Roots in Texas

by K. N. Casper

  “Say thank you,” his grandmother prompted him as she straightened his clothes and kissed him on the cheek.

  Norbert looked up at Ethan, a smile on his lips. “Fank ou.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “Can I bring him back?” the grandmother asked, clearly worried that the earlier episode may have discouraged Ethan.

  “You bet.” He looked down at the small child. “We’re going to have a good time riding together, aren’t we?”

  The boy nodded, grinning.

  “Thank you.” The woman’s eyes were moist.

  “One more to evaluate,” Ethan said to Kayla after the other two were gone.

  * * *

  KAYLA WAITED until after lunch Thursday, when the children were still in school, to drop by and see Leona Rayborn.

  “I heard you’ll be leaving, going to Chicago.”

  Leona had invited Kayla in, closing the door behind her. She held the infant, a dish towel on her shoulder to catch dribbles.

  “Randy’s got a job lined up with a shipping company up there,” she said quietly. “Not much work around here.”

  Leona cradled the baby’s head with her free hand. “We’re just scraping by on the allowance we get for the six kids I take care of here. Up there we can do better, maybe even with only four or five.”

  “Cost of living’s higher, though,” Kayla commented.

  “Yeah, and there’s a lot more to spend it on, but if Randy actually lands this job, we should do all right.”

  “What about the kids you have here?”

  Leona paced the shabby living room. “What about them?”

  “I mean, what will happen to them?”

  “Somebody else’ll take care of them. I hope they get good families. The stories you hear about what happens in some foster homes is enough to make your blood boil.” She looked sideways at Kayla. “You think I’m just in this for the money, don’t you?”

  Before Kayla could defend herself, the woman went on. “You’re partially right. If I didn’t make money at it, I probably wouldn’t do it. I don’t get real close to any of the kids, because I know they’re going to be leaving— maybe tomorrow, maybe a couple of years from now, but one way or another, they’ll be gone from my life.”

  She laid the now-sleeping child in a crib next to a mock fireplace. “But let me tell you something, I take good care of these kids. Do I love them?” She paused, the question clearly rhetorical, one she alone could answer. After a moment she said angrily, “I don’t dare or they’ll tear my heart out.” She took a breath. “But they don’t go wanting, either.”

  “I didn’t mean—”

  “Yes, you did.” Leona covered the sleeping tyke with a flannel blanket and removed a half-empty bottle of juice. “I don’t blame you.”

  She walked toward the kitchen, her demeanor less defiant, less defensive. “These kids deserve more, but the truth is I can’t give it. I wanted kids of my own when we got married, before I found out I couldn’t have any. So now I take care of other people’s throwaways. Wish I could love them, but it would just mean more heartache if I did. So I take care of them the best I can. A job, I guess you would call it, but it’s a twenty-four-hour-a-day job. This is what I do.”

  “I’m sorry,” Kayla said, suddenly aware that the other woman was close to tears.

  Leona waved the sympathy away. “You’re worried about Heather and Brad? I don’t blame you. They’re good kids, really.”

  “I tried to apply to be their foster mother—” Kayla started to explain.

  Leona snickered. “But you ran into the bureaucracy, right?”

  Kayla nodded. “One office won’t talk to me because they’re closing. The other won’t have anything to do with me because I’m outside their jurisdiction.”

  “Yeah, it’s known as falling through the cracks. About the only thing that’ll save those kids from being bounced from pillar to post is adoption. You married?”

  “Divorced.”

  “Cuts your chances, then. They want perfect two-parent families. Your ex still in the picture?”

  “No.”

  “That’s good. Less messy. Won’t have to worry about one kid going off to be with Daddy while the others stay home with you. Rough situation, that. You receiving child support?”

  She’d been granted child support in her divorce, but Daryl had rarely come through with it. She was even less likely to get payments now that he’d taken a job overseas and she’d moved to Texas—she hadn’t so far—but she could live with that. She wished Megan had a father in her life, but Kayla had seen what Daryl’s erratic visits did to her daughter’s health.

  “Nothing I can rely on,” Kayla said.

  “That’s not so good, unless you’re independently wealthy.”

  Kayla laughed. “Hardly.”

  “Work full-time, then?”

  “I’m starting a vineyard,” she said proudly. “Believe me, it’s a full-time job right now. I plan to get my teaching certificate this summer and substitute next year.”

  “That won’t help, and I wouldn’t go around bragging about it, either. Single woman, running her own business, working a second job? They’ll say you’re too busy to be anything but a part-time mom.”

  Kayla was aghast. “You mean they’d rather let those kids be bounced from foster home to foster home than have a single parent adopt them?”

  Leona shrugged. “I’m just saying it would be a lot easier if you were married and only one of you was working, or if you were just working part-time at home.”

  These weren’t the answers Kayla wanted to hear. “When do you move?”

  “About six weeks, but it may be sooner if Randy’s job comes through before then.”

  “Do the children know about this?”

  Leona shook her head. “It’ll be tough enough on them when it happens. No use upsetting them yet.”

  Kayla was sure Heather and Brad didn’t know, because they would have said something to her. “Will you call me when you find out?”

