Beneath Our Faults

by Charity Ferrell

  “Our Daisy girl is taming the beast,” Cora added.

  “It’s not like that,” I replied. “I actually don’t know what it’s like.” I still had doubts about what Keegan had said to me before we left the cabin. Everyone knew he didn’t do relationships, so I wasn’t sure why he was willing to change his rules for me.

  “Well, we will see, won’t we,” Cora replied. "Now spill it, Gab!" A pillow flew through the air, whacking Gabby in the side of the head. No! I wanted to ask her more questions about Keegan but it was clear our conversation had moved on. Gabby rubbed her head with her fingers and threw the pillow down on the floor underneath us.

  "Here goes nothing," Gabby moaned, picking at the crust on her pizza. "Well…..," she hesitated, "that v-card that I always talk about sorta got lost during the break."

  Cora jumped up from the couch pointing to the girl next to me. "I knew it you little hooker!" She stopped then brought her hand up to her chest taking in a deep breath. "Wait a minute. You were at a family party and you lost your virginity? That's just sick, Gabby. I told you to stay away from Piper and her damn messed up family. Gross," she shuddered then started to laugh, sitting back down on the couch.

  "Shut up, idiot. You know it's not MY family, creep," Gabby answered, setting her plate down on the coffee table in front of us. She looked up at Cora and flipped her off. "Such a pain in my ass," she muttered under her breath.

  "Yep, and that is why I am your bestest and you love me. Now details. I'm already pissed you waited this long to even tell me so you better make up for it with a damn good story."

  "Okay," Gabby drew out slowly. "Well you know him, Cora." Her hand flew out to grab the pillow she threw on the floor and shoved her face into it hiding. Cora sprang up from the couch and plopped down directly in the middle of the two of us. Her hand grabbed the pillow, pulling it away from Gabby's bright red face and tossed it across the room, out of her reach. I laughed and Gabby let out a tortured groan.

  "Gabrielle Nicole Taylor. Spill it right now!" Cora demanded, putting her hands on Gabby's shoulders and shaking her.

  "Okay okay," Gabby shouted, flapping her hands around and breaking away from Cora's grasp. "Dalton Douglas," she said in a tiny whisper, using her hands to cover her face that time.

  Dalton Douglas? I was fully aware I had a somewhat unusual name but who would torture their child with a name like that? I could make up a nursery rhyme on that spot with that name. Dalton Douglas sat on the chair, Dalton Douglas puked everywhere.

  "Piper's brother?" Cora screamed, prying Gabby's skinny fingers away from her face. Gabby's head nodded and she swatted Cora's hands away from her. "You lost your virginity to Satan's freaking brother? What the hell is wrong with you?"

  Whoa. Definitely not what I was expecting. I didn't even know the little demon had a brother. Poor guy, he had a cartoon name and he shared the same bloodline as Piper.

  "Yes," she moaned, shifting away from Cora on the couch. "I told you, stupid girl right here." She pointed over her head. "And he won't stop calling me now. The boy is driving me absolutely insane."

  “How did that even happen? I can’t believe you lost your virginity drunk!”

  “The party was miserable and everyone looked at me with their snotty noses turned down. They only thing they had to drink was champagne, so I just chugged glasses of that. I mean, I didn’t think that stuff actually got you that drunk. So I started wondering around his grandparent’s mansion to get away from everyone. The next thing I knew, I was in his room. Then his bed. Then we were naked and I was no longer a virgin.”

  “How romantic,” Cora snorted. “Did you like it?

  “Hell no! Do you guys remember when you lost your virginities? It hurt like a damn bitch. Any girl who says she got off during her first time is a downright filthy liar.”

  “Didn’t you tell him to go easy on you?” I asked.

  “I didn’t exactly tell him that my good ol’ cherry was still alive and intact. He didn’t find out until I cried out in freaking bloody horror from my poor vagina being ripped to shreds.” I opened my mouth in shock and Cora laughed.

  “You didn’t stop him?”

