by Jordan Marie
“Do it, or I’ll just keep shooting, and then we’ll move onto those men upstairs in room two hundred and three that you actually care about.” I surrender the locket to him, doing my best not to cry. He puts it in Pistol’s hands, then calmly looks back at me. “Come along, sunshine. We need to get out of here before people start looking for you.”
He grabs my arm and doesn’t give me a choice. He leads us away and into the room he came from. I look over my shoulder at Pistol before my father jerks me away, demanding my attention.
He walks me quickly through the back room, which appears to be a storage room for the hospital, then through a metal door which leads to the outside. I briefly consider running away, but the tight, bruising grip my father has on me doesn’t give me the chance.
A limo waits for us at the corner. A man in a nondescript suit stands with the door open. My father pushes me in without a word. I stumble inside, managing to keep from face-planting into the seat. Just as I sit upright, my father joins me.
“Where’s my sister? I want to see Katie!”
“Don’t worry,” he says. “I’ll make sure you get to see her soon.”
“Where are we going?” I ask, staring straight ahead at the privacy screen and thinking I’ve made the wrong decision. That phrase just keeps going over and over in my brain: I’ve made the wrong decision… I’ve made the wrong decision…
“To my yacht,” he says, and I hear the tinge of pride in his voice.
“We can’t! Skull—never mind.”
My father laughs. It’s a warm laugh, one I remember as a child. The same laugh he used when my sister Katie climbed up on the table for our fourth birthday. She saw the birthday cake and wouldn’t stop until she got up on the big fancy dining room table that was my mother’s pride and joy. The trouble was, she had on her muck boots that we had to wear to go to the barn. My mother freaked out and came running, screaming at Katie. It scared Katie. She scrambled to get away from mom and, in the process, dumped the cake all over my mother’s dress. Dad laughed for ten minutes, infuriating my mother so much that she left for two days.
I had forgotten those memories. How? My father had doted on both of us during that time. It had been good. We were happy, but now…
“Don’t worry, sunshine. I already know your boyfriend is striking today and destroying my yacht. I told you before, I know it all. You don’t have to fear spilling the beans. Interesting, though. You would be willing to kill me and yourself to guard his secrets? Such loyalty. I definitely kept the wrong daughter.”
“If you know Skull is destroying it, why would you be heading straight there?” I ask, confused and hating the man in front of me at the same time.
“That is the question, isn’t it? A question that will become all too clear, soon. For now, I suggest you lie back and rest. We have an exciting day in front of us.”
I turn away from him, staring out the window.
We’ve got two hours until the charges are triggered. Two fucking hours, and Beth isn’t back yet.
I ordered her and my men to be back early. Fucking hell, I don’t need this added stress. Pistol, the fucker… He isn’t answering his phone, and no one can seem to find Latch either. If they’re alive when I find them, I’m going to kill them.
I climb off my bike, Briar and Sabre behind me. Shaft, a new recruit, stays behind to watch over the bikes and be on lookout. I push through the doors intent on finding my woman. When I feel my cellphone vibrate in my pocket, a small amount of panic leaves me. Finally, the fuckers are checking in. I’m going to take off their heads and turn Beth’s ass red for worrying me. I look at the caller ID and notice it’s Beast’s room.
“Where the fuck have you been? I thought I told you to come home early?”
I expect to hear Beth’s voice. When I don’t, my stomach clenches and my heart lodges in my throat, fear choking me.
“Boss.”
The voice is strained and hard to hear. It’s gruffer and different from the way it used to be, but I instantly recognize it.
“Beast? Where the fuck’s Beth? Or my men? Son of a bitch, are you okay?”
“Boss… A-Attack…”
“Motherfucker!” I growl, taking off running, ignoring the elevators and bolting up the stairs. I hear my brothers running behind me, their steps echoing. I’ve got my gun drawn and I burst into Beast’s room, unsure of what I’ll find. Beast is lying on the bed, shaking as he tries to pull himself up. Latch lies on the floor, bleeding.
Pistol and Beth are nowhere to be seen.
