“Yeah, and I can’t think of anyone I’d rather spend it with than you.”
Lois grinned. Joe sounded sincere, and she was beginning to think he really did care for her.
He cleared his throat. “We’ll get back to my birthday plans in a minute, but I’ve been meaning to ask you something, Lois.”
“What’s that?”
“I was wondering why you hightailed it out of my clowning class two weeks ago.”
“I could see you were busy, and I didn’t want to cut in on your time with the people who stayed to ask questions.”
“I thought you might not have enjoyed the class,” he said. “I was planning to ask you to dinner, but when I realized you’d left I figured the worst.”
“The worst?”
“Yeah. I thought maybe you hated my class and didn’t have the heart to say so.”
Lois’s heartbeat quickened. Joe had wanted to ask her out, and he thought she didn’t like the class? She felt terrible about leaving him with the wrong impression. “I did enjoy your clowning presentation.”
“Is it about the money then?”
“What? What money?”
“The fact that most gospel clowns aren’t rich.”
“Money’s not an issue with me, Joe,” Lois said, smiling. “It used to be, but not anymore. I realized it wasn’t so important when I broke up with a man who had money but wasn’t a Christian.”
She heard Joe release his breath. “I’m glad we settled that.” He groaned softly then followed it with a chuckle. “I’ve had enough unpleasantness for one day.”
“What happened today that was unpleasant?”
“I had a phone call from my kid brother, Brian,” he replied. “It seems he’s left his job in Boise, Idaho, and lives in Seattle now.”
Lois held her breath. Was Joe finally going to open up and talk about his family?
“He called under the guise of wishing me a happy birthday, but I think he really wanted money,” Joe continued.
“Is Brian unemployed?”
“He said he’s driving a cab, but from past experience. . .” Joe’s voice trailed off, and he was silent for a moment. “Let’s not talk about my renegade brother—okay? I’d much rather discuss our dinner plans for next Friday.”
Lois smiled. “I’d love to help celebrate your birthday, Joe. How about letting me pick the place? I’ll even drive to Olympia to get you.”
“You’re going to be my chauffeur?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, boy! Does a white stretch limo come with the deal?”
She giggled. “I’m afraid you’ll have to settle for my little, green clunker.”
He moaned. “Well, if I must.”
“I’ll be by to pick you up at six o’clock sharp, so you’d better be ready and waiting.”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
Lois hung up the phone, feeling happier than she had all day. Joe wanted her to help celebrate his birthday, and now she could plan to do something special.
❧
On the drive to Portland Saturday morning, Lois was a ball of nerves. What if she took the second clowning class and still had no audience appeal? What if she lacked the courage to do a program in front of anyone besides her Sunday school kids? She knew she was probably expecting too much. After all, this would only be her second course in clowning, and Rome wasn’t built in a day. She didn’t have much time though. Joe’s birthday was a week away, and she was determined to give him a surprise he’d never forget.
When Lois pulled into the parking lot of First Christian Church, she was amazed at all the cars. “There must be a lot of people interested in clowning,” she murmured, turning off the engine.
Stepping inside the foyer of the large brick building, she realized why so many cars were parked outside. She saw that not only were classes in clowning being offered, but also ones in puppetry, ventriloquism, illusions, and chalk art. It reminded her of the story Tabby had told of her first encounter with ventriloquism and meeting Seth Beyers.
Lois stopped in front of the table marked “Clowning by Benny the Bubble Man” and registered for the class. A young woman dressed as a Raggedy Ann type of clown handed Lois a small notebook and a name tag.
A short time later, Lois was seated at the front of the class. Joe would sure be surprised if he knew I was taking another clowning class. I’m glad he’s not teaching at this seminar, or else he would have discovered my little secret by now.
She forced her thoughts off Joe and onto Benny the Bubble Man, who with the help of his assistant, Raggedy Ruth, was demonstrating the art of making bubbles in different sizes and shapes. The pair expertly used a variety of wands and even a straw.
