Releasing Chaos

by Lexi Ander

  We unwrapped his swaddling of scale silk carefully. Each layer removed revealed the terrible damage caused by the torture Theo had endured before he died. The wounds had healed to form thick angry marks. The single scar on my face, resulting in the loss of my eye, wasn't nearly as devastating as the ones twisting Theo's once handsome visage into a mask that spoke of torment and pain.

  In order for Tiamat to return us to the present, there had needed to be a tradeoff. So she couldn't give me back the eye or the missing fingers on my left hand that I lost while trying to free the God Mithra. Instead, I returned with the dragon's eye and two scaly fingers tipped with dragon claws. Although I had never considered myself particularly vain, once I laid eyes on the disfigurement, I'd imagined everyone would look upon me with horror. Even after all these weeks, with many telling me to be proud of the scars I carried, I still struggled with my self-image. Only recently did I dare to leave my bedroom without a glove to cover my hand or a patch to hide my eye, though today wasn't one of those days. How Theo would react to his own scarring, I could only guess.

  "He didn't die peacefully," Brian commented once we'd removed the covering. Theo's golden blond hair fell in long curly waves to his shoulders. He hadn't been fond of long hair, but I had a feeling he wouldn't be cutting his anytime soon. The largest healed wound bisected his face from the outer corner of his right eye, across his nose where the cartilage had shattered and healed crookedly, to the lobe of his left ear. There were other shorter gouges across his forehead, disappearing into the hairline. A tear divided both of his lips, the ragged line splintering under his bottom one giving the appearance of a nasty bite.

  The air whooshed out of me in renewed horror. While I'd been in Stasis, Tiamat had allowed me to see him before he gave his vow and received healing. From that meeting, I'd known the damage was terrible, the atrocity he'd endured was clearly written on his skin. "Damn Theo, what did they do to you?" I whispered, knowing he couldn't answer me. Did I really want to find out?

  Brian threw an arm around my shoulders, and I took the offered comfort, burying my nose in his chest. I squeezed my eyes shut against the gruesome imagining of Theo's final hours. Drawing in a steadying breath, I pushed the depressing images away. I could empathize with Theo, but I refused to pity him. He needed someone who wouldn't treat him like a monster, looking past the mutilation to the man underneath.

  "Are you all right?" Brian brushed a knuckle over my cheek, under my eyepatch. I gave him a reassuring smile, stilling when he fingered the straps holding the patch in place. "The more you wear this, the more I hate it. Can I?"

  Nodding hesitantly, I allowed Brian to remove the covering and blinked several times as my sight adjusted to the bright light. The new left eye was a replica of Tiamat's sea-green ones, allowing me to see heat signatures. The inner iris of my right eye was the brown I'd been born with. When I claimed Ushna and Brian, the two outer rings appeared, one was Ushna's green and the other Brian's blue.

  "Do you think Ushna or I can blend in with the humans?" Brian rubbed the pad of his thumb over my brow. "Won't our unusual tri-ring eyes single us out in a crowd?"

  This argument had been going on since I returned. Like I said, I was unexpectedly vain. Or maybe self-conscious was a better explanation for the sudden shyness that overcame me when others stared. "Our people—"

  "They won't care."

  But I did, and perhaps I shouldn't. My pride was something I'd have to work on.

  Ushna's little green-and-yellow dragonet, Ladon, skittered into the room, his potbelly swaying from side to side as he scampered to us. Ladon communicated using his front fingerlike paws, but only Ushna understood the sign language mixed with the chirping. Many thought Ladon was Ushna's pampered pet, which Ladon encouraged with his unabashed begging when food was brought around. But Brian and I knew differently. The dragonet was sentient, highly intelligent, and too crafty for his own good. Like now when he showed care and forethought by bringing damp cloths clamped in his mouth.

  Shelving the disagreement, Brian and I wiped Theo down as I told Brian what little I knew of Theo's death. "Inanna tortured him. Theo discovered his chosen mate, Daniel, was… actually, I'm not sure. Whatever Theo suspected scared him into ensuring I had guardianship of his children. He photographed the people Daniel associated with and left the pictures for me in a safe deposit box. Upon investigation, we discovered they were a part of the Servants of the Glorious One, the group we told you about, assassins who wanted to end the Lycan royal line." Ladon sniffed Theo's hair curiously.

