Until You Loved Me--A Novel

by Brenda Novak

  Perhaps that was a bit extreme, but Julia should at least have gotten the year right.

  Or maybe not. Everyone was different.

  Ellie hurried back to the dining room as soon as Hudson kissed her goodbye. She was surprised by how many people she came across in that file—not only the people who lived in the neighborhood but all their extended family and friends and the hired help. Out of all the possibilities, why did Hudson’s father have to be Cort Matisson?

  With a sigh, Ellie returned to the statement given by the pizza deliveryman—a Stan Hinkle. He said he heard a faint cry and went to investigate. That was how he’d discovered Hudson. But Ellie wasn’t sure how he could’ve heard a baby cry from two houses down. Perhaps two houses didn’t sound like much in a regular neighborhood, but in Bel Air the houses were pretty far apart.

  She called up Google Earth to take a look.

  It was quite a distance, all right.

  Unable to resist, Ellie called Hudson. “Do you stay in touch with the pizza deliveryman who found you?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “I don’t know. He was only twenty-four at the time. Turned me over to the state and that was it.”

  “But he saved your life. You’d think he’d show some interest, even if it’s just a Christmas card once a year.”

  “Never heard from him, but that isn’t so unusual. Maybe he was afraid he’d feel obligated to do more for me than he wanted. Not many people took an interest—until I proved I could play football.”

  Once again, her eyes skimmed over Hinkle’s interview. “Has he contacted you since you became famous?”

  “No. I’ll admit I’ve wondered why he hasn’t at least hit me up for tickets. I’d certainly give him some. Why?”

  “Just curious,” she said. But if the DNA test Hudson had taken didn’t match Cort’s, she was going to do a little more research on Hinkle.

  Ellie’s phone beeped to signal that she had an incoming call. She thought it might be her parents. Her mother was having a more difficult time forgiving her for not telling them about the pregnancy than her father. Ellie was still working on calming her down and making that okay, so she wanted to answer if it was her mother. Her parents were cutting their trip short, but only by a few months, so at least she’d succeeded in not ruining their entire year.

  Caller ID indicated it was Amy, and Ellie wanted to talk to her. “Okay. Enjoy dinner with Bruiser.”

  “I miss you already,” he said.

  Surprised, she hesitated. He’d been so busy rejecting almost everyone that he’d starved himself of love. He needed her—needed someone. But she couldn’t possibly know if he’d ever love her as much as she was coming to love him. “I’ll drive to LA after my doctor’s appointment. Maybe it’ll be easier for you if we wait for the results of the DNA test at your house there. More distractions,” she added.

  “No. I’ll come back to Silver Springs. LA was great when I was younger. But now that we’re having a baby, Silver Springs feels more like home.”

  Fear that Hudson wouldn’t be able to commit to their relationship as it progressed made Ellie wonder if, at some point, she’d regret letting go enough to reach for him. She’d once thought he was unattainable. Now that he was so responsive, she wanted to believe she’d been wrong about that, but only time would tell. “Then I’ll be here waiting for you.”

  When they disconnected, Amy had hung up, but Ellie called her back.

  “How’s the pregnancy going?” Amy asked. “You haven’t sent me your weekly pic.”

  “I’m getting bigger every day.” Ellie stood sideways to get a new selfie that included her stomach and texted the photo to Amy.

  “Nice,” Amy said when it arrived. “I can finally see a baby bump. A little one, mind you...”

  Ellie thought of the way Hudson touched her belly, so possessively and lovingly. “It’s not small anymore, but thanks for trying to make me feel good.”

  “That’s what friends are for,” Amy said. “How’s the famous athlete?”

  He’d been better. Ellie wished she could discuss what they were going through, but she knew Hudson wouldn’t appreciate it if she did. He was so private to begin with—and, understandably, he didn’t want anyone to know about Cort Matisson. “He’s doing well.” She toyed with the ends of her hair. “Just told me he missed me, and he hasn’t been gone an hour.”