Lois thought it looked pretty simple until everyone in the class was given a jar of soapy liquid and instructed to make a bubble chain. She’d always prided herself on being adept at blowing bubbles, but her childhood tricks had involved making only one, two, or maybe three effervescent balls at one time. Making a string of six to eight bubbles was difficult, if not impossible. Even with Raggedy Ruth’s help, Lois fumbled her way through the procedure. Something as tedious as this would take weeks, maybe months of practice, and she had only until next Friday.
“Maybe I should have taken one of the other clowning classes,” she muttered.
“You’re doing fine. Just keep practicing,” Ruth assured her.
Lois was the last student to leave the classroom; she was determined to learn at least one bubble maneuver that might impress Joe and show him she could act as goofy as he did. If she could learn to be a clown, maybe Joe would start to show his serious side. It seemed like a fair trade to Lois.
Eighteen
Lois leaned back in her office chair and yawned. How could she ever stay awake the rest of the day? For the last four nights she’d been up late, practicing her clown routine and blowing bubbles until her lips turned numb. She’d finally managed to make a chain of eight small bubbles and a bubble within a bubble, but she didn’t think either trick was too exciting. Neither was her hillbilly clown costume.
Maybe I should forget the whole idea and take Joe to dinner as he’s expecting. At least then I won’t be as likely to embarrass myself.
Lois grabbed the stack of bulletins in front of her and started folding them. On the front cover was a picture of a nurse taking a child’s temperature. Suddenly, an idea popped into her head. A new outfit—that’s what she needed. A costume and some props. A small shop on the other side of town sold tricks, costumes, and other clowning aids. She would go there as soon as she got off work.
❧
Joe stared out his living room window. It was raining, which was nothing unusual for fall weather in the Pacific Northwest. He wasn’t going to let it dampen his spirits, though. Today was his birthday, and he was going to dinner with Lois. Sure hope she drives carefully on the freeway. It’s bound to be slick with all this liquid sunshine. She should have let me drive to Tacoma and pick her up. He glanced at the clock on the wall. Five minutes to six. She should be here any minute.
Joe sat on the couch to wait and turned his thoughts in another direction. He’d been presenting a program at a nearby nursing home the previous week when the son of one of the patients offered him a job. The man owned a hotel and needed several full-time entertainers. The position paid well and had some fringe benefits, but it involved secular clowning and would leave little time to minister as a gospel clown. He pulled out the man’s business card and studied it for a minute. He’d told him he would think about it, but Joe knew he couldn’t accept the position no matter how well it paid. He always seemed to need money, but his primary goal as a clown was to see people’s lives changed through faith in Christ. If he spent most of his time entertaining, simply to amuse others, he’d lose precious opportunities to witness about God.
I’ll call him in the morning and let him know I’ve decided not to take the job.
The doorbell rang then. He grinned. It must be Lois.
❧
Lois smiled when Joe opened the door. He looked so nice, dressed in a tan shirt, dark brown blazer, and matching slacks. He’d worn a tie too—a silly cartoon character standing on its head. “Happy birthday, Joe. You ready to go?” she said, reaching up and kissing him on the cheek.
Joe nodded enthusiastically. “Yes! I’ve been waiting all day for this.” He drew her into his arms and kissed her upturned mouth.
“Are you having your dessert first?” she asked, tipping her head to one side.
He nodded and gave her a playful wink. “Absolutely! I may have more dessert after dinner, though.”
Lois felt her cheeks grow warm. She hoped the rest of the evening went as well as these first few minutes.
“Where are we off to?” Joe asked as he followed Lois to her car. “Are we finally going to Snoqualmie Falls for that picnic?”
“Not tonight.” Lois opened the door on the passenger’s side and motioned for Joe to get in. “Don’t ask me any more questions. My lips are sealed.”
“You’re going to chauffeur me, aren’t you?”
“Yes, and you’d better get in before the rain turns us into a couple of drowned rats.”
