Falling into You

by Abrams, Lauren

  We’re both laughing one minute and then we’re not. His fingers move under the curve of my breasts, over my belly and lower. He slips a finger inside me and the sensation shoots through me as he moves them back and forth, watching my face.

  I try not to think about the expertise in those fingers, and the fact that he’s been here with other girls. Probably a lot of other girls. He sees the concern in my face and he kisses me then, pulling his fingers away and I moan a little bit for the loss, but he’s trying to say something.

  “You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

  I kiss him and pull back. “I want you right now.” I do. I need our flesh to be joined and the consequences be damned.

  There’s something else in his face and he opens his mouth again to say something and in a second, I know what it is. His eyes are huge and filled with emotion, and it’s for me. He can’t say it. I can’t let him. It would ruin everything, because it can’t be the truth.

  “Hallie, I think I…”

  “Be careful, Chris.”

  There’s disappointment there, in his eyes. I see it and I’m trying to drive the thought away by pulling him on top of me.

  “I need you,” I tell him.

  “I need you, too.” But those words aren’t safe either. Nothing about this is safe.

  He’s toying with my breasts, kissing one and then the other and I’m reaching for him, trying to tell him with my body that I need this, that I want him right now. He groans and tries to tear himself from me, but I wrap my legs more tightly around him and he’s pressing into my thigh and I’m on the brink of exploding just from being close to him.

  He reaches into the drawer by the side of the bed and grabs a wrapper. I take it from him and wrap my hands around his length, sliding it on.

  “Are you sure?” he asks me, staring deep into me.

  “I’ve never been so sure of anything,” I say, and he leans over and kisses me one more time. We’re kissing each other endlessly and he slides a little bit into me and we moan together and breathe together and feel together.

  “Jesus Christ,” he says, running his fingers through my hair. “You are so beautiful. I…” His words trail off and he’s smiling down at me. “Hallie.”

  The sound of my name on his lips overwhelms me. His voice is raw and needy and there’s nothing I wouldn’t give to him. He moves, slowly, and I raise my hips to meet him, and he lets out a low groan as our bodies are tangled together.

  I remember the dancing on the rooftop and our bodies are joined now, and it’s a different kind of dance. We fit together perfectly. We’re moving, faster, faster, towards oblivion. My body is starting to rebel against me and I feel like I’m going to drown.

  It’s like I was made for him.

  “Hallie, I can’t…”

  His face is contorted and I feel like everything inside me is breaking and then being made whole again. I am wanted, needed even. I know I can never recover from this. From him.

  “Oh, god. Hallie.” The sound of him saying my name, filled with desire and need and want makes me forget everything else but this moment and he’s crying out and I’m moving faster against him.

  My muscles unravel, and I’m crying out and he’s joining me. Moments later, he slumps on top of me, kissing my face and hair and neck. We stay like that for a long time, until he rolls off and nestles me into the crook of his arm. I’m curled into him and I am safe and warm and I’m wishing that people could actually live exactly like this.

  We’re silent for long minutes, but I can feel his eyes boring into me so I smile softly. “Sorry for seducing you,” I say.

  He chuckles, and it’s a low, intimate sound. “Not as sorry as I am that I didn’t do that the first time I saw you.”

  “On the patio?”

  “On the patio, in the diner, in the museum, in the park, in the middle of the party, everywhere. We’re never going to be able to leave this bed. I will never let you leave this bed. I didn’t know it could be like this. I never…” He doesn’t finish the sentence, just looks up at me instead with wide eyes.

  I kiss his soft, pliable lips and bury my face in his chest, willing him not to say another word. I want to stay in this moment, to live and breathe and feel it, to take a picture in my mind so that I can look back a thousand times, a million times. Because I know that fairy tales aren’t a forever kind of deal. You just hang on as long as you can.

  Chapter 18

  CHRIS

  I reach for her, like I did countless times during the night and morning and the next afternoon, but she’s gone. I’m empty. I reach for the pillow and there’s a piece of paper lying on top of it.

