by Sara Cate
He turns his laptop to me, his gaze unreadable once again. “Crack this, and you’re hired. I want the password to this email address within ten minutes.”
I glance at the piece of paper he hands me and frown. [email protected]? He’s asking me to crack his own email address? I bite down on my lip, unsure if he’s giving me a near impossible task just to keep me from joining his firm. The man is an enigma.
“Have you asked this of all applicants?”
Silas smiles. “Yes.”
“Has anyone managed it yet?”
He nods. “One person.”
I breathe a sigh of relief. If it’s possible, then I can do it too.
“Do you interview all applicants yourself?”
He smirks. “Why? Did you think you were special?”
This man. Why does he always get under my skin? Why can’t he just be sweet and kind like Ryan is? The two of them couldn’t be more different.
I grit my teeth and start to type, channeling all my annoyance into my work. This is the one thing I’m good at. I might fail at most things in life, but when it comes to security testing, I never fail.
My heart races as I type and I barely keep from smiling. This doesn’t even feel like work. I could do this all day, just for the hell of it. I love the thrill.
Ten minutes. That’s all the time it takes me. I smirk when Silas’s password is revealed, only for that smile to melt off my face when I realize what it is. Adastraperaspera. Ad astra per aspera. Through adversity to the stars. It’s the exact same phrase I have tattooed on my rib. How could it be?
I swallow hard as I look up at him, slowly turning his laptop back to him. Silas… there’s no way he could’ve known. Is he mocking me somehow? Did Ryan tell him about my tattoo?
He stares at me, and I wish I could read him. I want to know what he’s thinking. I want to know the story behind his password. Is it all just to throw me off, or is there more to it?
“You’re hired,” he says, his voice soft.
I nod, my thoughts whirling. “I… thank you, Silas.” I hesitate before asking a question I know I shouldn’t ask. “You aren’t going to make me breaking up with Ryan a requirement for hiring me?”
He looks at me, his expression entirely blank. “No,” he says, sounding… tired. “I keep my personal life and my business strictly separate. I expect you to do the same if you wish to succeed here. This isn’t an easy firm to be at. The initial training is ruthless, especially for the IT staff. Amy will go through your contract with you, and she’ll inform you of the training schedule.”
My cheeks heat in embarrassment. I shouldn’t have asked. All I accomplished was making myself look unprofessional. Why is it that I constantly feel unlike myself when I’m around Silas?
“Of course,” I nod, rising from my seat. I need to get out of here before I make an even bigger fool of myself.
“I’ll see you on Monday. Congratulations.”
I turn back to him when I reach his door. “See you on Monday,” I say, praying to God that I won’t. With a bit of luck, I’ll be able to avoid him at work just fine. Luck… yeah right. When has Lady Luck every smiled down on me?
Chapter 6
Alanna
* * *
I’m giddy with excitement as I walk up to Ryan’s apartment, my set of keys in hand. He gave them to me last week, and today seems like a great first time to use them. I can’t wait to tell him the good news. The two of us working together is a dream come true.
I’m surprised when I walk in to find the lights dimmed and loud rap music playing. Ryan never listens to this kind of stuff. He’s the one that taught me all about classical music. My gaze trails over the packed living room and I pause in confusion. What the hell? Ryan hates partying. He’s a loner, like I am. Why would he be throwing a party without even inviting me?
I walk through the crowd of dancing people, not a single person I know in sight. Who are these people? I breathe a sigh of relief when I spot Ryan standing on the balcony with some guys I vaguely recognize. I’ve only ever met them briefly, but I believe the one standing next to him is his childhood friend.
I’m about to walk out there when I hear my name being mentioned. Something about the way Ryan’s friend said my name has me pausing, my instincts alerting me that something is… off. I lean back out of view and listen, curiosity getting the better of me.
“How much longer are you going to date Alanna? She’s fucking beneath you. I get secondhand embarrassment just watching you with her.”