  "When Ushna and I were enforcers, we hunted a serial killer by the name of Craig Stoiler. He was supposed to have been put to death, but the elder in charge of The Detention Center defied the decree. He suspected Craig was a member of the assassins, and kept Craig alive for questioning. Somehow, Theo discovered the people Craig murdered resembled me, and he finagled his way into seeing Craig. It wasn't until much later we exposed Craig as Inanna's avatar. I'm pretty sure Theo was close to uncovering Inanna and Daniel's plot. Either she or Craig tortured Theo to death before members of Tribe Uras broke Craig out of the Detention Center. They came to the ranch to kill me—not that they succeeded, obviously."

  Brian pulled the soft blanket up to Theo's chest. "Poor bastard. What happens with him now?"

  "Becoming a child of Tiamat, she made him anew, giving him a creature whose main purpose is to heal. There is a price though."

  I frowned, recalling the conversation with Theo and Tiamat before I was reborn. He'd accepted her terms without hesitation. The cost was high.

  "Isn't there always?" Brian moved to my side, rubbing his palm over my back as if he sensed my unease.

  "Deep healings will eat his memories, eventually wiping everything away until Theo forgets who he used to be and what he did in all his incarnations." I crossed the room to the window, overlooking the three stone circles bordering the lapis lazuli-tiled pool.

  The center of two of the three circles had dark, freshly turned soil. One was where I'd been reborn, the ground expelling and pushing me to the surface. I retained no recollection of the incident because I'd been lost in the dreams—the memories of all the lives I'd lived. The other was where Brian had been reborn.

  Now, I stared at the third ring of stones, the ground covered in lush green grass and, as of yet, unblemished. There, Ushna would surface, and all Brian and I could do was wait.

  Brian joined me at the window, looping his arms around my waist, encouraging me to rest against him. "Why would he give up his memories? That's insane."

  "Imagine remembering your entire existence warped by Inanna's touch. What I didn't realize when bonded to Theo as his Twin Flame was that he never really liked himself. The two of us didn't balance each other as we should have. With each incarnation, I had you and Ushna, but Theo… he had no one. He spent so many lives being manipulated, pushed around like a pawn, and never regarded as a person. Even I left him to Daniel's machinations, in the end."

  Brian's arm tightened. "Stop that. How were you supposed to know?"

  "Yeah, I know, but looking back with the knowledge I have now, I feel guilty for not asking more questions. I assumed so many things and—"

  "Please stop, my prince." When I glance to the bed, Theo leaned up on an elbow, scrubbing his palm over his face. He dropped his hand to look at me with sad, solemn blue eyes. "You carry no burden for my choices. I'm just grateful you encouraged Tiamat to give me a second chance."

  Theo rose, pulling the scale silk around his waist, concealing his nudity before bowing on bended knee. I crossed quickly to him. "Don't kneel to me."

  "No, this is as it should always have been between us. You are my prince, my future king. Brian and Ushna will be King Consorts. I will always kneel before you in respect." He looked up at me, his eyes partially shrouded by a curtain of curly blond hair, hope shining through. "Besides, you had enough compassion to allow me to atone, Xenres Tristan." Theo returned his gaze to the floor. "I agreed to the beast T
iamat chose because I'm not proud of who I used to be. I would rather forget than remember the hundreds of incarnations I acted like an ass. Tiamat removed from me all ties to Inanna so the Goddess will no longer be able to use me as a pawn."

  "But what about your wolf, your children?" Brian queried, not cruelly, but with a curiosity that said he was trying to understand Theo's decision to leave behind his animal and all sense of his former identity.

  "My wolf is still with me, only his form has been changed into a bird of healing. As for my children, I love them with every fiber of my being, but I'm not worthy of them. They have the three of you to raise, love, and care for them. That I will see them from time to time as they grow, know they are happy, is enough."

  I clasped the back of his neck, my heart aching for him. Theo didn't have to give up everything. "They love you."

  He continued to stare at the floor, his voice rough as if he choked on his words. "You should know by now that I'm no good for them, my prince. Please. After so many healings, there will come a day I won't remember them anyway. Don't introduce me back into their lives only for them to lose me all over again when my memory of them is eventually erased. They have hurt enough. I'd rather watch them from a distance as they live a life full of joy, than crush them on the day when I cannot recognize their faces. I beg of you; I can only bring them pain."

