Happily Never After

by Bess George

  Steel beneath her silky skin, she was putting her life back together. She drew him toward her like an addict to their next fix, but it was one-sided. After what her father’d done, she wouldn’t consider a relationship with a cop.

  Who could blame her? The trauma of one parent destroying the other would leave a scar on anyone’s psyche. Throw in being attacked and living through a near-death experience, it’s no wonder the woman jumped at shadows.

  He knew a thing or two about being scared. Six years ago he’d lost his fiance, his job and on the verge of losing himself in self-destructive behavior. But he’d been one of the lucky ones. His family rallied around him and kicked his ass until he broke free of the cycle.

  Once off the booze and back in decent shape, a friend of his father’s decided to take a chance and offered him a job. That’s how he ended up in Redding. Now, there was nothing that would make him give this up.

  The police scanner interrupted his musings. Four Eight Zero at First and Broadway.

  He thrust his car door open and exploded into action. That was right down the street. Jogging down the sidewalk, he hustled past oblivious pedestrians. A small crowd had gathered on the next block, and he muscled his way through the gawkers.

  Long blond hair helped him recognize the victim at a glance, and he knelt beside Kelsey. His touch remained gentle while he ran his hands over her body searching for injury. Her eyes looked back at him, glassy from shock.

  “Are you all right? Be still. I’ve got you but don’t try to move,” he crooned to her.

  Her body resembled a piece of chalk, and he knew the pain would register once the shock wore off. Dazed eyes stared up at him. He placed one hand along the side of her too cold face.

  “An ambulance is on the way, Kelsey. You’re going to be okay.”

  She raised a shaky hand to grasp his shirt, and the strong grip surprised him. “Make him leave me alone.”

  Her frightened words shot adrenaline into him. “Who? Who won’t leave you alone? Did someone do this to you?” he demanded but she had retreated into her mind again.

  Uniformed officers informed him of the make and model of the car. They had already issued an APB. When the ambulance arrived a few moments later, they checked her vital signs and made sure she was okay to transport.

  All he could do was wait patiently as the medics did their probing. The EMT’s strapped on the oxygen mask and loaded her on a gurney. One of his hands reached out to stop them before they placed her in the back of the vehicle.

  “Don’t worry.” He pulled one of her limp hands into his. “I’ll be right behind you, and I’ll be there when you get to the hospital.”

  He stared at the vehicle as it sped away. The reality of what a close call she’d had shook him. She could be dead. He braced himself on his knees to calm the adrenaline still coursing through him. He straightened and strode away to get his car.

  It was time to be a cop.

  Chapter 10

  Kelsey’s hip throbbed. She swallowed back the need to vomit. Tears threatened to fall, but she clamped her teeth together to keep from crying out when the ambulance bumped and swayed. Upon arrival, everyone moved so fast the details blurred in her pain fogged mind.

  Whisked into an examining room, the nurses removed her clothing to dress her in a gown. She held back a cry of dismay at the rips in her favorite suit. But, they were, after all, just clothes.

  The extent of her injuries was still unknown, so people moved in and out of the cubicle taking one test after another. A doctor came in to examine her and ordered an MRI for further evaluation because of the large bump on her head. The pain was intense, and her hip already displayed a nasty purple color. The nurse gave her something to reduce her discomfort.

  She hadn’t seen Bode since being taken for x-rays. He’d stuck by her side until they instructed him to leave. The techs ran the MRI and other tests the doctor had ordered. Meanwhile, her teeth chewed on her lower lip, and she replayed the accident over and over in her mind.

  This was all her fault. She had refused to admit that she wasn’t getting any better. In fact, considering that she was now being stalked by a dead man, her symptoms seemed to be growing worse. The hallucinations and nightmares weren’t going to disappear just because she moved to a new city. What a naive nitwit.

  Lying to herself was one thing, but she needed to be honest with David. She wasn’t capable of controlling these panic attacks.

  The exact details still eluded her, and she couldn’t remember if she’d waited for the signal or not. Small shivers ran down her spine at the memory of the car bearing down on her and the moment the cold metal made contact.

  Unaware of any pain until after being placed on a gurney, she remembered the enormous relief that swept through her at the sound of Bode’s voice. On an emotional roller coaster, she couldn’t resist leaning on his strength.

  To her surprise, she’d been drawn to him since the first day they met. Of course, then it was a simple physical attraction. But on their non-date, he was attentive and fun, interested in all the little details. The more time she spent with him, the less she cared about what he was and more about who he was.

  How ironic and sad. The first man who'd curled her toes would be the exact type of person she wanted to avoid in a relationship.

  When the nurses finished, they wheeled her into a private room and dispensed more pain medication. It would help reduce her discomfort without making her too drowsy. As the nurse settled her in, a soft knock on the door sounded and Bode strode into the room.

