened?

  Hell, yes!

  His light brown hair has fallen across his face, so I push it back. I love gazing at him while he sleeps. He’s beautiful.

  I pick out things about him I hope our kids will have. His nose will be a thing I’ll want all our sons to have. It’s perfect. His lips are just the right amount of pouty and I think our daughters would look pretty with them. His eyelashes are thicker than mine, so I hope our girls will get them. And his muscles are a thing I hope the boys get.

  His temper is more even than mine is, I hope t
hey all get that. A family only has room for one hothead!

  He stirs and catches me looking at him. A sleepy smile moves over his lips. “What are you doing, Cami?”

  “Nothing,” I say as I stroke his hair. “Go back to sleep and let me keep looking at you.”

  A deep chuckle makes his body shake and vibrate mine. “Okay.” His light brown eyes close and he snuggles his face into my neck, tickling it a bit.

  My giggle has him tightening his arm around me and kissing my neck. His kisses are light at first then he’s making longer kisses and sucking at my neck a bit, making me moan.

  In between my legs goes wet. I turn my body to press up against him. His pulsing male organ touches me, coaxing me to run one leg over his hip, so I can settle into him better.

  His mouth keeps moving until his lips touch mine. I snake my arm around his neck as I grind my body to his, making his cock grow by leaps and bounds. Moving over me, he pulls his mouth off mine to watch my expression as he moves his erection into me.

  “Yes, there it is,” he says as I moan with how good he feels inside of me. “You glow, baby. When I’m in you, you physically glow.”

  Shying away, as he watches me too intensely, I find his mouth back on mine as he starts moving with a long, slow rhythm. Our bodies move together like waves in the ocean.

  The way his hands move over my shoulders and down my arms, sends chills through me, making bumps appear all over my skin. His hands take mine and he holds them over my head in one of his hands.

  I hear the sound of him opening the drawer of the nightstand next to him and feel the soft velvet covered cuffs go around my wrists as he cuffs me to the headboard. “You have the right to remain silent,” he whispers to me as he takes his mouth away from mine.”

  I moan a bit as he moves his body in a way that leaves mine begging for more. “Oh, baby.”

  “Shh,” he shushes me. “You have the right to remain sexy as hell.”