by L A Cotton
“I... Well, I was trying to help.”
“But why? We’re not friends... we’re not anything anymore.” Her eyes shuttered as she sucked in another sharp breath.
I hoped it hurt her to say the words because it fucking hurt listening to them.
“I just...” All the endorphins and adrenaline coursing through me drained away, replaced with frustration.
“I need to go,” she rushed out.
“At least let me walk you back to campus.”
“Actually, I’m not headed back to campus. I think I’m going to head down to the beach. I need some air. See you around, Zach.” Calli hurried away from me like I had the plague.
A giant fucking black hole carved through my stomach, as I watched her go…
Wondering if this was how it was always going to be between us now.
I had just got out the shower when there was a knock at the door.
“Just a second.” I secured a towel around my waist and went to check the peephole. “Hey,” I said opening the door to Victoria.
“Hi.” She smiled, her eyes instantly running down the length of my body.
“I’ll go put some clothes on.”
“Yes, please do.” It came out breathy, but I didn’t feel the usual sick sense of satisfaction I used to.
Since the fair, things were strained between us. Maybe even before then. I’d avoided her most of last week, and she’d been out of town at the weekend. But taking some space was probably a good thing. The guys had a point, we were getting too close. Victoria had started to overstep, and in a bid to get back at my parents, my brother, I’d fucking let her.
The second I joined her in the living room she locked eyes on me. “You’re avoiding me,” she got right to the point.
I let out an exasperated breath, really not wanting to do this.
“It’s her isn’t it? Calli or whatever she’s called.”
“You know what her name is, Vic,” I gritted out.
“Were you two—”
“Doesn’t matter if we were. We’re not now.” My chest tightened. “I had no idea she was coming here, just like she had no idea I was already here.”
“But—”
“No buts, Vic. Calli isn’t the issue here, we are. What are we doing? You’re my brother’s girl for fuck’s sake.” My fingers went into my hair, tugging the ends in frustration.
“We need each other.” Victoria inched closer, her big eyes staring up at me with hurt.
“Do we?” My eyes narrowed. “Or are we just using each other?”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Her claws came out. This was the version of Victoria Penderton most people got to see. Cold and vicious. Vic was your friend if she was your friend. But if she wasn’t, she didn’t hold back. She had a superiority complex and it showed.
“You said it yourself, you like being around me because it makes you feel closer to Declan. That’s messed up, Vic. Is that why you almost let me fuck you? So you could pretend it was him?”
I immediately regretted the words, but she was pushing too hard. And when an animal was backed into a corner, it usually attacked.
“That’s... I can’t believe you just said that.” An indignant huff escaped her lips.
“Look, I’m sorry. But this... us... I don’t think it’s a good idea we hang out anymore.”
Hurt flashed across her face but she quickly steeled her expression. “Did you grow a pussy overnight? This isn’t the Zachary Messiah I know.”
“Watch it, Vic.” A low growl rumbled in my chest.
“Or what? You only got to where you are right now because of him. The team, Coach Baxter, your parents... they all only wanted you here for Declan.” Her words cut me like tiny daggers. “You were no one. No one before they plucked you from San Diego and brought you here. So don’t stand there acting smug because when Declan wakes up, and he will... everyone will forget all about you. You might be the King of Steinbeck U right now, Zachary, but the crown you wear belongs to him. Don’t forget it.”
She spun around and stormed from my apartment, slamming the door behind her.
Fuck.
Her words rattled around my skull, sinking into every crack and insecurity I had. Before I knew it, I’d grabbed a glass off the counter and thrown it across the room. It crashed against the wall, shattering into a thousand pieces.
She was such a cruel bitch. She knew exactly how to hit me where it would hurt most, and I hated that more than anything. I hated that she saw me enough to know the truth.
Going over to the cabinet, almost ripping the door of its hinges, I grabbed a bottle of vodka and knocked down a couple of mouthfuls. Is that what people thought—that I was here because I wanted to be Declan? Because they thought I wanted to follow in his footsteps?
Who was I kidding? Of course that’s what they fucking thought. That or they really didn’t give a shit so long as I got the job done and led them all the way to the championship.
She was right, they didn’t want me. They wanted my name, my skill on the court. They wanted me because basketball was in my blood.
No matter how much I wished it wasn’t.
I woke confused. There was a kink in my neck and a fucking bass drum in my skull.
“What the—”
A loud knock at the door perforated the haze surrounding my thoughts.
“Just a minute.” Pulling myself up, I took in my apartment. I was on the couch, a bottle of vodka beside me.
Shit. I may have overdone it given the fact it had been three parts full and now it was empty.
The knocking continued, drilling through me. “Yeah, yeah, give me a second.” Testing the waters, I stood up. My stomach churned as I moved sluggishly across my apartment. I opened the door to be met with Brad’s concerned expression.
“You missed conditioning.”
“I was—”
“What the fuck is that smell?” He leaned in and gagged. “Jesus, how much did you drink?”
“Lower your fucking voice, my head is pounding.”