  The other woman nodded. “As soon as I know anything for sure.”

  * * *

  THE LAST CHILD Noah had on his list was Tabitha Sinclair, who had Down syndrome. The oldest of the group, Tabby was twelve, big and chubby for her age.

  When Ethan introduced her to Birdsong, her trepidation quickly vanished. She would have been content to continue petting the animal interminably if Ethan and Birdsong had let her.

  Getting her up on the horse took longer than it had with the other children. The girl was leery of the mounting block’s tall steps and frightened about reaching across the gap to the horn of the big Western saddle. Ethan got on the horse twice to show her how easy it was, and after much persuasion, with his hands supporting her waist, she practically leaped the narrow distance.

  Ethan walked her for about fifteen minutes, first in one direction, then in the other. But when he wanted to end the session, she objected vehemently. Yet the child was unused to this type of exercise and would undoubtedly be sore the following day. Her mother had also told him Tabitha would let the lesson go on forever, that getting her off later would be just as difficult. Discipline and structure were important in the girl’s life. Sending the wrong message on this first visit would be hard to overcome later. After repeated promises from both Ethan and her mother, the girl finally dismounted. They left with the understanding that she could return.

  As Ethan and Kayla were leading Birdsong to the stable for the night, he asked, “So what do you think of our lineup?”

  “The children obviously love it, and you do a terrific job with them.”

  “May I remind you,” he said with a thin smile, “we’re in this together. I took the job on the condition that you help.” He didn’t tell her he was willing to go on without her.

  “Working with these kids on a permanent basis will mean a commitment of time and energy,” he continued. “Between your vineyard and taking care of Megan, you already have a pretty heavy loa
d.”

  “It won’t take much more time than it is already,” she pointed out. “Or am I missing something?”

  He grinned at her and was still smiling when he asked, “Do you seriously think those six kids are the only ones with special needs in this community? Once we agree to work with the children in Noah’s congregation, we’ll be inundated with other requests.”

  “I hadn’t thought about that.”

  “That’s why I hesitated.”

  She considered him a minute. “You’ll do it regardless of what I say, won’t you?”

  He blinked. She’d caught him. “I don’t see how I can say no. Do you?”

  “I’m sorry, Ethan. I shouldn’t have gotten you roped into this. It was unfair of me, putting you in this spot.”

  “You didn’t see where it would lead. That’s nothing for you to blame yourself for.”

  Like giving candy to a kid sister. Didn’t he realize what he was saying? That there are times when we have to be judged on our intentions, not their results.

  “What do you want to do?” she asked.

  “Two things.” He’d obviously thought this through, making her even more aware of how shortsighted she’d been. “First, we need to look into formal training on dealing with kids with special needs. There’s an international organization that specializes in it.”

  She nodded. “PATH. But that’ll take time and money.”

  “That’s the second thing,” he said. “Since Noah instigated this, I think we should put him in charge of enrolling volunteers and raising whatever funds it’ll take to get people properly trained.”

  Clever. She grinned. “You’re absolutely right. If you like, I’ll talk to him about it when I see him on Sunday. Unless,” she added, “you want to come to church with us.”

  “Thanks, but I’ll pass. Maybe another time.”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  AT CHURCH ON SUNDAY THE parents of the special-needs children who’d been out to the Broken Spoke during the week thanked Kayla profusely for her help. The kids were still talking about their riding lessons.

  “What you and Ethan are doing is terrific,” Shawna Jones said, speaking for the others. “By the way, where is he?”

  Kayla was a bit thrown by the question. She wasn’t his keeper, but people were talking to her—about them—as if they were a pair. She’d have to disabuse them of that notion quickly, because sharing coffee at her kitchen table and working side by side in the riding arena didn’t make them a pair, a couple of kisses notwithstanding. He’d made that abundantly clear, and she hadn’t forgotten his Saturday night on the town.

  “I have no idea,” she said. “I only see him on riding days.” Or when someone poisons my vineyard and I need him to play confidant, advisor and available shoulder to cry on. “He’s pretty busy the rest of the time with his horses.”

  She received sage nods as people excused themselves and wandered to their vehicles to go home to Sunday dinners with their families.

  Noah finally broke away from the people he was talking to and came over to greet Kayla. He listened to her talk about the kids they’d evaluated at the Broken Spoke. Then she reported the conditions Ethan had levied on continuing the program.

  “I’ll gladly get volunteers to help you, and I’ll raise the necessary funds. That’s the least I can do.”

  He also agreed with Ethan’s assessment that there would probably be a few more families throughout Loveless County coming forward once word got out.

  “He’s absolutely wonderful with children,” Kayla commented. “Infinitely patient and caring.”

  Noah nodded thoughtfully. “You know his background...?”

  “About his sister? Yes, he’s told me all about the candy....”

  He seemed surprised. “The old-timers in town know what happened, but I don’t think he’s ever discussed it with anyone. I’m glad to hear you’re getting him to open up. Sounds like the two of you are good for each other.”

  Each other? What had he done for her, other than make her want things she no longer had a right to?

  Noah smiled, as if he were reading her mind. “He’s good for you, too, and for your daughter. I can see it in your eyes.”