  “He tried to stop but I insisted he keep going. He had already broken through the barrier and I needed to get it over with, anyways. I was an eighteen year old virgin, for Christ sakes! But now, my vagina is seriously mad at me.”

  “I would be mad at you too if you let a Douglas near me,” Cora said.

  Gabby jumped from the couch and grabbed the remote. “Enough of stupid boy drama, let’s get back to our Salvatore brothers.”

  I GLANCED up at a knock on my door and found my aunt standing in the doorway. A tray was perched in her hand with a box of tissues and two pints of ice cream. “Sophia mentioned you were upset when you got home," she explained. On the ride home from Cora's, all I did was think about Keegan's offer. My brain yearned for me to let take that leap but my heart kept grabbing my hand before I made the jump.

  "That runt is worse than high school gossip girl," I mumbled, falling slack against my pillow.

  She let out a light laugh. "I'm convinced she gets that from her father. You mind if I come in? I come bearing ice cream," she smiled, holding one pint up in the air.

  I moved over, giving her room to sit down on the side of my bed. "You know I'm here to talk if you ever want to," she began, handing over a tissue. My crying had tamed down lately, but I think realizing my feelings towards Keegan and realizing I was ready to move on was bringing them back. They weren’t necessarily tears of sadness but they weren’t tears of joy, either. "In confidence," she added. "I won't go break our trust by telling your parents what you shared with me," she paused, opening up the ice cream. "Unless you're pregnant or it's a health issue, then unfortunately, I'm obligated to." Health issue? Dear god, please tell me she wasn't talking about me getting an STD.

  Rocky Road and a spoon came my way. "I know you did some therapy back home but haven't gotten into anything here. I would be more than happy to find you something and take you if you would like a professional to talk to instead. When you let your problems build up, they fester and then you end up exploding in the end."

  "Have you ever felt something for someone that you know you shouldn't?" I asked, looking up at her.

  "Keegan?"

  My head moved up and down in confirmation.

  "And why shouldn't you have feelings for him?" She challenged, pointing her spoon over at me.

  "Tanner," I whispered.

  “I see,” she replied, “but Tanner is gone.”

  "I just don't understand how I can have feelings for him when my heart is supposed to be with Tanner."

  "You are going to have to move on with your life," she told me firmly, no bullshit. "He's gone and would want you to live your life and be happy."

  "It's only been seven months. It's terrible I am even having feelings for Keegan.”

  She grabbed my hand, clasping it in hers. “There is no determined time for someone to mourn. You do it on your own time and at your own pace; whether that is days, months or years. Did your dad every tell you why I moved away from home?”

  “No,” I blinked. “I just thought you got a job here so you moved.”

  She tucked her hair behind her ears, inhaling a breath. “I did get an internship here but that’s not the ultimate reason I wanted to get out of Indiana. I had a situation similar to yours happen to me. I dated a guy all throughout college. One night, at the end of our senior year finals, there was a party being thrown at one of the frats on campus. He asked me to go with him but I had to study. I assured him to go ahead without me and have fun with his friends. At the end of the night, he decided he wanted to drive over and spend the rest of the night with me. He got into his car drunk and hit another car head on, killing a family on their way to vacation along with himself.” My face fell soft, peering over at her and noticing the glistening around her eyelashes.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, stunned this was the
first time I was hearing about this.

  “I understand our situations aren’t exactly the same because Tanner had no choice in his death but I think your parents realized what worked for me and decided to give it a try. They were so worried about you and were afraid you would try to harm yourself like your friend. I ended up moving here and interning for a company that Tommy's sister owned."

  She smiled. "I was bringing her coffee one morning and smashed into him leaving a trail of coffee all over his white shirt. I was so humiliated and apologized profusely. I promised to buy him a new shirt but he just laughed off the entire situation, telling me the only way he would allow me to make it up to him was to have dinner with him that night. One dinner turned into two dinners then I found myself wanting to spend all of my time with him. Allowing Tommy to come into my life made me realize I needed to create a life without Christopher now that he was gone."

