Above Rubies (Rockland Ranch)

by Jaclyn Hawkes

He laughed at her and turned with her to continue on down the beach. "Is that what you call this love thing? Screwing up?"

  She turned her face up to his. "I guess so, because I have to be honest with you, Nick. I like you, I respect you, and I think you're adorable, but I don't think I'm in love with you. I'm sorry."

  He put his arm around her shoulders and turned to walk back down the beach toward the car. "I know, Kit. And it's okay. I'll keep trying, and if it never works, then at least I'll have had the chance to have loved a truly good woman."

  Back at the door to her hotel room, he took her in his arms for a moment, then kissed her on the forehead, and said, "See you in the morning."

  ****

  The next day went somewhat better. He still looked at her with those deep brown inscrutable eyes that she didn't know how to deal with, but she knew they were friends no matter what. And when they played Coming Home, she played and sang with him wholeheartedly, in spite of the fact that she wished they could go back in time.

  When he asked if he could see her and Joey to the airport that evening, she accepted, even though this time she was sure it wasn't wise. She just had no idea what else to do. Kit insisted he let them out at the curb. She didn't think she could bear to face those eyes in front of a bunch of his fans. He helped them get their bags checked and then hugged her like he never wanted to let go, and kissed her on the forehead again. Somehow he must have known she would be too uncomfortable if he really tried to kiss her and she was incredibly grateful for that.

  As she went to go, he reached out to pull her back. She turned to him and he looked deep into her eyes and asked, "Kit, would you think about something while you're home? Would you think about coming back to LA forever?" Her eyes flew to his in a panic, but what she saw there was real. She knew he was absolutely serious.

  She had no idea what to do, but she knew his question deserved an honest response. "I'll think about it." She gave him one last long hug and he got back into his beautiful car and drove away.

  Once he was gone and they walked inside, Joey looked at her long and hard, but she never said anything. Kit was glad. She had no clue how to handle any of this, let alone talk about it with someone else. All the way home she felt guilty, but she could never pin down exactly what for. By the time she walked into the house at eleven thirty to find Rossen waiting up for them, she was exhausted.

  Chapter 17

  When Rossen saw them come in, he knew right away that Kit was troubled about something. He stood up from the couch with Mimi sleeping on his shoulder and accepted hugs from both of them. Kit hugged him first, leaning in to kiss Mimi gently on the cheek and then asked him if she could take her to bed with her. He handed her over and watched her walk away. Once she was gone, Joey plopped down on the couch with a sigh and he sat back down next to her. "What's going on? Why does she look so hammered?"

  Joey laughed. "Rossen, even hammered that girl looks better than ninety nine point nine percent of the women in this world, and you know it. She's just tired. She's dancing about three times faster than most women, trying to keep my bone headed brother happy. Cut her some slack. Plus, this time I think she's struggling to balance a lovesick rock star into the mix and he's depressed the heck out of her."

  Rossen turned on the couch to look directly at her. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Say that again. What's going on?"

  Joey yawned. "I'm not sure, because you know how Kit is. She keeps her troubles to herself. But if I had to make a guess, I'd say that Nick has fallen hard and fast for her and she's trying to figure out how to deal with it."

  Rossen leaned back against the couch and put his head back to look at the ceiling. "What else were you saying? What's she doing to try and keep Treyne happy?"

  Joey sat up to look at him like he was crazy. "What are you talking about?"

  “You just said she was dancing trying to keep your boneheaded brother happy. What is it Treyne's unhappy about?"

  Joey gave an exasperated sigh and stood up. "Rossen, I swear for an intelligent man, you're a dork sometimes!" She headed for her room saying over her shoulder as she left, "You're the boneheaded brother, not Treyne. He loves her no matter what she chooses to do. You're the one she has to try so hard to please."

  He sat on the couch alone, utterly stunned. He had no idea what Joey was talking about. He sat and tried to figure it out, finally gave up and went to bed. He'd ask his mom what was going on tomorrow.