  Kayla felt heat flood her cheeks. She looked away, embarrassed. Was she that transparent? Was everyone smiling behind her back, snickering?

  “I’ll get busy on this right away.” Noah was clearly trying to defuse the tension that had crept between them. “I have several people in mind who’ll be glad to help out and a few contacts I’m sure will want to contribute to the cause. Give me a few days to get back to you with names.”

  She smiled. “Thank you, Noah.”

  On her way home, Kayla’s mind fumbled with the ideas going through her head. Her determination began to falter. What she was about to propose was daring, outrageous and scary, but she didn’t see any other option. Ethan would probably reject the idea out of hand. He had every right to. He’d already made his position clear, but this was about the children, not about him or her.

  He was riding an unfamiliar mare in the big arena when she pulled up at the side of the barn. She’d stopped at home first to change into jeans. Leaning on the pipe fence next to the gate, she watched him put the horse through its paces, circles and diagonals at a walk, trot, lope. The mare responded superbly, at least to her untrained eye. Of course Kayla was more focused on the rider than the horse, so maybe she was missing something.

  He brought the horse to a leisurely walk and came over to where she was standing. “Where’s Megan?” he asked from the saddle.

  Kayla had to crane her neck to look up at him. The man was impressive from any angle, but from this vantage point she got a particularly fascinating glimpse of muscular legs, wide shoulders and broad chest.

  “Invited to a birthday party at a girlfriend’s house.”

  She paralleled him on her side of the fence as he walked the pewter-gray horse toward the gate, where he dismounted and removed the saddle. Draping it over the top rail, he replaced the tack and bit with a halter. Kayla followed as he led the bright-eyed mare to the pasture and set her free to join her sisters.

  “So how did it go with Noah?” he asked. They turned back toward the barn. He grabbed the heavy saddle on the way. She carried the bridle.

  She told him, leaving out Noah’s observation that they were good for each other. “He’ll call this week and let me know who’s available to help out. He also promised to start raising funds.”

  “Good.”

  She held her breath a minute, then steeled herself. “There’s something else I’d like to talk to you about.”

  He paused in lifting the silver-trimmed Western saddle onto its rack and glanced over his shoulder at her. “A problem?”

  She nodded. “The Rayborns are moving out of state.”

  He relieved her of the bridle, which he hung on its hook. “So the kids will have to go to another foster home. From what you’ve told me the Rayborns aren’t the most loving couple, anyway.” He shook his head. “Sure makes their lives unstable, though.” He pulled back and stared at her. “They won’t be split up, will they? Those two are like brother and sister.”

  “It gets worse,” Kayla said. “The local CPS office is closing in about six weeks. All the children under their jurisdiction will be transferred to the San Antonio district.”

  “Okay,” he said tentatively, obviously aware there was more to the story. Then it struck him. “You’re not telling me they’ll be relocated away from here?”

  She nodded.

  He muttered a word she hadn’t heard him use before. She completely agreed with his assessment.

  “Surely—”

  She told him about applying to be a foster parent and the runaround she’d received at the two offices. “It’s like trying to fight the wind.”

  He flexed his jaw, the muscle play downright distracting.

  “I had a long talk with Leona,” Kayla went on. “She probably knows the system as well a
s anybody, and she wasn’t very encouraging. She did hold out one hope, though.”

  He let out a breath and shifted his weight to his right hip. “What’s that?”

  “Adopt them.”

  He stared at her for what seemed an eternity. “You want to adopt Heather and Brad? That’s an awfully big step, Kayla. Two more children. They’re great kids, and I know you’d be an absolutely wonderful mother to them, but that’s an enormous responsibility. Are you sure you want to do that?”

  “Would you adopt them if you could?”

  He shook his head. “For me it’s not an option. The establishment would never allow a single man to adopt kids their ages. Not with all the scandals these past few years.”

  “But would you if you could?”

  He studied her, then waved his hand dismissively. “It’s a moot point, Kayla. I have three strikes against me. I’m a single male. I have no family to integrate them into, not to mention my remote location, and my past history with my sister doesn’t recommend me.”

  He was right on the first count, had a point on the second, but she wanted to argue the third. The expression on his face and the determination in his voice, however, told her it was a lost cause. He’d had years to exonerate himself of his sister’s fate, but he still hadn’t found absolution. Noah had mentioned that Ethan never talked about the tragedy of his sister’s illness and death. Had he ever received counseling of any kind? She doubted it. Given his father’s ultimate choice, she doubted Ritter men were the type who sought or accepted that kind of help.

  “You may be right.” She sounded discouraged. “I’d adopt them by myself, except it seems my chances aren’t much better than yours. I’m a divorced woman with a chronically ill daughter, receiving no child support and trying to establish a new business that’s just been destroyed by a vandal. Those are the strikes against me.”

  “I’d call that a slight exaggeration,” he said with what looked like a smile. “You’re a great mom with expert credentials in a growing industry, and you’re not letting a setback stop you from achieving your goal.”

  The sincerity in his eyes told her he believed every word. It brought warmth, not for the compliment as much as the realization that he respected, even admired her.