I expected Ryan to snap at his friend, but instead he just laughs. “I have to keep playing this game a bit longer. My brother would never believe I changed otherwise. He’ll believe she caused the change. She’s everything that asshole loves. The fucking charity bullshit, the vanilla everything. I swear, the way she fucking kisses is boring as fuck. The sex is even worse. I’ve got her believing I want her so much that I can’t last more than a minute with her, but honestly, I just can’t stand fucking her for longer than that. She’s so goddamn boring. The only reason I can get it up at all is because she’s hiding a hot little body underneath all those goddamn oversized layers she wears.”
His friends all laugh, the sound in sharp contrast with the pain in my chest. He’s dating me as a front? To make Silas believe he isn’t the playboy everyone has been warning me he is? I swallow down the sob that threatens to rise up my throat and squeeze my eyes closed. It can’t be. I must have misheard it. Ryan… he loved going to game night at our local senior complex last week. It’s he who suggested that we gather plastic on the beach. He’s the one that’s constantly suggesting ways for us to give back to the community.
I think back to our relationship, wondering what was real, and what wasn’t. Even the music in this place isn’t something I thought he enjoyed. If something as simple as his music taste was fake, then what else was?
“If she’s everything your brother wants, why not just give her to him? That’s bound to get you in his good graces.”
I jump when I hear glass shattering. I turn to peek outside, finding large shards right next to Ryan’s shoes. He’s staring his friend down, his expression terrifying. I’ve never seen him like this. He’s nothing like the sweet man I know.
“Fuck no. That bastard took everything from us. He gained control over all the Sinclair assets to the point that I have to beg him for a fucking job. I’m not giving him anything else. He can’t have her. Never her. I’m never letting anything that’s mine fall into his hands again. Nah. I’m going to use Alanna to gain his trust. Behind that rough exterior, he’s still the same guy I grew up with. He puts family above all else. Once I’m in, I’m taking back everything we lost, starting with our fucking house. I can’t wait to throw him out the way he did my mother and me. That asshole is going to pay.”
I’m shaking so hard I’m certain someone is about to notice me and ask if I’m okay, betraying my presence. My thoughts are whirling, and I’m barely able to comprehend what I’m hearing. He’s using me? I’m just a way to improve his damn image? I should’ve known. I should’ve believed everyone that warned me, everyone that told me that guys like Ryan don’t date girls like me. I wanted to feel loved so badly that I ignored the warning bells.
I can’t tell if I’m more angry or hurt. I’m mad at myself for being so blind, for truly believing someone could want me the way Ryan pretended to. By the time I walk out the door, my pain has given way to blinding fury.
That fucking asshole.
I gave him everything. All those evenings we stayed up together, the long talks, the dates. Was all of it fake? How much of the man I thought I knew was even real? To think he couldn’t even bear touching me… I can’t believe he faked it. At least I now no longer have to feel bad for never enjoying the sex.
I pause in the middle of the street, my eyes dropping to Ryan’s beloved car. Out of everything he showed me, his love for this stupid car was definitely real.
I glance at the keys in my hand a
nd back at his car. Before I realize what I’m doing, I’m digging his house keys into the side of car, ruining what I’m sure is an expensive paint job. I take my time spelling out A S S H O L E, but it does nothing to ease my anger.
He used me. He took my love for my community and used it as a fucking PR stunt. He led me on, talking about how I belong in his family, making me think he was serious about me, when all along it was all a game to him.
I turn around, in search of something to throw at his car. I narrow my eyes when I find a couple of decently large rocks near the trees. I grab them and walk back, hesitating for a split second before throwing one of the rocks straight through his window. The glass shatters beautifully, damaging his leather seats, and I smile. It doesn’t make up for the pain he put me through, but it’s a start.
