Book Read Free

The Way That I Love You 3

Page 20

by Dominique Thomas


  “Fucckkkk,” I let out not caring who was around. The nurse patted my back further pissing me off.

  “It’s okay,” she assured me. The contraction slowly subsided and I sighed. I was tired already and this shit had just begun.

  “I’m thirty two weeks,” I replied with a whimper. “I need an epidural right now,” I said not wanting to do natural. The pain was just too much and I knew that I still had to fucking push. The nurse pushed me onto the birthing center floor and down to a bed. She pushed the curtain back and walked off to grab me a gown. She came back as another, stronger contraction hit. I bent over in the wheel chair clutching my stomach. The pain was so bad I just wanted to die. I closed my eyes and told myself not to yell. I didn’t wanna ever be that woman but damn, the pain had me ready to kill somebody. I changed into the gown with a shaky hand. As I began to walk over, I was hit with another contraction. I stopped walking and whimpered as a few tears fall down my face.

  “”Oh God, oh God,” I groaned.

  “Iggy you okay?” Hayden asked running up to me. He tried to hug me and I pushed him away. He grabbed my face and slowly caressed my cheeks. “It’s okay baby just breathe. Just breathe….breathe baby,” he murmured looking at me with the same eyes my daughter and I’m sure our son would have. I stared into his eyes and slowly breathed in through my nose and out through my mouth, all the while he walked us over to my bed. Hayden picked me up and gently placed me on my back. The nurse worked quickly as she connected me to monitors that tracked the contractions, she read the charts as she put my legs into the stirrup.

  “Wow, they’re coming back to back. Let me check you out,” she says sliding down between my legs. I prayed the contractions died down as she checked my cervix. “You’re fully dilated. We gotta get you in the back. How long have you been having contractions?” she asked standing up.

  “For a few days now,” Hayden answered holding my hand. I looked at him with a frown on my face. He shook his head squeezing my hand. “Ma, I told you that you wasn’t having no damn Braxton Hicks’ contractions when you called me. At least not last night, you couldn’t even sleep they were so strong. That’s why I didn’t want you to go with Elsie. I could feel that you was about to have our baby,” he replied. I went to answer and another contraction hit me like a truck, from my lower back to my front. I squeezed his hand as hard as I possibly could. Hayden held my hand and made me look at him for every contraction I had, while the nurse took me into a delivery room and prepped it for my doctor who was on the way.

  I felt the urge to push thirty minutes into being in the delivery room. Hayden sat by the bed while my sister and Harlow stood on the other side of the bed. My doctor sat on a stool between my legs urging to me to push, but I was so tired I didn’t know if I had it in me.

  “Inga, you gotta push baby,” Hayden said looking down at me. I shook my head feeling another contraction come on. I closed my eyes as that shit hit me like lightning.

  “I can’t! Shit,” I said trying to close my legs. Hayden kissed me deep on the lips almost like he was trying to give me some of his energy then he kissed my sweaty forehead. My straight hair was now curled up from sweating so damn hard and I’m sure I looked crazy as hell.

  “Come on ma, you can do it. He’s ready to come out baby. Don’t you wanna see our son?” he whispered in my ear all while holding on to my leg. I whimpered as the urge to push or poop hit me again. I took a deep breath and pushed as hard as I could.

  “That’s it baby, push!” Hayden yelled while my sister held onto my other leg coaching me on how to push. I pushed two more times and stopped. I was so incredibly drained.

  “The head is right there, we can see the hair Inga, push one more time,” Harlow said. I started to cry as I pushed again with the little energy that I had left in me. I felt a burning sensation like no other in my vagina as I pushed my baby boy out. Hayden gripped my leg tightly as my doctor aided in pulling my son out of me.

  “Oh!” I yelled completely overwhelmed with emotion. A loud cry pierced the hospital room and Hayden grabbed my face. He kissed me repeatedly on the lips before cutting my sons umbilical cord. I fell back onto the bed and shifted on the bed when the afterbirth came out of me. I was wiped down along with my son and then he was checked out and weighed. Harlow and my sister Ashtyn hugged and kissed me.

