Past Remembering

by Lyn Denison

  I was so put off my self-possession that when the uncharitable Mrs. Charles marched up demanding to be served at the instant, I handed her Dr. Beecham’s Liver Pills instead of her customary Perry Davis’s Painkillers. The irony of my choice had me stifling a laugh.

  When Mrs. Charles left with a hoity sniff, I drew myself quickly together and approached the young woman who had taken my breath away. When I addressed her, asking if I may be of some assistance to her, my voice sounded quite unlike my own. She turned and smiled so prettily at me. Her sweet lips were most inviting, and I thought that I might faint. She shyly asked for candles, and as I placed them on the counter, she looked with interest at my jars of spices. I asked her what she had need of, and a sadness touched her face. She told me ruefully that she had not the finances for more than the candles.

  Before we could talk more, heavy footsteps drew our attention, and we looked around to see a tall handsome fellow striding toward us. As he came nearer, I was taken by the hardness of his expression, the dissatisfied glowering of his brows. When I turned back to the young woman, an awful change had overcome her. I am convinced she was in fear of the man, and my hand strayed to the length of wood I kept beneath the counter for my protection. The man threw a few coins on the counter and bade the woman bring the purchase and leave. She would not meet my gaze and hurried after the man.

  As chance would have it, Mrs. Phillips was entering the store, and the rude man scarce gave her room to step inside. Mrs. Phillips, a woman made of stern strength, sent him a frown that would have surely withered a more mannered man. When I inquired as to who the couple were, Mrs. Phillips related that they were newly arrived to work a claim out at Mining Camp No. 2. The man, Will Gaines, was acquainted with a family who lived by the railway and his new young wife, Margaret by name, was of good family from Townsville. Her parents had been tragically lost in a buggy accident before her marriage. Mrs. Phillips made no bones about the fact that the young Mrs. Gaines had married beneath her. I could observe no reason to disagree with her sentiments.

  Margaret. I perceived her beautiful face each way I turned, and I was filled with joy, and then a great despair.

  Chapter Five

  Asha was thrilled by the description of the voyage from London after Georgie and his brother, Richard, boarded the Star of the South bound for their new life in Australia. It seemed that George Chaseley had begun his journal some time after landing in Moreton Bay.

  She read on, enthralled, until the shadows made her realize, she should be heading downstairs to dinner. She replaced the books and papers in the chest, suddenly guilty she hadn’t told Vivienne of her find straight away. But she hadn’t been able to stop reading Georgie’s story.

  However, she ate alone as Margo informed her Peri had taken Vivienne to see a friend, a member of the Women’s Guild who had taken suddenly ill, so Asha’s news would have to wait until the next morning.

  After her solitary dinner, Asha returned to the study and the old journals, her curiosity piqued by Georgie’s first sight of Margaret. She checked the marriage certificate. This must be Margaret Gaines, who was Peri’s great-great-grandmother. Peri would want to see this, too. And Vivienne would be so excited.

  The first entry in the second book was dated 1st September, 1890. It seemed that George Chaseley had just extended his store. George Chaseley didn’t make daily entries in his journal. In fact, sometimes there was a gap of months before he added his thoughts and the happenings and news from home. She was totally absorbed as she followed the growing love story between Vivienne’s husband’s great-uncle and the married Margaret Gaines.

  Taking great care Asha turned the pages.

  1st of September, 1890. Today I left Mrs. Phillips’s niece in charge of the store and rode out to Mining Camp No. 2. I could not contain myself a moment longer. I had to see sweet Margaret once more. Good sense bade me take caution, for the young lady was a married woman, but my heart’s yearning dispatched my good reasoning with ease and swiftness.

  My pretext for my journey was to take some printed notices out to the camp to announce the dance that was to be held to help raise funds for the hospital. The women were each to bring a plate of food, and these celebrations were well known in the district for the suppers, which were magnificent feasts.

  The day was excessively hot and still, with nary a breath to move the leaves or grasses. We have all prayed for rain to settle the dust, but I suspect our prayers will go unanswered, for the sky is naught but blue.

