Fading Memories

by A. M. Willard

  “Can you move back some, please,” I ask, giving him a slight push from my space.

  “I really want to kiss you right now. When I turned around and saw the look on your face, I wanted to kiss you. And I’m not talking about a little one. You need to be kissed like you never have been before.”

  “Seriously Dakota, I’ve been kissed. Don’t flatter yourself and think you’d be the first.”

  “You might’ve been kissed before, Izzie, but not the way I want to. God, you’re making me crazy to just touch you, to kiss you, to screw you. That’s all I’ve been thinking of since I watched you step out of your car. When you were crying the other night on the beach, I wanted to kiss your tears away, one by one.”

  “Dakota, you just met me. You’re fooling yourself about what you think you want, and what’ll happen between us. It’s not going to happen. You need to stop.” I manage to get out somehow, even though I am pretty much speechless. Never has anyone spoken to me that way, so straight forward. However, it was the hottest thing anyone’s ever said.

  “We might have just met, but I know what I want, and just so you know, I always get my way.” He turns around and picks up where he left off with the paint, leaving me opening and closing my mouth. Dakota turns around to resume painting and I have to hold onto the countertop for support.

  After I gulp cold water down to cool off my insides, I manage to pour more paint into my cup and finish trimming the areas left. We haven’t said much since Dakota told me what he wanted to do to me. I’m glad he hasn’t said anything more; I’m still processing his words.

  With a step back, I look around at the work we’ve been able to complete today. Pleased with the color choice for the kitchen, I let a smile spread across my face.

  “We did a fantastic job today,” I hear him say.

  “Not too bad, thanks for the help. I’m just going to clean this up and stuff.”

  “How about dinner tonight? I can take you out or cook,” Dakota says as he moves closer to me.

  “Not tonight, thanks,” I say. I turn around to face him, leaving our mouths less than an inch from each other. I wasn’t aware that he was that close to me.

  “Why? Give me a reason. Do you already have plans?” he asks in a low husky voice.

  “No, I don’t have plans. I do, however, have an early day tomorrow. But foremost, this isn’t going to happen between us, okay? We can be friends, but that’s it.”

  “I’ll take friends for now, but you’ll fall for me soon enough. Just like I’ve fallen for you. Do you need help cleaning up? Because I really need to go before I kiss you. Just know, when that happens, we will no longer be friends. You’ll be mine.” He backs away.

  With a big gulp, I respond the best I can. “No, you can leave.”

  “Night, see you tomorrow.”

  Sliding down the cabinet to the floor, I pull my knees up to my chest. I take this moment to gather myself up and figure out what to do. He’s proven that he plans to make this hard for me. I’ll need to put up a bigger fight, figure it out, or I could always sell the cottage and move. Even though this is truly the only home I’ve ever known, the idea of starting fresh is starting to look promising.

  CHAPTER NINE

  THE NEXT FEW DAYS pass without any incidents, and somehow, I’ve managed to escape Dakota. The contractors have completed the work on the wood siding and are finishing the trim work today. It’s amazing what a fresh coat of paint can do for a place. While they’ve been hard at work on the exterior, I’ve completed the dining area, thankful to be putting the rooms back together. It took a lot longer without help, but honestly, it was because I’d stop every so often to glance out my window. I’d catch myself and then it would turn into a self-lecture on how I don’t need him in my life. Subconsciously, I think of him, as I dreamt about him last night. Talk about embarrassing myself. The dream had actually given me an orgasm in my sleep.

  I’m in the kitchen leaned up against the counter, licking my lips as I watch Dakota bend down to cover his brush with more paint. He looks up at me just as I taste them again. Standing straight up, he struts slowly in my direction. He reaches me¸ slides his hand around my neck, and jerks me toward his chest. Our foreheads graze together, allowing me to smell the faint scent of mint from his lips. Raising his hands to grasp my face in between them, he says, “It’s time that I kiss you now.”

