He grabbed a lemon out of the bowl on the counter and tossed it from hand to hand. “Why else do you think the Sororitoys want me?”
I frowned. “I can’t imagine. I figured they were shallow and after your body.”
“You noticed my body?”
Gabe flexed the muscles of one arm as I passed, and I shoved him.
“Hey!” he protested. “Does Asher know you’re checking me out?”
The air hissed out of the room, and we both froze. Gabe looked stricken.
“God, Remy. I’m so sorry. I forgot for a second. I can’t believe I did that.”
The funny thing was, I understood. Asher’s name was never very far from my lips, either. “Don’t worry about it. I forget all the time.”
Gabe’s expression didn’t change, so I pushed him again as I headed outside. “Quit with the drama queen thing already, and grab those napkins, Gabriella.”
The insult snapped him out of it. Just before the kitchen door closed behind me, he taunted, “I’m not the drama queen. That would be you, Remington.”
A laugh bubbled out me, surprising my grandfather almost as much as it surprised me.
Over dinner, my grandfather’s gaze bounced between Gabe and me frequently. I’d trained with Asher’s brother for months, but I’d never seen this playful side of him. He teased me, obviously trying to make me smile. To my consternation, it worked. Somehow, it felt wrong to be laughing when Asher was dead. I felt like I’d betrayed him, sharing a joke with his brother.
When Franc turned the conversation to my abilities, Gabe nonchalantly steered the conversation back to more casual topics. By not admitting he knew what I could do, even to my family, Gabe earned a grudging respect from my grandfather. It was scary how well Gabe could read people.
After he left to go wherever he went when he wasn’t with me, I headed to my room. Franc rapped on my open door to get my attention as I readied for bed.
“I like your friend, Remy. I can see why you trust him. He mentioned he might be sticking around for a while?”
I nodded. “He’s thinking about applying to colleges around here.”
Liar, liar, pants on fire.
Franc lingered in the doorway and then suggested, “Why don’t you invite him to go to Pacifica with us tomorrow? He might like meeting your other friends, and I know Erin would like to see you.”
My mouth had dropped open, and I quickly snapped it shut. I hadn’t expected a gesture this big. I hesitated. “Aren’t you worried he’ll tell people about you?”
Franc shook his head slowly. “He’s kept your secret this long. If you trust him, that’s good enough for me.”
His gesture of faith touched me, and my lip trembled. “Thanks, Franc.”
He pushed off of the door frame. “I wouldn’t have raised such a fuss if I knew how you felt about him. And I can see he cares about you. You should have told me he was your boyfriend, Remy. ’Night, then.”
He disappeared down the hall and into his bedroom. I stumbled backward and collapsed on the bed.
Boyfriend? He thought Gabe was my boyfriend?
What a joke. Why, then, did it feel like I’d betrayed Asher in some way?
The longer I lay there, the more unbearable my thoughts became. I needed to move, to run, to exhaust myself until I couldn’t think anymore. Gabe had slipped me a new mobile phone that day and said I should text him when I wanted to get out. He’d promised to distract my guards. As much as it killed me to do it, I texted him and waited for his return text some twenty minutes later that signaled I could make a break for the trees.
He waited for me fifty feet into the forest. Leaning against a lumbering pine with his hands in the pockets of his jacket, Gabe appeared relaxed. He’d ditched the baseball cap at some point, but he looked like Asher. Most of the time I could handle that, but at that moment, I felt too raw. Was it too much to have an hour to myself without a constant reminder of what I’d lost?
“I’ve been thinking,” Gabe said. “We should start training again.”
No greeting. Just more orders. I’d become a puppet with my grandfather and Gabe taking turns pulling the strings.
“Not tonight,” I answered.
“What’s wrong?” he demanded, coming to attention.
“Nothing. I need some space. Can you do that?”
His eyes flashed when I walked past him without a word. He caught up with me easily and grabbed my arm to stop me. Why won’t you go away, Gabe? I don’t want you here!
“Space? The walls are closing in around us and you want space?”