  By the time I reached the camp, I could scarce catch my breath my heart was racing so. I stopped to nail my notices to trees, my eyes searching for Will Gaines’s stake. Finally, I saw him working with a pick. He was shirtless, his broad shoulders gleaming, and I could believe to an innocent young girl he would be most comely. I called down to him about the dance, but he made no comment and set back to his work.

  I moved on, and when I caught sight of his camp, my heart began to ache. Sweet Margaret came to the opening of the rough dwelling that defied description. Old galvanized iron formed a roof, and the walls were made of canvas and some bark. Outside beneath more rusted iron was set the kitchen, open to the elements.

  “Mrs. Gaines,” I said her name politely and removed my hat. I could hear my voice again was not my own.

  “Mr. Chaseley,” she acknowledged me, her poor sunburned cheeks flushing.

  Her dark curls were gathered on top of her head with a piece of ribbon, and a few fine tendrils had escaped to rest on the curve of her neck. I had the great desire to place my lips to those sweet tendrils, and my heart raced at a delirious pace.

  I hurriedly explained about the dance and handed her the notice. She made a show of reading it and then remarked that a dance would be an enjoyable occasion. When I inquired about whether she would join in the frivolity, she looked most melancholy and told me her husband did not care for dancing. It would seem I am to be disappointed, for I will not see her there. With a reluctant sense of propriety, I left her then and I knew she watched as I rode away.

  29th of December, 1890. This Christmastime has been most rushed. I had many customers to the store and fell into my bed each night exhausted, to toss and turn in the wretched heat. Most of us feel tired and disinclined to move about, but there is much to do.

  Mrs. Phillips was delivered of a bouncing baby boy this last night, the Phillips’s sixth child. It is fortunate Mr. Phillips is such a fine baker, for it is a large family to feed and clothe.

  Richard sent news that the family is well and that his business continues to increase. He bade me to celebrate a joyous festive season and they all send their love to me.

  My sweet Margaret came to the store this afternoon. She appears so tired, and I worry so much for her. She purchased a small amount of supplies and bade me a soft Happy New Year as she hurried out to join her husband.

  The residents of the town will without doubt be most rollicking with there being over one hundred hotels in the town to entertain their revelries.

  This past year was opened the Stock Exchange, which has been established to raise funds for the deep reef mines.

  Mr. Daley took possession of a number of safety bicycles with the new pneumatic tires and some of the young men delight in riding out to Ravenswood and back for an outing. These bicycles, having two wheels, have been called man’s most efficient machine. I have added to my stock some superior shovels come from England, which have proved most popular. There is much competition for my store these times. Aridas Store, which was opened by two Sudanese brothers some four years ago, sells many exotic wares.

  The noise of the large iron breakers smashing boulders is colossal, and ninety percent of the gold comes from mines in or nearby the town. Many miners are dying from Miner’s Phthisis caused by dust on the lungs. Rock falls in the shafts have also claimed many men.

  We must look to the next year with hope for good health.

  27th of September, 1891. I have read that the Premier of New South Wales, Sir
Henry Parkes, has given a rousing address on the Federation of the Australian States. This was greeted with unprompted cheering. By all accounts, most are in agreement and now speak of “one people, with one destiny.” I am sure it is the most convenient thing to rule this great land under one government.

  8th of November, 1891. This day Margaret journeyed into town with her husband and Jim Jones on his wagon. She appeared so drawn and tired that I bade her to sit down by the window to catch any breeze there might be. It is obvious she is with child, and my heart aches with dread for her. We have lost so many women in childbirth in the family, I fear for her.

  When I brought her a glass of cool water, she thanked me for my kindness and I saw tears fill her eyes. I then fetched a fan and attempted to make a breeze for her. She said I was so kind and her sweet voice trembled and her tears fell even more. I passed her my handkerchief and she dried her eyes. She professed to feel most foolish, and that her tears did fall most of the time these days. I then assured her it was quite natural for women in her delicate condition to feel that way. When I inquired if she had visited the doctor, she shook her head and told me they could scarce afford the doctor’s fee.

