Unfortunately, his reaction hadn’t dulled her response to the brief kiss. Her body was humming and had come alive in a way it never had with anyone else. She definitely had to get herself under control and fast.
In no particular hurry to return to the house, Camille wandered aimlessly through the grass. Birds flew overhead, calling to each other, their song a part of nature’s music. She lifted her face to the sky and let the sun warm her skin, soaking up as many rays as she could.
The beauty of the ranch, the perfection of nature, managed to soothe her injured pride. Deciding she’d stalled long enough, she mounted Buttercup and led the mare back. When they got to the stables, she took her time brushing the horse before returning to the house.
Once there, she walked through the silent rooms, finding Jericho in the living room before the unlit fireplace. He glanced up and set a framed photo on the coffee table.
Camille looked at the picture of Jeanette in a white dress and holding a bouquet of white roses. It must have been taken on her wedding day. A twinge of guilt pierced Camille’s heart. She hadn’t attended the ceremony. Jeanette had been a wonderful person and a great friend. She hadn’t deserved that. Camille had no doubt Jeanette would have forgiven her had she asked.
It was too late for that, but she still had time to help Jericho to forgive himself. She needed to help him reach a place of joy. A place where his smiles were real and laughter came from honest emotion.
“Is there something you need?”
His polite voice nearly stopped her in her tracks, but she refused to let hurt feelings keep her from doing the right thing. Jericho had offered a place for her to hide out when she needed one. He was still providing a refuge for her. Now she was going to help him stop hiding.
“Yes. I need to talk to you.”
He dragged a hand down his face. Clearly he didn’t want to hear what she had to say. Was he worried that she would pounce on him again? Nope. Seeing him ride away as if his pants were on fire had cured her of that impulse. “I just wanted to clear the air. I don’t ordinarily go around kissing unsuspecting men. I was trying to comfort you, but instead I upset you. I apologize. I know what you had with Jeanette was special and can never be duplicated.”
“She was everything.”
“I know.”
He let out a harsh sound, somewhere between a laugh and a groan. “I can’t let myself forget. I lost everything when I lost her. I couldn’t survive another loss like that.”
“Then what’s your plan? Are you just going to live alone in this house for the rest of your life?” The idea was horrifying and infuriating.
“I can’t think of a way that my decision could possibly be any of your business.”
“Maybe it’s not.”
“Maybe?”
“It’s not. But I know Jeanette would hate it. She’d want you to mourn her death and the loss of your child. But she wouldn’t want you to wallow in self-pity.”
He shot to his feet, fury shooting from every pore. His eyes flashed. “You’ve got a lot of nerve, lady. For five years you didn’t speak one word to Jeanette. You changed your phone number. Returned her letters unopened. Blocked her emails. Don’t you dare try to speak for her now.”
Camille paused. When she spoke, her voice was quiet, in contrast to his. “You’re right. I did all those horrible things and I don’t deserve forgiveness. But I do know one thing. Jeanette loved you with her whole heart. She’d want you to be happy. Seeing you like this would break her heart.”
When Jericho didn’t reply, Camille left, closing the door on him and the impossible dream of building something together.
Chapter Thirteen
Camille looked out the window across the acres of grass. The sun was setting in a glorious burst of reds, oranges and purples. Even though she was unsettled, she did appreciate the beauty before her. Too bad it wasn’t enough to fill the hole in her soul.
Although she’d known better than to allow herself to fall for Jericho, he had wormed his way inside her heart. She wouldn’t have minded if she’d been able to do the same. But his heart was locked up tight. She didn’t blame him. He’d been crystal clear from the beginning that his heart belonged to Jeanette. While Camille understood that he would always love Jeanette, she didn’t know he’d actually meant he could only love Jeanette.
She had to get out of this house. There was no way she could spend another night alone with him, especially after their recent conversation. Dropping the curtain, she tapped her finger against her bottom lip. Should she take Joni up on her offer to get together? The other woman had seemed sincere when she invited her. What the heck? Camille believed she actually was safe in Sweet Briar. As Jericho pointed out, nobody would expect her to be out and about rather than cowering somewhere.
Deciding to give the other woman a call, Camille bounced down the stairs, faking a carefree attitude. Jericho was sitting in one of the rockers on the front porch, Shadow lying at his feet.
“Hey, Jericho, do you have Joni’s number? I’m thinking about taking her up on her offer to get together.”
“Now?”
“Sure. Why not?” It was only six thirty.
“No reason.” He looked like he wanted to say something else, but he didn’t. At least he wasn’t still angry.
“So can I have Joni’s number?” she prompted when he just sat there.
“Sure.” He scrolled through the contacts on his cell phone, then handed it to her. Sitting down in the other rocker, she dialed. Joni answered immediately, but to Camille’s disappointment, Joni had a date. After ending the call, Camille handed the phone back to Jericho and leaned back, setting the rocker into motion.
