Above Rubies (Rockland Ranch)

by Jaclyn Hawkes

  She got up and took her purse and wadded tissue, and saw herself out, while Kit sat on the couch wondering what had just happened.

  Rossen came in with a bowl of cold cereal and a silly grin. He sat beside her on the couch and crunched away happily. Kit smiled even as she sniffled. “You’re pretty pleased with yourself, aren’t you?”

  He nodded his head as he chewed. “Yes I am. Your personal salvation is a rather big deal to me. You should know that by now.” He continued to eat with gusto.

  She shook her head and laughed. “She said her husband turned and looked right at her. Poor woman.”

  Rossen chuckled. “Oh, I think she’s had it coming for years now. I knew who'd done it. I just didn’t know what she’d said.”

  “Did you really tell your whole ward I’m ready to be baptized?”

  “Yes. Aren’t you?” He was looking into her eyes.

  “Well, yeah. But you didn’t know that.”

  He gave her a wicked grin. “How do you know what I know?”

  She laughed and waved a tissue at him. “Oh, you’re easy! I can read you like a book.”

  “Really?” It was a serious question.

  She laughed again at his apprehension. “Yeah, really.”

  He considered this for a moment, watching her. He was probably wondering if she meant it. She did. He was actually a pretty easy read, all in all. She smiled at his look and he commented on it, “You haven’t smiled for days, you know.”

  She dropped her eyes. “Yeah, well. Beginning to know God and being part of a real family are rather extremely gargantuan blessings in my life. The thought of turning away was pretty bleak.”

  “Then you’re not mad?”

  She shook her head. “No one on earth could be mad at you, Rossen Rockland. You’re too dang nice a guy.”

  “Oh, good. I was kind of worried.”

  “But you did tell me it was a girl over this whole deal.”

  “I did? No way! When?”

  “The other day on our ride.”

  His face fell. “I did? Aw, I’m sorry. If I tried to tell you it was a boy again, could I mix you up?”

  She smiled quietly and shook her head, thinking of how she’d felt when he put his hand on her stomach. “It’d never work.”

  Chapter 9

  February came and went in what felt like seconds. Rossen took her in to have her cast redone again, and they sedated her and took the pins out. She finished her math and started on her second English credit and Rossen took her in to watch how the Raku process was done. He agreed it would be easy to set up at home and committed to start helping her do it the very next day. On the way home, he put her behind the wheel once they were off the paved highway and began to teach her to drive. She continued to gain weight and was beginning to feel truly big and ungraceful. At times it was a struggle to get out of a chair.

  The winter sun had begun to take its toll on the south faces and by the time March blew in, there were new colts in Ruger and Marti’s barn and slushy holes melted into the snow pack on the gravel roads.

  The herds of cattle began to calve in earnest and the family and the hands were kept busy twenty four seven. Every few days there would be a calf that either the mother would abandon or the cow wouldn’t make it, so there ended up being a pen full of calves that had to be bottle fed. It was a chore Kit could handle, and she finally felt like she was contributing to the ranch.

  With calving, Rossen cut back drastically on the hours they spent in his office doing engineering work. They were just waiting for the permits to be approved to begin test drilling for the new well.

  Naomi had flown to Tucson to see about getting Kit’s records and birth certificate and social security card. The day Kit turned eighteen, Naomi gave them to her like an award. All the college kids came home and they had a big birthday cake and ate ice cream and Kit cried. She'd never had a birthday party.

  One morning the next week, Rossen took her into Evanston to get her cast removed for good. Even though the muscles in her left arm were much smaller than her right and she had a long pink scar where they had pinned it back together, she was overjoyed to finally be free of it and jumped off the exam table to hug the doctor and Rossen and even the nurse! She turned a circle in the waiting room and Rossen laughed at her as they went out the door.

  That afternoon, she picked up her guitar and played rock and roll as loud as she dared. Later, Rossen took her to Ruger’s barn to see the foals and Kit was in love. She’d never seen anything as intriguing as those sleek babies and she laughed right out loud when they all went to bucking and playing when they were turned out.

  That evening in her studio, she began to work on some models of the young horses in clay. Her studio felt rather empty because Isabel had shipped several of the finished pieces to California and Jackson Hole to art dealers and galleries.

  Rossen finally baptized her on the first Saturday in March. They’d been waiting for her to turn eighteen and her cast to be removed and they scheduled it the very next day. The whole family came home from college again to be there with her. As all the brothers and Rob and Slade and their bishop placed their hands on her head when she was confirmed, it was the most amazing feeling. Better even, she thought, than the baptism itself.

  All her life she'd dreamed of being adopted into a real family. She'd fantasized during the long, lonely times at different foster homes, of a family that really loved her and wanted her and was good to her, too. In her heart she hadn’t really thought it was possible, but it was nice to pretend. The weight of these men’s hands felt like that family of her dreams.

  She went to bed that night with a heart so full, she couldn’t think of one thing to ask for, except for God to continue watching over those she loved.

  ****

  A week after he baptized her Rossen took her for another prenatal checkup, and an appointment with her teacher.

