“You know this used to be our shit…he don’t understand you like I do. No he’ll never make love to you like I do, so give it to me,” he sang looking down at me. His eyes were pulling me in as he sang the lyrics. “Cause I can show you about a real love, and I can promise anything that I do it’s just to satisfy you,” he sung. I closed my eyes pressing my face into his chest. Jaycion was my comfort zone and I didn’t wanna hurt him or get him caught up in my shit. It wasn’t fair to him or my Marcio.
“Lee…ma...I,”
“So this is where your ass ducked off to?” a loud ass voice asked fucking up the moment. Jaycion and I both stopped dancing.
“Man, I don’t owe you shit. You better lower your fucking tone before I get your ass kicked from up out of here,” he said stilling holding on to me.
“So it’s like that? I always knew you were fucking this mixed bitch, claiming she was your best friend. Yeah right, men and women can’t be friends, I wasn’t stupid,” she said angrily. Jaycion let me go and charged at her. He grabbed her face and whispered something to her that made her eyes grow wide. He let her go and she quickly walked away with her friend trailing behind her. Jaycion walked back over to me and grabbed my hand.
“You owe me another dance beautiful,” he said as Wale’s Thug Matrimony came on. I closed my eyes as I began to dance with Jaycion. This fucking DJ was doing too much with these songs. My hips sway to the music as Jaycion’s hands stayed on my hips. I opened my eyes to seem him looking down at me and his gaze was just too much, so I turned around and he pulled me my back to his front. My heart was beating so hard I could barely think straight.
“If there’s a question of my love, you got it. Baby don’t worry I got plans for you. I been making plans,” he sung in my ear. I closed my eyes and allowed for his big hands to roam over my body. I knew it was wrong but damn it felt so right. I moaned when his hands cupped my breast like we were the only ones in the room.
“Damn…Lee,” he groaned and spun me around. We stared at each other for a moment then I looked away. I was so horny I could cum from just a kiss. I was terrified to take it there and I had several reasons on why I shouldn’t. The biggest one being my husband wasn’t him.
“Let’s go sit down, you got my shit rock hard,” he said and pulled us away. I decided not to comment because I could feel it as it poked me all up in my back, and the quickest way to end up on my back would be for us to discuss his dick. We found Kitty as we walked off of the dancefloor. She stood with her husband Ralph giggling. They both looked at us and smiled.
“Ralph my nigga, what’s up?” Jaycion said letting my hand go to hug him. They shared a quick embrace and then he hugged Kitty who smiled at him so hard that I knew Ralph was going to cut into her ass the minute we stepped away.
“What up Jaycion? Harlow, it’s good to see you too. Are the twins here?” he asked and looked around. Jaycion walked back to me and pulled me to his side. Ralph was closer to the twins so I knew that this was going to most definitely get back to them.
“Ralph, me and Harlow been friends since niggas was wearing Grant Hills and track suits. Don’t come at me with that shit,” Jaycion said with a little attitude. Kitty grabbed Ralph’s hand smiling nervously.
“Ralph let’s go dance since you decided to come check up on me. Jaycion is family and he always will be baby,” she said looking at him. Ralph nodded and shot Jaycion a glare before walking away.
“That nigga trying to make me go in his shit tonight. How the fuck he gonna try to check me because of you. Yeah you married to them niggas, but you were my girl first. I was there when your mother died. I was there when those bitches from Oak Park damn near killed you because their nigga wanted to get on. I caught a charge for pistol-whipping those hoes. That nigga better get his Jon B looking ass the fuck up out of here,” Jaycion ranted. I grabbed his face and looked up at him smiling. We had been through some shit together. I sometimes forgot about all of the crazy things that we had done when we were younger. That seemed like that was a lifetime ago now.
“We all know you love me boy so hush your drunken ass up. Now let’s go sit down so I can get another drink.” Jaycion shook his head still frowning. His handsome features were really on display tonight. I always knew he was cute, but damn. I shook my head not even wanting to appreciate how full and soft his brown lips looked or how thick and tamed his eyebrows were. His strong jawbone was model-like perfect then there were his dimples that broke out when he finally smiled, that pulled you in.
