by Sara Cate
“I… yes. I’m sorry. That was… God, I’m so embarrassed. I’m sorry.”
I smile at her, enjoying that sheepish expression on her face. She’s cute. I can’t remember the last time I thought a woman was cute.
“I am,” I tell her. “I am interested in you, but I’ll never you hurt you, Alanna. Not unless you ask me to.” I smirk at her, enjoying the way her cheeks turn redder still. “And when I take you, it won’t be without your consent — you’ll be begging me for it.”
I turn and walk away, leaving her staring after me. This isn’t how I expected that conversation to go, but hell… when do things ever go to plan with Alanna?
Chapter 3
Alanna
* * *
“You look beautiful tonight,” Ryan says, his eyes lingering on my chest. “Don’t be nervous, okay? You’ll do great.”
I look up at him and smile tightly. I should be nervous about meeting Ryan’s family, but instead I’m still thinking about Simon. That look in his eyes… what was that?
I bite down on my lip, my stomach twisting with both nerves and anxiety. The things he said… I should be scared, but I’m not. There’s something about him that I can’t quite place.
“Hey,” Ryan says, his arm wrapping around me. “You aren’t still worried about that weirdo from the coffee shop, are you? I’ll take care of him, I promise.”
I shake my head, my anxiety turning to dread. I never should’ve told Ryan what happened. I just couldn’t help myself. That entire exchange with Simon just felt so… sinful. I know I did nothing wrong, but somehow I felt like I did, like hiding what happened would be wrong.
“No, that’s not it,” I lie. “I’m just nervous about meeting your family.” I’m not a total lie. I truly am nervous about meeting them. I know next to nothing about the Sinclairs. I know they come from old money, but googling them mostly resulted in investment reports and financial news. There was no tabloid news. Nothing to tell me who they are.
“It’s just my brother and my mother tonight, sweetheart. You’ll do great.”
I nod and stare at myself in the mirror. I’m wearing a dress I can barely afford, and I’m worried I look as uncomfortable in it as I feel.
“You look like you might actually be even more nervous than I am,” I murmur.
Ryan looks away and sighs. “I am. My brother and I… we aren’t close. We haven’t really spoken in years, and we’re only just getting to know each other again.”
I frown, confused. “You never told me that. In fact, you never really talk about your family at all.” I haven’t dared to ask, because I don’t want to seem like I’m prying. I’m scared asking too many questions will make him think I’m after him for who his family is, but I’m also scared of saying the wrong thing tonight simply because I don’t know enough about the Sinclairs.
Ryan stares at me and runs his hands down my shoulders, nodding. “Well… it’s complicated. My brother, Silas… he’s my half-brother. Our father passed away when we were young, and he left home at eighteen. He kind of fell off the grid until recently. I missed him, you know? I want us to be close again, like we were when I was younger. Tonight means everything to me. We only really have dinner together every few months.”
I bite down on my lip, worried. “Are you sure I should be there tonight? It sounds like it’s a family occasion.”
Ryan lifts his hand to my face and strokes the back of his hand across my cheek. The move has a tremor running down my spine. Simon touched me in the exact same way, but his hands were bigger, rougher… and when he looked at me, it truly was like I was all I could see. Ryan isn’t even looking at me. He’s lost in thought — he always is.
“Of course you should be there. You’re bound to become part of our family, and my brother is going to love you.”
My eyes widen and Ryan smiles. We’ve only been together for a few months, and marriage hasn’t even been on my mind yet. To have him mentioning it so casually… that’s pretty special.
“He’s a lot like you,” Ryan says, a sad smile on his face. “He cares about giving back to the community, and he does a lot of volunteer work like you do. You two will get along great. Having you around will break the tension.”
I smile nervously, the pressure weighing down on me. I can’t shake that nervousness as Ryan leads me to his car, and I’m anxious as I get in. Ryan loves this car, and every single time he picks me up, I’m scared I’ll damage it somehow. There’s no way I could afford repairs on a car like that.
“Hey,” he says as he places his hand on my thigh. “Relax, okay? It’ll be fun tonight. The food will be good, and my family will love you.”
I nod, trying my best to control my breathing. I feel so out of place. I feel like a fraud, and at any second Ryan is going to realize that I don’t belong in his world, that he can’t introduce me to his family after all.
My anxiety only increases when a large iron gate swings open to reveal an actual mansion. The house makes me feel the same way this car does. Inadequate. Out of place.
I’m only barely keeping myself from shaking by the time we reach the front door and I glance at Ryan for support, but his attention isn’t on me. He’s staring up at the house with an expression I’ve never seen before… almost like a mixture of longing and contempt.
I follow him through the house quietly, my heels clicking loudly on the marble floors. Somehow that just adds to my embarrassment, even though I can’t help it.
“Mother,” Ryan says as he walks into what appears to be the dining room. “I didn’t realize you were here already.”
I take in the long table and the woman sitting at the head of it. She’s beautiful, her eyes the same hazel brown color as Ryan’s. She stands to kiss Ryan on the cheek before turning to me.
“You must be Alanna.”
