Beneath Our Faults

by Charity Ferrell

  Lane's mom, my Aunt Madeline, might have been my mom's sister but they were both on completely different ends of the parenting scale. My aunt was like one of those moms you saw on a family show while my mom could have her own Lifetime Movie made based on her life. Layla Hudson should have been banned from ever being able to procreate. The woman could hardly take care of herself, let alone a damn kid. She didn't have one maternal bone in her underweight body. The only reason she didn't abort me was because I was a paycheck to her. She gladly decided to share this with me on one of her drunken binges when I was ten.

  Our house, our cars and the majority of her designer handbags were all benefits of giving birth to the bastard baby and keeping her big mouth shut about it. Sure, she made money from her "movies" but it wasn't anywhere what our monthly allowance was from my sperm donor. Thanks, asshole.

  I still hadn't even heard from her today, which was honestly no surprise. The last time I had talked to her was last week and she told me she was in Vegas with her producer / boyfriend shooting a new movie. I had to hold back on the smart ass comments that wanted to come barreling out of my mouth when she tried to refer to herself as an actress.

  To be honest, I couldn't blame my "dad." I mean, who would want the entire world to know they knocked up one of the biggest porn stars in the industry? Yeah, not too many fucking people. I remember the exact day I found out exactly what my mom did for a living. It was the first day of sixth grade and an older boy strolled into the locker room bragging about how he had watched a movie of my mom being screwed from behind. I ended up setting him and the rest of the school straight from talking shit about her when my fist clashed against his nose, breaking it.

  I followed Sophia into the kitchen as she announced my arrival to the room. I waved to everyone, noticing some familiar and not-so-familiar faces. Tommy was sitting on the couch with a beer in his hand, talking to an older guy and pointing towards the TV playing a football game. I turned around, spotting Jamie and another woman busy in the kitchen with cooking utensils and bowls spread along the countertops. Scanning the room, I looked for the dark haired beauty, but she was missing.

  "Happy Thanksgiving, Keegan," Jamie said. "Would you like something to drink while you wait for dinner? It shouldn’t be too much longer."

  "If my sister doesn't burn everything," the older guy sitting by Tommy called out from across the room, laughing. “I was frightened when you told me you were making dinner this year. I remember when you tried to cook brownie mix in the microwave instead of the stove.”

  “David and Janis, this is our neighbor, Keegan. He's the one who has been giving Daisy rides to school,” Tommy said, introducing me from across the room.

  David slid out of his seat. "Nice to meet you, boy." I looked at the guy holding his hand out to me who I was assuming was Daisy's dad. His clothing was the first thing I noticed. While everyone else was decked out in their dress clothes, he was wearing a faded pair of old blue jeans and a red, flannel shirt. His hair matched Daisy's perfectly black locks to a tee. She was a spitting image of her father.

  "You, too," I answered, sticking out my hand and grasping his firm handshake.

  "Hi Keegan," Daisy's silvery voice sang out from behind me and I spun around to catch her sashay into the kitchen. My eyes swelled. Damn, she looked good. Her curly hair was pulled back with a black headband, which was almost as dark as her hair with shiny small gemstones around it. Her body was covered into a tight, purple dress that hugged every inch of her, causing images to replay in my brain of the night I had to undress her. Even though I was a good boy, I had to admit, I did sneak a peek at her never-ending curves.

  With the exception of the drunken episode at Lane's, she hardly ever dressed up like half of the other chicks at school, usually only wearing a t-shirt and jeans. Unfortunately, a pair of black panty hose covered the rest of her legs that weren’t covered by her dress. It was the first time I had witnessed someone under the age of sixty wear those, but they looked bangin' on her. A tall pair of black boots with a small heel hit her directly under the kneecaps. Visions of me taking her only wearing only those hot ass boots shot through my mind. Goddamn, those legs would wrap perfectly around my waist.

  "You kept your promise," she said, low, coming in closer. I noticed traces of makeup on her face. Her lips were a dark, crimson red that I wanted to drag my tongue across and taste.