“But on some real shit, what is this? I’m tired of waiting Lee. I’ve watched you fuck with every nigga but the right one.” I licked my lips and looked around. I noticed Marcos walking towards us with a gang of niggas behind him. Jaycion’s body guards appeared out of nowhere walking up with them. Jaycion shoved me behind him as Kasam and his brothers walked up.
“Everything cool?” Kasam asked Jaycion and Marcos at the same time. Kasam’s right hand was Marcos’ cousin, Hayward.
“I always knew you was going to be a fucking problem nigga!” Marcos said with his chains still swinging as he stepped to Jaycion completely ignoring Kasam’s question. Marcos had a lot of pull in the city so anyone could have told him that I was here, but why did he care. He couldn’t come see his fucking kids but he could come fight my best friend? That was some bullshit.
“Aye, we family!” Kasam yelled stepping between them. I couldn’t believe Marcos was even in here trying to check me about some shit. I wasn’t doing anything wrong and he wasn’t with me anymore, so I was no longer a concern of his.
“Marcos, why the fuck are you even here?” I asked him looking around Jaycion and Kasam. Marcos looked at me with the coldest stare I had ever seen.
“I’m a deal with your hot ass in a minute Lee. Got me and my fucking brother looking like fools right now. Yeah bitch, I’ma see you,” he spat angrily.
“Bitch? Nigga if you don’t get your motherfucking ass!” Jaycion yelled and went around Kasam to punch Marcos in the face. In a matter of seconds chaos broke out in the expensive, beautifully decorated hotel ballroom. I screamed as Marcos and Jaycion fought with each other. Kasam and his brothers tried their best to break it up until one of them were hit and then it seemed like every nigga in the room was fighting.
“Marcos and Jaycion, stop!” I yelled wanting to jump in, but afraid I was going to get my ass knocked out. These were grown men fighting so I knew that their hits would hurt like hell.
Pop! Pop! Pop!
Gunshots rang out and people started running in every direction. Jaycion’s bodyguard scooped me up and carried me out of the room like I was a rag doll. I searched around the room for Kitty and spotted her running towards another exit door with Ralph. I looked for Marcos and Jaycion but they were lost to me, as most of them were still fighting so I didn’t know which was which.
“Stay here, he’ll be up Lee,” the bodyguard said shoving me into the penthouse of the hotel. I went to the hotel phone and with shaky hands I called Kitty.
“Lee! Are you okay?” she yelled into the phone.
I sat down on the couch in the seating area of the penthouse.
“Yeah…that shit was crazy. I shouldn’t have come. I have to do better than this. Yes my intentions were good but I’ma have to distance myself from Jaycion until I have this shit sorted out with the twins.”
“So you think you the only one that has a say so in this shit Harlow? Do you think I’ma fucking wait a lifetime for you to get your shit together?” Jaycion asked making me jump. I looked up at him. His eye was swollen and his lip was busted.
“Hey Kitty, I’ma call you back, but I’m okay,” I said and ended the call. I took off my shoes and stood up.
“I ruined your birthday. I can’t see you again until I have my shit in check Jaycion.” Jaycion took off his shirt and tossed it on the floor. He wiped the sweat off of his forehead.
“Lee, if I was just some random nigga then I would understand your position. You’re married with
kids to two niggas that are knee deep into all kinds of shit but this is me. Not J-Mac but Jaycion. Man you know better than that. I loved you before those niggas even knew you existed. Those should be my kids and you should be my wife. I refuse to lose out on more time with you because of them. Usually I would let it slide but with you I just cant. I can’t sit back and watch them bring you down. Damn! Don’t you wanna be with a nigga that loves you wholeheartedly? I mean love you so much that they would kill a nigga for even thinking about fucking you, not allows their brother to hit it too. Those niggas can’t possibly love you like I do!” he yelled. My chest heaved up and down as I stared at him.