  Her doctor declared that everything looked good and inquired about whether she was pre-registered at the hospital and had signed up for a childbirth class. Rossen knew from the look on her face that these were another couple of mental hurdles she would need encouraged through.

  They got through the preregistration hurdle relatively easily. He just punched in the number on his phone and handed it to her as he drove, and she had to face it head on.

  She was frankly floored when she realized it was going to cost somewhere between five and ten thousand dollars to deliver this baby, and he decided to deal with this land mine before she tackled the classes.

  He had her drive all the way home once they reached the gravel road, and he pep talked her the entire time about what was best for the baby. By the time they reached the Rocklands, she was excited to be driving and seemed slightly less devastated about what a financial burden she was.

  That week he started talking to her about the childbirth classes, but the idea took some getting used to. Two weeks later she finally called and registered for the class. At the end of the call, the woman on the other end of the line mentioned that Kit and her “coach” would be in a class with eight other couples and Kit changed her mind and unregistered immediately—only Rossen didn’t realize it.

  It was two more weeks before he figured out she had no intention of taking the class and they got into it on the way home from the doctor’s office again. With more frustration in his voice than he usually had, he said, “Kit, you’re due in less than eight weeks. You’re running out of time! You need to do this now! What’s the problem? The class is free, for Pete’s sake!” Her reply was calm, “Women have been having babies for thousands of years without childbirth classes. One more won’t hurt.”

  He pulled the truck over to the side of the road to stare at her. “You’re kidding me! You’re planning to go have a baby without being as prepared as possible? I'd think it would be plenty exciting, without wondering what the heck was going on! Kit, this is childbirth! Childbirth!” He repeated these last two words slowly as if she were having a hard
time understanding.

  She calmly faced him. “Don’t be demeaning. Not having the class couldn’t be any worse than sitting in a room full of blissfully wedded couples talking about labor and breathing! You’ve read the book, too. I’ve seen you. You know this isn’t going to be geography 101!”

  He was quiet, thinking. Something was going on here. This wasn’t like Kit to be intimidated by any subject, even one as unglamorous as labor. That was it! It was the blissfully wedded couples she couldn’t face! That made more sense. He started the truck and pulled away, wondering if he really had the guts to go with her. He grasped at options, only to discard them one by one. Taking his mom wouldn’t help the couples thing. Joey could be the dear friend coach, except she was still at school in Logan. Kit was pretty adamant. He doubted she could be nagged into going alone.

  Realizing he was out of options, he had a mental tug of war with himself all the rest of the way. She couldn’t face the class alone. He wasn’t sure he could face the class at all, but she had to go.

  As he turned off the truck in the garage, he squared his shoulders and turned to her. “I’ll go with you.”

  She raised her eyebrows. “Uh huh. Really.” She obviously didn’t believe him.

  “But you owe me! Big time! You’re gonna have to balance my checkbook for a year! And prepare my financials for the CPA at tax time next march. And I’ll think of some other stuff, too!”

  She laughed. “Now you’re scaring me! Are you serious?”

  “Just make the call, Kit. I don’t care what women have been doing for thousands of years.” She finally registered.

  When Rossen told Naomi he was going to go with, she raised her eyebrows at him, too. “Oh my!” That’s all she had to say to make him blush. “Are you sure you’re up to this?”

  Rossen shook his head. “Of course not! It’s just the only way she’d agree to face it at all. She can face labor, just not married couples. I can face married couples, just not labor.”

  Kit’s bedroom was directly above his and lately at night, he could hear her get up and walk around at all hours. One night when he went up to check on her, she was pacing the hallway, her eyes tired, her face exhausted.

  He whispered to her from the stairwell so he didn’t frighten her in the dark, “Kit, what are you doing?”

  She made a sound of disgust as she whispered back, “Just trying to survive this night.”

  He came all the way into the room. “What’s wrong?”

  She whispered fiercely, “Nothing's wrong. Apparently it’s supposed to be this way. I just can’t breathe, I have raging heartburn, my hips ache and when I lay down, I fear becoming beached like a great blue whale. Not that I’d ever whine or anything. What are you doing?”

  He grinned. “Smiling at you. You’re a very entertaining pregnant lady, you know?” She gave him the look as she continued to pace.

  He extended his hand. “Come on. Let’s go for a walk, before the whole house thinks you’re cute when you have heartburn. It’ll take your mind off of it.” He got in the coat closet and held her parka for her.

  She whispered, “You’re crazy! I’m in my slippers!”

  “You’re right, but I’m not boring. And I’m in my slippers too.” He held the coat and she put it on.

  They quietly went out the French doors to the deck, and he took her arm as they went down the stairs to the lawn. They walked past Ruger’s broodmare barn to the path beyond and slowly wended their way up the hill behind and Rossen asked, “Would it help to remind you that you’re soon going to have a beautiful little daughter out of all this?”

  She stopped to rest. “Actually, that’s exactly what I needed to hear right now. The heartburn is gone. Now I’m just out of breath.”

