Past Remembering

by Lyn Denison

  “Only with hindsight,” Asha said before she could stop herself, and she flushed.

  “Asha’s right,” Rosemary agreed softly. “We still thought Lance and Janet could have acted with more integrity.”

  “I suppose so.” Peri sighed. “But, to be fair, I didn’t give him all that much chance to explain anything, even if he’d wanted to. I was caught up in the arrangements for the actual ceremony and working so hard we barely saw each other, let alone had the chance to talk about anything.”

  “Maybe so,” said Rosemary. “However, I still think he could have spoken to you about not wanting to go through with the wedding before he did. He must have known he had feelings for Janet way before the wedding day.”

  Peri bit her lip. “I should have told him, too.”

  “What about?” Rosemary frowned. “That you had second thoughts as well?” She looked a little disconcerted, and Peri shot a quick glance across the table at Asha before looking away again.

  “Looking back, I think I threw myself into the arrangements for the wedding so that I wouldn’t have to face the fact that I really didn’t want to get married.”

  “But you and Lance had been together for so long,” Rosemary said.

  “I know, Rosie. Out of habit, I think. And I don’t really blame him for wanting more out of a relationship. I know I wasn’t in love with him.”

  Rosemary sighed. “Was there someone else? For you, I mean.”

  “No. Not then. It was just that I thought I had to get married. It was what everyone did.”

  “Some of us didn’t.” Rosemary laughed softly.

  “The sensible ones.” Peri grinned crookedly.

  “Not necessarily. Marriage isn’t for everyone, Peri,” Rosemary said and Peri shrugged.

  “And as you said, it’s in the past now and I’m okay with it.”

  “You’re sure?” Rosemary said gently.

  “Very sure. Janet aside, I know now it would have been a mistake for me to marry Lance.”

  Rosemary nodded sympathetically. “I’m so pleased you’ve finally put it all behind you.”

  “But seriously, Rosie, what about you?” Peri persisted. “You haven’t left any broken hearts behind in Melbourne?”

  “Hardly. It was a case of all work and no play. In fact I probably wouldn’t have recognized an attraction if it had done a dance in front of me.” She laughed and then sobered. “There was someone once. A long time ago. But”—she turned her coffee cup in its saucer—“it didn’t work out.”

  “I’m sorry,” Peri said and Asha nodded.

  “That’s how it goes sometimes.” Rosemary took a steadying breath. “Actually, this is a fairly good opening for me to tell you—”

  “Can you believe it?” Vivienne returned to the table and sat down. “Penny’s going off on a tour of Canada with her son and his wife. Maybe there’s hope for me yet.”

  “I didn’t know you wanted to travel, Viv,” Peri said and Vivienne laughed.

  “Oh, I wouldn’t mind, but I’m not sure my old heart is up to all that flying. Dickie and I went to England by ship you know. That was a lovely voyage.”

  “With Gran and Grandpa, before Grandpa died, wasn’t it?” Peri remarked.

  “Oh, yes. We went to England and Europe. We were all in our seventies, but we had a marvelous time.”

  “It’s a pity you hadn’t known about Richard and Georgie back then,” Asha said. “You could have visited the area where they came from.”

  “So we could.” Vivienne smiled. “Dickie would have loved that.”

  They went on to talk about other subjects, and had Asha not been so upset about Peri, she would have thoroughly enjoyed herself. Rosemary Chaseley was such interesting company.

  Another of Vivienne’s friends joined them and Peri stood up. “I should get going. I have to call in at my unit for a file and then get back to work, so I’ll leave you to it.”

  “And I feel I should get back as well,” Asha said. “With all the excitement of the journals, I’m way behind with the actual book. I’ll take a taxi.”

  “There’s no need for taxis, Asha, or for you to hurry with the book,” said Vivienne. “But if you do want to get back to the house I’m sure Peri can drop you off.”

  Asha glanced at Peri, but she’d slipped her sunglasses on again and Asha couldn’t see her eyes. “Oh, no. I don’t want to hold Peri up. A taxi will be fine.”

  “It’s all right, Asha,” Peri said. “I go right past Tyneholme, but I will need to stop off at my place on the way.”