“Where’s Beth?” I ask Beast while Sabre checks on Latch.
“Caff… Caff-a… ear…” he struggles to say, and despite the broken words, I know what he’s trying to say. Without waiting for him to finish, I take off running.
I glance over my shoulder. Torch and Briar are there, following. “Get a hold of Cade’s men!” I order them, yelling. “Find out where the fuck they are! How in the fuck did this happen if they’re watching the exits??”
I fucking expect someone to find me an answer. My gut tells me Cade’s men and Pistol are behind this. That might seem unfair, but I’m kicking my fucking ass for letting my guard down with that motherfucker. I respected Cade though… Fuck. I hope my stupidity doesn’t cost Beth her life. If something happens to her…
Fear threatens to overtake me, but I buckle that shit down; I don’t have time for it. I slam open the doors to the cafeteria. People look up, startled by my sudden entrance. The place is pretty much deserted. Someone screams, which is understandable as I still have my fucking gun drawn. I ignore them, marching into the kitchen. There’s a few people in there, but not one sign of Pistol or Beth. I go to the bathrooms, hoping to find them there.
“Boss! Down here!” I hear Torch yell.
I follow the sound of his voice. Through a small hall, there’s a supply room to the right with its door left open. Torch leans over an unconscious Pistol at the doorway. Pistol has a bad-looking wound in his gut.
“Beth?” I ask him, and for a man who didn’t used to feel fear, that shit is nearly strangling me now.
“No sign of her, boss, but—”
“But…?”
He holds up Beth’s locket, covered in blood.
I tear it out of his grip. My hands are shaking as I pull it over my head, screaming with a mixture of fear and anger. Spotting the door through the supply room that leads to the outside, I move behind Torch and shove it open, desperate to drag air into my lungs. Off to the side of the door is one of Cade’s men with a hole in his head. I look around hopelessly for Beth, but I know in my heart that I won’t see her.
I’m too late. The motherfuckers have her.
“Boss? Six of Cade’s men have been brought down. The others were watching the front exits. That means they came this way. Torch went to the security room to check the camera footage. We’ll find her, boss. Torch will know something any minute now.”
I can hear Briar in my ear, but it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters right now. All that matters is the one fact I can’t get away from.
I’m too fucking late.
I’ve buckled emotion down. I had to. I couldn’t function, and that wouldn’t get my woman back. Colin wants her. I know what he wants. I refuse to believe I can’t get her back before that happens. I will get her, and then I will chop Colin up into fucking pieces and feed him to my dogs. The only thing I can do until Torch comes up with a lead as to where they took Beth is move full steam ahead.
“Is everything in place?”
“Yeah, boss. When do you want us to start letting off the discharges?”
“Thirty minutes. I want Diesel here.”
“I can’t figure it out. I thought the fuckers would up their security after our first round of attacks. This seems almost too easy,” I grumble, raking my hand down the side of my face, losing my fingers in the stubble. I look like fucking hell. Losing your heart does that to a man. I have to get her back… I have to.
“I think th
e fuckers are just underestimating your fire power, ese,” Diesel says, strolling in like he owns the fucking world.
“Or maybe they realize what a fucking fool I was to concentrate on attacking them and not protecting my woman.”
“No word?” Diesel says, kicking a chair out and straddling the back of it between his legs, propping his hands on the top of it.
“She was pushed into a limo right outside the hospital,” I tell him. “It wasn’t Colin with her. Fucker knew where the cameras were, so his face was hidden. I have no idea who he is.”
“Redmond?”
“I don’t know.”
I’m fishing in the fucking dark here and that’s what drives me crazy. With Colin, I know what to worry about. If this is Redmond, then why is he making himself known now? What the fuck does he want with Beth? Is she going to be a pawn in a fucking play for power? The pencil I’m holding in my hand snaps. I throw the pieces at the table in frustration. I hate this fucking song and dance shit. Why can’t the motherfucker just be a man and face me head on?
“How’s Pistol and Latch?” asks Diesel.