He sounded pissed off, but I’d been stewing for hours. I yanked my arm from his hold and lifted my chin.
“What walls are you talking about?” I turned a circle and gestured toward him. “From where I stand, you look free to go at any time. I’m the one locked away here. You want to go? Do it! I never asked you to come here.”
I stomped away, shoving a branch out of the way.
“You’re a spoiled child,” he said to my back.
I froze. “What did you say?”
“You heard me. The one thing you got right is that you didn’t ask me to come here. No, you asked Asher to come here. And you know what? The longer I’m around you, the more confused I am about what he ever saw in you.”
I didn’t think. I struck out, wanting to hurt Gabe as badly as I ached. I threw myself at him and landed a solid blow to his jaw before he managed to get both of his arms around my ribs. He lifted me off my feet, pinning my arms to my sides. I kicked out, and Gabe grunted when my boot connected with his shin.
“Stop fighting me! I don’t want to hurt you!”
I stilled, and Gabe’s breathing sounded loud in the air. He set me on my feet and let me go cautiously. Even as he began to back away, I pulled my arm back and slugged him in the stomach as hard as I could. I doubted I caused him any pain with his stupid Protector inability to feel anything.
“Damn it, Remy! That hurt!” Gabe doubled over, bracing his hands on his thighs.
Oops. Somebody is becoming mortal around me. Too bad!
He glared at me, and I reversed in the opposite direction at the anger darkening his expression. “You want to fight? Fine. Let’s get this over with,” he said.
Common sense suddenly returned when Gabe’s hands closed into fists and he rose to his full height. He looked dangerous.
“Gabe . . .” I said in a halting voice.
I stopped because I refused to beg him for anything. That left one option. I tucked tail and ran. I’d gone three feet before Gabe tackled my back and I sprawled on the ground. He rolled to his feet and dropped into a crouching position. I spit out the dirt I’d inhaled and rolled in the opposite direction. My hands came up in defense when I jumped to my feet and faced him.
“Leave me alone, Gabe.”
“Or what? How will you stop me?”
He launched forward in a shadowy blur. When he appeared at my side, he wrapped a hand around my wrist, and his energy struck me with a force that sent me to my knees.
My mental walls, I realized. I hadn’t bothered with them around him lately, and I regretted it. The onslaught of his power didn’t feel like the times he or Asher had helped me heal myself. Fear sent a drop of sweat trickling down my back, and my galloping heart slowed to a dull, quiet thud as an icy wind blew through me. Frozen shards stabbed me from the inside out, and I gasped and he pulled me closer.
Gabe was stealing my energy. I could feel his power growing by the second.
His voice rumbled low in my ear. “This is what they’ll do to you. They’ll take everything. The pain will be so great, you’ll be begging them to kill you. This isn’t a game. You’re not like other Healers that they’ll toss away. You can cure them, and that makes you very valuable.”
Abruptly, his hold on me disappeared and Gabe’s energy receded as he fixed his walls into place again. The beat of my heart thundered loud in my ears once more, and the pain faded. I sucked in a breath and raised
my mental walls, too.
Asher had used this tactic on me once. I hadn’t understood how dangerous he could be. I’d been too trusting and he’d done exactly this to warn me off. It had worked for a time, but I’d loved Asher too much to stay away. We’d fought to find a way around our abilities so we could be together.
I didn’t love Gabe, though. And I was so freaking sick of people hurting me to manipulate me. If Asher had tried this on me again, I would have been furious. With Gabe, white-hot rage quickened inside me, and I fought to shutter my expression.
“You’ve made your point,” I said and I was proud of how calm I sounded.
Gabe relaxed, and I took advantage of that. I wavered and stretched out a hand, pretending weakness. He automatically reacted to help me. I dropped my walls in a rush. He sensed my humming instantly, but by then I held his hand and it was too late.
