“Hello,” he answered in an irritated tone. I pulled onto the freeway determined to stay away until I knew I would be coming home divorced.
“Marcio, I really wish that things could be different. You have put me between a rock and a hard place so I was forced to do something drastic. I want a divorce. My lawyer is going over everything now and drawing up the papers. The sooner you sign them the quicker I will be back with our kids. I had no choice.”
“No choice? You take my fucking kids and try to force me into divorcing you and you had no choice? Look, I know that threesome caught you off guard and I’m sorry mami. I was being selfish and I wanted you to be as jealous as you have been making me feel. I’m sorry, if I could take it back I would. I can make Jhene leave now,” he said apologetically. I shook my head refusing to fall for his shit this time. He was just trying to play nice so that I could come home.
“Marcio, it doesn’t matter anymore. I tried, I swear I did. I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life but the love just isn’t there anymore. Please sign the papers when they arrive so that we both can move on with our lives. I would never keep the kids away from you.”
“That’s what the fuck you are doing right now Lee! You better get your pill head ass back here right fucking now! If I have to find you, I swear I will kill you,” he said and I believed every word. He showed me that he cared nothing about ending my life as he placed his gun to my head several times while he raped me. I ended the call and pulled the battery out of the back of it. I tossed them both onto the seat and turned on the praise channel. Marcio could look for me all he wanted, but I was content with knowing that soon I would be very far away from him and damn, for a piece of mind you would do just about anything.
Chapter Fifteen
Tegan – six months later
Me: I guess you gonna wait until their kids are grown for us to try to get them back. What the fuck Harper, it’s been months and they’re doing well!
Harper: Look, I told you that Hayden sent me away to work on this company we own in Atlanta. I think the nigga knew some shit because he was acting funny as fuck. I had to go because it’s my job to handle the technical shit, so he would have known something was up if I said no. But I’m back and I got a surprise planned for Inga so just chill out. I don’t see you doing shit to break them up.
Me: Between work, school and Hasan my time is limited Harper. You don’t have any kids and you really can make your own work hours or at least get more shit done than I can. I’m just tired of them flaunting their betrayal in my face aren’t you?????
I closed my laptop as Eric stepped into the room. He climbed onto his bed and kissed me. I kissed him back, moaning against his lips. For the last six months I played house with Eric and plotted on Inga. My thoughts were consumed of her and Hayden. She was having a vowel renewal ceremony in two months and I needed something to happen fast so I could break them up and before I lost my damn mind; I was tired of looking at them. I was now engaged to Eric and even that didn’t make Hayden come back to me. It actually did the opposite. He acts like he hates me now which was not the effect I was going for.
Hayden took me to court for custody of my son so we now have joint custody. I have him Monday through Thursday and he has him from Thursday until Sunday. All I do is stuff Hasan full of candy before they pick him up, praying he goes over there and gets on Inga’s last damn nerve. Shit, the bitch shouldn’t be getting pregnant back to back any damn way and shit when her ass claimed she couldn’t even have kids.
“So you leaving tomorrow huh?” Eric asked me pulling me to his side.
“Yeah, but I won’t be gone long. Harlow is sending us on a scavenger hunt to get to her damn house. I’m so tired of my friends then Elsie has been missing in action for months. I swear if she is back on Inga’s side I’m through with her ass.” Eric looked at me and chuckled.
“Damn, why does it have to be sides when she was both of y’all friend? That’s some high school ass shit right there Tegan. You need to let this anger go before it consumes you. Bitterness is like swallowing poison and hoping that the person you hate dies. It only kills you in the end. Baby, we’re about to get married next year and hopefully give Hasan a little brother or sister. You have so many reasons to be blessed. I mean I let the shit go with your ex-husband just so that we could let the past go. I knew trying to get him locked up would only cause more problems in you and Hasan’s life. Can you let this go Tegan?” he asked looking at me with his grey eyes. I stared at him wishing it was that simple. If I let it go then I would have to watch Inga live the life I should have and that just wasn’t going to happen. I looked at Eric and wondered for a second if I could just be with him? He was a good man and the sex was good too. The sex was just better when I wasn’t supposed to be doing it with him. That thrill that I got when I was doing something I knew was wrong, was now gone. So it really wasn't a point in pretending that he would be enough because in my heart I knew that he wouldn't be. I caressed his shaved cheek and smiled at him.
