The Confident Woman: Start Today Living Boldly and Without Fear
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When trials and tribulations come, Satan will offer fear but God offers faith, courage and confidence. Which one are you receiving? The answer to this question may reveal the root of many frustrations.
The book of Job says that what we fear comes upon us (Job 3:25). That is a sobering thought. Satan offers fear, and if we take it and meditate on it and talk about it long enough we give it creative power.
Also, notice what else Jesus said in the above passage from John 16:33: He says “be confident.” Notice that He did not say, “feel confident.” As I have said repeatedly in this book, we can choose to be confident, even if we don’t feel confident at all. Start today choosing to be confident in every situation and you will begin driving fear back to Hades where it came from. When Satan tries to give you fear, give it back to him. You wouldn’t drink poison if someone offered it to you, would you? Then stop taking fear and start choosing courage.
Discouragement
When I think of discouragement, I think of an oppressive spirit, one that extinguishes courage and deprives us of the confidence God wants us to have. Discouragement is certainly not from God, so it must be another one of the devil’s offerings. God gives courage, the devil gives dis-courage. He may try to discourage us through repeated trials or aggravations. He tries to discourage us through people who tear us down instead of building us up. Negative people can discourage us.
Today I heard about a 42-year-old man with a family who went to the doctor with a backache and discovered he had cancer in several places in his body. His spirit remained “up” and he never lost courage until one doctor looked at him and said, “There is no hope.” What a stupid thing to say. Now, I realize that legally a doctor has to tell a patient the true facts, but she could have said it in a way that wasn’t quite so crude. Besides, there is always hope. There are no hopeless cases when a person has God on their side.
Don’t spend time with people who tear you down and give you the worst case scenario about everything. It is much easier to stand in a chair and have someone pull you down then for you to pull that person up to stand with you. We must constantly be on our guard against discouragement.
Encouragement
The Duke of Wellington, the British military leader who defeated Napoleon at Waterloo, was not an easy man to serve under. He was brilliant, demanding, and not one to shower his subordinates with compliments. Yet even Wellington realized that his methods left something to be desired. In his old age a young lady asked him what, if anything, he would do differently if he had his life to live over again. Wellington thought for a moment, and then replied. “I’d give more praise,” he said.1
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If a farmer plants tomato seeds, he will get a harvest of tomatoes. If we plant encouragement in the lives of other people, we will reap a harvest of encouragement in our own.
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All of us need encouragement. It is a tool that increases our confidence and inspires us to act with courage, spirit or strength. That is what we need! We don’t need anyone around to discourage us . . . instead we need “encouragers” in our life. The Bible instructs us to encourage and edify one another.
Therefore encourage [admonish, exhort] one another and edify [strengthen and build up] one another . . . (I Thessalonians 5:11)
Because we all encounter difficulty while we are running our race and trying to reach our goals, we all need encouragement. The more we get, the easier it is to stay on track and avoid wasting days or weeks in depression and despair. One of the best ways I know to get something I want or need is to give some of it away. God’s Word teaches us to sow and then we shall reap. If a farmer plants tomato seeds, he will get a harvest of tomatoes. If we plant encouragement in the lives of other people, we will reap a harvest of encouragement in our own.
What we make happen for someone else, God will make happen for us. Do you sometimes find yourself wishing you had more encouragement, maybe from your family, or your friends, or your boss? But how often do you encourage others? If you’re not sure, then make an extra effort right away. You can be the channel that God uses to keep someone confidently pressing toward success rather than giving up. Did you know that the Holy Spirit is called The Encourager? The Greek word parakletos is translated as the word Holy Spirit and includes comfort, edification and encouragement as part of its definition. Through the Holy Spirit, Jesus sent us a Comforter, a Helper, a Strengthener, an Edifier, and an Encourager and He sent Him to be in close fellowship with us. He lives inside of those who are believers in Jesus Christ, and you cannot get much closer than that. Let God encourage you through His Spirit. He will never tell you that you’re not going to make it. He will never tell you that your case is hopeless.
God corrects and chastises us when we need it, but He also encourages us along the way. This is how we should raise our children. As a matter of fact, Paul said in his letter to the Colossians that fathers were not to place undue and unnecessary chastisement on their children, lest it discourage them, make them feel inferior, frustrate them and break their spirits (Colossians 3:21). If God gives earthly fathers that instruction, then He certainly will be no different toward His children.
So please remember that when discouragement comes from any source, that it isn’t God sending it your way! Immediately reject it and if you have no other source of encouragement, then do what David did. The Bible says that he encouraged himself in the Lord. When you feel yourself starting to lose courage, talk to yourself! Tell yourself that you have made it through difficulties in the past and you will make it again. Remind yourself of past victories. Make a list of your blessings and read them out loud anytime you feel yourself starting to sink emotionally.
One of the ways you can encourage yourself is to read stories of uncommon courage. When you see what others have done, it encourages you that you can do whatever you need to do.
