by Marnie Cate
I shrugged off her arm. I didn't care about these people. I couldn't help them. My son could be my only concern.
“Laura, could you please examine the girl and confirm she is well enough for me to take her to the pits. Be quick,” Livia commanded, “She is expected soon.”
Laura examined me. I felt uncomfortable in the center of a room full of woman with no privacy. Still, there was nothing I could do about it, and it wasn't the worst part of my stay here.
When she finished, she patted my knee, “You will heal quickly. You are doing very well for a woman who just had a baby.”
A young girl walked towards us carrying a small bundle. “Miss Laura, this one belonged to Violet. She won't feed, and I have not found a successful replacement.”
Laura's eyes meet mine. “You have an abundance of milk.”
“I am not an animal. You want me to nurse one of these children?” I scoffed.
“Your child is being fed well. Have a heart. If you won't think of this baby girl's life, think of how it will ease your discomfort,” Livia said, handing me the baby.
“This is ridiculous,” I said.
As my further words of disdain formed, something inside me told me to do this for my son. In the violating manner I was beginning to associate as my new normal, Livia unbuttoned my gown and placed the child against my breast. After seconds of grunting and rubbing, the small baby latched on, and began to greedily feed from me.
“My son was born yesterday. I'll never hold him in my arms like I am holding you,” I whispered to the small child. A ripple of magic ran through me and to her. “Greedy, little thing,” I laughed. “Go on, take it all.” Turning towards Livia, I asked, “What do I call her?”
“She has no name. They are named by the Goddess,” she explained.
“They said her mother was named Violet? I'll call her Lily,” I said.
“You mustn't,” Laura said. “Only the Goddess decides who deserves a name.”
The door burst open and Jameson stepped into the room. The women closest to him cowered and bowed their heads. He did not notice me. The man I thought of as kind and good was terrifying. I did not know this person.
His eyes scanned the women, and he pointed at one who was cleaning the floor. “Get up. You're well enough to go.”
“But, I…” she stammered.
Slap.
She rocked on her feet, but then bowed. “Forgive me. I will do as you wish.”
I gasped loudly. His head turned to see who had dared to make a sound. Our eyes met and his cold look faltered for a nanosecond.
“What are you holding?” He marched to me, and scowled when he realized what I was doing. “Get that off her.”
When Laura put her hands onto Lily, I narrowed my eyes and said, “The child is feeding. I will hand her over when she is through.”
The women looked at Jameson in anticipation of his next move. He moved towards me, and Livia stepped in.
“She is through feeding. Thank you for your generous gift to the Goddess,” she said, picking up Lily and patting her gently. She, then, handed her to one of the women and turned to Jameson. “Thank you for your patience. We are ready to go now.”
His jaw clenched, and he growled at me “Cover yourself and stand up.”
When I didn't submit, he gripped me by my upper arm and forced me to stand. “You will learn respect,” he said, dragging me. Pointing at one of the guards, he said, “This one is going to see what happens to those who disobey. Take the others to the circle now.”
I struggled against his hold. I didn't know what he was going to do to me. His pace quickened, and he led me down a long tunnel. We passed rooms with blankets covering the doors. He tore open one of the mock doors to find a couple sleeping on a pile of rags.
“Get up!” he screamed. “You are expected at the Pit now.”
Without hesitation, they scrambled to their feet and out the doorway. When the sound of their footpaths ended, he turned to me. The frightening guard was gone. My Jameson was in front of me.
“Why were you feeding a stranger's baby? Did they force you?” he asked, sweeping my hair away from my face. “I'll kill that old hag if she did.”
“No,” I said, moving away from him. “It was my choice.”
He came towards me, and I backed away. “Why are you pushing me away?” he asked softly.
“You are not the man I thought you were,” I said. “You are cruel and horrible.”
He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. “It is survival. If it is not me, she will have someone else down here. She demands their fear. It is the only way to satiate her need. My cruelty is only a way to save them from her wrath.”
He blinked away tears, and stepped towards me again. This time, I did not try to push him away. I let him take my hand and kiss it.
“I hate what she has done to us,” I said.
“One day, she will name me the Shah, and we will live free,” he promised. Releasing my hand, he straightened up. “But today is not the day. Today, you must obey me, and appear to be afraid.”
“I don't have to pretend, Jameson,” I answered honestly. “I am afraid.”
He flinched as if my words hurt him more than any physical pain I could have inflicted. How sad that even seeing the injury my words caused, I didn't regret saying them. Seeing him wounded, strangely comforted me. I couldn't be the only one in agony. Sighing, he took me by my upper arm again and began to drag me towards the sound of crying.
* * *
Jameson brought me into a circular room lined with stone benches. It was filled with the Vetur. In the middle, there was an open pit about ten feet down. It was scattered with skeletons, some of which I recognized as the remains of animals, but possibly it was human remains or strange rock formations.
A loud dragging sound echoed throughout the room.
Jameson shoved me onto a seat, forcing two women to quickly make room. “Sit here,” he growled, and walked away from me.