  “And do you think you could post this off to Grace?” Vivienne pulled the manila envelope holding the journal transcripts out of her bag. “I want her to get it as soon as possible.”

  “Sure.” Peri took the parcel. “We pass the Post Office as well.”

  Rosemary laughed. “And can you do some grocery shopping and pick up the dry cleaning in your spare time?”

  “We don’t need groceries.” Vivienne tapped her daughter on the arm. “Oh, you! I’d forgotten what a tease you were, Rosemary.”

  Asha giggled. “For a moment I was getting ready to make a grocery list.”

  “Don’t encourage her, Asha,” Peri said. “Let’s get going while we can.”

  “We’ll see you back at the house. Drive carefully,” Vivienne called after them.

  Asha lengthened her stride to keep up with Peri. “I can still take a taxi if you want to get to work.”

  “It’s okay, Asha.” She held up the envelope. “We’ll call at the Post Office first.”

  In the car Asha fiddled with her seat belt, her mouth dry. Peri was far too close and she had to fight the urge to reach out and run her hand over Peri’s thigh.

  Without a word, Peri pulled out into the traffic and headed along the busy road. She turned into the Post Office car park and switched off the engine. “Do you want to come in with me or wait in the car?” she asked with little intonation in her voice.

  “I can wait here,” Asha said, and she swallowed the heaviness of tears that rose in her throat. Angrily she brushed at her damp eyes and told herself to get a backbone. She hadn’t done anything wrong. The misconception was Peri’s. But her heart ached for what could have been.

  Peri returned and Asha watched her surreptitiously as she strode across the pavement. She was so attractive she literally took Asha’s breath away. As she climbed into the car, Asha made a show of adjusting her seat belt in case Peri saw the wanting she knew was reflected in her eyes.

  Soon they were driving into the underground car park of a modern block of units. Peri used her security card and the door moved up. She drove in and parked, switching off the engine. “There’s no aircon down here, so if you’d like, you can come up with me.”

  Asha nodded, climbing out of the car and walking across to the elevator with Peri. Standing in the lift cubicle was more torture for Asha. Could Peri feel the heightened tension? She must.

  An eon later, the elevator doors slid open and Asha followed Peri to one of two doors. “Come on inside,” Peri said cordially enough, but Asha sensed her reservations.

  The unit was large and airy and Asha expelled a breath in awe. “It’s beautiful,” she said.

  The living room was antique white and the comfy-looking lounge suite was upholstered in a soft sage green. An amazingly vibrant abstract painting hung on one wall and large plate glass doors opened out onto a covered balcony. The view, from a slightly different angle, was as wonderful as it was from the front veranda at Tyneholme.

  Asha crossed the room. “Can I go outside?”

  “Sure.” Peri joined her and unlocked the doors. “While you’re looking at the view I’ll just get the file I need from my study.”

  Asha walked out onto the balcony and leaned on the rail. They were about ten floors up and a cooling breeze blew across from the river. She gazed about with interest, picking out a few landmarks, and then she sighed.

  “I find the view very restful.” Peri’s husky voice ca
me from behind Asha, and Asha’s skin tingled as though Peri had touched her.

  “I can understand that,” she said as evenly as she could. “Have you lived here long?”

  “About three years. It’s a new block and I bought the unit off the plan.”

  “It must be lovely at night, with the city lights.” Asha turned to face Peri, only to find she was much too close, and Asha was far too attracted to her.

  “Yes.” Peri had removed her sunglasses and her eyes held Asha’s. “Lovely,” she said softly.

  They stood like that for an eternity before Peri swallowed and turned back toward the living room. “It has two large bedrooms and a study, and a good-sized kitchen,” she added as they went back inside.

  There was a sideboard near Asha and she stepped across to look at the photographs arranged on the top. Asha was drawn to one, a head and shoulders studio portrait of a teenaged Peri smiling happily into the camera. She wore a deep blue dress that left her shoulders bare, and the color of the dress accentuated the smoky gray of her eyes. Her fair hair was piled in curls on the top of her head.

  “That was taken at my formal dance,” Peri said behind Asha.