  Didn’t want to wake you, although you didn’t seem to have any compunction about doing that about eighteen times last night. I went to grab some coffee. If you’re lucky, maybe I’ll bring you some. Your phone has been ringing all day, because apparently, we managed to stay in bed for almost 24 hours. By the way, I think I’m definitely going to keep Sophia’s red dress. It seems to have worked wonders.

  I only woke her up three times, I think defensively, and then a smile crosses my face as I think about her responses. And she woke me up once, too. I smile at the memory of her tongue sliding over my body.

  Hallie, the perfect innocent schoolgirl. Involuntarily, Sophia’s words from the night before enter my brain.

  Not quite. I grin to myself at the thought of it, but then my stomach twists at the thought of another guy with his hands all over her, his body in her skin.

  I was just going to have to make sure that never happened again.

  My muscles ached and hearing voices in the living room, I grab my phone. 6:24 pm. Jesus. Marcus was going to kill me. Peals of laughter hit my ears. I had to get to Hallie. I was going to have to think about Marcus later.

  I was still pulling my shirt over my head as I made my way into the kitchen. Hallie’s sitting on a stool, in a pair of jeans and one of my t-shirts, laughing casually with my sister. She looks up at me, and overcome with a rush of emotion, I grab her face and cover her swollen lips with mine.

  She whispers into my ear. “Your sister is watching us.”

  “I don’t care,” I whisper back. I turn to Diana. “Good morning.”

  Her eyes are twinkling. “Little brother. Good to know you’re still alive.” She smiles at me wickedly. “One way or the other. By the way, Marcus has called, oh, I don’t know, at least ten thousand times. I finally had to tell him that your lazy ass was still in bed, and I don’t think you want to hear what he said about that.”

  I groan. “You should have told him that I was dead.”

  “Now, where’s the fun in that?” She holds up a picture of a three-year-old me banging on a pair of drums. “Hallie and I were perusing old family albums. We even managed to get to a couple of the videos.”

  Hallie’s grinning at me deviously. “I think my favorite is the one where you’re opening the Christmas presents in the middle of the night and then you try to pass it off like you’re Santa’s little elf. Creative. Very creative.”

  “Diana, I am going to kill you.”

  “Not if Marcus gets there first.”

  “Fine. Fine.” I wrap my arms around Hallie again. “Can you manage my very evil sister’s company for another minute or two while I make a phone call?”

  “I think I can manage your very wonderful sister’s company,” Hallie says, shaking her finger at me as I start walking back to my room.

  They’re giggling again. As I glance back, Diana’s looking after me with a wicked smile. “Did I tell you yet about…”

  I grab my phone and dial Marcus’s number, trying to get this over with before they start digging into the really embarrassing stuff.

  When Marcus picks up the phone, he’s speaking to someone in his most cajoling tone. “No, sweetheart, it’s just going to be a minute. We’ve already landed. Aren’t you supposed to be able to use your phone after you land? No, I didn’t hear about that. You know
those FCC people are full of shit, anyways. Calm down, calm down. You know, you have a face made for television. Have you ever thought about being an actress?”

  It’s another moment before he gets back to me. “Shit, mother fucking shit, Jensen. I bought us a couple of minutes, because this is extremely important. I’m going to have to install a GPS tracker in your brain. Alan wants to do dinner at Delmonico at 9 to talk about logistics. Do you think you can manage to make yourself available for the fucking director of your next film?”

  I don’t say anything for a minute.

  “Chris? Fuck. Jensen?”

  “Delmonico at 9.” There’s no way I’m getting out of this one. “Fine. I’m bringing a date.”

  “Bring whoever you want, as long as you can fucking show up. We’re still ironing out the details, but everything should be locked up by the end of the week. They want to do the announcement on Thursday. Got that? Papers signed Wednesday, and then we’re introducing the new James Ross to the world.”

  It gave me five days to myself. Five days with her before the madness. Not enough. “Look…”

  “9. Delmonico.” Click.

  Hallie’s talking with Diana in the kitchen as I emerge. She’s so breathtakingly beautiful that all I want to do is whisk her away to a deserted island for a few days or weeks or months. Both of their faces turn to me.