“I’m not surprised.” He clapped me on the shoulder before slipping around me and into my apartment. “So this is where the Messiah lives.”
“Did you want something, or did you just come here to torture me?”
“Coach Baxter stopped by the gym, saw you weren’t there and got concerned.”
“So he sent you.”
“Actually, he called you a bunch of times. But—”
“My cell is dead.” I vaguely remembered it powering off last night somewhere between the third and fourth glass of vodka.
“You should go brush your teeth or something.”
I flipped him off before padding into the bathroom. The motion along with the overpowering taste of mint made me want to puke, but I managed to keep my stomach contents on the inside. Teeth done, I quickly washed my face and hands, before going back into the living room.
“Want to talk about it?”
“What the fuck are you doing?” I snapped, watching Brad as he rooted around my refrigerator.
“You need one of my epic hangover cures. I call it hair of the egg.”
“I am not drinking that shit.” My brows furrowed as he began pulling out eggs and spinach.
“It’ll fix you right up.”
“You can make me an omelet instead.” Not that I could stomach food yet. “Was Coach pissed?”
“Not so much pissed as he was worried. You never miss a session. And given the way you and Callum went at each other the other night… Everyone is feeling the tension, man.”
“You heard what he said.”
“I did, and it sucks. But Callum is working through a lot of stuff right now. Would it really hurt to cut the guy some slack?” My eyes narrowed and Brad let out a heavy sigh. “Forget I said anything. So how did community service go?” He gave up his smoothie mission and grabbed a pan adding a little oil.
“I was joking about the omelet.”
“It’s not
for you.” A smirk played on his lips.
Cheeky motherfucker.
Grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator, I sat down at the breakfast counter. “It was surprising actually.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Calli was there.”
“No shit.” He gawked at me. “That’s some bad fucking luck, man.” I didn’t answer and he frowned. “Isn’t it?”
“I don’t know...”
“Wait a minute, you’re not seriously thinking about—”
“I’m not having this conversation with you.”
“She’s already got your head messed up. Don’t let her get under your skin any more than she already has, Messiah. It’s only asking for trouble.”
“Like you banging Josie isn’t?” My brow lifted and he gulped. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
“The difference is though, everyone’s not watching my every move.”
I flipped him off before running a hand down my face, muffling a groan. “Why did you come around again?”
“Because you need a friend, and I’m it.”
“Lucky for me.”
“Lucky for you indeed.” Brad grinned like a fool, beating the eggs in a dish and adding them to the pan.
“So what happened at the center?”
“There was this girl—”
“Ah, the start of every good story.”
“She was a kid, asshole. Real quiet little thing. She got buddied up with Calli.”
“I’m sensing that’s not a good thing?” His brow lifted.
“I got the impression she didn’t like Calli very much.”
“That’s hard to believe. She’s one of the most inoffensive people I’ve ever met.”
“Yeah. I think she was trying too hard, ya know?”
“Let me guess, the kid didn’t like Calli, but she took an instant shine to the Messiah.” Amusement twinkled in his eyes.
“Please stop calling me that.”
“If the cap fits...”
“Asshole.”
“Takes one to know one.”
“Your eggs are sticking.” I flicked my eyes to the pan.
“Fuck.” He spun around and started flipping his omelet. “Plate.”
“Top right,” I grumbled, the smell making my stomach churn.
“You want any?”
“No, I’m good.”
Brad found a fork and started digging in. “It’s good,” he said around a mouthful.
“So how is Josie? Ready to confess to Joel that you’re dicking her?”
“Dude!” He spluttered. “I’m eating.”
Laughter rumbled in my chest. I still felt hungover, but the water was helping a little.
“Seriously though, man. You want to talk about this shit with Callum and Calli, I’m your guy.”
“Good to know, but the answer is still no.”
What the fuck would I say anyway? I thought I hated Calli, part of me still did, but I also missed her. I missed her so fucking much. Being around her had always made breathing a little easier.
At first, I’d thought it was the thrill of the chase, of luring her into a game of cat and mouse. But I was beginning to realize it was just her.
Calli was the flame and like a moth drawn to the light, I couldn’t seem to stay away.
“Oh shit, you’ve got it bad.”
“Fuck off.”
Brad snickered. “It’s written all over your pretty face. This is a shitshow just waiting to happen. But maybe it’ll distract everyone from the fact I’m boning Joel’s sister.”
“Nice, man. Real nice. Maybe I’ll have a little chat with Josie and see what she thinks about your little arrangement.”
He shot upright. “Don’t you dare, Zach.”
“Or what?”
“Seriously, man. Don’t mess with me over this. Josie is—”
“Say it.”
His brows puckered. “Come on, don’t be an asshole.”
“Takes one to know one.” I threw his words back at him.
“I like her, okay. I like her a lot.”
“There,” I said around a smug smile, “that wasn’t so bad, was it?”
“It can never work though.” He let out a resigned sigh. “You know as well as I do that Joel will never...” He trailed off.
“Fuck what Joel thinks. It’s a stupid rule anyway.”