  I had seen her husband drive on down Gill Street with Jim Jones, and I was reassured that I would perceive his wagon returning, so I took it upon myself to suggest she call in on Mrs. Phillips at the bakery. Mrs. Phillips is much experienced in the matters of women’s troubles and is the most well thought of midwife in the town. Margaret shyly shook her head and told me she could not be so bold as to speak to Mrs. Phillips. I smiled at this and bade my young assistant watch the store while I escorted Mrs. Gaines to the bakery. I left the young woman in Mrs. Phillips’s care and I was sure the midwife would have much good advice to impart.

  19th of December, 1891. This morning at sunrise, before the heat had time to settle upon us, I rode out to Mining Camp No. 2 to satisfy myself on the health of Margaret. I had not set eyes on her sweet face since her visit many weeks ago. I was most pleased to have news of her from Mrs. Phillips who had kindly visited her on two occasions. Mrs. Phillips expressed dismay that the young woman was to deliver her baby in such crude surroundings. Mrs. Phillips spoke on this to Will Gaines, but he would have none of his wife moving into town with Mrs. Phillips until the babe was born.

  This day Will Gaines was again at work on his claim and failed to notice me as I passed by. I suspect he has a duffer there, as he fails to scratch a bare living.

  I have to admit to a little secrecy when I approach, for I feel Margaret has a fear of her husband’s anger. I am aware I must take the utmost care not to displease Will Gaines for fear sweet Margaret would be made to suffer the consequences. He has often been to town in the company of other miners and was monstrous belligerent when the drink was in him.

  Margaret’s tired smile melted my heart, and I was able to see how difficult it was for her in the heat in her condition. I took a box from my saddlebag and gave her the wrapped piece of Turkish delight I had brought her for a Christmas offering.

  At first, she was reluctant to accept the tidbit, but at last, I convinced her to keep it. She nibbled the corner and her smile of enjoyment meant so much to me.

  We conversed about the weather, and she shyly bade me notice the sprig of wattle she had hung upon the doorway of her humpy as a Christmas decoration. I barely saved myself from putting my arms about her poor tired body and professing my deepest feelings for her. I took my leave with the heaviest of hearts, and when I turned back, she had continued to stand with her little hand waving to me.

  My next stop was the Jones’s claim. Here I sought the aid of Mrs. Jones, a rough but kindly woman. I made her a payment and obtained her promise that she would dispatch her eldest son to ride to town for Mrs. Phillips when young Mrs. Gaines’s time was come. I professed this was to be the secret wish of a relative of Margaret’s and silently asked a Higher Being to forgive my falsehood. Mrs. Jones, I had come to note, had no love of Will Gaines, what with his encouragement of her husband to over-imbibe. The good lady made an exclamation of disgust in the direction of Will Gaines and made me that promise. Since the Towers Brewery served its first brew in January past, Will and his cronies are wont to be observed as excellent customers.

  On my way back to town, although satisfied with my discussion with Mrs. Jones, I still suffered from the fear of what was to come. I am mindful of our dear mother, who was taken giving birth to our sister, Kate, who lived but a week. Our sister, Mary, barely of eleven years, then took on the responsibility of the house for Pa. As I grew older, I helped where I could. Nine years later, our Mary herself had succumbed when her own child was stillborn, and my dear friend Jane from my childhood, was lost this way. All this death weighed heavily upon me, and my fear for that sweet, gentle girl increased threefold.

  3rd of January, 1892. There has been much news concerning the shearers’ strike, and Richard and I have had much discussion on this. The shearers have set up camps and are armed with rifles. They say shearing wet animals is making them unwell and they are asking more than the pay of ten shillings for one hundred sheep shorn.