  ****

  Kit made it through church without falling asleep and felt like she'd won a sizeable battle. After dinner she was back out on the deck again with the baby in the lounge chair. The leaves had started to change on all the hillsides around and even though the air was brisk, the scenery was incredible. She had Mimi wrapped snuggly in a blanket and was enjoying the feel of her little body cuddled close when Rossen came out to pull up a chair beside them. His hair was windblown and he was wearing a USU sweatshirt from college and a well faded pair of jeans that fit his body to perfection and she watched him come over and sit down with pleasure. He was a gorgeous man. Mimi reached for him saying, “Dah,” and he picked her up.

  He watched Kit watching him and she didn't even try to hide it, as he came and sat down and asked, "So, how was LA?"

  She studied his eyes, wondering what she was hearing in his voice as she answered, "Good. Hectic, but fun. California is like a whole different planet sometimes."

  "What do you mean?"

  She shrugged. "I don't know how to explain it exactly. It's like life speeds up and becomes more superficial all at the same time. It's really fun to go for a couple of days, but I think living there would be exhausting."

  "You've looked tired when you've come home these two times. Are you doing okay?"

  "Actually, this time it was more my school stuff from before I left, than California. And then some of the people we work with there can be a little hard to figure out. But it's fun. Honestly, we took a Maserati through the drive-through at McDonalds yesterday. It was great!" Her eyes sparkled. "I mean, who gets to do that? Nick is talking about doing a benefit concert and I love being a part of a band, but it's heavenly to come home."

  He was watching her intently and asked, "What's going on at school that's so hectic?"

  Feeling slightly guilty that she had to work to shrug, she said, "I've just been trying to get everything done so I could go to LA and then come home here without falling hopelessly behind. Being a studio musician in another state, a full-time student, and still trying to be even a part-time mom is a stretch sometimes, but I think eventually I'll get a handle on it."

  She wasn't mentioning coming home permanently in December because there was no point in arguing about it until she had to. She was still hoping all the extra credits from her CLEP tests and the internships would smooth him over somewhat. He was looking at her like he was skeptical and she wanted to squirm. Finally she decided she was too tired to feel guilty for trying to eventually please him and she closed her eyes. She still hadn't asked him how old she had to be, to be old enough to settle down.

  ****

  The day and a half break before going back to school was smart, because she had tests, projects and big assignments due all that week and the next, then mid-terms rolled in. She only had to do a big test in Spanish and a major sculpture project, and pass off a song for guitar, but she was taking another CLEP test and Matt was encouraging her to try for her next belt. Add to that three dates a week and the drive time back and forth to Wyoming and her life felt crazy. But she hoped it would all be worth it.

  The first Monday back, Nick called and then about every three days roses began to arrive. If there was any doubt that he was serious about making sure she knew he was thinking about her, they were dispelled when the mailman showed up with a glass jar full of sand and a shell with a tiny guitar carved into it, and a CD with a new song he'd written just for her.

  He called her every couple of days and she always tried to steer the conversation away from herself. It worked because
Nick usually asked her questions about God or life, and they had some great discussions about the principles of the gospel. The fact that Kit was a recent convert somehow made everything easier to grasp for him and she could sense that he had some deep questions that he’d only lately begun to have answered. She tried to help him understand how happy living the gospel made her.

  He'd asked her to come back in the middle of October and this time Joey couldn't go. Kit would only be staying for two days, and she knew she would be fine, but she still wished Joey would be coming.

  The day before she was scheduled to fly out, Mimi came down with her first bad cold. Kit held her as she fussed and rocked her several times in the night. Toward morning Rossen came to rescue them again. He held Mimi and rocked her, and when she was still fussy he gave her a priesthood blessing, and she was able to finally snuggle against his neck and rest. It was another morning when Kit woke up lying on the couch with the two of them on the floor beside her. It was the closest she'd felt to being a real little family of their own, and she left for the airport more determined than ever to move home soon. Leaving Mimi in Rossen's arms sick was hard, and she cried half way to the airport.

