Squire Hayseed

by S E Zbasnik

  “Ah, ya only need to be worried if you’re a carrot or apple. Otherwise, it’s nothing more than a love bite,” Finn laughed. A silence trailed the echo of his chuckle, the two locked close together in the stable, their eyes inches apart. Hayley felt a burn start on her cheeks and move down to her neck. As if realizing he still held her, Finn opened his fingers and stepped back. He whipped his head away to get back to work but not before she spotted a red blush painted across his massive forehead.

  Hayley began to slide back out of the stall when she whipped her head around to find Trevor standing just at the right distance to reach out and nip her again. She glared at the horse, who wouldn’t look up at her face. It was too focused on chewing off all her clothes.

  Oh shit. No, not that. Not here. Not with…

  “Here ya go, Hayseed,” Finn said, a hand slapped to his hip as he tipped his head towards a saddled Gringolet. “All ready to head out for your knight.”

  “Th…thank you,” she stuttered, her heart throbbing in her chest, her legs telling her to run. There was no way she could have managed any of this without him.

  “No problem, I’d rather a horse be comfortable and do it myself than watch a greenhorn fumble around and get both hurt.” He wiped his hands off, sauntering away towards the back and the work he left off. Hayley let her hands drift towards the leather and metal circling the horse’s head like scaffolding. It shined a bit, a gold rosette pinned near its ears, but Gringolet didn’t react to any of it. His eye kept its focus on Hayley alone.

  Do you already hate me as much as your master eventually will?

  “Ya know,” Finn said, shaking Hayley away from the thought. “If you’re gonna be squiring, you need to learn how to do all that yourself.”

  “I know,” she said, already planning on getting far away before she had to get used to Copper, or Trevor, or the cold calculating glare of Gringolet.

  “Just,” Finn shrugged, “I could teach you how. Show you the steps a bit. If you’d like.”

  “That’s…” She was about to tell him it wasn’t necessary without adding that she’d be long gone soon enough, but the barn door opened. Gavin strode in, boiled leathers and a set of mail hiding away the soft tunic she met him in for the morning. He carried a bundle in his arms, all of it covered in a blanket as he glanced past Hayley towards his horse.

  “Ah, I see you’ve finished already, squire. Well done,” he praised her.

  “Actually it…” She jabbed a finger towards Finn but the stableboy seemed to have vanished.

  Her knight also drew a comforting hand up Gringolet’s snout, the horse folding towards him in recognition before Gavin began to place his bundle strategically upon the horse’s hindquarters. With an ease Hayley couldn’t imagine ever possessing, he slid up into the saddle. One hand picked up the reins softly, while the other extended towards Hayley.

  “Well squire, let us be off.”

  Oh god. He expected her to ride on that thing? Hayley sunk deeper into her neck, her eyes screaming at her to run. She hung uncertain what to do when from deep in the stable she heard a laugh followed by, “Hayseed.”

  Perched high in the saddle, his feet slack as they bounced into the horse’s side, Gavin shouted out, “Are you all right back there, Squire?”

  “Yeah,” Hayley huffed, doing her damnedest to keep pace. They’d made it out the gate and down part of the dirt path until he veered wildly off onto a trail the horse seemed to have memorized. Some of the trip required her leaping over downed logs and trying to avoid branches and burrs snapping at her heels. When it opened up onto a babbling brook with a handful of boulders prodding out of the ground, Hayley risked splashing her face before resuming the mad pace behind the man and beast.

  “If you’re tiring, you can ride with me,” Gavin said to her, before clearly leaning closer to shout to his horse, “Grigolet can handle a great load.”

  Trying to not take too much offense at his calling her a load, Hayley shook her head. She’d lasted about a beat of her eyelashes staring up at him when he tried to get her on the horse the first time. Some excuse about how she preferred walking tumbled out between gasps and eventually the man gave in. Hayley didn’t think it’d be too bad giving chase, she’d run laps across the entire city before, but this was torture. Stomping up through piles of unstable leaves, fending off the whips of twisted branches, and sometimes staring straight ahead into a horse’s rear end. She was regretting not asking for a blindfold and being tied to the saddle. If she passed out from the panic while trussed up on it, at least she wouldn’t have had to run these past however many miles.