  “Kiss me, Dakota,” I whimper as I part my lips, allowing him access. That’s all that was needed before he claims my mouth as if it were his last breath. His hands slide up into my hair, pushing me more into him. I let out a moan into his mouth, which encourages him to continue. Dakota pulls away with my bottom lip between his teeth and looks down into my eyes.

  He backs me into the counter, and I allow my hands to travel up his back. The need to touch him, to feel what his skin is like, wins. My lips are swollen and sore but need to be kissed again. I decide to show him what I need this time and pull him into me. Now, he relinquishes the control as I kiss him the way he did me.

  Breaking apart, I can barely speak but manage to get out, “Dakota, I need you to touch me, I want your mouth all over me.”

  Not wasting a moment, his hand slides down to cup my breast. This simple movement has me arching my back and allowing him perfect access. My nipples grow taut against the lace of my bra, and pushing them out more toward him earns me a moan from him. Every sensor in my body has set off the alarm bells. He works my breast as the intensity of our kiss grows. “I need to be inside you, right here,” he demands, and I nod my head at him in approval.

  He slides my shorts down, and I feel the rip of my panties, not wasting time for me to step out of them. He grips my thigh and raises it to his waist. Toying with me, he gives me one of his signature smirks, as I look at him through hooded eyes. Not being able to withstand it any longer, I reach down to his groin and tug. “I said I needed you, and I meant it. Take me, all of me.”

  “Fuck, Izzie, you’re so damn tight. God, I’m not going to last long. Hurry up and come with me,” he says breathlessly.

  “Harder Dakota, I need you … Ohhhh God yes, just like that. Don’t stop …”

  I am completely filled with Dakota and close to my climax.

  That was the moment I woke, completely drenched in sweat and panting. Never in all my life have I dreamt something so realistic. Needless to say, I’m not ready to see him anytime soon.

  I keep myself busy as I try to not reflect on my dream. There’s a loud knock on the front door, and the bucket of water I was carrying crashes to the floor. With a mumble of curses, I toss a towel down to soak the mess up, and swing the door open. The lead supervisor is pacing back and forth on the porch.

  “Just finished. Care to take a look?”

  “Of course.”

  Happy with the result, I’m bouncing on the pads of my feet, itching to show it off. With a quick sign-off on the paperwork I hand over the check and race off to search for my phone.

  I group text to Kelsey and Leah:

  Me: Dinner my house at 6:30 sharp. Nothing fancy, just finger foods. Can’t wait to show you the house.

  A few moments later, a chirp and two texts pop up.

  Leah: About freaking time, can’t wait.

  Kelsey: See you soon.

  With only a few hours to clean and relax, time seems to have stalled. Most of the house is already picked-up, so I grab my Kindle and pad through the house toward the sunroom. With my feet propped up in front of me, I open the browsers and search for my next read. I try to focus on the words standing out on the device, but I can’t. Tossing the Kindle to the side, I turn my attention toward Dakota’s house for the millionth time today.

  Even though I fight him every step of the way, he’s embedded in my brain. Not only does he push every button I have, it’s become something I look forward to. In such a short time, this man has become a constant, which scares the hell out of me. I find myself debating if I should march over and demand he have dinner with us, and then
I push the thought away just as fast as it arrived. Tonight is about the fresh start I’m making, something he’s not familiar with. The girls need to be here to celebrate this, not the one person I need to stay away from.

  Soon after Kelsey and Leah arrive, the grand tour starts. We walk around the exterior and move inside. Kelsey sees the coral walls and claps like a loon. “I flipping love this color! I was so worried it wouldn’t fit. You proved me wrong.”

  “I still say you should have done it in the other room.” Leah pouts.

  “Love the colors, and it’s finally feeling like my own home, not the place I grew up in.”

  “I know, Izzie, it’s just going to take time like everything else,” Kelsey explains as she gives me a squeeze.

  “I finally got my colors. Who can live with neutral all their life?” As soon as it slips out, my memory flashes to the home I shared with Peter and what it was like every day. He’d given me full reign to decorate as I saw fit, just as long as he approved it first. I’d never seen so much beige in one place as I did with him.