  “Damn, he’s so beautiful baby. Thank you,” Hayden said walking back over to me. I closed my eyes, too drained even to speak to him as he kissed me on the lips. “I love you Iggy so fucking much,” he whispered in my ear. I gave him a lazy grin before dozing off to sleep.

  Chapter Twenty One

  Tegan

  Fair brown skin, curly black hair, greenish orange eyes. Hayden Jr. looked just like Hasan did when he was a baby. I stared at the computer in silence. It stung to see the picture pop up in my newsfeed that Harlow posted, but I didn’t cry. I did something that surprised the hell out of me. I actually liked the picture and continued to scroll down my timeline. I looked away from laptop and over at Domani as we sat on his private jet, and he looked up at me and smiled. He looked so tired but still handsome at the same time. Our weekend trip to New York took a lot out of him, but still I enjoyed every minute that me and Hasan spent with him. We had a connection that I couldn’t shake, and if we were to go a week without seeing each other we went crazy.

  I smiled back at Domani and closed my laptop. Hasan sat in his seat next to me asleep, stretched out and slobbering while we slowly landed. I reopened the laptop to check my email and Domani looked over at me again. He was out of his suit and wearing a Burberry plaid checkered brown shirt with black slacks and black Cole Hans. What I thought was adorable was that Hasan had on the same thing as him, only his shoes were just black Burberry sneakers. I opted out of dressing like the boys and threw on a black cardigan with a white camisole with black jeans. I wanted to wear sweats, but we didn’t have time to change after we left an appearance Domani had to do in New York. I could have changed on the jet but I didn’t.

  “Everything okay Tegan?” he asked rubbing his eyes that were hanging low, with bags under them.

  “Yes I’m good. Hayden and Inga’s son popped up on my newsfeed and honestly it stung a little because my son’s siblings are kids that my best friend had with my ex, but I’m okay,” I said shrugging. Domani and I never kept things from each other. Well he knew everything except for the fact that Hayden sometimes did illegal things. I knew that wasn’t my business to tell.

  “Are you sure? It’s okay to be mad, please don’t hold it in for me. I know how you feel about their situation. That doesn’t change what we’re working on,” he said. I just smiled at him because honestly he was too good to be true. Yes, he had things that he did that irritated me, like not putting the toilet seat down and watching the TV way too loud, but that was okay. I could deal with that. Domani wanted me to be me and he accepted that. When I told him that I wanted counseling from his assistant pastor, he was happy and encouraged me to get it. Then together we started counseling. His mom would joke and say that it was marriage counseling but it wasn’t. We didn’t have issues with each other, but we talked about things from our past that could affect what we were building and the counseling really helped us and it still is.

  I ran my hands through my hair, I had gotten cut a few weeks ago to the middle of my back, and I now had a Chinese bang. Domani said that he loved the look on me. Heck, his opinion was the only one that mattered.

  “I’m good Domani. I didn’t flag the picture like I used to or anything. I actually liked it and I moved on. They’re married and they’re having kids. It is what it is. I had almost forgotten that she was even having a baby,” I admitted and laughed. Domani looked at me.

  “Then that’s good.”

  “It is?” I asked. He nodded smiling.

  “Yes, that means that you haven’t been thinking about them and you have been focusing on you. That’s always been a good thing beautiful,” he replied and I blushed. I looked away f
rom him and decided to check my email. I guess that was a good thing then. I had been praying daily, sometimes two and three times a day. I prayed whenever I felt the need to so I didn’t keep count but I hoped it was working. I wanted to be a better woman so that I could be a better mother to Hasan. Focusing on Inga and Hayden was all I could think about when I was home, and that wasn’t fair to my child. I was going crazy with my obsession over them. I wanted to never be like that again so I prayed on it. So far God was showing me that he was really and truly all I needed to be okay. Domani was like my angel because he has helped me in ways I couldn’t even explain, and we haven’t even kissed yet. I felt a connection to him that I had never felt for any other man.

  “You need to get some rest Domani. You have been moving nonstop for the last few days. Are we going to your place to relax or are we going to the church? I have some work I have to do and is your mom still going to get Hasan for me?” The jet came to a complete stop and when we could stand, Domani came over to me. He sat down next to me and rested his head on my shoulder.

