Sarah wandered off after a while, leaving me alone at the piano. Absently, I played the notes to the chorus of “My Favorite Things.” I couldn’t play the piano properly, but I could tap out the melodies for a few songs.
I went backstage to see how far along they were and was surprised to see they were only up to contestant number four.
Each girl’s talent was easily taking four times as long as it should have. Madame was no doubt being relentless with her suggestions yet again. I yawned. It was going to be a long night.
It was past eleven by the time the girl before me was up. My vision blurred with exhaustion. I stepped out to splash cold water on my face in the hopes that it would wake me up.
By the time I took the stage, Madame, George, and I were the only ones left in the auditorium. The other girls had left as soon as they were done with their talent.
My stomach clenched and unclenched as I stood in the center of the darkened stage waiting for the opening notes of my music. It was a familiar but not welcome feeling.
As my cue came, I pressed my palm flat against my abdomen and filled my diaphragm. Before I could even get the first note out, Madame interrupted me.
“No! Why is your hand on your belly, girl?” Contempt filled her voice. “You look like you’re groping yourself for heaven’s sake. Again.”
I blinked, my fingers clutching at my T-shirt. That was my routine, my ritual. I always put one hand on my abdomen. Feeling the air entering my body calmed me so that I could get those first notes out.
The curtain closed, shrouding me in darkness and I returned to my starting position. The music started again, the curtain opened, and I moved into position. It took all my willpower to keep my arm at my side as I drew my first breath.
“Stop, stop, stop! Are you a skeleton? Why is your arm so stiff at your side? Again!”
So we went through it all again. This time I was allowed to sing the first line before she stopped me.
“No, no. That note was hideous.”
She was right. I was so concentrated on my right arm looking natural that I slid into the first note rather than hitting it full on.
When the curtain closed, I rolled my neck a few times and took several deep breaths. Get it together, Corinne. Don’t let that crazy bat get to you.
I made it as far as the chorus.
She crooked her finger at me. “Come closer, girl.”
I walked to the edge of the stage.
“You need to rehearse before entering my stage again. I will not tolerate mediocrity in my contestants. And you, my dear, are mediocre.” She sneered. “Dismissed.”
I wanted to run offstage. I wanted to yell and scream. I wanted to cry. Instead, I calmly gathered my belongings and exited the building.
The breakdown hit me in the car. I drove a quarter mile down the street and parked in a McDonald’s parking lot so I wouldn’t risk Madame seeing me cry.
I hugged the steering wheel, the sobs shaking my whole body. I had known my performance wouldn’t be stellar, but I didn’t expect it to get massacred.
It didn’t deserve that. Did it?
Was I still in danger of being cut out of the pageant? Madame Yancy had placed conditions on me when I joined late. I thought I’d proven myself and that I stood a strong chance of winning. Otherwise what was all of this for? Now I was worried about just being allowed to compete.
I was so tired. I couldn’t… I wouldn’t…
“Fuck!” I slammed my fists on the steering wheel.
I would just have to work harder, practice more. There was too much at stake.
And I’d be damned if I’d give Madame any reason to lay into me again.
Chapter Twenty-One
Luke pulled to a stop in front of the Alpha house. As I slipped on my jacket, I checked my watch. He was actually a few minutes early.
Got to love punctuality in a man.
I ran out—well, not really. In four inch heels, the best I could do was scramble out to his Jeep and climb in, careful to keep my skirt down. I wrapped my arms around myself and shivered. Fall was losing its battle to winter. Dr. Dunnall’s moon boots might make an appearance sooner than I would like.
My cousin lived about an hour away, and today was her wedding. My parents were supposed to come, but my dad caught the flu, so I was representing the family.
I can’t say I was disappointed my parents would be absent, giving me a stay of execution from the awkward meet-the-parents scenario. Maybe I could actually enjoy the wedding. It’d been a while since I’d done the Electric Slide, and everyone needs the Electric Slide in their life once in a while.
I twisted, leaning my back against the door so I could have a better view of Luke as he drove. His posture was relaxed.
“Did I tell you my parents aren’t coming?”
“That’s too bad.” His ambivalent tone surprised me.
“Do you want to meet my parents?”
He glanced over at me before checking his rearview and switching lanes. “Do you want me to?”
I chewed the cuticle on my thumb.
“Why don’t you want me to meet your parents?” he asked. “Am I your dirty little secret?”
“No,” I said a little too quickly and forcefully. He raised his eyebrows. “I just don’t have much experience bringing guys home to meet my parents.” Only one experience to be exact, unless you counted my kindergarten boyfriend, Tommy, from down the street.
I stifled a yawn. Leaning my head back against the headrest, I closed my eyes, listening to the steady rhythm of the tires on the interstate. Even though I’d slept in much later than usual, I was exhausted. I had actually planned to study before leaving for the wedding, but by the time I woke up, I was pushing it to get ready on time. In fact, I’d grabbed my notebook and shoved it into my bag that was now sitting on my lap. I really should look at it.
“Cori.”
“Mmm?” I murmured, my eyes still closed.