“Baby, I promise I’ma let it go. It’s taking some time but I swear I’m working on it.” Eric stared at me for a moment. I guess trying to see if I was telling the truth before he nodded and rolled onto his side. I slid up to him and hugged his back. It wasn’t that I didn’t love him I just also wanted Hayden back. I wanted things to go back to how they were when I had both of the men I loved and soon it would be like that again.
“I love you so much Eric,” I whispered in his ear as I reached around his narrow waist for his dick. Eric gently pushed my hands away.
“What I loved about you when I first met you was how driven you were. You were determined to be the best lawyer that you could be. You were happy and so full of life. When I finally got a chance to be with you I was like damn, I can’t fuck this up; this one right here is the one. Sadly, all of the things I loved about you is no longer here and I’m starting to think they may never return. While on your trip, I want you to decide what you really want out of life and out of me because I love you Tegan, but I refuse to come second to Hayden again. I can find a woman to make me happy. I might not love her like I love you but I could find someone to marry and I can go on with my life. I need for you to figure out what the fuck you’re doing and do it fast, because I’m starting to feel like me and you getting engaged was a mistake,” he said and got out of the bed. I watched him disappear into the bathroom before closing the door.
I was different now but shit, the things I had been through had made me this way. I wish I could just let go of all of the pain I felt. Hell if I could have I would have done that a year ago. I tried but no matter what, my thoughts always go back to how I was betrayed. Maybe it was because every time I turned around Hayden and Inga was in my face flaunting that damn baby. I rolled onto my back and looked up at the ceiling. I did need to get back to being happy but I didn’t even know how to do that without Hayden.
****
“So what’s been up?” I asked Elsie as we sat inside of Harlow’s living room. Everyone was drinking except for Inga. Inga ugh. Why the bitch was here I had no clue and now she was sporting her baby bump all proud. I’m sure she was just trying to piss me off because the bitch could have covered that shit up with a bigger shirt. I was just happy her skinny ass had gained weight; she was starting to look cracked out.
“Well there was a reason why I asked that you all show up to Harlow’s invitation. Besides the fact that we miss her crazy self, I also wanted to share some news with you all,” Elsie said sitting up in her seat. Elsie was usually the one that stuck out amongst us for her style and choice of haircut, but today she was looking a little bad. She wore a tattered True Religions baseball cap with a white V-neck and black Michigan State yoga leggings. She had always been slim with plump assets but her whole body just looked frail today. I prayed she hadn’t gotten hooked on anything. Harlow and her pill addiction showed me that addiction truly could happen to anyone.
“I um…I’m sick,” she said weakly.
Harlow’s boys ran into the living room chasing after each other. Harlow jumped up frowning at them. It was weird to sometimes to see us in mommy mode because I didn’t ever really think of us having kids; now we all did except for Elsie.
“Boys go to your room and play! Mommy is talking with your tias right now,” she said grabbing them up. They laughed and struggled to get free as she carried them back out of the room. I stared at Elsie not sure exactly what she was saying to us.
“Sick like what? A cold or do we need to fuck Elijah up?” Inga asked. I rolled my eyes.
“Elsie, what exactly is wrong with you?” I asked her. Elsie shook her head slowly as her eyes watered. My heart started to pound in my chest because I could feel that something was incredibly wrong. “Elsie... what is it?” I asked again in a lower voice.
“It’s….cervical cancer,” she replied.
“What!” Harlow yelled walking back into the room. I closed my eyes trying to process Elsie’s words. Cervical cancer? How?
“Elsie….no,” Inga sobbed running over to her. I fought back my tears for as long as I could but the moment I looked at Elsie the dam broke. To see someone you love so much tell you that they have a life threatening disease it truly is one of the worst things you could feel. I pulled my legs to my chest as Harlow stood near the wall silently crying as Inga hugged and cried on Elsie’s shoulder. We were a mess.