  “You know my mom will beautiful. I am tired but I have to attend some meetings at the church. How about we have my mom get Hasan, we head to the church, then we can get him once we are done? How does that sound?” he asked looking at me. I nodded lost in his gaze. He sat up and his lips brushed across my forehead then my cheek. He smelled so good and his touch was so endearing. I leaned into him and he pulled me into his arms. I didn’t wanna be dependent on Domani for my happiness, but it was easy to get lost in him because he was so strong. What I loved most was that his care for me made me stronger. He lifted me up and truthfully, neither Hayden nor Eric affected me quite like Domani did. It was a scary feeling because I didn’t wanna get hurt again. Domani had a million things pulling him away from me but still he managed to keep me and Hasan close. His mother and congregation accepted us with open arms. They all treated us as if we were already apart of the family. It was overwhelming at times but I dealt with it, because I knew that they were only trying to make us feel welcomed, which we did. Hasan loved Domani’s mother already and called her nana. My mother was deceased and Hayden’s mother lived in California, so Hasan was enjoying having a nana so close by that spoiled him rotten.

  “Tell me something good Tegan,” Domani said as he smiled at me with those dimples of his peeking out.

  “I enjoyed this weekend but it scared me a little,” I quietly admitted. Domani looked at me with questioning eyes.

  “Everything okay?” the pilot asked walking up to us. We both nodded and started to gather our things. Domani held a sleeping Hasan while his bodyguard carried our luggage off the jet. We got into his newest ride, a black S600 Maybach with the blackest tint that you could get on a car. Domani strapped Hasan into his car seat as the car pulled off. Once he was done, I rested my head onto his chest as he looked over a sermon he did back in New York this past weekend, on his iPad.

  “So why are you scared? Is it me?” Domani asked closing out the video.

  “No it’s not you.”

  “Is it Hayden or Eric? Do I need to talk to either of them?” he asked sounding nothing like pastor Domani Miles but more like the man that he said grew up in the Brewster projects before they wore tore down. I looked up at him and shook my head.

  “No it’s nothing like that. Don’t be getting all gangsta on me pastor Domani,” I joked making him smile. Domani shrugged as he looked down into my eyes.

  “I’m a man before I’m anything else Tegan. He can play games with your ex and whoever else, but if I don’t get the respect that I should have from him then I will demand it because I intend to show him respect so it’s only right I get it in return. God saved me but the projects did raise me,” he said making me laugh. For Domani to be worth billions he was by far one of the most down to earth people I had ever met.

  “No I’m scared because of us. I mean this, it terrifies me because I keep waiting for something bad to happen. I’m the happiest I have ever been and so is my son. I don’t want this to just be an illusion. I don’t know if I’m enough truthfully.”

  “What? Tegan,” Domani grabbed my face and I looked at him. His hazel eyes peered down at me as he shook his head. “Why wouldn’t you be enough? You’re educated, you’re a good mother and you’re the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I don’t want for you to ever feel like you are beneath me. I want a woman that is my equal. I thought that was you. Yes, I am many things but when I’m with you I’m just Domani, and you don’t know how happy that makes me. I know I might be coming on strong by demanding so much of you and Hasan’s time but that’s just me. I chase after my dreams and you Tegan are a wish come true. The past is the past. We’re each other’s future right?” I took a deep calming breath and sighed. He always knew what to say. I felt silly for even thinking those things.

  “Right.”

  ****

  A week later I found myself sitting in front of Eric. He had been out of jail for a while and awaiting his trial. The shame he had brought to his family and himself had made him pretty much go into hiding. I’d been reading the bible a lot since meeting Domani. I did bible study with him Wednesday, Friday and then we had church service Sunday when he was in town, but I went even when he wasn’t so I have had a lot of time to focus on God and his word. With each new thing I read I felt cleansed and better. Last week I was baptized and I received the Holy Ghost. I had never in my life felt anything as powerful and life changing as that. I felt so intimate with God and it didn’t make me perfect, but it opened my eyes. I could no longer ignore the lies and wrong I had done. I could no longer do the things I used to be because they just didn’t feel right anymore. I wanted to be better and to do better. I felt so bad for the things Hayden did to Eric, but I played a part in it so here I was trying to close this chapter in my life. Domani sat next to me quietly as Eric stared at both of us. At first Domani turned me down when I asked him if he could come but then when I explained to him how connected I felt to him and how he had become my best friend, he said that he would do anything to put a smile on my face including sit through a lunch date with my ex. It was not my intentions to hurt Eric or flaunt my new man in front of him. That wasn’t my intention at all. It was just that Domani and I were a team and there weren’t a lot of things that we didn’t do together.