“We should go in.”
My eyes flew open. We were parked in a church parking lot. I looked around wildly.
Luke’s expression was amused. “You were out.”
I checked the time. We should have arrived at least twenty minutes ago. “Did we hit traffic?”
He shook his head. “We were early, so I let you sleep.”
I pulled down the visor to look in the mirror, hoping my unplanned catnap hadn’t screwed up my hair or makeup. I was relieved to find myself mostly intact. I rooted around in my purse for my powder.
“How late were you out last night?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” I said, but I did know. It was three a.m. I’d gotten rooked into helping my sisters decorate the house in preparation for a visit from another chapter, which meant I hadn’t gotten to the gym for my workout until past ten. After that, I’d gone to the student center for vocal practice.
I finally understood the cliché burning the candle at both ends.
The powder didn’t quite cover up the dark circles under my eyes, but it would have to do.
I snapped my compact shut and smiled at Luke. “Ready?”
As we waited for the ceremony to begin, I casually looked around the sanctuary. The groom was originally from Virginia Beach, a neighboring city to Chesapeake. It was unlikely I would recognize anyone, but it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility.
The opening notes to “Canon in D” sounded, and in unison, hundreds of heads swiveled to watch the first bridesmaid enter. I looked appreciatively at the stylish jade-colored dress. My cousin always did have good taste. No gaudy bridesmaids’ dresses here.
The doors at the back of the church swung shut, and the music shifted to the traditional “dum-dum-da-dum.”
When I invited Luke to the wedding, I was primarily worried about introducing him to my parents. But now that we were watching my cousin glide down the aisle in her white dress, I realized introducing him to my parents wasn’t the only awkward thing about bringing a relatively new boyfriend to a wedd
ing.
My cousin joined her groom at the altar, and after a short prayer, we were permitted to sit.
I watched Luke out of the corner of my eye. What was he thinking? More importantly, what was he thinking that I was thinking?
Whatever you do, Cori, don’t be weird.
Sitting in front of us was the quintessential wedding guest couple. The guy was pulling at his collar where a line of sweat had beaded up on his neck. Next to him, his girlfriend leaned close to him with a smile that clearly suggested she wanted to be the one in a white dress. The guy’s response? A deep swallow and loosening of the tie.
Oh, God. Did Luke think I was that girl? He didn’t seem to notice the couple in front of us and was instead focused on the bride and groom. No visible sweat and the tie was intact. That was good, right?
I blinked and tried to focus on the ceremony.
But I couldn’t stop staring at the couple in front of me. Was she… Could she actually be blowing in his ear?
Yup, she was. Wannabe Bride was full-on blowing in her date’s ear. I would have loved to see his face, but all I could see from this angle was another tug at the collar. When she pulled away, she left a smudge of her orangey lipstick on his white shirt.
The girl caught me looking and I jerked my gaze away, feigning a fascination with the bouquet decorating the end of the pew.
Luke reached over and took one of my hands that were carefully folded in my lap. My heart warmed and I gave him a smile that I hoped he interpreted as I’m glad you’re with me and not I want to drag you down the aisle.
Luke raised his eyebrows and leaned close to my ear. “Stop being weird,” he whispered.
I started to giggle, which I ineffectively tried to cover up with a clearing of the throat.
Yup, that was me.
Number one weirdo.
...
Luke draped his arm casually around the back of my chair at the reception. He had to be bored out of his mind. I was bored, and this was my shindig.
Dinner had been served, toasts were made, and the first dance was over. I was biding my time until the bouquet was thrown and the cake was cut. Then we could make our exit without seeming rude.
My aunt and uncle stopped by our table for all of about twelve seconds. Just long enough for them to report to my parents that it was lovely to see me again, but not long enough to engage Luke in any kind of meaningful—or memorable—conversation. Just the way I wanted it.
I stole a guilty look at Luke. He wasn’t my dirty little secret, but that didn’t mean I was ready to announce his presence to my friends and family back home. It just seemed…wrong.
Even though Tyler and I were on the way out when he died, he had been a huge part of my life for five years. I was like an honorary widow or something.
Yeah, or something.
I didn’t have anything to feel guilty about, but when I was in situations like these that reminded me of home I couldn’t help but feel like I was doing something wrong. Like I was disrespecting Tyler’s memory by being here with Luke.
It was like my school life existed in a vacuum. Tyler had never been a part of it, so I didn’t feel bad when he still wasn’t a part of it.
Luke stifled a yawn, causing me to smile. Yup, definitely bored. Yet he didn’t look annoyed or suggest we leave early. He might actually be the perfect date.
But I already knew that.
I nudged him. “Thanks for coming with me.”
“No problem.”
“I’m sorry it’s so boring.”
He grinned wickedly. “It’s worth it.”
I arched one eyebrow. “Enlighten me.”
He leaned toward me and whispered suggestively in my ear. His words caused heat to radiate through my body.
Definitely the perfect date.
“I’m thirsty,” I said.
Luke started to stand, and laughing, I grabbed his arm. “That wasn’t a hint. I’ll get it myself. Do you want anything?”