“It’s going to be okay. I mean really it is,” Elsie said smiling at us with teary eyes. We all looked at her not quite believing it. It was obvious the cancer was taking some kind of effect already. She looked extremely sick. I just thought when she kept avoiding me that it was because she had maybe been hanging with Inga, but nothing like cancer. That never popped in my mind.
“I’m on chemo and it makes me really sick. If this doesn’t work then I will have to get a hysterectomy. I mean I never wanted kids but to just have everything taken out of me doesn’t sit well with me, but for my life I will give it up if I have to. I don’t want you all to worry because I need to focus on my health and trying to get better. My um…my hair is thinning so that’s why I have my cap on. Elijah likes it low like this though. He even cut his dreads off and said that we were now twins. Y’all should see him with his Caesar, he looking too good,” she said smiling. I smiled with her but I wasn’t happy about anything at the moment. She took off her hat and her hair was barely there, but her beauty was still present and hair couldn’t change that. She ran her small hand over her hair and shrugged. “I mean…I’m going bald I guess,” she whimpered and started back crying. Inga pulled her into a hug and together they cried. I looked away with tears running down my face. The thought of losing Elsie terrified me.
“We’ll get through this. I know we will. I mean we made it through Parker Jeans, Grant Hills, Shearling coats, Melissa’s and Goose Downs we can make it through this,” Inga joked as she went through the fashion fads that were big at one point in time in our lives. We all laughed seeming to think back on when we all rocked those things. For a second things felt like the old days until Inga’s phone started ringing. I could tell by the ringtone it was Hayden. Inga was obsessed with Brandy and I knew that the song “He Is” had to be his ringtone. I stared her down as she pulled the phone out of her pocket and answered it.
“Hey baby….um yeah I am….look can I call you back?” she asked glancing around at us.
“Yes please do! We are talking about some serious shit right now!” I yelled looking at her. Inga shot me a glare and said a few more words before ending the call. Elsie looked at me and shook her head.
“This has to stop you guys,” she said still holding on to Inga. What was funny was that she said that she would always be on my side but she’s now clinging on to Inga talking to me like I’m the problem. It pissed me off because Elsie had always been the closest with me.
“What has to stop Elsie? I will never be okay with her being with Hayden and you two shouldn’t be okay with it either.”
“Tegan…” Harlow said in a warning tone. I looked up at her.
“No don’t Tegan me. When did you two become team Inga all of a sudden? I mean I really wanna know,” I said genuinely interested. Elsie pulled away from Inga and slowly stood up. She put her cap back on and looked down at me.
“I wanted us to have a weekend where we could all just be friends again. Yes Inga fucked up. Yes, she did the unthinkable but damn, how long are you going to yell the shit? I am so fucking mad at her for doing what she did Tegan. I feel like she fucked my man because that’s how close I am to you. Your pain became my pain. The fact is that she is with Hayden now. Although Inga and I argued a lot I still love her very much, and I don’t want to say goodbye to our friendship. I just don’t and I’m sorry Tegan. I feel fucked up behind it because I know that she hurt you and regardless of who you were fucking you didn’t deserve that from either of them but it happened. Will you ever get past it? I mean aren’t you tired of being angry? Arguing with her every time you see her? It looks tiring,” Elsie said looking at me. I wiped away a few tears that slid down my face and stood up. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. If Inga would have fucked Elijah then Elsie would have been screaming fuck that bitch but since it was Hayden I was supposed to get over it. I should have stayed my ass at home.
“What’s funny is that everyone is acting like I’m the bad guy. I have loved
Hayden since the day that I met him. You hoes don’t get the right to tell me when to get over this betrayal. I married that man and had his kid. I have every right to be angry and to you Inga, all I can say is enjoy it while you can. Bitch when I say you on borrowed time, I’m not even playing. I’m dead ass serious. I’ma always be here for you Elsie but this fake ass shit I just can’t do. I’m good on y’all for the moment. Call me with an apology then we can talk; until then, y’all can kiss my black ass,” I said before walking away. Inga had successfully found a way to turn my friends away from me.
Chapter Sixteen
Harlow
“Marcos don’t do this,” I pleaded looking at the man that I used to love with all of my heart. Situations change and you start to see someone for who they are when the love you thought you had fades away. In Marcos and I case, we went from being addicted to each other to hating each other. With us it really was one or the other.