“So what, I’ma leave Marcio to get with you? Then when we break up, you’re gone and all the years of our friendship has been thrown out of the window. Who’s to say that this isn’t an infatuation Jaycion?” Jaycion walked over to me and grabbed my face.
“Harlow it’s way past infatuation. In middle school, yeah, I was infatuated with the girl with the light ass hair and big ass even then I knew you were going to be the shit Lee. Then we got older and I watched you grow into this beautiful ass woman, and it scared me because I wasn’t ready to commit; but I also didn’t want for a nigga to scoop you up, so I played you close. Those niggas was only able to get to you because I was touring and all of that bullshit. If I would have been home I would have stopped the shit before it even started because you belong to me.” I stared up into his eyes shaking. The thought of being with Jaycion terrified me because if we didn’t work out we had so much to lose. I knew once we crossed that line that things would never be the same.
“Well if you love me like you say do then give me time. I come to you a lot because I love you as well, but also because you are my backbone. I can be weak around you and know that I’m good because you are going to hold me up. Right now I am at a crossroads in my life where things just aren’t right and I don’t want to put you in harm’s way. I also don’t wanna start anything out on a bad note. Just because I got with the twins don’t mean I’m okay with adultery. Please let me clear up all of my loose ends then we can discuss if we should take the next step. Right now I have to get my shit together for my kids so can you just continue to be my friend for now?” I asked hoping that I wasn’t going to have to lose him too, but I just couldn’t start anything with him while being married to Marcio. Inga and Hayden was going through all kinds of bullshit with Tegan because of that reason alone. You can’t start a relationship out on a lie, you just can’t.
“…Okay, but don’t lead a nigga on Lee. If you love me like you claim you do you gotta keep it real at all times. If you feel like you wanna stay with your husband then tell me and we can pretend like this conversation never happened, because I would rather have you in my life as a friend than not have you at all. Leading me on will push me away. I won’t be able to take that.” I nodded and he leaned towards me. I closed my eyes as his full lips brushed across mine. I opened my mouth to accept his tongue and he smiled against my lips.
“Nah ain’t no sampling a nigga. Like you said, you got some loose ends you need to tie up so let’s chill out and watch some movies or do you need to go home?” he asked. I just loved how he left me hanging on the kiss but he was right so I wasn’t going to trip.
“Yeah, I need to go check on my babies. Was anyone hurt?” I asked stepping back. Jaycion shrugged placing his hands on the top of his head.
“Nah, but Marcos did get shot in the leg. I couldn’t let him slide for calling you a bitch. Baby daddy, husband number two whoever the fuck the nigga is I don’t care. You are not to be disrespected. His people had to carry his ass up out of there,” he said nonchalantly and walked away. I stared at his back as he disappeared into the bathroom. His fucking ass should have said that shit the minute he stepped into the fucking penthouse.
Chapter Ten
Elsie
“Are you sure?” I asked Dr. Barker. She looked at me and she slowly nodded. I laid back on the bed and placed my hands on my face. “Are you really serious right now? How could I have cervical cancer?” I asked with trembling lips. I had been cramping really bad for the last few weeks and came in for a check-up. I had her give me a pap smear just to make sure everything was okay and my results came back a few days ago that it was cancer.
“You haven’t had a pap smear in two years Elsie. I checked your charts and I see that you did go to the lab downstairs to be tested for STDs every few months but that still doesn’t check for cancerous cells. They could have been building up over time. You also could have come in contact with someone that has HPV and you could have acquired it that way. You do have options, you could do chemotherapy or you could decide to get a hysterectomy. The cancer has grown a lot Elsie, so you have to decide quickly what you want to do. You can also do radiation therapy. I have all of the pamphlets for you to look over. A lot of women survive cervical cancer. I’m happy that we were able to catch it, now we just have to handle it,” she said confidently. I shook my head as a few tears escaped my eyes.