He shook his head.
I made my way over to the bar, where I stood at the end of a very long line. I wished there was an express line. All I wanted was a diet soda.
Wannabe Bride’s date was near the front of the line, sans jacket and tie, his collar undone, but she was nowhere in sight. He ordered two beers and a glass of wine. After receiving his drinks, he stood to the side of the bar and drained one of the beers. Then he walked off, beer and wine in hand, presumably to return to Wannabe Bride.
Fun times.
As the line inched forward, I glanced around the room. In the far corner was a table of guys who were about my age. I peered closer. One of them looked familiar. Very familiar.
Oh, shit.
What the hell was he doing here?
Eddie had lived down the street from Tyler. They’d been friends since kindergarten. But here’s the thing—Eddie was an asshole. Tyler would always laugh off his asshole antics because they’d been friends for so long. But me? Not so much. Eddie and I weren’t exactly friends. I couldn’t get past the whole asshole part of his personality, even if he and Tyler were tight.
His gaze swung in my direction, and I ducked behind the linebacker-esque man in front of me. I counted to twenty and then peeked out.
I hadn’t seen Eddie since the funeral, where he’d been a blubbering mess. Most of Tyler’s guy friends had kept it together, but Eddie had broken down and sobbed like a baby. It was the one time since I’d known him that I actually felt anything other than contempt for him.
The man in front of me stepped away without warning, and I was left without cover. In that split second, Eddie’s eyes met mine. His smile faded. Tightening his tie, he rose.
I had a split-second decision to make—stay and face him or run away? I only hesitated about half a second.
Then I turned on my heel and darted through the crowd.
When I arrived at my table, I was out of breath.
“Did you change your mind?” Luke asked.
“Huh?” I answered, busily scanning the room for Eddie. When I didn’t see him, I sank into my chair.
Luke gave me a strange look. “Your drink?”
“Oh, yeah…that. The, uh, line was too long.”
Luke shook his head slightly, the way men did when women did something they didn’t understand, but they knew better than to question it.
“Do you want to get out of here?” I asked.
“I thought you wanted to wait for the bouquet and the cake.” He paused, taking in the way I was anxiously toying with my silver necklace, my eyes darting around.
“Yes… No… I mean—” I stopped suddenly. Eddie was standing several tables over, and he was obviously looking for me.
I put my elbow on the table, turned toward Luke, and used my hand to shield my face.
“You’re being weird,” Luke said, only this time he wasn’t smiling when he said it.
“I’m just ready to go.”
Luke gave me one last you’ve gone off the deep end look and scooted out his chair. As he did, the DJ called for all the single girls to join him on the dance floor for the throwing of the bouquet.
Luke settled back in his chair. Shit. We would have to wait until this was over to leave.
I peeked around my hand to see Eddie staring aimlessly around the room. He took a few steps in the direction of his table and I sighed with relief. It was going to be okay. Crisis averted.
Behind me a glass shattered loudly. In her efforts to make it to the dance floor for the bouquet throwing, Wannabe Bride had steamrolled a member of the waitstaff, causing him to drop his tray. It didn’t even slow her down. She was one determined chick.
When I turned back around, I found that the incident had caught the attention of almost everyone on our side of the room.
Including Eddie.
His eyes met mine, and as he slowly took in the situation—Luke sitting with his arm around the back of my chair—his neutral expression turned dark, menacing. There was the Eddie I knew and loved.
He strode in my direction.
I jumped up and headed toward him to cut him off.
“Eddie, hi,” I sputtered.
He looked at me with a snarl on his face, then leaned in so he wouldn’t be overheard. “You’re a real bitch, you know that?”
I took a step back. How did I even reply to that?
“It didn’t take you long to replace Tyler.”
I shook my head. “That’s not fair. I didn’t replace him.” Then quietly, “I loved him.”
“Bullshit.” He practically spat the word. A few guests around us looked up sharply. When he leaned in and quietly repeated himself, my senses were assaulted by the foul fumes of alcohol on his breath. Eddie being drunk could quickly cause the situation to escalate from bad to worse.
“You don’t know what went on between us.”
“I know you were the last one to talk to him before he drove himself into a tree. What did you say to him?”
“Nothing.” I choked on the word.
He took a step toward me. I took another step back.
“Liar.” Fury filled his face.
“You’re obviously upset,” I said, my voice expressing a calmness I did not feel. “Why don’t you call me later when you’ve calmed down and we can talk?”
He clenched his fists at his sides. “You killed him, you fucking bitch.”
I gasped. The room faded away, and all I could see was the darkness of his eyes, fury mixed with raw pain.
You killed him.
Oh, God. It felt like a thousand knives were piercing my heart.
Eddie’s an asshole, a drunk asshole, I told myself, but his words still echoed in my mind—words I had been thinking, but had never given voice to.
I killed him.
His friends came up behind him then and pulled him away, leaving me standing there, tears starting to blur my vision.
Luke walked up seconds later.
His face was tight, his body tense. “Who was that guy?”
Letting Go Page 20