  It was moving day, and Joseph’s truck was loaded to the hilt with my crap. Dad was still stressing over the fact that his little girl was moving out, but most of all, I was going to be living with Peter. I tried to express the fact that it was a “test the waters” experiment, but it still didn’t satisfy his concerns. Peter had been living on his own for some time, and it would be an adjustment for the two of us.

  The house was already fully furnished, which was a blessing. I brought my clothes, books, and all my teaching supplies. Peter had agreed to allow me some space in his office to set up my paper-grading corner.

  Boxes unloaded and stacked in the appropriate rooms, I glanced around the space. Envisioning historic colors such as a deep burgundy for the kitchen, and maybe a hunter green in the foyer, I smiled at my new home.

  “Peter?” I called out to the other room.

  Watching him step into the foyer, a smile spread from my excitement. “What do you think about a rich hunter green for this area? I think it’ll accent the historic features of the door, and trim.”

  “The color I have is beautiful. You’re welcome to make this your home, but we will not be painting. Go grab a few pictures; you can place them on the mantel.” After he explained this, Peter turned and left me in shock—no, confused. How does adding a few framed pictures to the fireplace mantel make this my home? Oh, let’s not forget the clothes I was allowed to hang in his master closet. I shook it off; it was just too fast and we would revisit later. “How about we grab a pizza for dinner? It’s getting late and I still need to unpack a few more things.”

  “Go ahead and order. I need to get some paperwork completed for tomorrow,” he responded, and walked away in the direction of his office.

  After ordering our dinner, I finished putting away my stuff and had to question, is this what living with another person is like? Maybe I had this grand idea of conversations flowing, cuddles by the fire, and a feeling of security. It’s only the first day, Izzie, I thought, give it time.

  Needless to say, having the colors of my choice now is a magnificent feeling. One I can describe as ownership: this is my home, and the old me is finally going to show.

  “You really have outdone yourself,” I hear Kelsey announce.

  “I wouldn’t say I’ve outdone myself, but I’m proud.”

  “Yes, you really did well,” Leah says with a smirk.

  They both know how disappointed I’d been to not spruce up the other place. It never felt like home—it was a place I returned to each night, like a stranger going to visit that one family member you don’t know. Lucky for me, I did know where the plates and cups were. Every dream I ever had about the cottage, I’d find a way to make them happen. One day at a time, just like I heal each day, I’ll make a dream come true.

  “Grab a tray and let’s go sit out back.” I pick up one of the plates and a drink and I lead the way.

  Setting down the items in my hand, I’m positioned ideally to peek over toward my MIA neighbor. What if he’s fallen and lying dead on his bathroom floor? I worry my lip. Snap out of it Izzie, he drives you mad. Why do you care?

  “Izzie! Izzie! Isabel!” Kelsey screams at me.

  “What! Stop yelling at me, I’m right here.”

  “Your body is, but where’s your mind? You’ve been spaced since we sat down.”

  I debate for a moment whether or not to explain where my thoughts are. They’ll get it out of me soon enough, so I might as well explain what my dilemma is about.

  “Fine, if I have to.” I shift in my seat. “You know Dakota helped paint the kitchen the other day. Ever since then, I haven’t seen him, not once, not even a glance. I’m a little worried about him. What if he’s hurt or dead?”

  “Izzie, I’m not sure what to say. I thought you hated him and would be happy to have a break?” Leah says.

  “I do, but you know how an ant bite doesn’t hurt at first? It’s that little prickle, and then turns into a sting? That’s him! He's bitten me and now … Now I don’t know if it hurts, or what.” Shrugging, I try to pass it off as no big deal.

  “What changed? I swore the other night you would be the cause of his death,” Kelsey questions me as she narrows her eyes in my direction.

  “I don’t know, just worried, and he’s thrown me for a loop. Then I had this dream last night, and that’s not helping me.”

  “What dream?” they both ask in unison.

  “Just some crazy dream about him, screwing me up against the counter. Drop it, it’s no big deal and it’s so embarrassing.” As I explain this little predicament, my hands cover my flushed red checks.