Uncommon Courage
We are inspired by people with uncommon courage. They help bring the best out of us. When we hear the stories of others, it inspires and encourages us to do the same. Here is a collection of stories we can gain insight from. I hope they minister to you as much as they ministered to me.
They All Voted to Die
In the days of war a Japanese policeman who had absolute power said that within three days everyone in a certain Formosan mountain village were required to come to the police station and swear against Christianity, or his hands and feet would be tied together, he would be weighed down with stones and thrown from the high bridge into the rushing river below.
The Christians met at midnight to decide what to do. Some said, “We’ll have to give it up. We can’t be Christians now. He will surely kill us.”
Then a young boy stood up. “But don’t you remember that Jesus said not to be afraid of those who can only kill the body, but to be afraid of those who kill body and soul? If he kills us, it will only be our bodies. Our souls will go to be with Jesus.” They all said, “That is true.” When the vote was taken, every hand was raised—all voted to die. The next day the policeman laughed cruelly, and said, “Tomorrow you die.”
Now the policeman liked to fish, and waded out into the river. A rock or tree in the current struck his leg and broke it. While the mountain people were praying, a messenger rushed in, and said, “The man who was to kill you tomorrow has been drowned in the river.”2
Was it a coincidence? I don’t think so. When the village people chose boldness over fear, their faith in God opened a door for His deliverance. It is just like God to drown the enemy in the same river he planned to drown them in. Satan’s plans backfire on him when we keep moving in faith and confidence.
Facing Down a Threat
A colonel of the Seventh Rhode Island Regiment, in the War Between the States, had become very unpopular with his men. The report reached him that in the next engagement his own regiment would look for opportunities to shoot him. When he heard that, he gave orders for the men to march out for the cleaning of their muskets; and taking po
sition on top of a bank of clay and facing the regiment, he gave the order “Ready! Aim! Fire!” Any man could have killed him without the slightest risk of discovery; but every soldier admired his superb courage, and whoever was disposed to kill him refrained.3
This colonel could have lived in tormenting fear that at any time one of his men might shoot him. Instead, he chose to confront the threat head on and once again we see that courage wins.
We should not be afraid of threats. Satan likes to intimidate people by threatening them with thoughts of bad things to come. If we face threats boldly, quite often the enemy backs down. Bullies can only bully those who won’t confront them. No matter what threatens us it can never separate us from the love of God.
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A great woman doesn’t allow fear to be her master. She courageously looks it in the face and faces it down with God by her side.
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If there’s anything that sticks with you after you put this book down, please remember this: Don’t live in fear of what may happen. Maybe you have heard of a threat of a layoff at work, or a stock market decline, or you may have gotten a bad report from the doctor. All these things can be subject to change. Without a moment’s notice God can change anything in our circumstances! Remain hopeful and don’t let fear rule. Confront fear and you will find it isn’t as powerful as you thought it was. Remember, courage is not the absence of fear, but action in the presence of it. There is no such thing as courage where fear is not present. A great woman doesn’t allow fear to be her master. She courageously looks it in the face and stares it down with God by her side.
Courage Despite Adversity
Paul Partridge lives in suburban Chicago. In a land mine in Vietnam in 1966, he lost both legs. He lived across the street from a woman who screamed one day at the top of her voice: “My baby! My baby!” Sensing there was something seriously wrong, this veteran and his wife left their house—he in his wheelchair, his wife running. After sixty bumpy yards, the wheelchair stopped. He dragged himself out of that wheelchair . . . and pulled himself sixty feet up steps to the deck around the swimming pool. There was a little girl. Her mother had pulled her from the pool where she had found her apparently dead . . . her little heart stopped. Partridge gave the child CPR and talked to her. “Little girl, you’re going to live. You’re going to make it. I know you’re going to make it.” Suddenly the child started breathing, and he screamed for medics to be called.4
That’s the nobility the Lord has planted in this dust we call flesh. That’s why He made us just a little lower than the angels, with the potential to risk our lives for other people—as this hero did for his country, and who with great anguish and agony dragged himself sixty feet up steps to save that little girl.
Partridge could have made a different choice when the woman screamed for help. He could have simply said, “I am a cripple, I can’t do anything to help her.” And had he said that, no one would think any less of him. In fact, most would agree with him. But he did the opposite because he is a man of uncommon courage. He inspires the rest of us to face our challenges without complaining and be less concerned about ourselves and more concerned about others.