“Lee…you starting to piss me the fuck off. I don’t even know who you are anymore. What I want is for you to tell me where the fuck my daughter is at so I can get her. She belongs with me,” he said angrily. I shook my head as I hugged my body. I’d came to the city to go to court and ran right into Marcos. He served me with a court ordered document that says I have to turn over Jolie to him. It’s such a bitch thing for him to do considering he didn’t even want her in the first fucking place. I love that little girl and she is my child.
“So you can do what with her? You don’t even fucking want her Marcos.” Marcos’ nose flared as he took a step towards me. He’s wearing a black Givenchy t-shirt with a lion on the front, with black jeans and black Giuseppe high top sneakers. His hair is cut into his signature curly taper, with his beard slightly long and his facial hair trimmed. It was really sad at how things turned out for us. I really didn’t see any of this coming. I guess the life you want isn’t always the life you need.
“Lee, she’s my daughter. I don’t have to tell you shit. You worry about that rapping ass nigga that you fucking,” he said angrily. So because he thinks I’m having sex with Jaycion now he wants to take my child? I hadn’t talked to Jaycion since I left town.
“I haven’t seen or talked to him since I left Marcos. I have been working on me and my kids. I go to therapy twice a week. We’re all active members in a church and I even started sewing clothes. The kids and I are focused on living a quiet, happy life. Why would you want to tear us apart? I’ll let you see Jolie whenever you want to. Just please don’t uproot her from the mom she has known for the past two years Marcos. Her mother is already gone, don’t take me away from her.�
�� I looked into his eyes trying to show him that my love for Jolie was real and that this wasn’t the way to get me back, but the hate-filled look that he gave me back showed me that he didn’t give a fuck about how I felt. He ran his hand over his mouth exposing a rose gold pinky ring that was covered in diamonds.
“Look, you have until Friday to call me or else I’m calling the cops. Jolie comes with me, you can’t get rid of me and keep her. Sorry mami, it just doesn’t work that way,” he said un-apologetically. He walked up on me and grabbed my face. I snatched it out of his grip and he chuckled. “I’ma always love you Harlow. You know I fucked up a lot but I never thought that I would lose you. Maybe we could go somewhere and talk. Try to see if maybe we got a chance at getting back together,” he suggested with his hand on my hip. I looked him in his hazel eyes and wished I could say yes. Marcos was sorry about getting caught up but not for what he had done. He would only change when he had to and right now I could see that he was very much the same man that I left months ago. Going back to him would set me back in more ways than one.
“I can’t Marcos…in therapy I discovered that you have a lot to do with my anxiety and why I feel the need to get high. Our relationship was toxic. I still love you though. I really do and I want my baby. Please don’t take her away from me,” I pleaded one more time. His face softened and for a second I felt like he would say yes. I smiled until he leaned towards me and whispered.
“I’m sorry mami but I can’t, and I still love you too. That’s the only reason why you are alive and not six feet under for all of the hell you put me through. You have my sons and although I’ma let you keep them, I can’t let you keep Jolie. She should be with me. Don’t forget to call me Lee.” His warm lips pressed against my cheek and he walked off leaving behind his scent. I whimpered wanting badly to cry but I didn’t. I still had to meet with Marcio. I pulled myself together and walked into the building. I patted my face as I walked down the hall, through the metal detectors and over to my lawyer that was speaking with Marcio and his lawyer. Marcio looked like he had stepped off of a Tom Ford campaign ad with his black suit that fit him so well that you knew it was tailored just for his body. From his cuff links to his Patek Phillippe watch down to his shoes, Marcio screamed gentleman but his actions had shown me otherwise. I guess looks could be deceiving. I slowed down my walk as I approached them. Marcio’s hazel eyes found me and he put his hands into his pockets. My sons were Marcos’ kids biologically but I am married to Marcio so legally they are presumed to be his kids and he is trying to get full custody of them. We have been battling in court for months and were just waiting on the judge to let us know how she’s going to split everything up, but as far as the kids go we have to go to family court for them. It’s like a non-ending battle with the twins. I just wanted to live and be happy.
The Way That I Love You 3 Page 14