  "We had so many plans," I cried out. "We had our entire wedding already planned. He was going to ask my dad to marry me the day we graduated. I couldn't imagine giving that away to someone else. He tried to get me to skip the day of the shooting with him to go to the lake with some of our friends but I was too afraid I would get in trouble. If I wouldn't of been so selfish Tanner would still be here with me!" My voice broke at the confession I had been keeping bottled up inside and the tears started to sprinkle down my cheeks.

  My aunt leaned forward and wrapped me into her arms. "Honey, no one knows when something like that is going to happen.

  “Why does it make so much more sense when you say it?” I asked.

  “Sometimes, we know what we want but it helps to hear someone else agreeing with you.” She leaned over, squeezed my shoulder and left the room. I reached for my phone and sent a message to the person who had been changing everything for me.

  ME: Do I still have that chance?

  KEEGAN: Fuck yes. Dinner tomorrow night.

  I tossed my phone beside me on the bed, taking in my aunt's words again. Maybe I wasn't as broken as I believed I was. Maybe I did need to realize that some people could stay in your heart, but not in your life. I might not have pulled the trigger but I could have stopped that bullet from hitting him. Now that I thought about it again, I was wrong. No one could have stopped that bullet from hitting him except for the person who pulled the trigger.

  “YOU LOOK amazing,” Keegan complimented, handing me a bouquet of daisies. I grabbed the flowers from his hand, lifting them up to my nose and inhaling their fresh, sweet aroma before carefully setting them down on the table behind me. I would put them in my room when I got home. "Thank you for the daisies, they're my favorite flower.”

  "Daisies for my Daisy," he answered. "And by the way, don't get mad at me if I don't keep my hands to myself," he added, his eyes going down my body then back up, suggestively.

  "Ohhh wow! You guys look so pretty!" Sophia squealed, skipping down the stairs with a Barbie in each hand. "Are you going out on a hot date?"

  "Yes we are, Soph," Keegan answered.

  She smiled brightly. "Is Keegan your boyfriend?"

  "Not yet," Keegan laughed, ruffling his hands in her hair and answering for me. "But I am hoping she will give me the chance. I need you to put in a good word for me, okay?" He gave her a wink.

  I smacked him in the stomach. "I'm sorry," I said "but I haven't had my tongue cut out recently so I am still able to speak and answer questions that are directed towards me."

  "Sure you can, but your answers will come out wrong and we can't be lying to the poor girl."

  "I'm going to have a date with my Barbies and act like it's you two!" Sophia interrupted our argument, jumping up and clapping her hands together giggling. "Have fun," she waved, hopping up the stairs one by one with both feet.

  Keegan looked at the stairs then back at me with crinkled eyebrows. "Act like her Barbies are us?" He looked at me questionably.

  "Yes," I answered, blowing out a breath. "She has a Barbie that she claims looks exactly like me and I'm positive the little shit has probably conjured up something that resembles you. So you better be nice or I’ll have her start sticking pins into him at night.”

  “Voyeurism, voodoo dolls – you guys are into some messed up shit around here, ya know?” He laughed. “Are you going to lure me in here to perform some virginal sacrifice on me when I drop you off later?”

  “Considering you’re not a virgin, you wouldn’t do anyways,” I said. “If you don’t use virgins, it’s bad luck.”

  He looked at me horrified. “I’m afraid that you even know that. We should probably go before you start scaring the shit out of me.” He grabbed my hand and laced our fingers together. “I have a hot date to impress you with.”

  MUSIC FILLED the background on the way to dinner and we pulled into a large, packed parking lot. "Is Italian okay with you?" He asked, stopping the car at the front door where two valets stood.

  "Mmmm," I replied, "a girl loves her carbs."

  He put the car in park and froze, his face turning pale. "Okay, I'm not sure if that is a sarcastic answer or a real one. Help me out here."

  "A real one. I love pasta," I assured him, watching the tension slide off his face. "Probably more than I should."