She blew out a long breath and closed her eyes. Now what? Could she stay in the house with Jericho, knowing what it felt like to kiss him but aware he hadn’t enjoyed the experience as much as she had? What choice did she have?
“So are you and Joni going to have a girls’ night out?”
She opened her eyes and glanced over at Jericho. He was looking at her with his intense dark eyes, and her heart skipped a beat. “No. She has a date.”
“I guess the quiet ranch life is getting to you.”
“I like the quiet.”
“Still, you’re probably used to New York’s nightlife. Being here must be cramping your style.”
“The fact that I want to go out doesn’t mean I don’t like the ranch.” She leaned forward. “You used to go to dinner and movies, didn’t you?”
He nodded slowly, thoughtfully.
“Did that mean the solitude of the ranch was getting to you?” she asked, determined to make her point. He called her a city girl and she was, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t see value in other places. “Or did it mean you enjoyed other experiences, too? It doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing thing, does it?”
He rubbed his chin as if the question required deep thought. “No.”
“So why can’t it be the same with me?”
“I suppose it can.”
She nodded, pleased that she had convinced him. “I guess I’ll see if there’s anything good on TV,” she said, although she didn’t hold out hope.
Jericho tapped the tips of his fingers together, then sighed. “You know, if you’re getting cabin fever, we can do something together.”
Go out with Jericho? The whole purpose was to put distance between them. “Thanks, but that’s not necessary.”
“Really? Aren’t you the same person who not an hour ago was criticizing me for holing up in this house?”
“Yes, but...”
“No buts. If you expect me to rejoin the world, you should accompany me.”
“That’s not exactly what I had in mind.”
“No? Then what?”
“I just thought you should do something fun with someone you like.”
> “I like you.”
Oh, her heart couldn’t take it. But he sounded like he meant it. Could she turn him down when he’d obviously been considering her words? Did she even want to? The idea was appealing.
“And before you ask, you’ll be perfectly safe.”
“I know. So where did you have in mind?”
Jericho stood and rubbed a hand over his jaw. His five o’clock shadow was making its appearance, giving him a sexy, dangerous air. “There’s a restaurant in Willow Creek that also has dancing. How does that sound?”
“Sounds great. What’s the dress code?”
“Nothing too fancy. A nice dress will do.”
Her heart sank as she mentally reviewed her nonexistent wardrobe. “I don’t have a dress. Maybe we can do something else,” she said, trying to mask her disappointment. Now that the seed of dancing had been planted, anything else would be a letdown.
“No. Dinner and dancing is just what you need.”
“I don’t have a dress,” she repeated, even though he already knew this. He was the one who had taken her shopping.
Instead of answering, he took her hand and led her into the house. Puzzled, she followed him up the stairs into his bedroom and to his closet. Now she was more than confused. She was intrigued.
“Close your eyes.”
“Why?”
“Really, Camille? Just do it.”
His exasperation was cute, but he was stubborn enough to not move until she followed his instructions. And he obviously wasn’t going to explain. Sighing, she closed her eyes.
“No peeking.”
“Of course I won’t peek. I have my honor.”
“Yes, I know.” He sounded so serious she would give anything to see his expression.
The old closet door creaked as Jericho opened it. That was quickly followed by a rustling sound. Her curiosity was growing, and only the fact that she’d given her word kept her from opening her eyes.
“Jericho,” she whined. “What are you doing?”
“One second... Okay. You can look now.”
Her eyes flew open. “That’s the dress from Hannah’s store.”
He smiled, clearly pleased with himself. “Now you have something to wear.”
She reached out to take the garment, then pulled her hand back. “I can’t accept this.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s too much.” The price of the dress was firmly etched in her mind. She wouldn’t have given it a second thought if it had been her money, but this was his money.
“It’s a gift. No strings attached.”
“But...”
“You know you want it, Camille.”
She did.
“You’ll hurt my feelings if you say no.”
She was about to make a flip reply when she realized he was being sincere. He would be hurt if she rejected his gift. Her heart skipped a beat. Jericho really did care about her. “Thank you.”
He smiled again. “You’re very welcome.”
* * *
Jericho wiped the steam off the mirror and leaned closer as if his reflection could explain why he’d asked Camille out. Did she think this was a date? Was it a date? There was a spark in his eyes that had been missing for too long. The misery that had been his constant companion had taken a hike, and the knot of pain in his chest was gone. He could breathe again. Lately there was joy inside him and he woke excited to face the new day. And it all had to do with Camille.
He closed his eyes, recalling the feel of her lips on his. The kiss had been brief, but it had been enough to send fire through his body. He was attracted to her. What man wouldn’t be? She was beautiful. Sexy. Desirable. And he did want to make love to her. But he wouldn’t.
Because attraction wasn’t love. The soft feeling growing inside him wasn’t love. He wouldn’t let it be. He didn’t deserve to love or be loved in return. Not after what he’d let happen to Jeanette.
He opened his eyes. Camille was right. Jeanette wouldn’t want him to be alone and miserable. She’d want him to be happy and open to the possibility of falling in love again. No. That would never satisfy her. She’d want him to search high and low for someone new to share his life.