  “And these are your parents?” Asha asked, drawing her eyes from Peri’s portrait. She’d not seen a photograph of Peri’s parents, although she had a box of photographs to go through that Vivienne had sorted out for her.

  “Yes. That was at their thirty-fifth wedding anniversary last year.”

  Off to Asha’s right she could see across a hallway and into the pale blue and lemon of what was surely Peri’s bedroom. She swallowed. Visions of Peri in her arms, the feel of her smooth skin, the sound of her heady murmurs, took hold of Asha and her nerve endings danced crazily. “You do look like your mother,” she said, her voice thin in her ears.

  “So I’m told.” The silence stretched tautly between them and then Peri’s hand reached out, her fingers running lightly up Asha’s arm from elbow to shoulder. Asha shivered.

  “I’m blown away by the softness of your skin. Do you know that?” Peri whispered brokenly and Asha’s heart raced. “When I’m near you I can’t think of anything but the touch of you, your kisses—” She leaned forward and her lips found Asha’s, nibbling tender, enthralling kisses against her mouth.

  Asha melted into her, drowning in a wave of arousal that left her weak and trembling. Her nipples hardened where they brushed against Peri’s and spirals of desire surged through her, making her moan into Peri’s mouth.

  “I can’t seem to not touch you,” Peri said raggedly. “It’s as though I’m totally bewitched by you.” Her arms slid around Asha, holding her close, and their kisses deepened.

  Asha’s hands shakily slipped Peri’s jacket from her shoulders, her fingers molding Peri’s breasts through her light, silky top. Peri gasped and leaned her hips against the sideboard, upsetting one of the framed photos. She pulled Asha against her and Asha’s leg moved between Peri’s as they strained together.

  “Asha! I need to—”

  The buzzing of the intercom made them both jump in fright. Asha stepped guiltily away from Peri, her face pale. “What’s that?” she asked, her voice thin with shock.

  Peri took a steadying breath and smiled crookedly. “Saved by the bell.” She reached down and lifted her discarded jacket from the floor before she crossed to the door. She pushed the button. “Yes?” she said tersely.

  “Does that mean yes I can come up?” said the disembodied voice of Jack Moyland.

  Peri pushed the button to let her brother through the security door below. “So how could we forget my brother, Jack?” she said cryptically as she shrugged her arms into her jacket.

  “Peri, I—”

  Peri held up her hand. “Don’t Asha! Let’s just say we needed that timely reminder about everything.”

  “Peri, I’ve explained about Jack.” Asha crossed the room then put her hand on Peri’s arm.

  Peri took her hand, kissed it gently and then let it go. “It’s easier this way, Asha. Jack’s—” She shrugged.

  “Jack’s not you,” Asha said softly, and then there was a sharp knock on the door.

  “I was hoping I’d catch up with you.” Jack stepped through the door Peri opened and stopped when he saw Asha. “Asha! Hi!” He moved forward and wrapped his arms around her. “What a nice surprise to see you, too.”

  Asha caught the sideways glance Jack shot at his sister and she gave a faint smile. “Yes. Peri’s kindly dropping me at Tyneholme on her way back to work.”

  “Did Asha tell you about the fantastic night we had at the Sporting Awards, Peri? It was a total experience, rubbing shoulders with the mega-famous, including her father.”

  “Yes, I heard,” Peri said evenly. “So what brings you here in the middle of a working day?”

  “Apparently, Gran’s been trying to reach Viv and no one’s answering at the house. When she couldn’t get you on your mobile, she rang me. You weren’t at work, and as I had to visit a client around the corner, I took a chance on finding you here.”

  Peri slipped her phone from her pocket. “Flat battery. There’s nothing wrong with Gran or Mum and Dad, is there?”

  “No, they’re all fine. But it seems she wants to read the copy of the journals Viv promised her, and they haven’t arrived.”

  “We just posted them.” Peri sighed. “I’d better give her a quick ring back.” She crossed to the telephone and punched in the number.

  “Gran’s a bit like Peri and me. When she wants something, she wants it now.” Jack laughed. “Have you been admiring Peri’s view? Fantastic, isn’t it?” He lowered his voice. “Or did I interrupt her showing you her etchings?”

  Asha blushed. “Jack! It was nothing like that,” she said with as much conviction as she could muster.