“Pistol just got out of surgery,” I tell him. “They say the fucker should be okay. Latch is fine, already trying to bang a nurse. Are we ready for fireworks?” I ask Torch. I’m fucking tired and need to concentrate on Beth.
“Yeah, boss. We upped the firepower. Because of the long range this time, I’ll type the coordinates and codes into the computer and there will be about a one minute delay before the charges ignite.”
“Let’s hit Colin’s pretties first. I’m in the mood to fuck up his playthings,” I tell him while looking at the screen, which shows Colin’s private garage that has over fifty cars housed in it. They range from the rarest of classic vehicles to state-of-the-art. These beauties are solely Colin’s, especially the 1950’s Ariel 650 Cyclone in the corner.
“Got it. Command code sent, boss,” Torch says.
We sit back and watch. True to his word, in about a minute we watch as the explosion starts. We only get to see inside for one blast. Fire erupts and I get the joy of seeing the motorcycle destroyed before the building is toast, along with the camera. Torch switches to another view. This time, it’s a camera across the street, and we watch as the building burns to the ground. Fire trucks come charging in, but they can’t help save and contain what is already gone.
“Next, boss?”
“Take out his planes.”
One by one we go down the line of precious things we’re destroying until we arrive at the yacht that Colin and Matthew keep off the coast of Tybee Island. I smile because I know this one will hurt the most. This one, they use constantly. Word has it that Colin even lived on the yacht for a year. It’s his favorite, though, if the intel Torch was getting holds true, Redmond is the one who controls the purse strings and is the actual owner. Doesn’t matter; I’m taking all of them down. Colin, Matthew, Redmond… I don’t fucking care. No one messes with my woman.
“Let’s get this done. I have a woman to find.”
“Got it, boss. Punching the last of the codes in now,” Torch answers. I hear the beeps and the rattle of his keyboard.
“What the fuck?” I yell, jumping out of my seat to go to the monitor. “Jesus fucking Christ! Stop it, Torch! Stop the blast! Abort it!” I yell, standing in front of the screen. My heart pounds a million times a minute and my body feels like it’s on fucking fire. There on the screen is my sweet Beth. I know it’s her. She’s wearing the same beautiful pink dress she had on this morning, and her hair is pulled back and clipped high on her head so the rest swings down. She’s being held by two men and her hands are tied behind her back. They’re all but dragging her up the wooden dock to the ship.
“Torch!” I scream. “Stop the motherfucking bombs!”
“Goddamn it, boss, I’m trying!”
“Jesus!” one of the men behind me exclaims. “Holy Mother of God!” shouts another. “Stop it, Torch!!” I scream myself, hearing the others, but they don’t matter—nothing matters except stopping this bomb.
“I’m trying, boss! I’m trying!”
The screen blinks out once and my breath freezes in my fucking body because I know that’s it. Then, it comes back on. She’s at the top of the yacht now.
I’m fucking losing it.
“No. No. No. No! Motherfucker! Stall them, Beth!” I scream at the monitor. “Torch!”
“Boss, there’s some kind of interference. I… I can’t get the codes to go in. I’m almost there, just one more sec and—”
That’s all he gets out before the middle of the ship explodes. A split second later, another charge goes off right in front of Beth. The explosion is gigantic, the biggest one yet, because I wanted this motherfucker in so many pieces that parts of him could be found in every ocean.
I drop to my knees, screaming as I watch the flames erupt all over the one woman I love more than anything in the world, devouring her. I cry out in agony, my arms wrapped tight over my head and pulling it down, trying to block what I just saw. It can’t be true. It can’t.
“Oh my God, I killed her. I killed my Beth. No!” I scream as loud and as long as I can, trying to make the Heavens hear me so they can fix this. “Oh, God, please don’t let this be real… Oh, God! Baby… mi cielo… What have I done? W-What have I done??” I just keep repeating the words as the sobs rack my body. “What have I done?”
Three Days Later
I sit on the pier, the same spot I’ve been sitting every day since I destroyed my world. Bottle in hand, I watch the water and try to decide if I shouldn’t just jump in and join Beth. I feel so cold… so motherfucking cold that I could swear I’m dying, piece by fucking piece. Beth brought out the man I had forgotten I was, the man mi madre raised. She held the darkness, the beast down inside, at bay. Strangely enough, her death has silenced him. He’s just another part of me that’s rotted away.