  “Ser,” she gasped, trying to shake off the sweat burning on her brow. It splattered across the bent-over grass like shattered glass, distracting Hayley as she sucked in more air. She felt Gavin staring at her, the knight easily spinning his horse around as both faced her.

  “How much further?” she asked, wincing at the words. She feared the answer would be “Oh not much, just over a mountain. Shouldn’t be more than five hours. Clip clop and all that.”

  Gavin, thankfully, was not a clip-clop person. He eyed her up and bundled the reins around the saddle horn. Easily sliding off the horse, he landed upon the ground and said, “Here should be fine.”

  “Oh merciful god,” Hayley sputtered, tumbling to her knees. As they both suckered into the mud near the brook she felt a burning cramp rise up both her legs. It twisted her muscle around like braided rope, causing Hayley to flip to her side as she tried to rend away the pain.

  Above her, Gavin began to unload whatever he forced the horse to carry. Metal clearly clanked under the blanket, Hayley watching as a helmet slipped from his hands to thud on the ground. “Ser, what are we doing here?” she asked. This was the ass-end of nowhere, barely deer trails to a water source. If he wanted to lose her he’d already done it. No chance Hayley could find her way back now, not without a road.

  Gavin finished piling up the clanging metal, the helmet resting on top of it. He reached inside of the bundle and excised out a sword. In the sweltering sunlight, it didn’t so much glint as blah, the metal as flat as a rainy sky. He waved the pathetic thing around a bit before tossing it towards Hayley. Instinct took over and she lashed out fast to catch it. The weight was bad, she didn’t know exactly how, but it wobbled in her grip. Swords probably weren’t supposed to wobble.

  The bottom part, the holding bit, was worn down to nubs. Hayley only slotted it next to the pads of her hand for a moment before they began to complain.

  “We,” Gavin said, tugging out a spear and standing it up tall as if it carried his family banner, “are training. Eventually, you can perform these drills in the courtyard of the estate.”

  “Courtyard?” Hayley tried to conjure up anything like that in the pile of houses she wandered around between. “Oh, you mean the mud pit?”

  Gavin pursed his lips, “Lady Bernadine prefers courtyard.”

  Shrugging, Hayley swung the sword up over her shoulder. “Just, most courtyards I’ve seen tend to have a fountain or statue. At least a shrub.”

  The man sighed as if she was some curse chained to his soul. “Is this all you have to ask today? The proper nomenclature of courtyards?”

  “It just seemed…important. To label things right,” her words trailed off as she stared up at the sun. Summer’d been bandying about for a few weeks now, but it seemed to be in full on burn you all to a pile of dusty salt meat today.

  “We have yet to discuss your duties, what shall be expected of you in not only the coming days but weeks and months, yet that is what you concern yourself with.” He seemed to be unimpressed with her question. Probably because it struck back at his beloved Lady.

  Oh god, they weren’t…? She was old, like really really old. About to become dust old. Surely he wasn’t doing things with her. That’d be disgusting.

  Unaware of Hayley’s thoughts, Gavin stretched the pike over the back of his shoulders. He let his arms hang off it, but the pose pulled a lot o
f the muscles in his body into stark relief. Seeming to be unaware of it, he asked in a weary voice, “Is there nothing else on your mind?”

  Just how hard is your bicep that’s trying to rip apart leather and chainmail?

  “Yeah,” Hayley whipped her head fast, trying to dislodge that thought. Her eyes drifted down to her meager chest and she plucked at the middle, “How come everyone keeps knowing I’m your squire?”

  “You wear the livery of the Seven Serpents,” he explained.

  “No, not…not just that I’m a squire, that I’m yours specifically. Like they all got sent a magic message from a fairy or something.” It bugged her at the compound, not enough for Hayley to ask anyone as she just wanted out. But then Finn didn’t seem to bat an eye at her showing up either.

  Gavin dropped the spear off his shoulders and pointed towards the upper right of Hayley’s chest, “There, see that star? The one that’s slightly larger than the rest?”

  “Yeah,” she said, straining her head to spot the cross in gold.