  ****

  Nick met her at the airport in his Mercedes this time. The Mitchell's had been unable to come at the last minute, so it was just her and him, and the deep chocolate ache in his eyes that hadn't let up in the preceding weeks. She knew he wanted to kiss her and it scared her to death. For some reason she felt strongly that she didn't want to go there. Even after all the dates she'd accepted at school, she'd never let any one kiss her. It wasn't that she thought kissing was wrong. It was just that she didn't want any of the guys she'd gone out with that close to her. With Nick, it wasn't that he wasn't extremely attractive, but she didn't want to encourage the feelings he had for her that she couldn't return.

  The two days actually went more smoothly than either of them expected. Without the Mitchells they had to scale back the work load. They ordered in meals and all in all, when Nick took her back to the airport, she felt like it had been a successful trip. She and Nick had found a sort of professional, slash dating, friendship that wasn't entirely what either of them wanted in the long run, but it was comfortable and when he hugged her at the curb and gave her a tender kiss on the head again, she smiled an honest smile at him and walked away.

  He called her the next day and arranged for her to come back two weeks later. They'd be doing their regular recording and there was also a masquerade ball being put on for a local charity, and he asked her to go with him. Then Nick passed his phone to Bryan and he asked Joey to accompany him as well.

  Even Joey had never gone to anything like a real masquerade ball complete with the who's who of all of LA, and they planned their costumes on a professional scale. Bryan had told Joey he was going as a pirate, so she was going as a colonial lady with the hat, the parasol, the corset, the whole bit. Nick wanted to surprise Kit with his costume so she chose to be a mystical fairy in a filmy dress and wings that sparkled an iridescent blue to match the glittery do she would have, and her shimmering skin. The dress showed off her figure and brought out the color of her eyes, and she hoped it would give her the confidence she'd need to associate with the famous people she knew would be there and the women who would all be vying for Nick's time.

  That week, Kit and Matt drove to the foundry near Salt Lake City, where her bronzes were being finished, to go over them for the final approval before they shipped out the next day for their new home. Isabel's and Slade's Thoroughbred arm in California was actually within an hour and a half’s drive from the recording studio and she was going to try to break away to go check on them when they were finally placed. They were the crowning work of her artistic career and she was thrilled to see them nearing completion.

  The grueling pace she'd been keeping trying to get everything done was starting to wear on her and one Tuesday night, as she pulled into the ranch house, Rossen met her at the door with a happy baby and a concerned face. He looked her up and down unabashedly as she reached for the smiling child in his arms. She wasn't sure what to think of the look he was giving her and she looked down at herself. Her clothes were clean, everything done up correctly, she was modest, she was stylish. She had no idea why he was looking at her that way. "Is something wrong? Why are you staring at me?"

  He laughed as she kept checking her clothes, but then his face sobered and he asked, "How much do you weigh right now?"

  She stopped kissing Mimi Star to look back at him. "I beg your pardon?"

  "How much do you weigh?"

  "I have no idea, why?" She looked down at herself again. "Why do you ask?"

  He shook his head. "Just every time you come home, you've lost more weight. Are you eating okay? You're nearly as slender as when we found you. Dr. Sundquist would have a fit." He actually put a casual arm around her waist as he walked them into the great room, and although he didn't even seem to notice, Kit about came unglued. Her life had become the most insane ballet of dodging the guys at college and even Nick. They were always trying to hug her and hold her hand and she'd become adept at staying out of their reach. She had learned to love physical affection while here in the Rockland’s home and she thoroughly enjoyed being hugged by the brothers and even Matt was great, but the guys who really liked her, she struggled to keep at arms length.

  With Rossen it was just the opposite. She would have loved to have him near her anytime of the day or night, but he'd become a slave to the stupid rules and hardly ever got near her anymore. And then tonight he puts his arm around her and doesn't even realize. She could have clobbered him except she was too happy about it. His concern felt wonderful.

