The Carmel Sheehan Story

by Jean Grainger

  ‘But all the staff here, we’d all testify…’

  He interrupted her. ‘And what would they say? Of course, the staff of the private clinic would back it up, they don’t want to be found to be professionally negligent either…no, Carmel, I don’t know what to do, but fighting him is probably not the answer. I mentioned him to David Harrison, you know the solicitor you’re dealing with as well, the last time he was shooting his mouth off? His advice at the time was to ship Mrs Johnson out. He said that, in his experience, it never ended well when someone was making claims against doctors. And fighting it in court can take years, is cripplingly expensive and ultimately fruitless because the reputational damage is already done.’

  ‘But you didn’t move her because you promised her you’d take care of her. Oh, Sharif…’ She went to hug him, and together they stood in the quiet office, clinging to each other.

  After several moments had passed, he broke the silence, ‘We’d better get back to the party.’

  ‘I suppose so,’ she sighed, ‘but it’s honestly the last thing on earth I feel like doing now. But you’re right, they’ve gone to so much trouble and we’ve all those people yet to speak to.’

  ‘Yes, I’m just going to check on Mrs Johnson, see what on earth is going on, and I’ll join you then. Can you just say I’ve been called to a patient?’

  ‘Of course, do you want me to come with you?’

  ‘No, better one of us is at the party at least. I’ll see her and talk to the night staff. He picked tonight on purpose because of all the agency staff. It’s not a coincidence. Everyone here watches out for him, hovers around when he’s in, but these people wouldn’t have known.’

  They smiled good night at the young man on reception and Sharif instructed him to beep him if there was anything unusual happening and they walked hand in hand down the corridor.

  ‘It’s going to be okay, Sharif, we can survive this. I don’t know how, but you can’t be punished for being kind, the universe doesn’t work that way.’

  He squeezed her hand, ‘I’d love to think you’re right, my love, but I’m not that confident. I’ve seen so many malpractice cases, especially in recent years. A college friend of mine was being sued for sexually harassing a patient’s wife when the truth was she had a crush on him. He rejected her and she took it very personally and the result was the loss of his practice, the near collapse of his marriage, and the alienation of his kids. She was very convincing. It was proved later to be totally fabricated, but, the damage was done. More often than not, doctors settle. Even if there’s no truth in it whatsoever, and I think that’s what Johnson is after, money.’

  ‘We’ll talk later.’ She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him once they reached Mrs Johnson’s room and he gave her a watery smile.

  Chapter 17

  ‘What a lovely party last night.’ Nadia was her usual effusive self as she arrived at the apartment for lunch the next day, giving Carmel and Sharif each a warm embrace. ‘I’ve made Carrot Halwa for dessert, Sharif, I know how much you love it!’

  Joe and the family had yet to arrive. Jennifer was bringing Damien and Ruari as well, so they’d have to squeeze up. Sharif had called maintenance for another table and more chairs and Nadia was busy decorating the long table beautifully with candles, flowers, and ornaments.

  Sharif had been up since the dawn; they’d talked long into the night once all the guests had gone and they decided they would have to address all the staff on Monday morning, explain what was happening, and ask them if they knew anything. Carmel was devastated for Sharif, his whole life’s work threatened by some horrible greedy man, but she was glad he could share his worries with her. The way he spoke, we will do this, we will say that, made her feel like an intrinsic part of Aashna House, and her desire to defend it and Sharif was intense. That man could not win. It was almost four in the morning when they eventually fell asleep.

  Sharif must not have slept at all because he had the entire meal ready when she woke.

  ‘I couldn’t sleep anyway, so I thought I might as well keep busy. I made Aloo Gosht with naan, I hope they’ll like it. It has potatoes in it.’ He smiled. It was a running joke of theirs that potatoes would have to be cooked every day, just as Bill demanded.

  ‘I’m sure they will; it’s not too spicy, is it?’ she looked a little worried. While she was getting used to the sensation, and quite enjoyed it now, she was nowhere near being able to eat what Sharif and Nadia could in terms of hot spicy food. She suspected Joe might be the same.