  Brian joined us, standing to my left. He reached out and rested his palm on Theo's bent head. "You can't mean that. What of your Twin Flame? Now that the false tie to Tristan has been removed, surely you will find the one meant for you."

  Theo finally glanced up, his blue eyes stormy wells of sorrow. Had he always carried such pain? Or was the anguish caused by something else altogether? Perhaps the memories of his incarnations triggered the emotion. "Tiamat muted the pull of the Twin Flame so my Bashert would learn to love me for who I will become, not deny me for who I once was. I pray he or she will accept me even though I may forget them after a healing. As for my children." He glanced away from Brian's probing gaze, his eyes going to the open window, his bottom lip trembling as he said, "Sometimes I believe the only good in me came from the slice of Tristan's soul left behind when our bond was severed." Theo glanced at me. "Can I, the terrible person I once was… probably still am, have anything good to give them that is strictly me and not remnants of you?"

  Before I responded or found the words to argue with him, Theo shifted into his new animal. The scale silk around his waist fluttered to the floor as he transformed into a large, brilliantly-feathered bird. In his human form, Theo's scars twisted his visage, making a mockery of the beauty he'd once been. But as the Firebird, his feathers gleaming orange, red, and gold, Theo was more breathtaking than he'd ever been before. When Theo stretched his neck and shook out his feathers, the plumage on his crest and tail was tipped with an iridescent blue that glimmered in the sunlight.

  He didn't want to talk any more, and I'd respect his wishes—in a minute. "Theo," I said, allowing a hint of warning to enter my voice, "just because you shifted doesn't mean I'll shut up. I have three children of my own, and I fully understand the overwhelming love you have for Justus, Neoma, and Dawn. I get it, I do. You want to protect them, even from yourself." Those dark bird eyes stared back at me. "They need you."

  In a flurry of wings and feathers, Theo launched himself in the air and flew to an overhead crossbeam of the vaulted ceiling. I refused to give up. There had to be a way for Theo to have a relationship with his children. He was a fool if he thought he could hide from them, but I'd give him some time before broaching the subject again. Perhaps by then, I could devise an argument he couldn't refute.

  Chapter Four

  Jynx Roth

  "Jynx, are you sure this is the correct location?" Nacht asked as he looked up and down the busy city street.

  I consulted the address Ace had given us before we boarded the flight to Chicago. No doubt about it, this was the headquarters of the True Bloods, where we were to meet with their king, Ignatius Cimarron. Perhaps I was too accustomed to the Lycan tribes and how our diverse history and culture was reflected in our architecture. Granted, I hadn't spent much time in the human metro areas, usually only passing through when needed. So perhaps they too had places that spoke of their history, their ancestry.

  As a Magi, I spent a great deal of time with others like myself, learning, practicing, and manipulating magic, even though I wasn't the strongest of my kind. My real power lay in the ability to tell when someone spoke the truth, but that didn't mean I was a slacker and ignored my other abilities to work the earth.

  "Unfortunately, yes." I glanced at Nacht Stone, one of the bond brothers making up our triad. To those who knew what to look for, Nacht's ebony skin proclaimed him to be one of the famed Shadow Movers. Before he, Devlin Nix, and I permanently linked ourselves together, I'd already adored them. I had never anticipated the simple love I felt for them would grow with each passing year. And today, I discovered something new. I raked my gaze down his muscular form tastefully garbed in a three-piece suit. Who knew I had a clothing fetish, because I didn't.

  Nacht glared at the door we stood in front of, his dark gaze suspicious. The pedestrians passing by on the sidewalk gave us a wide berth, probably because Nacht's scowl could scare away even the most stouthearted.

  We stood several blocks north of Chicago's downtown. On each side of the business were posh boutique restaurants with their menus posted to the inside of the window. The prices alone for the rather simple fair was enough to make me consider waiting until we returned home before eating.

  "You'd think that since the True Bloods are a type of prey, they would be located in the countryside. How do they even find a place to shift and run? It takes hours to get out of the populated areas of this godforsaken city." Nacht pulled at his starched white collar and I suppressed a smile.