  “Whoa. That says a lot.”

  Since he wasn’t all that vocal, Ellie wanted to believe it did. But was she deluding herself? “I’m scared, Amy.”

  “Of what?”

  “Of how strongly I feel about him.”

  There was a slight pause. “Sounds like you’ve fallen for him.”

  “I’m not sleeping alone anymore, I can tell you that.”

  “You’re not?”

  “No. He asked me to move all my stuff into his room this morning. I can’t stop myself from loving him, not when he’s always touching me, kissing me or making me laugh. I can’t get enough of Hudson King, and that makes me feel so darn vulnerable.”

  “Don’t freak out,” Amy said. “Everything’s going to be okay. You’re just emotional because of the pregnancy hormones.”

  Ellie sat down and rested her head on the back of her chair. She wished that was all it was, but she had a feeling it had everything to do with Hudson. “I hope you’re right.”

  “So do I,” she said. “What happened to being cautious?”

  “I can’t be cautious and still give him what he needs.”

  “What he needs? Doesn’t look like he needs anything.”

  “He’s human, Amy. He has the same needs we all do. But he’s so...contrary. Resists what he wants most.”

  “Yep. You’ve succumbed, all right.”

  Ellie slumped in her chair. “Completely.”

  “Maybe you should take a break from him, come out here for a visit.”

  “I’m already twenty-eight weeks along. I probably shouldn’t fly.” She couldn’t leave Hudson right now anyway.

  “I’d come there if I could, but I’m so busy at work, and I need the money.”

  “I’d rather you came after the baby’s born. You’ll want to meet him, won’t you?”

  “Of course. I’m the godmother, don’t forget. Have you told your parents?”

  “Just this week.”

  “Wow. A lot’s changed, and you haven’t even called me!”

  “I’ve been too involved with Hudson. I’m sorry.”

  “I understand. I’d be pretty involved with him, too,” she said with a laugh.

  Ellie asked about her love life and how her parents were doing, and talked more about her own parents and their reactions to her news.

  “They weren’t happy to be left out of the loop, but they understand why I did it,” she said.

  “Are they coming home?”

  “Not for a few weeks. They’ll be here for the birth, but I told them I’m in good hands—and Hudson and I are in California and need some time alone to bond.”

  “That was a smart answer.”

  Considering Cort Matisson’s visit, Ellie was especially glad she’d acted to protect her time with Hudson. He didn’t need any more stress at the moment. “I think so.”

  “Well, don’t forget to find me an NFL player,” she said. “I could use a break from the salon.”

  Ellie wished they still lived close. “That’ll be easier during the season. I haven’t even met the team—only Hudson’s best friend, who’s already married.”

  “Do you think Hudson will ever find out who his parents were?” Amy asked.

  Ellie caught her breath. “It’s possible, I suppose. Why?”

  “Just wondering. It would be so hard—knowing you were abandoned
and having no clue where you came from.”

  The only thing worse was finding out—at least when it was someone like Cort Matisson. “I’d better go,” she said. Ellie was afraid that if they continued to talk about Hudson’s background, she’d blurt out everything she’d been worrying about.

  “Okay, but before you hang up, I wanted to tell you that Don came in to get his hair cut, and he brought Leo.”

  Being engaged to Don suddenly seemed like a century ago—and almost insignificant now. “He did? What’d they have to say?”

  “Not much. Just asked how you and the baby were doing.”

  “What’d you tell them?”

  “I showed them the last picture you sent me, and Don stared at it for so long, I got the feeling he misses you.”

  Ellie shoved her hair out of her face. “I guess, when I think about it, there are things I miss about him, too. He understood my work and my love for it—shared that with me. In many ways, we were a lot alike.”

  “And you and Hudson are totally different!”

  “That’s true. But maybe that’s why we work better as a couple. At least, in my mind we do.”

  “I’m so glad you’re happy.”