  ‘I don’t think so, I tried it and to me, it tastes bland, so it’s probably about right for the Irish palate. Here, try,’ he offered her a spoon from the pot.

  ‘The glistening sauce dripped from the piece of lamb he offered her. She tasted it and while it was certainly on the spicy side, she could eat it without feeling the need to run her head under a tap. She hoped Joe could handle it. She was less concerned about Luke, Jennifer, and Damien. Dublin had become so multicultural in the past decade, everyone was used to food from all around the world. The baby, Ruari was seven months, so Sharif had bought some little yoghurts and fruit purees in case Jennifer needed something to feed him.

  The shock from last night and her worry about Sharif had totally replaced her nerves at meeting the family properly. They seemed so nice last night, she was sure it was going to go well. She heard a cab pull up outside and went out to greet them. Joe was in the front and Luke, Damien, Jennifer, and the baby tumbled out of the back, complete with buggies and bags of all descriptions.

  ‘I’m sorry, Carmel, we look like we’re moving in, I know; I honestly don’t know how one small baby needs so much stuff, but he does.’ Jennifer laughed as she gave Carmel a one-armed hug, Ruari lodged on her other hip.

  Luke and Damien carried the rest of the things and Sharif directed them to the spare bedroom.

  The sudden cacophony of chat and laughter seemed to diffuse the sense of impending doom they were both feeling.

  ‘Now so, Ruari this is Carmel, Carmel, meet Ruari.’ Jennifer waved the baby’s fat little hand in her direction and his face cracked into a wide gummy grin. He was adorable and Carmel felt a pang, how lucky Jennifer was to have this little baby in her life.

  ‘Hello, Ruari, how lovely to meet you, and what a handsome little man you are, yes, you are. Oh, Jennifer, he’s just gorgeous.’

  ‘Ah, thanks, I have my moments.’ Damien piped up from behind Jennifer.

  Carmel instantly liked him.

  ‘I meant the baby,’ she chuckled. She stuck out her hand, ‘I’m Carmel, lovely to meet you, Damien, thanks for coming, oh, and thanks for doing the honours last night so Jennifer could come to the party.’

  He grinned and Carmel could see how his smile was reflected exactly in Ruari’s.

  ‘Not a bother, Jen says it’s not babysitting when it’s your own kid, parenting or something she calls it!’

  Jennifer gave him a good-natured thump on the arm. ‘Now that he’s off the boob there’ll be much more of that, I can tell you, so you better get used to it. He got away with murder the last few months. Do you know I overheard him telling his mam how Ruari never wakes at night? I couldn’t believe my ears! Because I can tell you, there’s only one person in our house that doesn’t wake at night, and it sure as hell isn’t Ruari.’

  Nadia was deep in chat with Joe, and Luke and Sharif were joking about football. Sharif was a Luton Town fan, despite their lowly status, and he’d been going to games since he was a child. Luke was a Liverpool supporter, so the inevitable joking around began. Carmel had no idea what they were on about, but she was happy to see Sharif relax and relieved that the McDaids blended seamlessly into the gathering.

  The food went down a treat, it turns out that Joe lived in England for a period during the sixties when there was no work at home and had developed quite a taste for Asian cuisine.

  ‘I used to share a flat with a lad from Bangalore; we were working together in a big abattoir out near Finsbury.
The flat was absolutely tiny, but we didn’t mind. I remember him telling me how tightly squeezed in they were back where he came from, and I explained to him about being one of six in a two-bed terraced house in Kilmainham, so we got on grand. He’d cook, at the start it used to blow the head off me, so it would, but after a while, I got into it. Cardamom and garam masala and all sorts, and then being in the abattoir, we had access to the end cuts if we wanted them. We lived like kings and never spent a shilling.’

  The table erupted in questions at the image of Joe and his Bangalore friend eating together every night in cramped quarters. Sharif was engaged with everything, though, undoubtedly, the situation with Derek Johnson couldn’t be too far from his mind.