  "You take your promises very seriously, remember" I replied, smiling. "You look amazing."

  "You don't look so bad yourself," she beamed, edging me with her elbow and walking towards her mother to give her a hug. At that moment, she was a different Daisy than I had grown accustomed to. The fake smile she usually thought she was pulling off, but wasn't, was now a shining, authentic grin. I stared at her; the girl I knew had been hurt deep inside but endeavored to put up a front. I had witnessed her breakdowns twice and I yearned to fix them; to change them into the woman laughing in the kitchen and helping her mom cook.

  "Come in here, Keegan," Tommy hollered, patting the seat next to him. I sat down and watched the game with them. I was unable to hold back my laughter when Daisy’s dad shouted at the TV every time the opposing team he was rooting for scored.

  “Come on, Luck! Run the damn ball!” David groaned. “You watch ball?” He asked, looking at me when a commercial played across the screen.

  “Yeah.” I wasn’t a huge sports fan, but I did make sure I went to all of Lane’s football games.

  “David here thinks the Colts are going to beat the Patriots,” Tommy mocked, pointing his beer bottle towards the TV. “Luck will never be able to take on my man, Brady.”

  “Bullshit. Brady is getting too old. Luck is new and prime,” David argued. “Ain’t no one that can say the Colts aren’t the best team this season.”

  “Brady is one of those top ranking quarterbacks in the country!”

  “And the hottest,” Jamie yelled from the kitchen.

  “And the hottest, according to my wife,” Tommy laughed. “Who you got Keegan?” He asked, looking my way. “I have fifty on the Pats, you on my side or what?”

  “Hate to break it to you, Tommy, but I think the Colts have this one in the bag,” I said, pointing to the screen. I’d known Tommy since they moved next door six years ago and he’s always been cool towards me, but I didn’t think it was a good idea to bet against Daisy’s dad. I needed to be on his good side. “It’s forty seven to twenty,” I added.

  David slapped me on the shoulder. “I’m glad a smart man is driving my girl to school.” If I had a dad, I would want him to be like that. Someone I could sit around and place bets with while we watched sports together.

  David held out his hand when the game ended. “Time to pay up.”

  Tommy pulled out his wallet and stuffed a fifty dollar bill in his hand. “Everytime.”

  “Dinner is ready,” Janis announced, walking into the room, with her hands full. “I don’t care if the game is over or not.”

  “Games over, honey, and we are fifty bucks richer,” David answered.

  Jamie appeared behind Janis. “I told you to quit betting against him, babe. Seven years and you haven’t won once.”

  “Daddy stinks at bets,” Sophia giggled, running into the room and hugging her dad’s legs.

  “Hey now, you’re supposed to be on daddy’s side,” Tommy chuckled, grabbing his daughter and pulling her into his arms.

  She gave him a hug. “It’s okay, I still love you.”

  Everyone cleared the room and headed into the dining room where a long table was covered with bowls of food.

  “Okay, this is amazing,” I said, pointing towards the sweet potato on my plate.

  “Made from scratch,” Janis answered, smiling.

  “My mom is seriously one of the best cooks,” Daisy said, proudly. “Unfortunately, that trait wasn’t passed down to me.”

  “You’ll catch on, eventually,” Janis said. “Speaking of cooking, I asked Tessa to come with us, because I know ho
w much she enjoys helping on Thanksgiving, but she never returned my phone call. Have you talked to her?”

  “Eh, not really,” Daisy answered, stirring her fork in circles in her mashed potatoes. Clearly, the topic made her uncomfortable.

  Her mom frowned. “You should. She could really use a friend at the moment.”

  Daisy kept her eyes on her plate. “I will.”

  “I understand it’s hard for you,” David cut in. “But that young lady needs support. I had to book her dad in for DUI last week. Breaks my heart, seeing their family fall apart like that.”

  “What?” Daisy asked, her eyes wide. “Darryl got arrested for drinking and driving?”