“It seems like ages since we last saw each other,” Joe said as they started for the freeway. “I’ve missed you, Lois.”
She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. “Ditto.”
“Anything new in your life since we last talked?”
“Nothing much. How’s your busy schedule? Anything exciting happening in the life of Slow-Joe the Clown?”
“I was offered a job last week,” he answered. “It pays really well, but I’m going to call the guy tomorrow and turn it down.”
“Why?”
“It’s a secular position that would take a lot of my time. I wouldn’t be able to do nearly as many gospel presentations.”
“I’m sure you’ve prayed about it,” Lois said.
“I have.” He reached for her hand. “Do you think I’m dumb for giving up the money?”
She shook her head. “Not at all.”
Joe squeezed her fingers. “I’m glad you feel that way.”
They drove in silence for awhile, listening to the Christian radio station Lois had turned on. When they left the freeway, Lois headed across town to the north end. Soon she pulled up in front of a quaint, three-story house with gray siding.
Joe gave her a strange look. “Where are we? This doesn’t look like a restaurant to me.”
She smiled and turned off the engine. “It’s not. This is where Tabby and Seth live.”
“He has his ventriloquist shop in the basement, right?”
Lois nodded. “Have you ever been here?”
“No, but Seth told me about it. He said the place used to belong to his grandparents.”
“Right again,” she said as she unbuckled her seat belt.
“So what are we doing here? Are Seth and Tabby joining us for dinner?”
“Yes, they are.” Lois turned in her seat to face Joe. “I hope you don’t mind.”
He shrugged and smiled. “Sure—whatever.”
“Let’s go inside and see if they’re ready.”
“Why don’t I wait here and you get them?”
Lois knew her surprise wouldn’t work if Joe didn’t go inside the house. “Their place is really neat. I’d like you to see it,” she insisted.
Joe was quiet.
“They have lots of antiques,” Lois added, “and Seth has an old ventriloquist dummy he’s dressed as a clown.”
Joe undid his seat belt and opened the car door. “Okay, you win. Let’s go inside.”
They walked up to the Beyers’ front porch, and Lois was about to turn the knob on the door. “Wait, Lois,” Joe said, reaching for her hand. “There aren’t any lights in the windows. Maybe they’re not home.”
“They’re probably at the back of the house.” Lois grasped the knob and opened the door. It was dark inside, and she grabbed Joe’s hand then led him along the hallway, feeling her way as she went.
“Are you sure they’re home?” Joe asked. “I don’t hear a sound.”
“Just hush and stay close to me.”
They stepped into the living room, and in the next moment the lights snapped on. “Surprise!” a chorus of voices shouted. “Happy birthday, Joe!”
❧
At once Joe painted on a happy face and backed away from the exuberant people who had greeted him. This was a surprise party, and it didn’t take a genius to realize Lois was behind the whole thing. Besides Seth and Tabby, he recognized several other people with whom he’d done gospel presentations. His biggest surprise was seeing his brother. Joe didn’t know how it was possible, since none of his friends knew Brian. Other than Lois, he’d never mentioned him to his associates.
Joe leaned close to Lois and whispered, “How did my brother get here?”
She opened her mouth to reply, but Brian cut her off. “I’m here because she called around until she located the cab company I work for. I guess she thought you’d be happy to see me.”
Joe swallowed hard and forced his smile to remain in place. “Of course I’m glad to see you. I’m just surprised.” He gave Brian a quick hug, then turned to face Lois. “I thought we were going out to dinner.”
Her face turned pink, and she squeezed his hand. “I wanted to do something different for your birthday.”
Seth stepped forward and grasped Joe’s shoulder. “You’re lucky to have someone as special as my wife’s sister looking out for you. Lois has worked hard planning this shindig in your honor.”
Joe felt like a heel. He should be grateful Lois cared so much about him. He couldn’t let her know how disappointed he was at not spending the evening alone with her. He reached over and hugged her. “Thanks for the surprise.”