The disturbing noise grew louder. The emotion in the room grew in intensity, so much so that they became a tangible force. These people were terrified. I looked around, trying to figure out why. Then, they appeared. Four dorcha spiders entered the ring. They were smaller than the mother spider I had seen on my first visit to Snowstrum, but just as intimidating.
“What are we doing here?” I asked the woman next to me.
“Shhh, don't speak. They won't hurt you if you sit quietly,” she whispered, and then looked around, waiting for some to reprimand her for speaking.
The woman on the other side of me leaned in closer. “Remember all of the horrible things that have happened to you. If you are scared of being fed to the spiders, it will go faster. The sooner they feed, the sooner we can leave. Hopefully, no one is tossed in to speed it up.”
Suddenly, the woman was yanked out of the seat next to me. “You don't seem willing to pay homage to the Goddess today, Malise,” the guard said.
“Wait,” I said, standing up. “She was just helping me understand what I should do.”
The guard looked me over, and grinned. “You want to take her place, princess?”
“No, she is innocent, Triste. Leave her be,” Malise pleaded, stepping between us.
The guard shoved her down on the ground and kicked her. I lunged at him and tried to pull him from her. Malise stopped moving, and he turned his attention to me. Picking me up, he dragged me towards the wall overlooking the pit. With a fistful of my hair, he lifted me up and held me over the opening. The cries from the crowd ranged from fear to excitement as I dangled above the spiders.
“Throw her to the spideys. They like the taste of human,” a man called from the crowd. A mixture of screams and cheers responded to his taunt.
Triste ignored the audience and glared down at me. “Are you going to behave, princess?” he asked in a snarl.
“Let me go,” I screamed.
“As you wish, princess,” he said.
And with those words,
he dropped me into the pit with the hungry dorcha spiders preparing to feed.
* * *
To my surprise, the floor of the pit was soft and squishy. While trying to push myself up, my hand sunk into a green gooey substance. Repulsed, I scrambled to my feet and backed up to the slick, stone wall. I cried out in anguish. There was no way for me to climb it. Searching the area for anything to help boost me out, I spotted a pile of bones on the other end the arena. If I reached it before the dorcha noticed me, I might have a chance.
I crept around the circle, growing closer to my target. When I was only fifty feet away, a large piece of meat landed in front of me. Triste laughed manically. He was luring the dorcha to me.
Soon, the spiders began skittering across the dirt floor in my direction. There was no need to be careful anymore, they had seen me. Lifting the skirt of my nightgown, I began to run. My escape was blocked when one of the dorcha jumped in front of me. Its silver eyes glowed, and it began to growl.
“What is this?” Jameson yelled from above.
Triste puffed up proudly. “She wanted me to let go. So, I did.”
Jameson picked the man up and held him over his head. Without pause, he threw Triste into the pit. The guard was not lucky enough to land on the sticky waste of the dorcha. Triste landed on a splintered bone, impaling his leg. His screams, and the rich scent of blood, distracted the spider before me. I held my breath as it brushed against me on its way to join the others as they attacked the guard. The sound of his painful cries and crunching bones rang throughout the arena.
Jameson was no longer above me anymore. Realizing the dorcha would soon be done feeding, I continued my escape plan. Scrambling to the pile of bones, I began to climb. I tried to keep my balance as I realized the pile was not high enough for me to reach the ledge above. My plan failed, and I screamed in frustration.
“My children, my dorcha have been nourished, and your gift has delighted me,” the Goddess' voice rang through the pit. The dorcha rushed to her. She ran her fingers over the coat of each as they retreated into an open hole in the wall, which promptly sealed behind them, locking them inside.
Snowystra stepped out into the middle of the ring. “My children, your generosity has once again amazed me. You have given birth to strong warriors. The burden they are on each of you will be removed when I allow them to live in my opulent home. Alas, there will be a delay in my accepting new children for a short time.”
The crowd gasped.
As the low roar of their conversation began, Snowystra frowned, and held up her hand. “Silence. Do not worry. You will be greatly compensated for this inconvenience. I have made plans for the tunnels to be extended, and more private rooms will be created for those who have pleased me the most. Why would I delay the important transfer? It is because the future Shah, the future leader of Snowstrum, has arrived.” Snowystra waved her arms in the air dramatically, calling a small blizzard.
The snowflakes began to clear, and she stood holding Cedric above. “I present you with Sebastian. My son. Your future leader.”
The crowd began to clap and cheer at my son. I slipped off the bone pile and began to walk towards her. Our eyes met, and she gave me a cruel smile as she lowered Cedric into her arms and gently kissed him on the cheek. Snowystra whispered something to one of the guards, and soon, I found I was being roughly escorted away from my son.
“Where are you taking me?” I asked.
“You do not speak,” the guard growled, “unless you want another drop in the pit.”
My mind raced. Where were they taking me? The tunnels made no sense. Everything looked the same. Was I going back to the infirmary? We seemed to be going the wrong way. The guards stopped at the dead end. I searched for an escape, but there was nowhere to go.
The guard grabbed me roughly by the arm. I screamed, and fought against him. He yanked me up, and then threw me at the wall. I screamed in terror as I sailed through the air. Memories flashed through my mind, and I relived the horror of Roger being thrown to his death.