I raise the bottle to my mouth to take another drink and find it’s empty. I toss it into the water, then bring a hand to Beth’s locket. I’ve cleaned it, but since then, I haven’t taken it off. I never will. It’s a reminder of what I had… and destroyed.
The area where the yacht was has been taped off with yellow and black caution tape that reads “Do Not Cross”. It didn’t stop me. I went through every inch of the remains, whatever was left. The rest had either disintegrated during the explosion or sank down to the bottom of the ocean. No bodies were found. The coroner said they may never find them. I wanted to believe that meant Beth was still alive, but that would be impossible. I saw the explosion. I saw the way it rocked her body and how the flames… ignited and swallowed her. I still see it. Every time I close my fucking eyes, I see it. It haunts me.
“Boss?”
“I’m nobody’s boss,” I tell Torch, not bothering to turn around and acknowledge him.
“The club needs you. There’s… things we need to figure out.”
“There’s nothing to figure out anymore, Torch. Nothing matters. The only thing that ever mattered is gone and there’s no one to blame but me.”
“That’s not true, boss. There’s a person to blame. Redmond.”
The name alone makes hate coil up inside of me, but I don’t hate that bastard half as much as I hate myself. Colin either, for that matter. They weren’t the ones who acted so carelessly with Beth’s life. They weren’t the ones who not only failed to protect her, but… killed her.
I killed her.
“Boss, something has happened,” Torch tries again. He’s ruining the numbness the alcohol has helpfully lent. I need to be numb right now. I need to be alone.
“I told you, I’m not your motherfucking boss. I’m done. Ask Pistol. He wanted the fucking job, he can have it.” Shit, I should have given it to him sooner. I should have just grabbed Beth and left. I should have put her first above everything else. I was so fucking cocky, playing the big shot, bringing my club into a war, putting everyone’s lives on the line…
I look down at my
hands. They look the same; normal, even. But I know they’re not. I may not be able to physically see it, but my hands are stained with so much blood that they will never be clean again. My club members, Cade’s men, Diesel’s men, Annabelle, and now my Beth… Everyone but the fucking people I was after. I was a fucking fool.
“Boss, Colin wants to meet.”
“Colin can go fuck himself,” I tell him, squinting against the sun that picks right now to glare off of the water.
“Boss, he wants our help.”
“Will you just go the fuck away? Don’t you get it? I don’t give a fuck about the club anymore. I don’t give a fuck about Colin! I just don’t give a fuck. I want to lie here on this damn pier and pass out. Then, when I wake up, I plan on drinking another bottle.” Rinse and repeat.
“That’s not what Beth would want from you. That’s not what she deserves from you.”
I hate him. I fucking hate him. His words dive through the alcohol haze and tear into the wounds inside that are still bleeding, the wounds that will never heal. Fueled by anger, I pull myself up with ease, which is surprising considering how drunk-off-my-ass I am. Remaining standing isn’t quite as easy, but I grab both of Torch’s shoulders to aid me. My hands bite into him cruelly as I force him to take my weight. He goes back a couple of steps, but manages to keep his balance.
“Beth isn’t here!” I shout. “Beth’s dead and I killed her! She deserved to never know me! I destroyed her! Don’t tell me what she would want. Don’t tell me what I should do! I know what she deserved… I know! Every fucking breath I take…”
“Boss, listen to me…”
“I killed her, Torch. I killed her. She was everything good in the world. She was my world and I was careless. I was so fucking careless.”
The tears fall then. You would think the rivers I’ve cried would have stopped them. I should be cried out, but I’m not. I never will be.
I pull away from Torch and let gravity have its way. Collapsing, my head slams back into the light post I had been leaning against. It throbs. I register the pain, but it doesn’t matter. I’m lost to the misery, to the tears that are being torn from my very soul. My body quakes as I lose myself inside the hurt.