I lean into the car, digging my keys into the leather headrest, keying M I C R O D I C K and M I N U T E M A N into it. I can’t believe I suffered through shit sex over that asshole. I can’t believe I spent so much of my time with him. I ignored well-meant warnings because of him, alienating some of my closest friends. He played his part so well that I was none the wiser. If I hadn’t overhead him tonight, then what? Would he have wasted more of my time? How much of my life did he intend to sacrifice for his selfish petty goals? For the first time in years, I felt like I belonged with someone, and it was all fake.
I wipe away the tears I hadn’t even realized had fallen and kick his car as hard as I can, denting it. I want him to find his car tomorrow and feel at least a bit of the pain he’s put me through. He clearly doesn’t care about me, but this car? This will hurt him.
“Microdick? Nice.”
I whirl around in shock. “Silas.”
I didn’t hear him approach. The streets have been eerily silent. The only thing disturbing the peace was the sound of me damaging Ryan’s car.
I drop the keys in my hand, my face draining of color. Fuck. What have I done? I can’t afford repairs on this car. What was I thinking? A fresh wave of panic overwhelms me, and I try my hardest to keep from shaking.
Silas stares at me, his expression calm. His attention isn’t on the car. It’s on me. “What happened?” he asks.
I open my mouth to answer, but the words won’t come. How do I tell him that Ryan was using me? It’s hard enough for me to come to terms with it myself. Admitting it to someone, to Silas, that’s beyond me right now.
He sighs and walks up to me, pausing right in front of me. He places his hands on my cheeks and swipes at my tears with his thumbs. “He hurt you.”
I nod, my eyes falling closed as another fresh wave of tears falls from my eyes. Silas catches them all, his touch gentle.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I… I wasn’t thinking. I’ll get the car repaired, I promise. Please don’t report me to the police,” I beg.
Silas chuckles and brushes my hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ear instead. “This isn’t what I expected to find when the car’s silent alarm went off,” he says. “I’m impressed. You did quite a bit of damage in the few minutes it took me to get here.”
Silent alarm. Of course. Why didn’t I think of that? I must’ve truly lost my mind. I’m done for. I’m going to be in debt for the rest of my life, and it wouldn’t surprise me if Silas decides not to hire me anymore.
I bite down on my lip harshly. What did I do? I let Ryan use me for months, and right till the end I’m the one that suffers most. I put my own future at stake and he isn’t even worth it. I swallow down a sob and squeeze my eyes closed. Years of hard work, all gone because I couldn’t control my pain.
Silas sighs and takes a step closer to me. Before I realize what’s happening, he’s got his arms wrapped around me. He hugs me tightly, and I burst into tears while he just stands there, stroking my hair with one hand and keeping the other wrapped tightly around me.
“What happened, sweetheart? What did he do?”
I shake my head and hug him back, squeezing him tightly, as though holding onto him will keep me from falling apart.
“I’ll get the car fixed,” I murmur. “Don’t fire me, please. I swear I’m not usually like this.”
Silas chuckles and holds me tighter. “Fuck the car,” he says. “It’s mine anyway. It’s not his. Don’t worry about it.”
I pull back to look at him in surprise, and he smiles. “Oh God,” I whisper. “It’s not Ryan’s?”
Silas smirks and shakes his head. “I loaned it to him because he loved it so much.”
His words bring fresh tears to my eyes. I damaged a car that isn’t even Ryan’s. The small amount of vindication it gave me drains away, leaving me feeling empty, deprived of my revenge and heartbroken in more ways than one.
Ryan’s words run through my mind, filling me with fresh contempt. He can’t have her. Never her. I swallow hard, my eyes running over Silas. “I’ll repay you,” I tell him. “Right now.” He frowns, and I smile bitterly. “Silas, I’m ready to beg for it.”
Chapter 7
Silas
* * *
“Silas, I’m ready to beg for it,” she says, a vindictive glint in her eyes. Her eyes are roaming over my body, but it’s not me she’s seeing. What she sees is an opportunity for revenge.
What the fuck did Ryan do to her? I’ve never seen her look this distraught, this hurt. “Did you break up with him?”