  He chuckled softly. “Don’t worry, I’ll make my exit ASAP. Don’t want to cramp your style.”

  Asha glanced across at Peri, but she had her back to them so she gave Jack a shove. “Will you please stop it? Peri will hear you and misconstrue.”

  “Is that before or after she challenges me to a duel at dawn?” He grinned.

  “Jack, it’s not amusing. Peri thinks, well, that there’s something between us and—” Asha shook her head.

  “If I thought I had a chance there would be,” he said, “but I know when I’m a beaten man. Still, a little competition won’t hurt. What do you reckon?” He put his arm around Asha’s shoulders as Peri replaced the receiver and turned back to them.

  Jack’s movement didn’t go unnoticed by his sister, and she folded her arms across her chest. “I think I’ve sorted that out. I sent the parcel by express post, so she’ll have it in no time.” She looked at her watch. “And talking about time, I have to get back to work. How would you like to drop Asha home, Jack, if you’re going that way?”

  “If I wasn’t I am now,” Jack said cheerfully, giving Asha a squeeze. “It would be my pleasure. Shall we go, Asha? We’ll leave this workaholic to her, well, work.”

  “Thank you,” Asha murmured, not looking at Peri as she followed Jack from the unit.

  Later that afternoon, Asha was in the study trying to work on Vivienne’s book, waiting for her Internet server to come back online, when Rosemary knocked on the open door. She welcomed the diversion, as she couldn’t seem to prevent her thoughts from returning to Peri, the feel of her, her kisses.

  “Am I interrupting?”

  “Not at all,” Asha said and Rosemary came in and sat down. “I thought it would be your mother. She often spends some time with me in the afternoons.”

  “Mother’s having a rest. She’s so pleased you’re doing the family history, Asha.”

  “I’m enjoying it, too, especially since I found the journals,” Asha said with a smile. “That’s a researcher’s dream come true.”

  Rosemary laughed softly. “I imagine it is.” She picked up the glass paperweight Peri always seemed to find so fascinating. “The Chaseleys are an interesting family I guess.
”

  “You certainly are. And reading Georgie’s journals shows how resolute and hardy the brothers were. Living in the colonies can’t have been easy.”

  “No. I suppose not.” Rosemary twisted the paperweight in her fingers, then she replaced it carefully on the desk. “You really do enjoy researching, don’t you?”

  “Of course. I love it,” Asha said sincerely.

  Rosemary remained silent and glanced almost nervously around the study.

  Asha felt a stab of disquiet. “Is something wrong, Rosemary?”

  “No. No, not really. Not with you,” she said quickly and sighed. “The problem’s mine. I just—” She shrugged. “I needed to talk to you about something. In private.” She stood up. “Do you mind if I close the door?”

  Asha shook her head, and Rosemary returned to her seat. “What did you want to talk about?” Asha asked, perplexed.

  “Did my mother tell you it was my idea for you to do this family history for my brother?”

  “Yes. She told me.”

  Rosemary nodded. “When Mother brought Betty Peterson’s book home to show me and I saw your name, I recognized it straight away. It was an amazing coincidence.”

  “But, I don’t understand. You mean you knew of me because of my father?”

  Rosemary smiled crookedly. “No. I’m afraid I’m not a cricket fan. But I did know his name. And yours.”

  Asha watched her as she picked up the paperweight again and then put it down. “You saw photographs of us in the newspapers?”

  “Not exactly. But I … we knew your stepmother. A long time ago.”

  Asha felt herself flush. Her stepmother had impressed on her not to mention her name to the Chaseleys, but it seemed the Chaseleys had known all along.

  “Did she? Has your stepmother told you she used to work here?”

  Asha looked at the mountain scene on her screensaver. “Mum only found out where I was working a few days ago,” Asha said carefully.

  Rosemary nodded. “How did she feel about that?”

  “She wasn’t convinced I should be here.”

  “I could see how she mightn’t.”

  If the Chaseleys knew she was Laura’s stepdaughter, why would they want her working in their home? Asha was disconcerted. “Then what you’re trying to tell me is that it wasn’t a coincidence I got this job?” Asha asked.