  After a minute they walked on until they came to a group of boulders beside the trail, and he pulled her down for another break. They faced the east where the sky was starting to lighten, the blue gray clouds showing barely a hint of purple in the dusky pre-dawn. She leaned against him to watch the sunrise and said, “I thought you were nuts, but taking a walk at this hour is glorious. You were right, again. I feel much better.” She sighed and leaned against him in the first light of day. “Wyoming is a beautiful place.”

  ****

  He knew she’d fallen asleep against his shoulder, and he wasn’t sure what to do about it. Should he wake her up to go back where it was warm and comfortable? Or should he let her sleep while she could? He leaned his back against another rock and pulled her against his chest and held her as she rested.

  ****

  Later that morning in Sacrament meeting, he was sitting on the back row between her and his dad, trying to focus on the speaker. It was High Council week and he was struggling to find the point in the lengthy dissertation, feeling thoroughly tempted to fall asleep. Beside him, Kit abruptly sat more upright. He glanced down at her just as the side of her tummy began to bump and he felt the baby kick him in the back of his forearm. It was all he could do not to jump like he’d been shot. His eyes grew wide as he tried not to stare down at her belly and she smiled up into his eyes at his expression. The baby had kicked him! He could still see a small arm or leg bumping around inside her. How he wanted to put his hand there and feel what was happening! If they hadn’t been sitting in church he probably would have.

  The same thing happened the next night as they drove home from watching a movie at Slade and Isabel’s with Ruger and Marti and his parents. This time in the dark of the truck she took his hand and laid it against her tummy, so he could really feel the baby move. It was the most incredible thing he’d ever felt.

  ****

  The first night of their childbirth class arrived and both of them were complete wrecks. He kept having to remind himself he was there to make her less nervous and he still didn’t think he could pull it off. He knew she really could read him like a book when just before they walked in the door, she turned to him and smiled her heart stopping smile, and said, “Calm down, you’re gonna be fine.” He grabbed her hand and held on for dear life as they walked in.

  In some ways it wasn’t so bad and in some, it was worse than they’d thought. Once they got past the fact that some of the couples were enjoying the most graphic stuff and one of the couples was naming their baby girl Bruce, they did all right.

  When the instructor asked what they were naming their baby and Rossen answered Rocky Star, Kit laughed and he finally decided they were going to be okay. There was actually more good information than he had expected and they learned a lot. When there was something that made them uncomfortable, they either ignored it, or blushed, and they got through that first night.

  After class, the instructor recommended they all tour the labor and delivery wing sometime before their next week’s class. Rossen and Kit decided to go up right then while they were already in town. It was actually very cool. The rooms were almost like hotel rooms and going past the nursery window Rossen could hardly pull himself away. Looking at these tiny babies and trying to equate them with the kicks he felt this last week was incredibly intriguing. Each little finger and toe fascinated him. Even the baby that was screaming its little lungs out as its diaper was being changed was its own miniature miracle.

  Kit finally dragged him away, saying, “C’mon, I wasn’t able to force much down at dinner because of nerves and now I need to go home and eat something.”

  Still looking back at the babies, he said, “I’m starving too. Let’s stop at a café on the way home.”

  As they sat across the table from each other while they waited for their food, he asked, “Well, what did you think?”

  She colored slightly. “I ran the full gamut from cool, to gross, to oh brother, to this weird feeling that any minute they are going to say, ‘Just kidding! That’s not really how you get these things out. That’s not actually possible, but we had ya going for a minute there didn’t we?’”

  Rossen laughed so hard at her that he choked on his water and she looked embarrassed. When
he could finally breathe, she asked, “And you?” She was looking at him like she truly wanted to hear his answer.

  “Honestly, I have more respect for women than ever before. I’m grateful you're willing to go through all this to get these little people here for us. I’m afraid if it were up to men, the species would die out.” He gave a sheepish smile and continued, “Seriously, it’s just like that ultrasound. I was worried and nervous at first, but now I’m so glad I came. There’s a lot more that goes on with your body than is obvious, and it’s probably good for us clueless wonders to know and understand, so we can at least sympathize, if not help out.”

  As he continued, she stirred her water with her straw. “Mostly, I just wish I could make it all easier for you. I would if I could.” He reached across to squeeze her hand as it lay on the table.

  She said, “You’re here. And I know you didn’t want to be. That helps more than you’ll ever know. Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome.” He fingered her ruby ring before letting go.

  ****

  He heard her up that night walking, and he wondered if he should get up and be with her again. He decided against it. Sometimes he got so mixed up about what their roles were in this relationship. He heard her open the door to the deck and told himself he should go back to sleep. He got up and looked out to see her sitting in a chair out there. At least she wasn’t walking alone. Maybe he shouldn’t have taken her outside the other night.

  Chapter 10

  April came in with a vengeance and an early heat wave made the river rise fast. The National Weather Service kept a close flood watch as the Rockland herds dropped their last calves.

  Kit had never seen such a marked change in the seasons. The deep cold and snows of winter melted into a hesitant spring and frost appeared at night long after the snow was gone. And then, almost overnight, the world turned a deep, rich emerald from horizon to horizon. Only the thickest pines broke the brilliant spring green.