  "Carbs are great for that ass of yours I love," he grinned, leaning over and kissing me on the cheek. "Stay here." With that, he shut off the car and disappeared out the driver's side. My eyes trained on him circling around the car, handing the valet his keys, then opening up the door for me and holding his hand out. I grabbed it, his large hands engulfing mine, and let him lead me into the restaurant.

  A short brunette and tall blonde were standing at a counter as soon as we walked into the doors. "Reservations for Montgomery," Keegan told their over-eager faces.

  "Hi Keegan," the brunette purred, licking her lips and coming from behind the counter.

  "Uh hey," he said, uncomfortable, scratching behind his ear. "Can you show us to our table."

  "Sure," she said. We followed her, hand in hand, as she suggestively swayed her hips from side to side and making it obvious she was trying too hard. "Here you go," she said, stopping at a table with a candle lit in the middle.

  "Thanks," Keegan mumbled, pulling out my chair for me.

  "Is there a restaurant in town that doesn't have someone that has either slept with you or wants to rape you on this table?" I asked him, spreading the napkin across my lap.

  "Ehh, most likely not," he said, his mouth frowning. "We can go somewhere else if you want?"

  "No, it's fine." I looked back at the hostess counter catching the two girls staring our way. The waiter came, who thankfully was a man, and we both ordered our food.

  "Tell me more about you," Keegan asked me from across the table.

  "There's really not too much to tell, I answered, stabbing a piece of pasta with my fork.

  "That's a lie. Tell me what pisses you off."

  "You, girls that give me hate me because of you and bees."

  He chuckled. "So me, me and bees? Why bees?"

  "Bees are bitches," I said.

  "Damn, what the hell did the little shits do to you to make you hate a damn bug so bad?"

  "When I was eight years old, I had one of those barrel jug drinks. You know, the ones that are filled with knock off Kool-Aid or whatever?" He nodded his head. "Anyways, so I was playing in the sandbox one day and I got thirsty. I went to the picnic table where I had set my drink and chugged it. Instead of a yummy sugar drink, I got a damn stinger to the tongue."

  His smile turned into laughter.

  "It's not funny. I have been scarred for life from that day."

  Our dinner ended perfectly, without any other mean girls feeding me dirty looks to go with my pasta. He clasped out hands together when we walked out the front door and passed the envious eyes.

  "Do you have you ticket, sir?" the valet asked Keegan, holding out his hand.

  "Yes, but we are going to go on a walk. We'll be back," Keegan answered, walking and lea
ding me toward the busy street.

  "We're going for a walk?" I asked, one eyebrow arching.

  "Something like that," he smiled, grabbing my shoulders and bringing me in closer to his body. We walked hand in hand for a few minutes before he stopped in front of a carriage with a gorgeous horse in the front.

  “He’s beautiful,” I said, petting the horse’s white mane.

  "My lady," an older man, dressed in a suit, came from around the opposite side. He held out his hand in front of the carriage for me to grab. I looked back at Keegan with a questionable look and he nodded his head. The man lifted me up into the carriage and Keegan settled in beside me.

  “Cora texted me a book of notes and suggestions," he laughed. "That chick is the fucking queen of romance."

  “Even if you did get a date manual to make this great for me, thank you. I love it,” I said, snuggling deeper into his side.

  "So does this mean you're going to give me a chance? You can't tell me you're scared when you don't even know what you're getting into." His eyes met mine while he waited for my answer.

  "Oh, I think I know what I am getting into." And I did.

  "Okay Ms. Smarty Pants, what would you be getting into?" He asked, as we passed the cars and people coming down the street.

  "Drama," I answered sticking one finger out. "Chaos," I added with another finger. "And probably hurt too." A third finger went up.

  "Sounds like you will be living a pretty lame life if you’re afraid to try something new because it will cause drama, chaos or hurt. There are too many things that can cause those emotions, shit, being on this carriage could cause all three right now. Trust me, a little drama, chaos and hurt is good for an eventful life." I looked up at him and felt the slight blush rush up my shoulders. "So are you ready to give me chance? I already told you that you could punch me in the balls if I did anything to hurt you. You can't pass that up," he said, grabbing my chin and kissing me on the tip of my nose.