  “Thanks,” Ellie said. Problem was...nothing this good ever seemed to last. And—she drew a deep breath as she gazed at the papers strewn across the dining room table—she had a feeling Hudson would not take the news well if the results of that DNA test came back positive, even though he was expecting it.

  25

  Samuel Jones called just before Hudson was supposed to go in for the team meeting. Bruiser glanced over when Hudson answered and must’ve been able to tell from the look on his face that this was the moment he’d been waiting for. He immediately stepped up to tell everyone that Hudson had to take care of a personal matter and would join them in a minute.

  Hudson turned away. “So? What’d Matisson say?”

  “His daughter’s not doing well,” Jones replied. “He won’t wait, says he’s desperate.”

  Tilting his head back, Hudson closed his eyes. “So...how fast is he talking?”

  “If he doesn’t get the money today, he’ll go to the papers.”

  Bullshit. He’d sell his story to one of the gossip rags, capitalize on it. Why would he give it away for free? “So he’s not willing to let me meet Julia? Speak to her?”

  “No, he’s too nervous about that. He’s afraid she’ll guess what’s going on.”

  “How could she guess—if she thinks her baby died?”

  “I don’t know, Hudson. The guy isn’t the easiest person in the world to deal with, okay? That’s all I can tell you. He’s a loose cannon. I suggest you pay him off and be done with it. You’ve got the money.”

  Hudson stiffened at Jones’s last comment. “It’s not just about the money. It’s the principle. I don’t like letting some lowlife blackmail me, especially when I have no guarantee he’ll keep his word.”

  “I think he’ll honor the agreement.”

  “How long will it take to get the DNA results?”

  “A week or longer.”

  “Why? You’ll have my sample today.”

  “I have to take it with me, fly to Arizona, get Matisson to swab his cheek and then ship it off. Who knows how long the lab will take.”

  “It shouldn’t be more than two days. I’ve checked. There are labs with that turnaround time.”

  “Shorter might be possible. I’ll try, but we’ve got to get this right.”

  “Yeah, I know.” Hudson clenched his free hand, wishing he could plant it in Matisson’s face.

  “So, what do you say? Should we do this deal—get it behind us?”

  Hudson walked over to the window and gazed out at the lush landscaping. If a million dollars could prevent Cort Matisson from selling his story, maybe Hudson was being stupid for resisting. And if the money was going to help a dying woman, he could even justify it.

  But would the money really go to Julia? That was the question. And if Matisson was that desperate to help his daughter, why wouldn’t he let Hudson meet her? “No.”

  “No?”

  He heard the amazement in Jones’s voice.

  “What are you thinking, man? You have a public image to protect.”

  “If Matisson sells his story to some magazine, he’ll incriminate himself at the same time. If he offers me the proof I’m asking for, we can keep the past just between us. Surely he’d prefer to avoid an attempted murder charge.”

  “This dude is crazy,” Jones said. “He’s willing to risk his freedom.”

  “Then tell him to go for it.” Hudson hit End before he could change his mind. The thought of reading Matisson’s story in the next issue of People magazine made him feel ill. But he wouldn’t be able to respect himself if he gave in to this bastard’s demands, not without doing his homework. He refused to be that big a fool.

  Bruiser came out of the room where the meeting was taking place. Hearing his approach, Hudson looked up.

  “Hey, you off the phone? That was the investigator, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “How’d it go?”

  Hudson shook his head. “I won’t give that no-good bastard a dime—not unless he’s willing to prove who he is and why he needs the money.”

  Bruiser rubbed his big hands together. “I could’ve guessed that’d be your decision.”

  “The truth is the truth. Whatever happens, I’ll just have to face it.”

  “You’re a stubborn son of a bitch,” his friend said with an affectionate smile. “But in this instance, I’m glad.”

  * * *

  Ellie switched the phone to her other ear. “He did what?”

  “He didn’t tell you?” Bruiser responded.