  Prince Tristan had made sure we were appropriately attired before leaving the ranch to meet King Ignatius. Neither Nacht nor I wore formal clothing often, but I think he was more uncomfortable than me. Although, I had to admit he looked rather handsome in the grey and red pinstripe. His skin had a healthy glow, lending to the sophisticated and refined look, but when he glanced at me, his dark eyes promised that under the civilized exterior he was a dirty, dirty boy.

  Meeting my gaze, the heat in his eyes flared to life. "If you keep looking at me like that, I'll take you back to the hotel and fuck you through the mattress."

  Good lord. I wanted to accept his offer because I knew exactly how he'd take me. As bond brothers, Nacht and I had given up the pretense we were only friends. We pursued Devlin to complete our triad, and never once looked back with regret. We shared power, balanced each other, and over the years, the lust turned to a love I couldn't imagine living without. While others desired their Twin Flames, I only needed the two of them.

  "We can wait, save it for a celebratory dessert if we get through today without fucking it up. Prince Tristan needs this alliance."

  A couple of weeks ago, when we confronted the force from the Order of Anat that had attacked the Janick estate, Arms Master Corey Bahar defeated their leader, Colonel Mani Koma, while Prince Tristan chased Daniel Sullivan. Before Daniel disappeared again, he ordered the group of True Bloods to capture Prince Tristan. Among them were five men who sided against their brethren, keeping Tristan safe until reinforcements arrived. We later discovered they were brothers, the oldest the bastard son of the king of the True Bloods. Today, Nacht and I were to meet King Ignatius on Prince Tristan's behalf. With luck, we'd walk away with a treaty between the Lycans and the True Bloods.

  Nacht pulled at his collar, again. "If he isn't as dressed up as we are, tomorrow I'm coming in jeans and a t-shirt. I hate this tie."

  I checked over my navy suit to make sure I hadn't picked up smudges of dirt or anything suspicious from the taxi ride over. My orange-streaked black hair was pulled back into a high ponytail. I didn't hide my odd coloring because there was only so much I was willing to do
to impress someone. Perhaps I should have taken the ring out of my lip or the earrings from my ears, but I'd been particularly cranky upon waking and left them in. Now, I wasn't feeling so rebellious and wished I'd been more circumspect. I was representing my prince. But I'd been pissed that we needed to leave Devlin behind. The three of us didn't split up often, and when we did, I was known to become a bit of an asshole.

  "If we stand out here any longer we might as well grow roots. Come on." I opened the frosted glass door, gesturing for Nacht to enter first.

  The young, pristinely-dressed man behind the desk glanced up, smiling when the bell over the door rang. But once he scented us, his grin dropped, his expression becoming nervous. "How… How… how can I help you gentlemen?"

  "Magi Jynx Roth and Magi Nacht Stone here to see Ignatius Cimarron?" I smiled, not showing any teeth. The poor guy was already spooked from scenting the wolf on us. I would be horrified if he peed his pants.

  "Ye-yes, sir. If you'll take a seat over there while I contact Mr. Cimarron."

  Nacht snorted before he turned to consider the waiting area. How would Ignatius get around Inanna's spy? Ace had given us a few names and descriptions but… The young man behind the desk sprayed air freshener liberally around his desk area. What? We didn't stink. When he caught me staring, he blushed and shoved the canister under the desk.

  We didn't wait long, perhaps five minutes, before six men filed into the reception area, making a bee line to where Nacht and I sat. An uneasy feeling curled in my gut as they approached. They didn't smell like True Bloods or Lycans, but were just as large as our Lycan warriors.

  "Mr. Roth, Mr. Stone, I'm afraid I have to ask you to leave. We have called a car to take you back to your hotel and then to the airport. As a courtesy, I'm sending two of my men to ensure you reach your destination without incident."

  Dark suspicion rose within me. But what could I say? Were these people trying to protect us from harm, or were they the ones who would harm us? King Ignatius had set this meeting up. If he was sending us away, I wouldn't press the issue. Nacht and I didn't have backup. The sense that Nacht and I were in danger pressed upon me. Prince Tristan had sent us alone under the assumption King Ignatius would protect us in his territory. Not that we were helpless, as a Shadow Mover, Nacht could zip us to safety through a sliver of shade.