  Carmel just sat back and observed everyone, chatting and joking with each other. Joe and Nadia were getting on famously, each telling stories of Dolly. Luke was playing on the floor with Ruari, and Sharif, Jennifer, and Damien were discussing the situation in the North of Ireland. It struck her that, even though these people were from very different cultures, they had so much in common. She’d never had more than a passing acquaintance with anyone other than native born Irish before coming to England and was still amazed that the worries, joys, and preoccupations of people she knew back in Ireland were replicated here, no matter what colour or religion people were.

  Ivanka was worried about her elderly parents back in Ukraine, her dad had Parkinson’s and, though she sent money back, she felt guilty about not being there. Zane was openly gay but his dad was a macho West Indian and couldn’t accept his son’s sexuality. Ivy’s daughter was in the middle of a bitter divorce and she was worried about her and her grandkids, and Nadia was dreading a visit from her very pernickety sister, who was insisting on coming from Karachi, to criticise, according to Nadia.

  These two families blended so effortlessly. Maybe that’s what having a family meant, that you weren’t a lone entity in the world, that there was strength in numbers, so you could explore the world and other people with a bit more confidence. Then something occurred to her, these people didn’t just belong to each other, they kind of belonged to her as well. In fact, she was the common denominator. She had never before had a family to call her own and yet, looking around at Nadia and Joe, Jennifer, Luke, Damien, and Ruari and, of course, her darling Sharif, she realized that for the first time ever, she was part of a family. Tears came unbidden and she decided to start clearing plates rather than make a total show of herself in front of everyone.

  Immediately, everyone tried to help, but Jennifer stopped them. ‘I’ll help Carmel, and you all sit here, ye’ll only be in the way if we all try to do it. Why don’t we clear up and then the men can take over coffee and desserts, right?’

  There was general agreement.

  ‘Well, I was slaving over a hot…’

  ‘Visa card.’ Jennifer finished for her brother. ‘Don’t try to make out you baked that, Luke.’ She nodded in the direction of the pie they’d brought, along with wine and chocolate and a lovely bunch of flowers. ‘Don’t you know the trick? If you want it to look homemade, you need to take it out of the box, pop it on a plate of your own, and bash the sides up a bit. Those perfect rounds are a dead giveaway.’

  ‘Ah, Jen, do tell me that lovely apple tart you feed me is made by your own fair hands?’ Joe’s mock anguish caused them all to chuckle.

  ‘Sorry, Dad, Tesco’s all the way!’ She smiled sweetly and kissed him on the cheek.

  ‘What a disappointment you’ve turned out to be. Carmel, how about you? You wouldn’t pawn off some mass produced auld muck on me, now would you? I bet if you made an apple tart, it would be better than Jennifer’s, from this day forward to be called Tesco’s.’

  Carmel smiled weakly and went to the kitchen. She stood at the sink, fingers gripping the cold stainless steel. She didn’t dare catch Jennifer’s eye. She must be devastated to hear her father suggest that Carmel could be a better daughter than her. She knew he was only joking but still, Jennifer had had her father’s undiluted adoration all her life. She was probably either hurt or mad that Joe would say such a thing.

  Jennifer landed a pile of dirty plates on the worktop and started scraping the scraps into the bin. Carmel couldn’t make eye contact. Perhaps she should say something, something to show Jennifer that she wasn’t trying to muscle in.

  ‘Your tableware is beautiful. Where did you get it? It reminds me of the stuff my granny had when I was small, so delicate.’ Nothing in her tone suggested the outrage she must be feeling. Carmel dared raise her eyes but she was greeted by Jennifer’s open, happy face.

  ‘Em…Nadia gave them to us; they were actually my mother’s, apparently, but she gave the set to Nadia when she was dying. She saved up to buy all the different pieces.’ Carmel gently placed each one into the dishwasher.

  ‘It must be so hard for you, to be here in the place where she was, and still to have missed seeing her by just a few months. My mam died but I have loads of memories, and even though I really miss her and some days it’s harder than others, I can picture her clearly, hear her voice, and I don’t know, it doesn’t feel so lonely I suppose.’

  The two women worked easily together, clearing the many plates and serving bowls. Carmel was glad of the distraction. Amazingly, Jennifer didn’t seem at all put out by the apple tart remark.