This time it was my energy filling his body and hurting him. The night Dean had shot Asher, we’d discovered that I could steal energy like any Protector could. Except my Healer side gave me an advantage Protectors didn’t have. Gabe’s kind could only steal from Healers, whereas I could take my pickings from either bloodline. It was why Asher and I had to be so careful with each other. Why we had to keep our guard up so often to ensure this didn’t happen.
That wouldn’t be a problem again. Asher was gone. And suddenly that knowledge didn’t hurt as fiercely with Gabe’s energy melding with mine, sparking coils of heat under my skin. The monster inside me roared with pleasure as it fed on Gabe.
“Remy, stop. Please . . .” Gabe begged.
Like coming out of a deep trance, I forced myself to focus on him. His face had lost all color, and lines of pain had appeared. His green eyes—Asher’s green eyes—stared at me helplessly.
Horrified, I released Gabe, and he collapsed to the ground. I choked on a sob and covered my mouth to stifle the sound.
What have I done? What the hell kind of freak am I becoming?
The wind bristled the pine needles above us. I didn’t know what to say to him. I wasn’t even sure how I felt about it. Except that the monster inside me roared in fury at being denied Gabe’s energy.
“You don’t mess around when you’re pissed off, do you?” Gabe said, forcing humor into his strained voice.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
I didn’t dare to go near him, even though we both had our walls up now.
“Oh, I’m grand,” he said. “Never felt better.” He tried to stand and groaned. “Shit, Remington. It’s like you ran me over with a forklift.”
I laughed and it sounded more like a sob.
“Come here,” Gabe said.
“Are you going to hurt me?” I asked in a small voice.
“No,” he answered in a rueful tone. “I think we’ve done enough damage to each other for one night. But you look like you’re going to fall and I could use a hand getting up.” I hesitated a moment more and he added, “You can trust me. I swear it.”
I went to him and stooped to put my shoulder under his arm to help him stand. I muttered, “He said before he killed her.”
“Don’t even joke,” Gabe said.
“Who’s joking?”
We stumbled to a nearby rock, and I lowered him to sit. I made to step back, but Gabe pulled me down beside him. He let me loose when I tugged on my hand, but I didn’t move away.
“Franc thinks we’re dating,” I blurted out.
Gabe did a double take. “He what?”
“Don’t make me say it again. It was bad enough the first time.”
He swallowed. “Did you correct him?”
I shook my head. “I didn’t get a chance. He said all this stuff about how he could tell you cared about me and that you were welcome to go to Pacifica with us and then he left.”
“Well . . .” Gabe cleared his throat.
A nearby bush shuddered as a small animal explored. An unseen car’s brakes squealed on a road in the distance. And all I could think about was how awkward this was and how even sitting with Gabe now felt like a betrayal of Asher.
I shook myself. Don’t go there, Remy. It’s not like you could ever feel anything like that for Gabe.
Gabe’s mouth compressed into a line. Then, he gave a small smile. “You and I both know your grandfather’s wrong.”
I nodded. “Right. It’s not like you would even be here if not for Asher.”
He looked up thoughtfully. “You know, we could use this.”
My mouth dropped open, and I recoiled from him. “Are you crazy? I’m not going to pretend we’re together. No way. Absolutely not.”
“Tell me how you really feel, why don’t you?”
I shoved his shoulder, realizing he was messing with me. He seemed to have recovered, and I rose. “Shut up, Gabe. Come on. I need to get back.”
We walked together in the direction of my grandfather’s.
“How long have you been feeling things, Gabe?” I asked, tossing a curious glance at him over my shoulder.
His smile looked sheepish. “Damn. I thought I’d snuck that one by you.”
“Uh-huh. You shrieking ‘that hurt, Remy’ totally fooled me.”
“I didn’t shriek. I yelled. Like a manly man,” he said.
That almost got a smile out of me. “Quit trying to avoid the question. How long?”
I thought he wouldn’t answer, but he finally spoke in a serious tone. “Always with the humming. More so since I helped you heal yourself.”
I frowned. “I’m sorry, Gabe.”