  Complete silence has overtaken the room and I can’t believe that neither of them has spoken a word. Just as I pull my hands away from my face and look up, I freeze. Dakota’s braced against the frame with his hands crossed over his chest. The smirk that he’s giving me right now vibrates with confidence. Oh… My… God… Kill me now. Did he actually just hear me say I dreamt about him screwing me? Well by the look on his face, he did.

  “Hello, ladies,” Dakota announces in a booming voice as he enters and heads right to me. He leans down and whispers in my ear, “Evening Izzie, did I hear you correctly?”

  “You sir, need to stop eavesdropping. And don’t flatter yourself, it wasn’t about you,” I managed to say through gritted teeth, piercing my eyes at the girls. I’m livid that they didn’t figure out a way to stop me. I mean, who doesn’t clear their throat or something? They know I’m the shy one and I’m mentally dying of embarrassment over here.

  “Evening Dakota, care to join us?” Kelsey asks with a wide grin on her face.

  “Love to, thanks,” he responds and sits down promptly next to me, placing a hand on the top of my bare leg. This simple act causes my breath to hitch and my blood to boil.

  Just as I open my mouth, it closes again when Leah jumps up and runs into the house, the sound of glasses clinking drawing my attention. I’m going to kill her, I think, still cutting my eyes at Kelsey. I’m catching them—they think this is a slick move, but I’ve got more self-control than I’m given credit for.

  “I noticed they finished with the work today.”

  “They did, yes.” My voice is cold and even-toned, as I pray he gets the picture that I’m pissed.

  “You want to tell me about this dream you had, and why you were worried about me?”

  Oh, he is so cocky in the way he automatically thinks I was referring to him. I’m not giving in. Control yourself, Izzie.

  “I wasn’t worried about you, and I dang sure wasn’t dreaming about you. You might need to clean your ears because you’re mistaken.”

  Leaning into me more, his silky voice says, “You’ll tell me later after the girls leave. I’ve missed you by the way.” Shifting in the seat, he turns in the other direction but doesn’t forget to squeeze my leg a little tighter. “What’s for dinner tonight, ladies?”

  “Oh, staying for dinner?
” Kelsey asks.

  “Salad, cheese, crackers, and wine,” Leah blurts out, having returned from the kitchen. She’s enjoying this and I swear I witness a twinkle in her eye.

  She’s cut from the circle. Just wait until Joseph’s around next time. Two can play this game.

  “No dinner for you. Now, move along back to your side of the beach.” I motion my hands in the direction of his house. Dipping my head, I try to cut my eyes at him the best I can before I explain. “This is girls’ night, so unless you have boobs and a vajayjay, you’re not welcome.”

  “No, I certainly don’t have those.” He smirks and turns toward to girls. “I do have some work to finish and more unpacking, but I haven’t seen you all day and this will give me a chance to chat with you ladies. Do you two approve of me crashing for a bit?”

  “Sure,” they both agree, causing me to roll my eyes.

  How did this even happen? He’s been missing all day, and then picks the exact time that I lay out my erotic dream to show up. Maybe he bugged the place? Yes, that is the only explanation for this problem—Dakota has planted a device in the plant to spy on my every move. I knew something was up with him, it’s the only reason I can think of. It’s a crazy nut job one, but at least I’m not strangling them all with my bare hands.

  CHAPTER TEN

  DAKOTA STAYS FOR DINNER, as the girls insisted, even making him his personal plate. They seem to just love the fact that he’s here, while I’m replaying ways to strangle him without going to jail. He’s pushing the limits tonight. If he squeezes my leg one more time, I’ll snap. Why on earth were you worried about him? I chastise myself as my insides boil from his touch.

  After being MIA for days, here he sits, invading not only my space but my friends. The sooner we get through this evening, the faster he can go home. Still reeling over the fact that he heard me, I’m actually considering that “For Sale” sign now. How embarrassing is it to have someone overhear such a thing? Especially the main attraction in your very vivid dream.