  “That’s mine. Your livery is a precise duplicate of my crest. So everyone knows you are mine.”

  She shuddered from the cold mud seeped up her knees. Hayley scooped a protective hand around herself at the thought, rocking with the useless sword over her shoulder. Being owned wasn’t high on her list of things, especially if it meant she had to be on her best behavior. Shit, someone else’s best behavior because Hayley’s never involved curtsying.

  “Anyway,” Gavin distracted her from her dark thoughts, “given your lagging training I thought it best to jumpstart you on combat skills. You will be joining me often on the road, which is not always safe. I want you to be able to defend yourself at the least, protect yourself and others at best.”

  Hayley’s head bobbled, her neck feeling as thin as a soggy noodle. Protecting people seemed like a very high watermark. “Kay,” was all she spat out, shifting into her assumed fighting stance. This involved Hayley sliding both her legs far apart and jabbing her elbows to the side as if she wanted to impale someone behind her on them.

  Swinging the stick through the air, Gavin stepped in a circle as if to find his balance. “Given your…performance against the spear before, I thought to let you try again.”

  Okay. Hayley took a deep breath and stared long at the man. Last time she was unprepared. Because she was so much better prepared now. Her legs were cramping up, her hands sweaty, but at least death wasn’t on the line. Probably.

  Hopefully.

  Her opponent swung the spear back to line up with his shoulders, the arm dipping low. Larissa never did that, she was all poke, prod, trip. Maybe Hayley could do this. Summoning strength from deep inside her soul, Hayley twisted her right foot in the ground. She stepped off with the left, her right arm raising the sword high.

  Out of nowhere, the spear thwacked into her side, splattering her to the muddy ground. Her sword went flying into the grass, causing the horse to stomp its feet at such insolence. Shit. Hayley reached towards her ribs, fearing one might be cracked, but the blow was minimal. Enough to throw her off balance, but not cause any real damage.

  “Again,” Gavin commanded.

  She hadn’t even seen it coming. Just, one second he was standing there in his funny little pose and then…whack. She shut her eyes tight, her mind trying to play back what happened in the blink of an eye. He’d shifted, pulled his right knee in before spinning in place faster than a top and taking her down. That was something. Right? Something important.

  “Rise, squire,” he said, watching from above her.

  Hayley staggered off her hands, staring limply at the mud dug into her palm. So much for clean fingernails. Trying to wipe it off on her fancy livery, she staggered off her knees to her feet and plucked up the sword. It dipped from her soggy grip and Gavin raised his chin.

  “Hold tighter to your sword, Squire,” he ordered, the first real piece of combat advice she’d been told in the past two days.

  “Like this?” Hayley dug her fingers in, the knuckles popping. He looked about to sigh, or correct her when Hayley switched the sword’s position so she held it upside down. The blade pointed towards the muddied ground as she tipped her head, “Or is this better?”

  Gavin’s lips slammed shut and he stood up taller. “Do as you wish, but attack.”

  Nodding her head, Hayley glanced over at the knife hold she had on a sword. It was already straining on her shoulders and arm and looked completely out of place. Shrugging, she returned the sword so it fit tight inside of her palm, the finger-guarding part nestled against the top of her thumb. Seemed as good a position as any.

  Her knight tipped his head, the stick swinging back into the same starting position. Hayley took one step forward, her weapon raising back. This time her eyes whipped right down to his knee. When it twisted inward, she swung hard to the left. A clang echoed off the bubbling water, Hayley wanting to yelp in excitement. She blocked him!

  Which was when the staff swung full around in a circle and upended her at the ankles. Buckling hard, she landed flat on her ass, the dull sword plopping beside her. “Owe,” Hayley whispered, barely a breath getting through her lungs that were just flattened by ground + spine.

  “Are you injured?” Gavin asked. She could hear the spear swiping apart the air somewhere above her head, but Hayley was too busy blinking away tears to see it.

  “No,” she said, trying to twist to pick up her sword. “Ah shit!” she gasped, a hand launching to her back as she froze.

  “Squire…?”

  “I’m fine, I’m good.” She tried to walk away the bruise. What was one more to join the pile of others?