  David nodded. “That family, they are spiraling out of control. Tessa has been skipping school and her mom quit her job at the pharmacy. Your mother tried to go over there to fix the situation, but they wouldn’t even allow her inside their house. They’re mad I didn’t let him off the hook. Forty years of friendship and they don’t want anything to do with us, now.”

  “They’ll come around,” Jamie said, cutting in. “You have been friends too long to let something like that tear you guys apart. They’ll realize you had to do your job.”

  My attention moved back and forth to the people talking around the table, curious about the conversation. Daisy had never mentioned anyone named Tessa before. Actually, she hadn’t mentioned anything about her life in Indiana. Where she came frm was all one big mystery.

  “Please try to talk to her Daisy. I don’t want to see her go down the wrong path because she doesn’t have the right support system,” Janis said, taking a sip of wine.

  “I will,” Daisy answered, failing to look anyone in the eye. I could tell she was uncomfortable. He dad opened his mouth, most likely to continue the conversation, but I stopped him.

  “How are you doing with your photography?” I asked, suddenly, throwing out the first thought that came to my mind. My hand swept underneath the table and grabbed her hand into mine to give it a small squeeze. Her gaze drifted up, locking eyes with mine and she smiled.

  “It’s going fine,” she said, squeezing my hand one more time before letting go.

  “ADMIT IT, this was way better than eating some cheap Chinese food and sitting at home,” Daisy said, pointing a spoon my way. I focused in one the spoon, scooping up a glob of whip cream and pie before popping it into her mouth.

  She was right, but I refused to admit it. “Your family is nice,” I commented, completely off topic.

  A snort escaped her. "Nice, that they are. Overbearing and intrusive, also yes."

  "That's not always a bad thing."

  "Says the guy who gets to do whatever he wants. It's annoying when people say that about things they've never had to deal with. You will never understand the true fright of undertaking the difficulties of sneaking out your bedroom window or your parents finding out you went to a party drinking Malibu instead of having an all-girls sleepover.”

  "Damn girl, I had no idea you were such a little rebel. It's nice to see you at least used to have fun."

  She shoved another bite into her mouth and grimaced. "What's that suppose to mean?" She asked, swallowing. "I have fun."

  Yeah right. The girl was the essence of unfun. "Name one fun thing you've done since you've been here."

  "Lane's party.”

  "You got wasted and heaved out your insides. I highly doubt that could be classified as fun.”

  "Fine," she burst out. "I'm not a fun person. Happy?" Looking away from me, she shoved another bite into her mouth.

  "Damn, no need to get all pissy," I replied, surprised how fired up she had gotten over my words.

  "You don't have fun either. You think jumping from bed to bed and treating girls like trash is fun?" she snapped, her voice low and accusatory. Damn, I hit a sore spot.

  "Treat girls like trash? I use them the same way they use me. Just because they have a vagina doesn't mean they do no evil. Now what's your excuse?"

  "I don't have one."

  "So you've always been pissed off and mad at the world?"

  "I am not pissed off and mad at the world," she protested, leveling her gaze on me.

  "I beg to differ."

  "Do you want me to kick you out of my house?"

  "You can, but I just need to do one little thing."

  "And what is that?"

  I grinned, bending down and leaning into her chair. Slowly, I dragged the tip of my thumb across her hot lips.

  "Uh what are you doing," she asked, swatting my hand away from her. Ignoring her, I dodged her hands and swiped my thumb across the middle to wipe up the tiny glob of whipped cream on her lips. I grinned, noticing her breathing quicken and her eyes widen as I lifted my thumb to my mouth and sucked on it. "Mmm," I groaned, dragging it out of my mouth. "Someone who tastes this good shouldn't be angry all the time."

  She gasped and I waited for whatever response she was going to give me, hoping it wasn’t a punch to the gut, but I got nothing. Her espresso eyes bored into mine and she leaned forward coming my way. I wasn't sure what the hell was about to happen, but I wasn't going to stop it either.

  "Charlie Brown Thanksgiving is on!" Sophia screeched; flying into the room, and Daisy flopped back against her chair, shocked. "Come on," Daisy's eye diverted away from me. Sophia waked in between our chairs, grabbing a hand from each of us and pulling it toward the doorway.