“There’s more to come!” Lois said excitedly. “Besides the pizza, cake, and other goodies, I’ve planned a special program in your honor.”
Joe raised his eyebrows. “A program? Now that does sound interesting.”
❧
Lois breathed a sigh of relief when she realized Joe seemed okay with her change of plans. She hoped he would enjoy the festivities, especially since he always seemed to be the life of the party. She led him across the room and pointed to the recliner. “You sit here and visit with your friends while I go change into my party clothes.”
He wrinkled his forehead. “I think you look fine in what you’re wearing.”
Lois glanced down at her beige slacks and rose-colored knit top. “I won’t be long, and I hope you won’t be disappointed.” She leaned over and gave him a light kiss on the cheek then hurried out of the room. Tabby was behind her, and they both giggled as they started up the stairs leading to the bedrooms.
“I can’t believe you’re going through with this,” Tabby said as she pulled Lois into her room.
Lois nodded soberly. “I hope I’m not making a mistake.”
Tabby shook her head. “I don’t think so. In fact, it might be just the thing that will bring Joe Richey to his knees.”
“I don’t get it.”
“Knees. . .marriage. . .proposal. . . .”
Lois waved her hand. “Get real, Tabby. Joe and I have been dating only since August. We barely know each other.”
“But you’re a couple of lovesick puppies,” Tabby asserted. “I can see it all over your faces.”
Lois shrugged. “Let’s get my costume on and forget about love, shall we?”
A half hour later, the sisters emerged from the bedroom. Tabby went down the steps first, and Lois followed, wearing a nurse’s uniform and carrying a satchel full of props.
She stood in the hallway, while Tabby stepped into the living room. “Ladies and gentlemen, it’s my privilege to introduce our special guest tonight—the lovely nurse, Lois Johnson!”
Lois skipped into the room. “Is there a patient in the house? Somebody please provide me with a sick patient!”
On cue, Seth jumped
up from his seat and grabbed hold of Joe’s hand. “Here’s your patient, Nurse Lois, and he’s one sick fellow!”
Lois placed a chair in the middle of the room and asked Joe to sit down. Then she opened her satchel, drew out an oversized pair of fake glasses, and put them on. Next she removed a rubber chicken and threw it into the air. “Oops! No dead birds around here!” she exclaimed. “It’s my job to make people well.”
She pulled a can of peanuts out of the bag and grinned at Joe. “I hear you’ve been feeling under the weather lately.” Before he could respond, she tossed him the can. “Remove the lid, please.”
Joe lifted the top, and a paper snake sailed into the air, almost hitting him in the nose. He stared at Lois for a second then burst into gales of laughter.
Lois dipped her hand into the satchel again and retrieved an oversized toothbrush. “Open real wide,” she said, tipping Joe’s head back. He opened his mouth, and she pretended to brush his teeth while she blew on the end of the toothbrush. A stream of bubbles drifted toward the ceiling. Joe laughed so hard his face turned cherry red. He thought she was funny, and apparently so did everyone else, for they were all laughing, clapping, and shouting for more.
“Now, sick patient, I’d like you to lie on the floor,” Lois instructed. As Joe complied, she turned to face Tabby. “May I have the sheet, please?”
Tabby reached into a basket that was sitting on the floor and pulled out a white sheet. Lois threw the sheet over Joe, leaving only his head and feet exposed.
“I understand you’re having some trouble with your left arm these days,” Lois said, as she grabbed Joe’s arm and raised it a few inches off the floor. Suddenly Joe’s left leg came up, and everyone howled. She couldn’t believe it; Joe was playing along with her routine.
Lois pushed on his leg, and up came the right arm. She shoved that down, and Joe’s other arm shot up. They continued the game a few more minutes, until Lois announced, “I think this patient is well enough for some pizza. But before that I’d like to present him with a beautiful flower.”
Lois drew a fake flower from her bag. Joe sat up, and she handed it to him. “Take a whiff and tell me what you smell.”
Clowning Around Page 10