  ‘Well it is, but I never knew her, and to be honest, growing up, I tried not to think too much about who my mother was. I believed she had me, chose for whatever reason not to keep me, and that was all there was to it really. It wasn’t until I met Sharif that she became a real person to me, but yeah, hearing Nadia and Sharif talking about her, and now your Dad, it does make me wish I could have met her.’

  ‘He was so happy you turned up. When he came home from Brian’s funeral, he texted from the airport to say he needed to talk to us. We didn’t come over because Ruari was too small to fly with at that stage and Luke couldn’t go because he was on a case.’ She noted Carmel’s look of surprise. ‘Oh, he didn’t tell you? He’s a guard, well, more special branch, like a detective; don’t be fooled by the homeless hippie look, he’s a smart cookie, my brother. Not much gets past him.’

  ‘Anyway, Dad came back and one night he took me and Luke out to dinner and told us about you. Hearing him talk about your mam, we’d never seen him like that before. Like, he loved my mam, no doubt about it, but even she told me that she wasn’t his first love. Everyone round them knew how gutted he was when Dolly left. My mam told me that the night before their wedding, she went round to Dad’s house and asked him straight out if he was still in love with Dolly, and if he was, then he shouldn’t marry her. He told her the truth, that a bit of him would always love Dolly, but that he wanted to marry Mam and that he’d be faithful and loving towards her till the day one of them died, so she accepted that and they really did have a great marriage.’

  ‘I’m glad. He’s such a nice man, he deserves to be happy.’ Carmel didn’t really know what to say. Had Joe told her that he was Carmel’s father? Or had he told them about the ambiguity, and, if so, did they know the details? She wished she’d had a chance to speak to Joe on his own but it was too late for that now.

  ‘What are you thinking about the whole thing? It must be incredibly weird for you…suddenly finding a family you never knew you had?’

  ‘It is. Really strange, but in a nice way. I don’t know, I’m still just processing it all, I suppose.’

  ‘Are you going to have the test?’

  The tone was gentle but the question was definitely direct. Carmel had lived a life where nobody said anything of any consequence, or at least not to her, and so when people were forthright or inquisitive, she found herself at a bit of a loss.

  ‘Do you think I should?’ Carmel was surprised at herself for meeting such a blunt question with one of her own.

  Jennifer smiled and sighed. ‘I don’t know, honestly, I don’t. I’ve gone over this and over it. Dad wants you to be his daughter, and he believes you are.
I’m just thinking, are ye better off just assuming that you are, if it’s what you both want, rather than risk finding out that you’re not his biological child and ruining everything? Like, I think you are, I can see a resemblance even, not so much to Dad but to my aunties and cousins, but if your dad is just some random bloke Dolly was with some time, then won’t it hurt both of you?’

  So, Carmel was relieved to note, Joe hadn’t told them about the grandfather. He must just have said that maybe Dolly had a relationship or something with someone else. Though Carmel knew logically Dolly hadn’t done anything wrong, as Sharif was constantly pointing out, she was delighted that Jennifer and Luke didn’t know the truth.

  ‘And what about you? How would you feel about it?’ Carmel tried to keep her voice light but she was sure Jennifer could hear her heart thumping in her chest from across the small kitchen.

  ‘I’d love it.’ She shrugged, ‘I’ve always wanted a sister. I mean, I’m probably past the robbing your clothes and makeup phase, but it would be lovely just to have a sister, y’know? And for Ruari to have an auntie?’ Her voice cracked with emotion and Jennifer reddened, clearly embarrassed.

  Carmel crossed the kitchen and embraced her. ‘Do I know? Oh, yes, I know. I’d love a sister too.’

  Releasing her, Jennifer asked, ‘So where does that leave us? We want you in our family, we think you are our sister, and we can find out for sure or leave well enough alone, what do you think?’

  They were interrupted by Sharif arriving in the kitchen to make coffee. Nadia was busy unwrapping her Halwa to appreciative sounds and Luke was making a great show of battering the outsides of the chocolate cream pie he’d bought. Jennifer accepted the little yoghurts that Carmel had bought for Ruari, exclaiming that they were his favourite, and Sharif gave her a squeeze. Carmel wondered if she knew before this that it was possible to be this happy.