  Kissing Mimi once more, she assured him, "I'm eating fine. I'm just busy. Give me about another six weeks and I'll be home and the pressure will be off and I'm sure I'll be back to my regular chunky self again."

  His smile brightened her whole world up. "Yeah sure, you chunky. You weren't chunky the day before you had Mimi." He walked over to the fridge and started to dig through it. "Isabel made dinner tonight. It was great! We saved you some." He took a plate out and put it in the microwave to reheat. "Maybe you should cut back on things at school somewhat and add an extra meal or two." He leaned against the kitchen counter to watch her play with the baby.

  "I can't cut back until the end of the semester. I have too many things to finish first. Then I'm going to cut back in a big way." She looked up and into his eyes. Their two sets of blue eyes locked and held and she almost wondered if he knew her thoughts, but then the microwave went off and saved her.

  He put her plate in front of her and poured her a huge glass of milk and took Mimi back. The food was wonderful. Food at home always was and she was definitely hungry. He was silent for a minute while she ate and then asked, "This isn't another money thing is it? Do you have enough groceries?"

  Kit laughed and almost choked on her food. She loved him all the more when he watched over her. "No, Rossen, I promise I'm not skimping on food. Actually the scholarships are paying for all of my college expenses and I've put all of the money you've been paying me, as well as the money from the bronzes and other pieces into my investment account with Slade. Slade found out they would've had to pay another sculptor almost forty thousand dollars for the bronzes and they paid me that much! I told them I wouldn't take it, but he put it in anyway. And I haven't even deposited the two checks from Nick yet. I'm not exactly sure how he's paying me, but he told me he's giving me the pay for both playing the guitar and singing, and my first check for those three days was almost eight thousand dollars."

  She took another bite and chewed it. "I've never had money and I'm afraid I'll blow it if I start spending it, so other than some school clothes Joey helped me pick out, I haven't spent any of it at all."

  "What about money for movies and stuff there in Logan? Don't you need some for entertainment or eating out?"

  She looked at him and was somewhat hesitant to answer. "Rossen, I'
ve been going out at least three times per week religiously, sometimes it's more like six, in order to fill your ‘enjoy this season of my life’ requirement. There's nowhere else to fit in another movie or dinner out. I'm never the one doing the asking and they seldom let me pay. Between dates and LA, I have all the entertainment I can handle, thanks. What I'd really like is a little more time on a horse here at home and a peaceful walk by the pond."

  He just looked at her quietly for a minute, his arms folded across his chest while Mimi pulled herself up against his pant legs, two slobbery fingers in her mouth. Finally, he said, "Finish your dinner. It's too dark and cold to ride with the baby, but we can take your walk."

  Chapter 18

  The day came for them to head back to California and although it had now been nine weeks of walking away from Rossen and Mimi, leaving had never gotten easier. This time she wouldn't be back home in Wyoming for eight days unless she missed the big student Stab in the Dark Halloween party and dance at the university, and she knew it would be a discussion with Rossen if she tried that.

  Four different guys had asked her to go. She'd finally asked Matt if she could hang out with him for the night to avoid it all and had mentally begun to gear up to stay away from home that long. Now when she was actually walking away, she wished she'd just had it out with Rossen and planned to miss the student party. She stood beside them snuggling Mimi as Rossen held her until Joey started to honk. He finally put his arm around her and hugged her tightly as the tears ran down her face, then gently pushed her away. "You're gonna miss your plane."

  As they drove to the airport, Joey eventually reached an arm across the car to gently pat her and say, "Just a few more weeks, Kit. This will all be over in just a few more weeks. And then maybe if Rossen ever quits being such a bonehead, he and Mimi could start coming with, instead of me."

  Kit managed to smile through her tears to say, "Bryan's gonna love that!" They laughed and it had helped, but her heart ached as she looked out the window of the plane to know the mountains of Wyoming were disappearing in the clouds behind her.