  “He didn’t mention it, no. He called me after the meeting to let me know that the owner of the team—”

  “Craig Thompson.”

  “Yeah—sorry, I’d forgotten his name.” She’d been too immersed in what she was reading when Hudson had checked in. She’d grasped that he was staying a few more days to fulfill some commitments, but she hadn’t paid much attention to the details. “Anyway, he told me Craig asked him to play some golf and then meet a friend for dinner tonight—but he didn’t say he’d heard from Jones, and I didn’t ask because I’d rather not keep hammering him about it. Matisson is weighing on his mind enough as it is.”

  “We talked about it during the meeting and then again after, while he was waiting for Craig. Now that he’s refused to give Matisson the money, I think he’s just holding his breath, waiting to see what happens next.”

  Ellie had been reading the file as quickly as possible, but it was thick, and she was being careful not to miss anything. She hadn’t made it through all the material yet. “I hate that after doing what he did when Hudson was born, Cort Matisson is trying to hurt him again—even if he’s doing it for the sake of a sick daughter. He walked off and left Hudson to die. He has no right to come back to him for help.”

  “While I pity the daughter—provided she’s truly suffering—I agree. If that old man goes to the press...”

  “It’d be a stupid move. Hopefully he’ll hold off, continue trying to work out a deal with Hudson.”

  “Except Jones says Julia’s not doing well. So Matisson’s in a big rush.”

  “Then he should offer Hudson proof of her illness. That’s all Hudson requested.”

  “Jones says he won’t.”

  She bit her lip as she gazed helplessly at all the paper she’d organized into various stacks. There was nothing tangible in what she’d read, nothing that could help Hudson as things stood. “I wish there was something we could do to get the proof he needs.”

  “I do, too. But that’s impossible. We’d need Matisson’s DNA
in order to establish whether they’re truly related. Even if we had it, Jones told Hudson it’ll take a week to ten days to get the results.”

  “Testing doesn’t have to take that long. I’ve checked. And there’s a lab in LA that’s AABB accredited. If we had Matisson’s DNA, we could drive it over there and still make it before five. That means we could find out as early as Wednesday.”

  “But if Matisson’s out looking for someone to buy his story, even two days will be too late.”

  “Not necessarily. The man I saw was a bit rough around the edges. He might not know how to go about marketing the story, probably doesn’t know who to approach. And negotiations could take some time. If he’s trying to get as much as possible, he might try to start a bidding war, which could slow things down.”

  “I’m afraid that’s wishful thinking.”

  She rubbed her tired eyes. Now that she was in her final trimester, the baby seemed to be sapping her energy. “Maybe it is, but I’m not willing to give up.”

  “I don’t see that we have any choice. Hudson told me Matisson lives in Arizona now. There’s no way we could get his DNA any sooner than Jones. At least Jones has his cooperation.”

  Dropping her head in her hand, Ellie massaged her forehead. She wished Hudson had offered Matisson a drink of some kind when he came to the house. Then they’d have his DNA right here in Silver Springs.

  She lifted her head. Bruiser was saying something, but she let the phone fall from her ear. A memory had flashed in her mind. Cort Matisson had a pack of cigarettes in his pocket when he came here. She’d seen him pat his chest as if he was desperate for a smoke. And he’d walked in smelling like a chimney. She’d picked up the acrid scent all the way from where she stood on the stairs...

  “Bruiser, let me call you back.” She was in such a hurry, she set her cell on the table without even bothering to hit End. She doubted she’d be as lucky as she needed to be. After all, it’d been two days since Matisson’s visit, so even if he had stood outside and smoked a cigarette before knocking on the door, the wind or the gardeners could’ve swept it away.

  Still, she rushed out and searched the porch, flower beds and shrubbery. She even walked the long circular drive, looking at the edges of the grass in case he’d stamped on a cigarette as he got out of his vehicle and the butt had since fluttered to the side.