I had expected to be bashed against the wall, but instead of my bones crunching against the stone, I went flying through. I was in the air for seconds before my freefall ended. I landed on a snowbank in the middle of nowhere. I was surrounded with nothing but snow as far as I could see. I had no hope of escaping death now. The cold would easily overtake me.
As if confirming my thought, heavy snow began to fall, blanketing me in white. Cold and shivering, I began to cry. My tears froze to my cheeks, and I blinked away the frost forming on my eyelashes.
“Don't cry, Blanche,” Jameson said as he picked me up. “I'm here.”
The blizzard intensified. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and held on tight to him. He ran through the forest as if we were flying. I closed my eyes, hoping the wave of overwhelming emotions would pass. He had come for me. He had saved me. Me, but not my son – our son. Our son was not safe.
When a warm wind began to blow on us, we stopped moving. Jameson sat me down on a hard surface that I guessed was a chair. I refused to open my eyes. I didn't want to be in the tunnels anymore. I did not want to live surrounded by sadness and desperate people. I wanted to close my eyes, and never wake up again. Snowystra had taken everything from me.
“Open your eyes,” Jameson softly requested.
“No,” I replied, shaking my head. “No, I can't do this anymore.”
“Blanche, you are safe,” my mother said.
I opened my eyes to see my beautiful mother, now a withered shell of who she had been. Her auburn hair was filled with streaks of grey and she had no make-up on. Her dress hung on her as if she had lost a lot of weight, making her look fragile.
“How long have I been gone?”
“A month,” my mother said. “Twenty-eight days and three hours.” She stumbled a bit and Jameson steadied her.
“Come sit with her, Camille. She is home,” Jameson said. The kind man I loved was here. The cruel tormentor of Snowstrum was gone. “Snowystra has released Blanche.”
“For how long?” I asked dryly. “Until she finds me another husband and takes away another child?”
“What have I done to you?” she cried.
The defeat I saw in my mother's eyes did something to me. My anger built. I was not a toy for Snowystra to play with. I was a Drygen. I had lost a month of my life. My son. I would not sit back and let her take everything I loved until I ended up an old woman crying on my daughter's bed.
“My son will be coming home,” I said, standing up.
“How do you know this?” my mother asked.
“Go to your room, Mother. I will join you after I shower. Tell no one I had the baby. As far as they know, I am still pregnant. We have never shared how far along I was so it will be easy to keep this a secret.”
“But —” she said weakly.
“No, there is no `but'. Cedric will be home. I will bring my son home. Jameson take her to her room,” I said, storming away from her.
I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror. The woman I saw disgusted me. Weak. You are too weak to save anyone. If you just disappeared, everyone would be better off.
“You are right,” I said to my reflection. Reaching into one of the drawers, I pulled out a large pair of scissors. The blades glinted giving me my answer. “The weak girl will die tonight.”
Holding up the scissors, I killed the feeble child I had become.
Chapter 19
The fighter I would now be was born in that one moment. I would face Snowystra in the same vindictive way she approached me. This was business now. Disregarding the pile of hair I left in the sink, I sought out my mother.
By the time I entered my mother's bathroom, she was sitting with a cover on her head, and Sophia was cleaning up the mess from the hair dye. My mother turned to greet me. The smile on her face turned to a look of horror.
“What have you done?” my mother cried. “Your beautiful hair is gone.”
“It was time for a change.”
I stood before the mirror and tucked back the stray piece of my dark locks that had dared to leave its place. “That is better.”
“You look beautiful, Miss Blanche,” Sophia praised. “You hardly even look pregnant. What is your secret?”
“There is no reason to let yourself go because of a child,” I said, narrowing my eyes at the maid.
“Of course, you are right, Mrs. Kingston.” The maid averted her eyes, and fidgeted with my mother's hair. “Mrs. Drygen, I think it is time to rinse.”
“I will help my mother.” I took the comb from Sophia and gave her a dismissive look. “Tell the chef I would like a full lunch served today. It is time the Drygen Estate returned to its former glory. I, especially, like the raspberry vinaigrette he makes. Tell him I insist it be on the menu.”
Surprise filled Sophia's face, but she quickly nodded her understanding. She rushed out the door, and then stopped. For the briefest moment, my maid looked at me again in awe.
“Go on now. I am very hungry. I am eating for two, you know,” I ordered, throwing back my head and laughing.
My mother's eyes stared at me in surprise. When we were alone, she took my hand. “Blanche, you know –”
“Yes, I know I am not eating for two, but it is all about keeping appearances, remember?” When my son is returned, I shall be secluded for several days, and then my beautiful baby boy will be presented to the world."
As I washed the dye out of her hair, images of the guard being attacked by the dorcha flashed in my mind. Memories consumed me, sending a shiver through my body.
“Snowstrum is a horrible place. Have you been there?”
My mother silently nodded. The look on her face told me she had been there.
“You didn't think you should warn me where I would be delivering my son? Did you see how Snowystra kept the Vetur in a tunnel system underground? Did you see the dorcha? Every day, she forces them to sit in a big room around a pit of spiders. They sit there, not knowing who might be thrown into the arena, who may be next to be eaten.”