  “I’m going to have to take back that celebratory coffee, or so Hallie tells me.” She wraps her arm around my shoulders and kisses my cheek. “My annoying, immature, asshole little brother is going to be the next major movie star, after all. What a waste.”

  She hugs me. “Congratulations, little brother.”

  I hug her back before turning to Hallie.

  “Can you manage some Hollywood types in order to have dinner with me tonight? Marcus and the director of the movie want to hash out some of the details over an excruciatingly boring meal. The only way I can possibly make it through is if you’re there to offer some suggestions about how possibly to make the worst script in the world a little bit less terrible.”

  Her eyes widen. “I’m not very good at these things. I always make a jerk out of myself. You should just take Diana, or maybe you can go by yourself. I start to babble and then I sound like a total freak and you know I get nervous about this stuff and…” She won’t shut up, so I kiss her over the countertop.

  “Stop. You’re stuck with me. My Nirvana t-shirt probably won’t work for Delmonico, though, so we’re definitely going to have to go to Sophia’s.” I must have grimaced, because both she and Diana laugh at me.

  “I really don’t…”

  “I really do.”

  She sighs at Diana. “You forgot to mention that he’s totally stubborn.”

  “For once, my idiot baby brother is right. Go to dinner. Save him from himself.”

  Hallie glares at me. “It’s your funeral, then. I’m telling you, verbal diarrhea. What time is dinner?”

  I look at her sheepishly. “In like two hours?”

  “Chris!” She’s touching her hair, which is definitely puffed out around her face. “I am a total mess! And I have nothing to wear!”

  “Nothing sounds good.”

  She’s hushing me and shoving me out of the kitchen. “Go get dressed. We still have to get to Sophia’s and then I have to shower and do something with this.” She’s combing her fingers through her hair.

  “You can shower here, you know. Less work to do at Sophia’s.” I grin at her.

  “Christopher!” She nudges me and looks at Diana, who throws up her hands in mock innocence.

  “I promise. I’ll keep my hands to myself.”

  She shakes her head at me in response.

  “All right, all right, just give me a minute.”

  I jump in the shower, which, regrettably, Hallie does not join me for. I grab a blazer and a pair of jeans and throw them on over a t-shirt. When I pop out of my room a few minutes later, Hallie’s gathered her things and is waiting by the door. She’s hugging Diana and starting to mutter at me.

  “Now, I have probably less than thirty minutes to shower, get dressed, and somehow make myself appear like I haven’t spent the day in…Oh,” she says as she turns to me. Her eyes are moving over me and she’s smiling to herself. “You’re exactly the perfect James Ross.”

  “Not bad, baby brother. Not bad.” Diana gives me a brief hug. “It might take some getting used to, but…I think this whole movie star thing might be a good look for you.” She leans in closer as I hug her to me. “That and finally realizing that you can’t sleep your way through Manhattan and LA and god knows what in between.” I peek at Hallie to see if she’s heard Diana’s words, but she’s checking her phone nervously. “You’ve grown up,” she says in a louder tone, pulling me back and giving me a long look. “Don’t fuck it up, now.”

  Hallie grins and waves to Diana.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow, Hallie. We should get some lunch or something, if my brother ever plans to release you from his grasp.”

  “Lunch would be great, Diana. I would love that.”

  We’re in the elevator, and out of the watchful eyes of my sister, I’m practically devouring her with my mouth.

  “Stay with me for the week?” I manage to ask.

  “What?”

  “I become James Ross in five days.” She nods. “I want you to stay with me until then. I want to show you New York. If my life is really about to change, I want to do all of the touristy things that I’ve never done.” I’m trying to keep my voice casual. I don’t want to scare her off by telling her that I want her to stay forever. There’s plenty of time for sweeping her off her feet later. All I need to do for now is to talk her into giving me a chance. Five days. That’s it.