  Richard was most amazed when I related to him that the Brilliant Mine yielded 36,605 ounces of gold this past year, and the total of exports from North Queensland was 923,969 pounds, a wealth indeed. More than two million shares were traded in the Stock Exchange, which had been struggling to maintain itself for over six months after commencing operations. The discovery of the Brilliant Reef brought a rush these past six months. Our town is the largest city in the State outside Brisbane, and the population of fifteen thousand is said to likely double within the next ten years. The four hundred stampers make a frightful noise.

  In Townsville there is much concern regarding crocodiles. A white lad and a kanaka were taken by one of these fearsome beasts, right in the township. Phillips related to me that stray horses have been mauled and parts of them eaten. It is a truly awful thought.

  A Chinese hawker came by this past week, and I was so taken with the beauty of his exotic wares that I was wont to purchase a length of silk for Margaret. I have hopes of gathering the boldness to give this to her, but I fear my courage will fail me.

  3rd of March, 1892. This morn, as day was breaking, Margaret gave birth to a healthy son who will be named Robert. As I requested, young Jones rode to fetch Mrs. Phillips, and that dear lady returned not an hour ago with the wonderful news. She reports that Margaret is in great spirits and Mrs. Jones was to be of assistance to her. Will Gaines is now here in town to buy drinks for his cronies. It is to be hoped he will be in a stupor before heading back to the camp this night.

  1st of May, 1892. This morn, Margaret journeyed into town with Mrs. Jones. I have no knowledge of how she convinced Will Gaines to allow her to do so, but I am so grateful to see her with my own eyes. She carried the babe into the store for me to admire. He is truly a handsome child, and Margaret’s face was all aglow as she gazed at the tiny cherub. What I would give to have this sweet woman gaze at me with such love.

  Mrs. Jones went about her business, leaving Margaret with me. I sat her in a comfortable chair and hurried upstairs to brew her some tea. I set it all on a lace-covered tray and added some fresh made cake from Phillips’ Bakery. Margaret gazed at it with such delight. She smiled up at me, and I was sure the whole world around me stopped. I so wanted to take her in my arms and keep her safe. Some of my feelings may have been conveyed to her, and a pretty flush colored her cheeks. I was suddenly filled with remorse, fearing she would leave, but she showed nary a sign of horror. If I was as other men, I would surely relate the feelings in my heart. But I dare not speak of this.

  9th of July, 1892. Word arrived from Richard, and his letter contained much concern. He tells me the south of the country is gripped by financial crisis and that banks are closing every day. The State of Victoria is worst hit. He has hopes it will not reach the north but begs I take every precaution to protect my assets.

  18th of August, 1892. I was
wont to take some supplies out to the Mining Camp No. 2 due to the sudden illness of my cart boy. Will Gaines was working at his sluice and barely gave me time of day. I continued on to the pitiful tent he provided as home for his wife Margaret and their child. That sweet girl tried to keep her face hidden from me, but her wee babe set to crying and when she turned, I saw her poor face. The bruises were fresh and fierce and I became weak with the need to take her into the comfort of my arms. All at once, I experienced a burning anger and I yearned to kill that cowardly, awful man who was her husband.

  Indeed I believe I turned and would have rushed right down and taken great pleasure in squeezing his throat until he drew no breath and lay dead. Margaret put her hand upon my arm, made me pause, then bade me to calm myself. Her whispered words stay with me. “I could not bear to lose you, too, my brave Georgie.” Her sweet, small hand that rested on my arm was rough and work-worn, fingers red and raw with chilblains from the cold. If only there was some way I could free this sweet woman from this dreadful life.

  21st of December, 1892. Today came news from Richard. All is well there, although Richard is concerned for Maryann. She is leading them a merry dance with her coquettish ways. He is ever wishful she will gain half the sense of her sister, Georgina.

  Richard also says there has been much talk about the Government House. Many considered it was far too small for entertaining guests of the governor. Richard thinks John Petrie desires to build a new one, but Richard fears there may not be the finances.

  I was this last week given a young goat. I have told Mrs. Phillips she can have the milk for the children, and in return she can feed the animal with her scraps. When the goat is fattened up, we will have fresh meat for Christmastime.