  “Very well,” Gavin said as Hayley rubbed at the mud dug into her backside. “Again.”

  He had to be shitting her. Whipping her head up at him, her jaw dropped as he once again got into the same starting position. As if there was another one. As if he had any reason to change it up, he was winning.

  “I’m no expert or nothing, but…”

  “No, you are not the expert,” Gavin interrupted, “Again.”

  “Again, again, like a terrible folk song, again and again,” Hayley growled to herself, not happy to be once again raising her sword. She felt his eyes dissecting her hold and she sighed. “Fine, how do I grip this thing?”

  “Not as if you are trying to strangle a goose,” Gavin said causing Hayley to roll her eyes. First, it was too loose, now she was trying to murder a goose. Make up his damn mind already! His instructions froze as he watched her resistance.

  “Like this?” she formed an okay sign, wrapping only her thumb and first finger around the holding part of the sword.

  Her knight chuckled a moment, “Add another finger to the grip and you are correct.”

  “Oh,” Hayley assumed she had to like tuck in her ring finger or do some other secret trick. Folding her first and second finger along with her thumb she tried whipping the dull blade through the air. It didn’t feel any better, but it had to be. Yeah, maybe this was the trick.

  “Attack me,” Gavin commanded.

  Okay, you can do this. First, he attacks from the right, block that. But then watch out for the wide swing. Maybe if she were to swing to block that too? It made as much sense as anything else.

  Taking a steadying breath, Hayley lunged towards him. In popped the right knee, around came the staff, clang went the sword. Hayley didn’t waste time celebrating, already swinging to the other side to send it skittering away. Her arm shrieked at how fast she tightened the muscle back. She could feel the heat of the stick nearly upon her side when the blade somehow magically bounded against it.

  Gavin was fast, but Hayley was faster.

  Smiling as the end of the staff went skittering into the air, Hayley’s eyes turned from her great save to watch as the knight spun his feet, planted one, and drove the end of the staff forward. It bounded deep into her gut, causing Hayley to gasp as she was yet again hurled off her feet into the mud.

  “Damn it!” s
he cursed, her hand protectively smothering over the wounded area while Gavin yanked his killer stick back and stood upon it like a feeble old man. “What’s the point of all this?” Hayley shrieked, the threat of tears rising in her eyes.

  “You are learning,” he said so damn smugly she wanted to smack him.

  “That you like hurling girls into the mud,” she spat. “You know, there’s probably a brothel that’ll let you do that for a few coins.”

  Her knight’s eyes narrowed tight at that remark, his knuckles popping nearly bone white as he gripped harder to the stick. Silence whipped through the glen while Hayley struggled to get a breath. She took a peek at her stomach below the livery to find a red welt where the staff struck. There was certain to be a bruise on it soon enough.

  “What is your complaint?” Gavin asked. Hayley whipped her head up, her jaw dropping. He looked mad at her as if she’d been the one smacking his ass around with a stick all day. To the side, she heard that damnable horse whinny too — like it was backing up its master.

  Sneering at the world, Hayley struggled to her feet, “That this isn’t fair. You have that…that stick, pike, whatever! I can’t even reach anywhere near you with this piddly thing!” She waved the sword around as if it was little more than a butter knife. It felt as useful as one to her.

  Her knight tipped his head to the side. “I see, you think you are losing due to the weapon instead of training.”

  “No.” Hayley knew when she was being led to the slaughter. But it was still incredibly unfair. Sword didn’t beat long pike thing, simple math. “Yes,” she said, her hands hanging at her sides, both clenched tight.

  “Then here,” Gavin yanked up the staff and hurled it towards Hayley. She barely caught it, holding the stick partly above her head. “You can use this instead.”

  “What about you?” she eyed back towards the mass of whatever he brought along, but it didn’t look like there was another staff inside.

  Bending over to the mud, her pristine knight picked up the filthy sword. He didn’t say a word, only stepped into position. “But…that’s not fair. I mean,” Hayley kept flapping her lips as if she needed to protect him. A flash of his biceps burned in her brain and she tried to shake off the blush-causing thought. “Stick beats sword.”