“Stupid because you want to get into Calli’s—”
I pinned him with a dark stare, and he threw up his hands in surrender.
“Joke, I’m joking.”
“You’re a fucking idiot.”
Silence settled over us. What a pair we were: him fooling around with Josie behind Joel’s back, me and Calli... doing whatever the fuck we were doing. Which was a lot of nothing at the minute given she was freezing me out. Maybe I needed to make a gesture, to extend an olive branch? But she didn’t seem to appreciate my direct and to the point approach, so I needed to think outside the box.
“Serious talk time.” Brad washed his omelet down with a carton of juice. “Are you feeling ready for the exhibition game?”
“The team’s ready.” We hadn’t played much together yet since official practice didn’t start until next weekend. But we’d been meeting and doing our own thing, working on plays and refining our flow.
“I didn’t ask if the team is ready, I asked if you were ready.” His brow lifted but I chose to ignore him. “It’s already a sell out,” he added. “Coach said we all get a couple of tickets for our families; not that I have anyone to invite.”
An idea sparked in my mind.
I’d need to speak to Freya first, but it could work.
“Oh no, what are you up to?” Brad whistled through his teeth.
“Me?” I smirked. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Calli
I avoided Zach around campus. Which wasn’t hard considering he was an athlete, and I was no one. Joel was still giving me the silent treatment, and Callum was nowhere to be seen.
So when my father called to invite me to the exhibition game, I almost laughed hysterically down the phone.
“You want me to what?”
“Calliope, must you be so...”
“So what, Dad?” I could hardly keep the venom from my words.
He let out a heavy sigh. “All this anger is no good for you.”
“I’m not—” I stopped myself. He didn’t get it. He hadn’t got it back when I was a kid, and he didn’t get it now. It was sad really, that the man responsible for half of my genetic makeup didn’t give a shit about me.
Sad, but true.
My heart cinched.
“I have two tickets,” his tone softened, “and I’d really like you to come with me. I’ve barely seen you since you arrived, and it’ll be nice for you to support your brother—”
“Are you kidding me?” I breathed, the weight of his words coiling around my heart like thorns. “Support him? You do realize that he hasn’t spoken two words to me since I arrived here? He didn’t even tell the team his sister was starting at SU. What kind of person does that?”
“Callum is hurting, Calli. He’s been through a lot...”
“You just don’t get it, do you?” A rush of tears overpowered me, and I fought to keep them in.
“Get what?”
“You abandoned me, Dad. You both just left me like I was nothing. I spent my entire childhood trying to get you to notice me. Do you have any idea what it feels like to be so... so invisible?” My chest heaved as the words spilled from my lips.
“Calli, I—”
“Let’s not do this, Dad. You didn’t care then and it’s crystal clear you don’t care now. I’ve got stuff to do. Goodbye.” Tears exploded from my eyes as I hung up.
God, he was so clueless. So blinded by Callum and his hopes and dreams and aspirations.
“Calli?”
I spun around to find Josie standing there. “I heard shouting,” she said, “and the door was unlocked s
o I...” Concern shone in her eyes.
“It’s fine.” Sniffling, I dried my eyes and took a shuddering breath.
“Your dad?”
“Yeah. He wanted to invite me to Callum’s exhibition as a peace offering.”
“He sounds like a clueless idiot.”
“Oh, he is.”
“Hey, want to get out of here? I’m sure Xavier won’t mind us hanging at the bar.”
“It’s a school night,” I said, eyeing the stack of course reading I had to get through.
“So? It’s college. You can skip morning classes or throw on some shades to hide your hangover eyes.” Josie gave me a warm smile and it settled something inside me.
I’d lucked out meeting her. Sure, the fact she was Joel’s sister was a slight issue, but I could be her friend and still avoid the team.
It was working out okay so far.
“What?” she asked.
“I’m really glad I met you, Josie.”
“The feeling is entirely mutual. Come on, I’m starving.”
Steel ‘n’ Thunder was quiet, but it wasn’t even six on a Wednesday evening.
“You two keep coming around here and I’m going to start thinking you ain’t just coming for the beer.” Xavier chuckled at his own joke as we slipped onto the stools at the bar.
“My girl needed to get out of her dorm room, and you do some of the best beer in town.”
“Damn right, we do.” He grinned proudly. “So whose face do I need to rearrange for hurting you, Calli?”
“I...”
“Relax.” Josie snickered. “He’s joking. Mostly.”
“Any guy who makes you cry isn’t worth your time, sweetheart.”
“What about fathers who make you cry?” I asked, managing a weak smile.
“Shit,” a dark expression crossed his face, “for real?” I nodded. “Then he definitely ain’t worth your time. Let me get you both a little something to drink. You hungry? I could have Munster rustle you up some food.”
I didn’t know who or what Munster was, but my stomach growled all the same. “I could eat some fries.”
“Calli, girl, we don’t just serve fries here, we serve the best damn fries you’ll ever eat.” Xavier winked before stalking off down the bar.