  He came straight to the side of her bed and brushed the hair back away from her forehead. The intimate gesture made her breath hitch. A fist squeezed her heart to the point of pain. She could steel herself to resist the magnetism between them, but the care and concern etched in his features threatened to break her.

  “If you’re going to be a jerk and call me Princess, don’t. It would ruin the hero image I have of you now.” Her voice came out hoarse.

  He barked out a laugh and moved a chair next to the bed. With one arm on the pillow over her head, he used the other one to clasp her hand.

  “Are you ready to talk about it?”

  She started from the beginning when the door slammed, and the panic attack began. How she made her way down in the elevator and rushed into the restroom because she was falling apart. She laid out every excruciating detail and her cheeks heated in remembrance.

  “Do you remember telling me someone was there? Who pushed you into the street?”

  Her eyes broke contact with his, unable to speak while looking at him. Short of breath, she endeavored to get enough air. She wiped one damp palm on the sheet. Tell him. Just say it.

  “Otis Warren.” The whisper came out almost inaudible.

  Bode frowned. “Who is Otis Warren?”

  She made herself meet his questioning look. “He’s the man who shot me ten months ago.”

  “Didn’t I read that he was—”

  “Killed by the police?” Her self-deprecating laughter broke free. “Yes, and now he’s following me around. I’m either delusional or bat-shit crazy. Taking a short stint in the psych ward isn’t going to give people much confidence in having me as their attorney.”

  “There’s nothing to be ashamed of for needing professional help.”

  “What would you know about it? When was the last time you were too afraid to leave your apartment? Too scared to do the job you worked so hard for?” Her heart sank at the sudden realization. She was done.

  The door banged against the wall as David hurried into the room. Bode moved out of the way as he rushed to the bedside.

  Her brother clasped one of her hands. “Kelsey, are you all right? Bode called and said you were hit by a car.”

  The worry in David’s voice made her want to weep
, but she forced herself to remain calm. “I just gave my statement.” She paused. “I’m sorry, David. I ran out of the office because of a panic attack. I think you’d better stop planning on me working for you as an assistant prosecutor.”

  “Oh, honey, don’t let this one accident derail your progress.”

  She placed her free hand over his. “This wasn’t just an accident.”

  David glanced over at Bode. “It wasn’t?”

  Bode’s shoulder lifted in a negligible shrug. Great. He was going to make her do the deed. She could do this. “It was my fault. My paranoia is getting worse instead of better. When I left the building, I saw Otis Warren standing next to me at the corner.”

  David stared at her, baffled. “Otis Warren’s dead.”

  She gulped hard, and hot tears slid down her cheeks. “I know that. I do. But it doesn’t change the fact that I’ve started seeing him, and it scares the hell out of me. I didn’t tell you before because I was afraid it would stop you from wanting me here.”

  David gently wiped away her teardrops. “Ah, honey, being a prosecutor is what you do for a living, not who you are. I want you to be here because you’re my sister, and because I love you.” David’s eyes brimmed with tenderness.

  “I don’t know if I remember who I really am.” She hated the truth in her soft confession.

  “You’re the strong, loving person who saved me, Kels. Even as a kid I was already dead inside. You made me feel again. I knew I needed to get out of that dead-end life to be able to get you out. And we did it. And now, we’ll do what we have to do for you to get better.”

  David sat on her bed and talked about their life together, struggling to grow up without the benefit of parents. His gentle words lulled her to sleep.

  Dragging heavy lids open, she scanned the room for David. She tried to sit up, but dizziness made the room spin.

  Bode reached out and insisted that she lie back down. “Hold on, cowgirl. Where do you think you’re going? I guess the doctors didn’t tell you, but you’re one lucky lady. You ended up with a little concussion and a bad bruise on your hip. Both will be quick to heal, but they’re going to keep you here overnight. You might as well sit back, relax and think of this as a trip to the spa.”

  Bode sat by her bed while she rested, restlessness racing through his veins. She was lucky that her injuries hadn’t been worse. One of his hands stroked the top of her head. The long strands reminded him of the softest silk.

  This tightness in his chest was unfamiliar. Uncomfortable. When he detoxed and started rebuilding his life, the wall around his heart had remained sealed shut. The single emotion he experienced now was the rush of adrenaline from his job or one of his hobbies.

  Her long lashes made shadows on her pale face. He touched her every few minutes, needing the reassurance she was fine. Bev and Ann both rushed to the hospital earlier but had already left. David had taken off about an hour ago to go home, take a shower, and get a change of clothes before coming back.

  Everyone’s concern took a visible toll on Kelsey, and he was secretly glad when the room became quiet enough for her to doze.

  A gentle rap on the door preceded Steve peeking around the corner. “Can I come in?”

  He waved him in and whispered. “Did you need me?”

  Steve joined him by the bed. “No. I just wanted to check in on Kelsey. It’s good she’s resting. At least this will give her a break from insomnia.”

  He studied his friend. “How do you know she has insomnia?”