“I’m not even thirty. I mean I never wanted kids but damn, to have that choice just taken away from me is devastating. It’s not fair,” I said shaking my head. Dr. Barker rubbed my leg.
“I know but this is life. We’ll deal with it and you don’t have to go through with the hysterectomy. Let’s try some chemo and see how your body responds to it. Look over everything and then you decide,” she said in a comforting tone. I nodded still in disbelief. “I’ll be at my desk. Please call me if you have any questions but actions needs to be taken immediately Elsie. This cannot be put on the back burner. Women die every day from cervical cancer. I do not want to add you to that list sweetheart,” she said before leaving the room. I pulled myself together and climbed off of the table. I put my clothes back on, grabbed the pamphlets and made sure to re-schedule an appointment before leaving. Elijah was meeting with his maybe baby momma, to get a DNA test, and I prayed that the kid wasn’t his but honestly at this point I didn’t even give a fuck. Obviously I had bigger shit to worry about like staying alive. His issues with a cartel princess were so trivial to me now. I got into my Audi and decided to go to my parent’s home, a place that I rarely visited. I wanted to be comforted and I hoped that just once my parents could do what normal parents did and that was love their child. I didn’t wanna get my hopes up but I prayed that today they could be there for me just this once, and I wouldn’t bother them again if they could just hold me this one time.
It took me forty-five minutes to pull onto their property and I parked near my mother’s S500. I wiped my eyes that were still wet and looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was freshly done in a short pixie cut, I wasn’t wearing any makeup and I was dressed down in jeans with a camisole and cardigan. I had two freshly done tats on my hands that were small but very detailed roses and I had them bandaged. The moment my wrist healed I went to get them done. I applied some gloss to my heart-shaped lips and added a little powder to my face before getting out of the car. I rang the doorbell instead of just walking in because the last time I did that, sir acted a damn fool. One of my parents many maids answered a few seconds later, smiling at me.
“Hi Elsie, how have you been?” she asked smiling. She was one of their newer maids and honestly I couldn’t even remember her name; they had a whole staff full of people.
“I’m good, are my parents here? I see my mom’s car,” I said trying to hold in my tears that were begging to escape again. She looked me over and nodded.
“Yes of course, she’s having an early dinner, right this way,” she said and turned around. I closed the door and followed her down the long hallway and into the family dining room. They only used the formal one when they had dinner parties. It was entirely too big to use on an everyday basis. I spotted my mother sitting down at the cherry oak table, eating salmon and looking very laid back, in a red blouse with slacks with her long hair pulled into a hair tie. She looked up at me and she smiled. Her smile threw me off because she usually gave u
s the TV reporter smile that she used for work, but this smile seemed genuine. I ran over to her and I hugged her tight. She laughed pushing me back.
“Elsie, what is wrong with you girl?” she asked smiling. I shook my head and hugged her again. She sat very still almost like she was holding her breath.
“What the hell is going on?” sir asked making me jump. I stood up and turned to look at the man that had helped in giving me life and that had also aided in ruining my life. He’d taken plenty of things from me that I would never get back and even still a small part of me yearned for his love.
“Hey um….dad,” I said quietly. His almond shaped eyes damn near bulged out of his head. For him to be in his late fifties my parents carried themselves as if they were in their thirties. Sir was wearing a black suit with a grey shirt and black loafers. He took a step into the room and my mother stood up.
“Elsie just stopped by. When did you get home?” she asked him stepping up next to me. He looked at both of us and I could tell that he was extremely mad at me for calling him dad. I hadn’t been allowed to call him that for years.
“What the fuck is that on your hands?” he asked.
“New tattoos,” I replied wondering why that even mattered. He shook his head smiling.
“The way you defile your body is just ridiculous. Why exactly did you come by?” I looked at my mother and she held her head down and walked over to him. It was then that I knew that even when I told them about my cancer they wouldn’t care. They’ve never cared about me or my sisters.
“Can we please go somewhere and talk?” I asked as my eyes watered.
The Way That I Love You 3 Page 10