Initially, pain had been the only sensation Asher experienced around me. Gabe had never really made it clear what he thought about becoming mortal. He’d been excited that I might be a cure for the Blackwells, but then, he’d known that Asher longed to be human again. Lottie liked being an immortal and hated me for making her feel anything. Gabe . . . Well, he’d kept his thoughts to himself.
“For what?” he asked.
He sounded taken aback, and I added, “For hurting you. For using my ability against you. For making you feel again.”
He’d gone out of his way to help me, and I kept fighting him. Like Asher all over again, I thought, and the comparison hurt.
Gabe waved a hand. “Are you looking to win the Oscar for Best Drama Queen, Remington? Get over yourself. I’m not that hurt, and I’ve met five-year-olds that were stronger than you.”
I made a sound of derision, and we started arguing about who could beat the other to a pulp first. It didn’t escape my notice that Gabe had distracted me on purpose. To my surprise, I didn’t dislike Gabe as extremely as I’d thought. In fact, I would almost call Asher’s brother a friend if I didn’t have a small doubt that he would throw me under a bus in his quest for revenge.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Gabe settled in with the Healers faster than I had. He’d morphed into an affable guy who put everyone he met at ease. All arrogance had been suppressed. It was shocking how quickly they seemed to accept him coming around. It didn’t hurt that Gabe was hot, and the women happily glommed to him. I wanted to smack him more than once when I saw him using that fact to his advantage.
For his part, Gabe gave them no reason to be suspicious. He always had his walls up, unless we were alone. He never asked questions, and he stuck to my side unless my grandfather assigned him some chore around the house. In fact, he spent more time with me than at the Marina hostel he’d checked into. According to him, he was biding his time, waiting for the Healers to locate Xavier and Mark.
A month after I’d introduced Gabe to the group, my grandfather set him to patching a section of the roof that leaked when it rained. Erin, Delia, and I lounged in folding chairs in the backyard, sipping iced tea and enjoying the sun with the dull ring of a hammer in the background.
I’d been reading another book my grandfather had procured from his library. A library I’d yet to find, though I’d searched Delia’s, Erin’s and Franc’s houses. This particular tome went on and on about the Healers pr
e-War. The author, one Augustus Rue, practically worshiped Healers. After the third chapter extolling their near sainthood for seeing to the suffering so selflessly, my eyes had begun to close.
“Man, you are lucky, Remy,” Erin said.
I shielded my eyes from the sun to follow her gaze. Gabe stood on the roof with his shirt off and his chest glistening with sweat. Even I had to admit that he looked good, although I preferred Asher’s leaner body. Gabe noticed me watching and grinned. I flipped him a rude gesture without the others noticing. He just laughed and went back to work.
“What makes me so lucky?” I asked Erin.
“Duh. Gabe. The way he watches over you is so sweet.”
“Yes. Sickeningly so,” Delia added drily.
I decided to ignore that one. Every time someone made some teasing comment about Gabe, I thought of Asher and ached. To these people Asher had never existed. It killed me a little more each day to pretend I didn’t think of him all the time and wish that I had him back. If not for all the practice I’d had lying when I lived with my mother, I wasn’t sure I could have kept up the charade.
“Speaking of sick, where’s Alcais?” I asked. “I haven’t seen him around much lately.”
Come to think of it, I hadn’t seen him in over a week, and I’d been spending a lot of time with the Healers.
Franc had persuaded me to allow his people to test my skills, though I’d refused to let them draw blood. I didn’t offer a reason why, and to my surprise, Franc didn’t press me. I’d had visions of men in white coats conducting experiments on me, while they gleefully rubbed their hands at finding out what I could do.
In reality, Juliette and Micheline wore jeans and spent most of their time with me jotting notes onto clipboards that they were rarely without. Both Healers asked probing questions about how my powers worked. For the most part, I answered honestly. Some days, they would make tiny cuts on me or on one of them. Then, they’d observe what happened when I used my abilities. None of the tests really hurt all that much. The worst part was taking care that I didn’t lose control and take energy from them. Always, I had to beware of that monster.
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