I nod as I walk up to her, hesitating. I’m not sure how to greet her, but thankfully she takes the decision out of my hands by wrapping me in a brief firm hug.
“I’m Mona,” she tells me. “It’s great to finally meet the woman that has my little boy so smitten. Ryan won’t shut up about you.”
I smile and breathe a sigh of relief. “It’s lovely to meet you too.” She’s nice. It seems like I was worried about nothing. Maybe tonight won’t be so bad after all.
Mona’s eyes widen, an excited glint in her gaze. “Oh, Silas! There you are, darling.”
I tense. Silas Sinclair. Ryan’s older brother and the CEO of the country’s largest security firm. He’s a man shrouded in secrecy, allegedly one of the most dangerous people in the city. I’m nervous as I turn around to greet him.
My heart skips a beat when I look into his emerald green eyes, the same eyes I haven’t stopped thinking about since earlier today.
“Simon?” I whisper.
Chapter 4
Alanna
* * *
He smiles at me and offers me his hand. I’m trembling as I place my hand in his.
“Silas,” he says, correcting me. “You must be Alanna. I’ve heard so much about you.”
I stare at him in disbelief. Just today, he told me his name was Simon. Did he do that on purpose? Was he watching me because I’m dating his brother?
My cheeks fill with shame once more. To think I actually believed he was hitting on me, when all he was doing was looking out for his brother. Was he provoking me to see if I’d betray Ryan?
He shakes my hand, a polite smile on his face. I can’t tell what’s going on. Why is he pretending not to know me? I’m not sure if I’m supposed to play along or not. Is this a test?
Before I can make up my mind, he lets go of my hand and walks toward the dining table, a frown on his face.
“That’s not my seat,” he tells one of the uniformed maids in the corner. She looks up at him with wide eyes and nods before rushing forward to rearrange the table setting, placing him at the head of the table instead.
Mona and Ryan both tense, and I can’t quite figure out what’s going on.
I expected to feel out of place, but this… this is different.
We’re all quiet as we take our seats, Silas at the head of the table with Ryan and me closest to him. The setup leaves Mona sitting a little isolated with no one opposite her. I guess Silas is more traditional than I expected.
I can’t help but think back to our conversation. The more I think about it, the more embarrassed I am. To think I threatened him… he’s Silas Sinclair. I can only hope he found it amusing and won’t hold it against me.
“So, Alanna,” he says. My eyes snap up to his, and I pray my nerves aren’t as obvious as I think they are. “How did you and my brother meet?”
“I… I…” I stammer, my mind suddenly blank. I’m beyond nervous and a little scared that he’ll bring up our conversation today. I’m mortified and terrified I’ll just make things worse.
Ryan wraps his arm around my shoulder and pulls me closer. “We met at the beach. I’d volunteered to gather plastic, and there she was. I’m not sure what I did to deserve Alanna, but I’m grateful she gave me a chance that day.”
Silas isn’t looking at his brother. No, he’s looking at me. “I see,” he says, his gaze unreadable. “So tell me about you, then. I’m curious about the girl that tamed my wild little brother. What do you study? What are your plans for the future? I assume you have plans… or were you planning on letting my brother provide for you?”
I freeze, deeply insulted… but there’s pain there too. His words hurt, and I can’t even pinpoint why. I should be used to this by now, after all.
“I study Computer Science,” I say, my voice wavering. “I’m nearly done and I’m interviewing for graduate jobs right now.”
The way he looks at me makes me uncomfortable. He looks mad, but I’ve barely said anything. He can’t still be mad about what I said earlier, can he?
I breathe a sigh of relief when he nods and shifts his gaze to Ryan. My thoughts are all over the place, and I wish I could just sink through the floor and disappear. I expected dinner to be awkward, but this is on another level.
“I meant to ask you a favor,” Ryan says. “Some guy harassed Alanna today. She was so rattled. She was barely coherent when she called me.”
The blood drains from my face as I stare down at my plate. This can’t be happening.
“Is that so, Alanna?” Silas says, his voice tinged with amusement. “What did that guy say to you?”
His words reverberate through my mind, heightening my embarrassment. When I take you, it won’t be without your consent. You’ll be begging me for it.
My cheeks are burning as I look up at him. “It was nothing, really,” I murmur, my voice barely above a whisper. That look in his eyes… he’s enjoying my torment, isn’t he?
Silas grins at me. “That bad, huh? What should I do to the poor sucker? Should I make him disappear?”
I bite down on my lip and tear my eyes away. He’s definitely mocking me. What would Ryan think if he found out that the person I’d been complaining about was Silas?
“I… um, excuse me.” I rise from my seat in a rush, needing a moment to compose myself.
I freeze when Silas rises too. “I’ll show you the way.” He gestures toward the large doors and walks away before I can decline. I follow him reluctantly, my heart hammering loudly in my chest.
By the time the dining room doors close behind us I’m certain I can hear my heartbeat thrumming in my ears. I don’t remember the last time I was this nervous.
I almost run into him when he pauses abruptly in the middle of the hallway. He turns around to face me, and I take a step back.
“Break up with him,” he orders, his eyes flashing with an intensity that takes my breath away.
“What?”