But would she want that person to be Camille, who’d hurt her so deeply? The answer came to him in a heartbeat. Jeanette wouldn’t mind. Knowing her, she was in heaven cheering at the prospect of him and Camille becoming a couple. She’d always hoped her husband and her chosen family would make peace.
Deciding he’d engaged in enough introspection to last the rest of the year, he brushed his hair and got dressed. Twenty minutes later he was cooling his heels waiting for Camille to appear. It wasn’t long before he heard her coming down the stairs. He turned and his mouth fell open.
She looked gorgeous. The orange-and-red dress clung to her shapely form perfectly, emphasizing her tiny waist and stopping just above the knees, showcasing her world-class legs. Her skin had a healthy glow, and her eyes sparkled.
“I’m sorry if I kept you waiting.”
He waved away her apology. “You’re definitely worth waiting for.”
“Thanks.” She shifted her feet, and he noticed she’d cleaned the heels she’d been wearing when she arrived.
He reached out a hand, and she slid her softer hand into his. They walked side by side to his truck as if they’d been going out like this for years.
They chatted comfortably on the forty-five-minute drive and arrived at the restaurant in good spirits. Jericho handed his keys to the valet, then wrapped his arm around Camille’s waist and led her to the entrance. He didn’t seem to be able to stop touching her.
A gentle breeze blew, filling his senses with Camille’s tantalizing scent. Oh, to be able to pull her close and bury his nose in her neck and just breathe her in. But that was too much too soon. He wanted to be sure of his feelings. The last thing he wanted to do was send her mixed signals. That wouldn’t be fair, and she would be right to be angry with him. Hell, he was getting pissed about the mixed messages he was sending himself.
He stepped around a couple leaving the restaurant, then held the door for Camille, who smiled at him. His blood pulsed in his veins and his heartbeat went into overdrive. Who knew a simple smile could be so powerful?
“This looks like a nice place.”
He returned her smile and forced himself to push aside his suddenly erotic thoughts. “It is. The food is good and the house band is incredible. You’re really going to enjoy yourself.”
Her smile broadened, and she leaned her head against his shoulder. “I already am.”
A hostess led them to a table near a wall of windows overlooking a garden with trees draped with twinkling white lights. Camille peered through the window at the darkening night. “It looks magical out there. I wouldn’t be surprised if fairies were flitting about like in a children’s story.”
A week ago he would have assumed she was putting down the decorators and calling their work childish. Now he knew that a little girl who believed in fairy tales lived inside the Wall Street wizard. It was contradictory and confusing, yet he found it endearing. “Perhaps fairies are out there waiting to grant the wishes of good little girls.”
“Only girls? I would hope fairies were equal-opportunity helpers.”
“Nope. They can only grant wishes of those who believe in them, and boys don’t fit into that category.”
“Are you saying boys don’t believe in fairies?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
“How do you know?”
“I was one.”
“Exactly. You were one. Maybe other boys believed.”
“Nope. It goes against the code.”
“There’s a boy code?”
“Absolutely.”
“With rules?”
“Yep.”
She leaned in closer, and he found himself doing the same. “Like what?”
“No can do. The rules are secret. Sharing them violates the first rule.”
“I won’t tell a soul.” She drew a cross over her heart, pulling his attention to her perfectly formed breasts. Sweat beaded on his brow, and he sucked in a breath. Heaven help him if she really turned up the heat. He forced himself to shift his gaze to her face. Her eyes twinkled with mischief. She slid a finger across her full bottom lip. “Pretty please with sugar on top.”
He groaned. From the satisfied grin on her face, she knew he was a beaten man.
“If boys don’t believe in fairies, what do they believe in?”
“Well, since you’re trustworthy...monsters. Dragons. Things like that.”
“And a prince to vanquish them?”
“No. Princes strictly rescue girls. Boys don’t need the help. When they get into danger, they rescue themselves.”
“You know, I think I might want to join this club.”
“Sorry. It’s only for boys. Besides, there are no princes coming to the rescue and then marrying the damsel.”
“Princes haven’t been lining up to rescue and marry me either.”
* * *
Camille could have bitten her tongue off right then and there. Why did she say that? It was true, but that didn’t mean she had to tell Jericho. Now he was looking at her with something suspiciously like pity.
Darn. She didn’t want anyone, especially Jericho, to see her weakness. She wanted him to see the confident face she offered to the world. Too bad he wasn’t following the rules and instead was trying to get a glimpse of the real Camille. The Camille who felt things deeply and dreamed of being treasured.
Fortunately, their waitress arrived to take their orders. After a brief discussion, they both decided on steak, potatoes and steamed vegetables. When the young woman left, Camille took charge of the conversation, turning it away from her and to safer topics like politics and religion. Apart from raising an eyebrow, Jericho didn’t react to the abrupt change of subject.
The Rancher and the City Girl Page 13