  “So I see you found a new fool,” Eric spoke breaking the awkward silence. Domani sat up in his three–piece, wood blue, plaid Brooks Brother’s suit to say something to him, and I patted his thigh. Domani looked at me and I shook my head. I didn’t come here for drama and I expected hostility from Eric.

  “Okay Tegan,” Domani said sitting back in his seat. He adjusted his reading Gucci glasses that had him looking so sexy and stared at Eric. Eric met him with a strong glare and I felt the need to speak so that we could move this thing along.

  “Eric I came here to apologize. I’m not a hundred percent sure exactly what happened with this whole escort thing but I do know that I lead you on for a long time because I wanted to be greedy and selfish. I’m sorry for that Eric, I really am,” I said meaning every word. Eric turned his attention from Domani to me.

  “So since you with Marvin Sapp over here you supposed to be saved? You can cut the bullshit Tegan. After you fuck him up in the head you’ll be on to the next man. My whole life was ruined because of you! No matter what I do or how the case turns out I’m ruined. I fucking hate you! I hate you’re…”

  “See, what I was trying to do was let you have your moment but talking to Tegan like that just cannot be tolerated. Okay?” Domani asked. His big hand rested firmly onto the top of Eric’s shoulder. Eric was a slim, toned man but Domani was buff with his muscles and overall his body had at least fifty pounds or more on Eric. Eric glared at him and they stared each other down, until Eric finally caved in and sat back in his seat. Instead of a custom suit, Eric wore a grey V-neck with baggy jeans and black Converse sneakers. I felt bad because I could see just how bad he had fallen off. His hair
wasn’t cut and he had a five o’clock shadow that made him look very rugged and not in a good way. His grey eyes seemed to lack the life they usually held in them as he looked at me. The weight of how I played him just for my liking, weighed heavily on my heart. I did this to him.

  “I’m so sorry Eric. I did love you it just wasn’t what you deserved. You deserve a woman that will always put you first. I’m not perfect now and I never will be, but I’m trying to change and I want you to know that I’m praying for you. I hope everything works out for you. I do have hope that things will get better for you because God isn’t finish with you yet,” I said and stood up. Domani dropped some money onto the table and stood up with me. He grabbed my hand as Eric looked up at me. The pain he held in his eyes brought tears to mine. It seemed like I was always giving him the short end of the stick.

  “I wish I would have never met you Tegan. Don’t pray for me pray for your damn self,” he said angrily and swiped the money off of the table. I turned to walk away with Domani following behind me. We exited the steakhouse and climbed into the back of his truck that was waiting for us at the door. I sat silently as the truck pulled off. At one point in time I did love Eric, but I lusted him a lot more than I loved him and once Hayden left me and Eric came back, I got to see that being with him wasn’t what I needed either. I stayed with him because I didn’t wanna be lonely, but I knew in my heart that I wouldn’t marry him or anything like that. My leading him on has ruined everything he worked so hard for and I feel bad. I really do.

  “You okay?” Domani asked me as his business cell phone started to ring. I nodded as he ignored the call. His eyes stared at me intently, trying to dissect if I was telling the truth. “If you wanna talk I’m here. Eric’s hurt and right now he can’t receive your words because he’s dealing with his own issues. Just because you’re in a better place doesn’t mean he is baby. The same way God is helping you don’t think He isn’t working on Eric. He’s working on all of us because even the best of people need him. Let’s go get Hasan and go see the Avengers with my son. Things take time and maybe one day Eric will be able to see that you are sorry. Everything will be fine okay?” he asked me smiling. I nodded and he wiped away a few tears. He kissed my forehead like he’d done so many times and I sat my head on his shoulder as he made business calls from the car.

 

‹ Prev