  “Chris, I would love to.” She sighs. “But I’m staying with Sophia. I can’t imagine that she’ll be very happy about it, and she’s been so nice to me, letting me stay at her apartment, and I really don’t want to make her any angrier than she probably already is.”

  “Let me take care of Sophia. Just five days. That’s all I’m asking for.”

  She’s studying me. I keep myself from kissing her for a second, to let her consider the offer. “Five days?” She asks.

  “Five days. You can even pack a bag at Sophia’s if you want. Why you would really need clothes, I don’t know.”

  “For the Statue of Liberty, silly.” She pokes me in the arm and wraps herself around me and I’m thanking God, for the first time in my life, for the slow elevator ride.

  ***

  Sophia is texting away furiously and lounging on her couch when we arrive at her apartment. She speaks to Hallie but her eyes are focused on me.

  “Hallie, you’ve been a bad girl.” She glances over the two of us, and waggles her finger. “In more ways than one.”

  “I’m sorry for ditching you…” Hallie’s offering a hurried explanation, but Sophia shakes her head.

  “Not about that, silly. I just got home myself, actually.” Hallie looks puzzled. “I thought you were going to call Ben, but apparently, that must have slipped your mind. I can see that you were busy.”

  “What are you talking about?

  “He’s been blowing up my phone. You better call that boy soon before I have to tell him what you’ve been up to.”

  A shadow crosses Hallie’s face, and a sharp twinge of jealousy shoots through me.

  “Oh no. Sorry, Sophia. I don’t even know how he got your number. I’ll call him, I promise. I just need to get dressed for this dinner and I only have a little bit of time. Shoot. Chris, can you entertain Sophia for a minute?”

  “Interesting choice of words,” Sophia says with a smirk, after Hallie had rushed off to her room without another word. Sophia was circling me, sizing me up. “Can I get you a glass of wine, Christopher?”

  I accept the offer. After she retrieves the bottle and opens it in front of me, we clink our glasses together. Finally, she sighs. “Truce, okay?”

  “What?�
�

  “Truce, Christopher. A peace treaty.”

  The water’s still running in the bathroom. I glance down at my watch, hoping that Hallie will hurry, partially because I don’t want to be late for dinner, but mostly because I don’t want to be in this apartment any longer.

  I glare at her suspiciously. “I wasn’t aware that there was a war.”

  “I know you better than that. And you know me better than that.”

  I tilt my head to the side, acquiescing. “Fair enough. I don’t like that you’re playing a game with her. With both of us.”

  “I’m sorry about that, Chris.” She looks at me with naked, deceptive honesty. “I’m not going to lie to you. When I saw you again, I had visions of movie premieres. Fancy parties. But we never did mix very well together, did we?” Her eyebrow is raised.

  “No, Sophia. We never did.”

  “That’s neither here nor there.” She places a long fingernail on my arm, and her voice is low and serious. “Hallie’s probably the best friend I’ve ever had. I just don’t want to see you messing her up. She’s an innocent, you know.”

  Not that innocent. A smile crosses my face.

  “Not that kind of innocent.” A smile twists Sophia’s face. “Hallie’s the kind of innocent who still believes somehow that people are inherently good. Morals over greed. Light over dark. All of that bullshit.”

  “What’s wrong with that?”

  Sophia snorts. “Come, on Christopher. It’s just not the way things are. We’ve both seen enough of the world to know that’s just not how it works. People will act out of self-interest. Period. There are no ifs or buts about that one. Given a choice of good and evil, people will choose the one that meets their needs without considering if right or wrong even matter.”

  “You’ve become jaded, Sophia. It doesn’t look good on you.”

  “Jaded is just another word for realistic, Christopher. And we’re both well aware of the fact that our dear, sweet, Hallie is neither of those two things.”

  Her condescending tone of voice rubs me the wrong way, and I’m on the defense now.

  “So what, Sophia?”

  “Hallie will inevitably learn how the world works. That being said, it would be much more convenient if you could manage to leave her poor little heart intact. It’s all well and fine for the two of you to have a little fling, but at least be honest about it with her. We both know that this is a game for you. I remember your penchant for games well.”