  Never in my life had I ever been one of those "what-if" people, but that day, for the very first time, I wondered what would have happened if Sophia wouldn't have come barreling into that room.

  I TOSSED my bag down roughly on the table in front of me, slouching down in a chair. The day wasn’t even halfway over and it was already sucking major ass. I was positive I failed the History pop quiz we had that morning. Then my best friend, Piper, “accidentally” elbowed me in the face during a basketball game in gym. Yippee-freaking-yay.

  "I'm telling you, you should have punched her in her perfect snobby nose," Gabby suggested, collapsing in the chair next to mine. "I totally would have vouched for you."

  I huffed loudly, unzipping my bag for the water bottle that was shoved in there somewhere, but paused my search when I felt my phone start to vibrate. Grabbing it from the side pocket, I looked down at the screen to see mom flashing across it. Weird. My mom never tried to call me when I was in school. I ignored the call, sending it to voicemail, when a text popped up on my screen.

  DAWSON: Tessa tried to kill herself. She's at Hancock Memorial.

  My empty stomach dropped reading the words and my hands fell open, allowing my phone to slide out onto the wooden table. This couldn't be happening. Tessa wouldn't be that stupid. I jumped out of my seat, knocking the chair back, and throwing my bag over my shoulder before taking off out of the cafeteria like a bat out of hell. I could hear Cora and Gabby's voices behind me, calling out, but I ignored them and ran faster. It was my fault. If I had been there for Tessa, if I would have taken her calls, she would have never done it. I could have helped her but I was being too damn selfish.

  I ran to an isolated hallway. I bent down at the waist, catching my breath. "Breathe in, breathe out," I repeated the words over and over again.

  "Daisy!" Keegan sprinted down the hallway toward me. I stayed motionless, waiting for him. "Babe," he whispered, when he reached me. I shook my head walking straight into his strong arms without hesitation. Falling deeper into his chest, he tightened his hold around me. His hands rubbed my back while he kept whispering in my ear that whatever it was, I was going to be okay. Walking backwards with my head still buried into his shirt, we retreated until we were no longer in the middle of the hallway.

  "What happened?" he asked, keeping his hold on me as we sluggishly slid down onto the cold floor, leaning our backs against the hard lockers lining the wall behind us.

  "Do you remember the friend my parents said they were worried about on Thanksgiving?" I asked.

  He nodded his head. "Tara?"

 
"Tessa," I corrected. "I just got a text message telling me she is in the hospital. I guess she- she tried to kill herself."

  "Fuck," he bit out. "Do you need to go home and see her?"

  "I - I'm not really sure," I stuttered. "I want to but it's all the way in Indiana."

  "We better get going then," he said, pulling himself up and holding out his arm for me. "We can fly or drive, it's your choice, babe."

  I looked up at him blinking.

  "Fly or drive?" I asked, repeating his words in disbelief.

  "Which one?" His held his hand out farther for me.

  "Drive," I answered suddenly, grasping my hand around his and allowing him to lift me up from the floor. I didn't have money for a plane ticket and there was no way I was letting him buy me one.

  "Do we need to stop by your house and grab anything or are you good?" He asked me.

  "I'm good." The majority of my stuff was still back at home, anyways. "Unless you need to stop by your house."

  "Nope," he shook his head. "If I need anything, I'll just buy it whenever we get there."

  FOUR HOURS had passed when we got our first snowflake, sprinkling down on Keegan's windshield. The car ride had been hushed since I called my mom, who was shaken up about the entire situation. Tessa was like my sister and a second daughter to my mom. She didn't give me much information on the phone, just reassured me that Tessa was okay but wouldn't be getting released from the hospital for a few days.

  I sighed, admiring the fallen flakes with Tessa still on my mind. "I love the snow, " I muttered. Tessa, Tanner and I had always reverted back to small children whenever the snow would build up on the ground, dragging out our sleds out into the cold and having snowball fights.