Here is another similar story:
One summer morning, as Ray Blankenship prepared his breakfast, he gazed out the window and saw a small girl being swept along in the rain-flooded drainage ditch beside his Andover, Ohio, home. Blankenship knew that farther downstream, the ditch disappeared with a roar underneath a road and then emptied into the main culvert. Ray dashed out the door and raced along the ditch, trying to get ahead of the foundering child. Then he hurled himself into the deep, churning water. Blankenship surfaced and was able to grab the child’s arm. They tumbled end over end. Within three feet of the yawning culvert, Ray’s free hand felt something—possibly a rock—protruding from one bank. He clung desperately, but the tremendous force of the water tried to tear him and the child away. “If I can just hang on until help comes,” he thought. He did better than that. By the time the fire-department rescuers arrived, Blankenship had pulled the girl to safety. Both were treated for shock. On April 12, 1989, Ray Blankenship was awarded the Coast Guard’s Silver Lifesaving Medal. The award is fitting, for this selfless person was at even greater risk to himself than most people knew. Ray Blankenship can’t swim.5
If we were not so busy trying to avoid personal pain, fear could not dominate our lives. Perhaps we should once and for all put ourselves in God’s capable hands, telling Him that what happens to us is His concern, not ours. Our joy increases as we help other people, but we won’t reach out to others very much if we are fearful of what will happen to us.
Caring for Others
Barbara Makuch paid dearly for her willingness to aid Jews in Nazi-occupied Poland. She helped two Jewish people find protection in the boy’s boarding school where she was a teacher. One was a young Jewish boy who successfully passed himself off as a Christian Polish student. The second was a woman doctor who became the school cook. Although they lived on minimal means in a tiny apartment, Barbara and her mother accepted responsibility for a seven-year-old Jewish girl, left with them by the girl’s desperate mother. Fearing detection in such a small community, Barbara took the girl on a dangerous journey to Lvov where she placed her in the safe shelter of a convent school.
In Lvov, Barbara joined her sister Halina in her work for the underground organization, Zegota, set up to aid Polish Jews in hiding. On a Zegota courier mission Barbara was caught and subsequently imprisoned, first in a notorious jail, later at the Ravensbruck concentration camp in Germany. During her years in prison and camp, Barbara faced the harshest test of courage and endurance. Remarkably, she not only survived but even managed to help save the lives of fellow inmates.6
Just think of it. Barbara could have feared for own safety and done nothing. I am sure that millions did just that. But, she was a woman with uncommon courage. She risked her own life for other people and the result was that many lives were spared.
My Life Is a Prayer
Mary Khoury was seventeen years old when she and her family were forced to their knees in front of their home in Damour, Lebanon during the Lebanese Civil War (1975–1992).
The leader of the Muslim fanatics who raided their village waved his pistol carelessly before their faces. His hatred for Christians burned in his eyes. “If you do not become a Muslim,” he threatened, “you will be shot.”
Mary knew Jesus was given a similar choice. “Give up your plan to save sinners, or You will be crucified.” He chose the cross.
Mary’s choice was similar. “I was baptized as a Christian, and His word came to me: ‘Don’t deny your faith.’ I will obey Him. Go ahead and shoot.” The sound of a gun from behind her echoed in the valley and Mary’s body fell limply to the ground.
Two days later, the Red Cross came into her village. Of all her family, Mary was the only one still alive. But the bullet cut her spinal cord, leaving both her arms paralyzed. They were stretched out from her body and bent at the elbows, reminiscent of Jesus at His Crucifixion. She could do nothing with them.
“Everyone has a vocation,” she said. “I can never marry or do any physical work. So I will offer my life for Muslims, like the one who cut my father’s throat, cursed my mother and stabbed her, and then tried to kill me. My life will be a prayer for them.”7
It takes uncommon courage to be willing to die for what you believe in, but it also takes uncommon courage to be willing to forgive and pray for your persecutors. In our world today multitudes are offended, angry, bitter and resentful. If more people had the courage to forgive it would make our world a better place.
Taking a Stand
He came walking up the aisle on little fat, brown legs, with serious determination in his eyes. I stopped speaking and the congregation was quiet as death. “You asked me what I would have done if I had been in the crowd when Jesus fell under the weight of His cross.” He looked earnestly up at me. “Please, sir, I would have helped
carry it.” He was a Mexican lad eight years of age. His father was a miner and his mother was an outcast from decent society. I had been preaching on Simon of Cyrene; and when I asked the audience to determine in their own hearts their reaction to that scene, little Pedro moved toward me.
I lifted my arm and cried: “Yes, and if you had helped Him to carry His cross, the cruel Roman soldiers would have beaten down across your back with their whips until the blood ran down to your heels!” He never flinched. Meeting my look with one of cool courage, he gritted through clenched teeth: “I don’t care. I would have helped Him carry it just the same.”
Two weeks later, at the close of the service in the same building, I stood at the door, greeting people as they left. When Pedro came by, I patted him affectionately on the back. He shrank from me with a little cry. “Don’t do that, my back is sore.” I stood in astonishment. I had barely touched his shoulders. I took him into the cloak room and removed his shirt from his body. Crisscrossed from his neck to his waist were ugly, bloody welts. “Who did that?” I cried in anger. “Mother did it. She whipped me because I came to church.”8