  “I talk to her.” Steve’s tone held a note of sarcasm. “You might try it sometime.”

  His eyes narrowed at his partner. “I talk to her. We’re friends.”

  Steve snorted in good humor. “No, what you do is growl and act like you don’t like her.”

  He checked to make sure Kelsey was still asleep before turning back to his friend. “Did you know she loves to play basketball?”

  “She plays ball?”

  He shot a triumphant look at the other man. “Yep, she played at UT. See, we talk. Let’s go out in the hall so we don’t bother her.”

  The nurses rotated in every hour to take her vital signs. Sometime near dawn she stirred, and he raised his head from the chair where he sat.

  “Are you okay? Are you hurting?” His tone was anxious as he scanned her face.

  She reached for his hand but gasped at the pain. “I need to thank you for coming to my rescue. It was stupid of me to run out of the office like that. You don’t deserve to get caught in the craziness of my life.”

  He squeezed her hand in comfort. “Stop beating yourself up over this. Your body just reacted to stress.”

  An enormous boulder had taken up residence in his throat. Tell her. He focused on their clasped hands and swallowed it down. “You asked me last night when I’d ever been so afraid I couldn’t do my job. Six years ago—”

  “Bode, you don’t have to tell—”

  “Six years ago when I was with SWAT, I killed an innocent woman during a hostage situation.” When he lifted his eyes, he knew the pain would still show. “The guilt almost ate me alive. Every time I tried to sleep, the woman’s image would haunt me.”

  Her expression was one of complete compassion. “How long did it take for you to get past it?”

  Uncomfortable with sharing the ugly details of his past, he forced himself to continue. “I refused to get the help I needed. The relief I sought from my depression was in a bottle. Long story short, I found myself without a job and my identity. I had to reach rock bottom before I quit drinking.”

  “Is that what made you leave SWAT?”

  “The shooting occurred during my last week on the job. My fiancé had already convinced me I could be happy in a different profession. I was leaving so I could make more money.”

  She snorted. “I can’t picture you as anything but a cop. What were you planning on doing? Private security work?”

  His mouth curved into an ironic smile. “Real Estate Tycoon.”

  Her small laugh helped pull him from the bad memories. He could stop this painful trip down memory lane. She’d given him the perfect opportunity to keep the mood light. But for some reason, it was important to him to continue.

  “Yeah, unfortunately, I never made my first million. When I sobered up and realized what a huge mistake I’d made by leaving the force, no one would hire me. Captain Roberts gave me a chance, and I moved here.” He paused. “It took me a long time, but I managed to put my life back together. A cop again.” His eyes met hers. “You can put your life back together, too.”

  She looked at him, flashing a smile of thanks. “You're so sweet to me. Careful, I’m beginning to think there might be a sensitive guy hidden inside somewhere.”

  A laugh exploded from him. “Sorry, what you see is what you get.”

  He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. “Rest. We’ll sort everything out tomorrow.”

  Her lids drifted down, and he sat back. She didn’t want him to get involved in her crazy life? It was a little too late for that.

  A little after six a nurse entered, and he got up to stretch his cramped muscles. When they were alone again, he moved back over to the side of the bed.

  “I need to go home and get cleaned up before going to the office. Can I get you anything? I talked to David, and he’ll be here within the hour. Ann called, and she’ll get here around ten. If you need me, here’s my cell number.” He handed her his card. “Give me your key and I’ll go by your apartment to pick up some clothes for you.”

  Kelsey eyed him with suspicion. “You acted like I kicked your dog all week, and now you want to play nice. What’s up?”

  “I was confused over our friendship. Now, I’m not. Give me your key.”

  Startled, she stared at him in confusion. He
reached down to the floor by her bed and picked something up. “Here, I grabbed your bag yesterday and brought it with me.”

  She dug to find her keys. Worried about leaving, he fussed over her until she batted his hands away from helping raise the bed into a sitting position.

  “I’m much better today, and hopefully I’ll be sprung before noon. Go rid the streets of crime or whatever heroes do on your typical workday,” she teased.

  He turned to leave when her hand reached out and stopped him. Serious once again, she licked her lips in a nervous gesture.

  “You weren’t going to tell David about my hallucination, were you?”

  He answered her with a soft kiss on the forehead. Her cheeks blushed a lovely pink color, and the stunned expression on her face made him happy. Pulling on his jacket, he left with an extra spring in his step.

  Chapter 11

  Kelsey spent the morning fixated on the tiled ceiling and thinking about her life since the attack. Until yesterday she believed she could work through the panic attacks on her own. The truth was crystal clear. She hadn’t dealt with her issues at all but allowed them to dictate how she lived.

  At first, shame over her actions caused her to re-live the accident again and again. At some point during her self-assessment, chagrin changed to resolve.

  Maintaining a calm façade while watching television took all her effort. The determination to take back control of her life consumed her.