Silas takes a step closer to me and places his index finger underneath my chin, tilting my face up toward his. “You heard me, Alanna. Break up with him.”
Pure devastation rushes through me, rendering me mute. I expected Ryan’s family to find me lacking, but this? I didn’t expect this.
I start to tremble and try my hardest to keep my tears from forming. I’m so tired of always feeling like I’m not good enough. All my life I’ve felt like a stranger looking in from the outside, until Ryan. To know that those closest to him don’t want me with him… it hurts. It kills me, because I know Ryan will always choose his brother over me. I see the admiration in his eyes, the regret in his voice when he talks about Silas.
Silas takes a step closer to me and tightens his grip on my chin, our bodies brushing against each other. “Break up with him while I’m still giving you a choice.”
Silas walks away, leaving me staring after him once again. What just happened?
How do I even tell Ryan what his brother just said to me? He’ll never believe me… and something tells me that Silas meant what he said.
He doesn’t want me with Ryan... and I have a feeling that Silas always gets what he wants.
Chapter 5
Alanna
* * *
I stare up at the entwined double S on the building in front of me, wondering whether I should just walk away. I was so excited about this interview just a few weeks ago. The idea of working with Ryan at his family’s company was amazing.
Now? Now I’m second-guessing myself. I’ve embarrassed myself in front of Silas enough now. The last thing I want to do is run into him again.
Not that I would. The building has twenty-seven floors. Surely the CEO doesn’t sit in on graduate interviews.
I take a deep breath and force myself to walk into the building. I’d be crazy not to attend this interview just on the off chance I might run into Silas. Besides, Sinclair Security is my dream company. I’ve wanted to work for them long before I even met Ryan.
“Good morning, Ms. Jones,” the receptionist says before I can even tell her what I’m here for. My eyes widen, a thrill running down my spine. I’ve heard rumors about the staff here. They’re what I always imagined the FBI would be like — except privatized.
I look around for a name card, but there isn’t one. I nod politely, wondering whether this is a test. Should I have known her name too?
She smiles as though she can read my mind. “I’m Amy, and I’d honestly be quite upset if you knew that, because it’d mean I wasn’t doing my job.” She winks at me as she rises from her seat and guides me toward the elevators.
Her kind smile puts me at ease and I listen attentively as she tells me about the security measures in place at the elevator. “Fingerprint scans are sufficient for the lower floors, but any floor above fourteen requires a retinal scan,” she says as she leans into the scanner.
I only barely manage to contain my excitement. I knew Sinclair Security was high tech, but this is better than I even imagined. Amy presses the button for the top floor, and I blink in surprise as unease washes over me.
The top floor for graduate interviews… surely not. My suspicions are confirmed when she leads me through the quiet floor, until we’re standing in front of a corner office — one fit for a CEO.
“You’ll do great,” she tells me as she knocks on the door. “I have no doubt that we’ll be working together soon.”
She opens the door and takes a step back to let me pass. I hesitate, taking a moment to gather my courage and push down the dread that threatens to overwhelm me.
My stride is confident as I walk into the office, finding Silas sitting behind a large black desk. He looks up and smiles politely, his expression completely professional.
I’m nervous as I sit down opposite him, but I’d like to think I managed to keep my cool.
Silas glances at a document in front of him, and I quickly realize that it’s my résumé. “Tell me, why do you think you’d be a good fit for Sinclair Security.”
I stare at him in surprise. Is he serious? He can’t seriously be conducting my interview himself, can he? I force myself to get it together and answer the question the way I practiced.
“I… I’ve followed the growth
of Sinclair Security for years now. I’m aware you started with bodyguard services and ended up growing this business to encompass security of all types, including cybersecurity. The research you do and the company’s trajectory is astonishing. I think Sinclair Security will become even more of a powerhouse than it currently is, and I’d love to be part of it.”
It’s true. I truly admire this company and all he’s done with it. It might be near impossible to find information on him online, but I hear the rumors from the industry experts I know. This company is astonishing and barely anyone even knows it even exists. Much to my relief, the interview proceeds in the same fashion, with Silas asking questions I’ve prepared for. For just a few minutes, he makes it easy to forget everything else.
Just when I think I’m in the clear, Silas drops his pen on top of my résumé and stares me down. “Have wanted to work here since before you met Ryan?”
The personal question throws me off. He’s been so professional since I walked in here that he made it easy to forget what he told me. If he doesn’t think I’m good enough to be with his brother, why would he think I’m good enough for his company?
“That’s right,” I tell him, unsure what else to say.
Silas nods. “So you don’t solely want to work here so you get to be with Ryan?”
I grit my teeth in annoyance. I hate this. I hate that so many people assume I’d be nothing without him, that I’ll follow wherever he goes. Ryan is a great guy and I do see a future with him, but that doesn’t mean I’ll forget about my own plans and goals.
“No,” I say, my voice deceptively sweet. Silas Sinclair. I wish I could throw something at him and walk out of his stupid office, but I want this job too badly.
He stares at me, an irritating smile on his face, and it becomes harder to resist temptation. I want to walk away and slam his door as loudly as I can, preferably in his stupid face. Instead, I smile back at him.