She looks up at me, surprised. “We’re done,” she says, her voice soft. I’m relieved at the lack of heartbreak in her eyes. She seems angry and hurt, but not heartbroken. The thought of her dating my brother was painful enough, but the idea of her becoming my sister-in-law? Fuck that.
“Does he know that?”
She shakes her head and grabs her phone. “No, but he’s about to find out.”
I watch her as she texts him, breaking up with him over a text message. Damn. He really fucked up, huh? I should feel sorry for him, but all I feel is relief.
She smiles as she puts her phone away and takes a step closer to me. I won’t even pretend to lie to myself. I want her. I always want her.
All I could think about when she interviewed with me was what it’s be like to work with her, to steal a kiss from her here and there. I imagined her in a sexy skirt, her legs spread on my desk. I’ve wanted her from the moment I found her.
But not like this.
“Come on,” I tell her. “Let me take you home.”
She blinks in confusion, and I watch her emotions and thoughts dance in those beautiful eyes of hers. “I… how about we go to your place instead?” she says. Her sweet smile is in contrast with the calculative look in her eyes, and something about it breaks my heart. When I eventually fuck her, I don’t want her to be thinking about Ryan, and tonight he’s all that’s on her mind.
“No,” I tell her, and the devastation in her eyes nearly wrecks me. She wraps her arms around herself, and it’s not hard for me to guess what she’s thinking. The sting of rejection is clear in her demeanor.
“I see,” she says, her voice shaky. She looks down at the floor and takes a step back. It only takes her a second to paste a smile on her face, and then she nods at me politely. “You don’t need to take me home, but thank you for offering. I think I’ll head back inside.”
I cross my arms and stare her down. “And do what, exactly?”
She grins. “Find one of Ryan’s childhood friends to spend the night with,” she says, shrugging. “Before the night is over, I’ll have hurt him in the best way I can, with or without you.”
This woman… she makes my fucking blood boil. “Like hell you are.” I grab her wrist and pull her along. She resists, but there’s no fucking way she’s going back in there. “You want to fuck the pain away tonight, baby? Fine — but you won’t be doing it with anyone but me.”
She’s still the same fucking psycho with a heart of gold that I used to know. Once she’s set her mind on something, there’s no talking her out of it. This isn’t how I imagined being with her, but fuck it. If it’s Alanna
, I’ll take what I can get.
She’s quiet as I drive us to my home, parking into the elevator that takes us straight up to my penthouse. I glance at her, wondering if she’s changed her mind, but the glint in her eyes tells me she hasn’t.
I step out of the car and walk around it to open the door for her. She takes my hand, and when her eyes meet mine, I smile. I’ve missed her, and having her here in my home is a bit of a dream come true.
“This… this is your house?” she asks, her voice filled with disbelief. I smile at her and nod. “This is my home. The house you came to for dinner is my family home. It’s where I grew up and where I might eventually live when I settle down, but this is where I live on a day-to-day basis.”
She nods and looks around, taking in all the glass and the beautiful skyline. The view is the main reason I bought this place, and I have a feeling she appreciates is as much as I do.
“Wow,” she whispers, and I grin. I walk over to the kitchen and grab a bottle from the wine fridge, pouring both of us a glass. It’s strange having her here. I never invite people here. I don’t even know what possessed me to bring her here. This place is my sanctuary, and it’s filled with confidential client information. I’ve never brought a woman here, but then again, Alanna is different.
I hand her a glass and she takes it with shaking hands. “Changed your mind?” I ask, wanting to tease her.
She looks at me, her eyes slowly roaming over my body before moving back up. “No,” she says, placing her glass on the counter. She takes a step forward, pausing in front of me. I tense when she places her hand on my chest and slides it up until she’s got it wrapped around the back of my neck. “Did you?”
I smile and tilt my face toward hers. “What will you do if I say that I changed my mind?”
She grins and rises to her tiptoes. “I’ll just have to seduce you,” she whispers, her lips brushing over mine.