After the waitress set their meals before them, Camille’s mouth watered as she inhaled the delicious aromas. She hadn’t taken a bite yet, but she knew she was going to enjoy her food immensely.
Jericho gestured toward her plate with his knife. “I had you pegged as a broiled-fish girl.”
“I like fish just fine, but if I’m going to dance, I need something filling.” She put a slice of the tender steak into her mouth and closed her eyes in bliss. A small moan slipped from between her lips, and her eyes flew open in embarrassment. She saw the amusement in Jericho’s eyes and knew he’d heard her. To her relief he didn’t comment on her faux pas, choosing instead to continue to make small talk.
They were finishing their dessert when the faint strains of music floated through the restaurant. Jericho explained that the dance floor was in the adjoining room. A few diners lingered at their tables, but most people rose and followed the sound.
Camille tapped her feet in time to the beat. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d danced, and her excitement was building. Jericho’s lips lifted in a smile, and he gestured for their waitress. After paying their bill and leaving a generous tip, he stood and held out his hand.
Remembering the electricity that shot through her whenever Jericho touched her, Camille tried to brace for the reaction. It didn’t work. Tingles raced through her, and her knees actually weakened. She wondered if she had the same effect on him, but after looking at his calm face decided she didn’t.
Playing it cool, Camille strolled beside him to the other room. There were several small table and chair groupings around the sizable dance floor and secluded high-backed booths lining the walls. The band was playing an up-tempo tune, and she snapped her fingers. She grinned at Jericho. “Please tell me you know how to dance.”
“There’s only one way to find out.” He pulled her onto the dance floor. Within seconds she knew he could hold his own. As one dance led to another, she grew more relaxed and carefree. For the time being, she forgot her worries and fears and allowed herself to live in the moment.
As the last song ended, the drummer beat out a thirty-second solo, which segued into a long note held by the tenor saxophone. The atmosphere shifted, becoming intimate, and the soft lights dimmed. The musicians began to play “When a Man Loves a Woman.” Jericho opened his arms to her, and the others in the room vanished. Jericho was all she could see. Camille sucked in a breath. Before she could exhale completely, she was in his arms, swaying to the music. His masculine scent swirled around her, tantalizing her. She closed her eyes, willing to stay wrapped in his arms for all eternity.
Camille realized the problem wasn’t what happened when a man loved a woman, but rather what happened when a woman loved a man who did not love her back.
Chapter Fourteen
Jericho tightened his arms as Camille began to move away. Although the last notes of the song had been played, he wasn’t ready to let her go. Holding her in his arms and moving to the music filled him with peace he hadn’t experienced in what seemed like forever. The band began playing another song, and he led her in another dance.
For the longest time he’d felt as if a piece of his soul had broken off and gone missing when he lost Jeanette. Now the pieces were coming together again. Maybe not in the same way. Never in the same way. Camille would never be Jeanette. But that was okay. His heart could love her just as much, but in a different way.
What? His mind reeled and he stumbled. Had he really just thought that he could love Camille? No way. She was not the woman for him. Not even close. They didn’t have anything in common. Not only that, she was selfish and self-centered, consumed with money and status.
He huffed out a breath. That wasn’t fair. Five years ago Camille might have fit that description, but that was no longer the case. She was warm and caring—look at how she’d taken to those kids, giving them love and attention like they were her own. She had a sense of humor that sparked at the oddest times. It bordered on gallows humor, but given that someone wanted to kill her, that was understandable. In fact, he admired the way she was handling her situation. Most people would break under that type of pressure. She hadn’t. She had guts.
He realized she was backing away and reached for her. “Wait. Please.”
There was enough light in the room to see the shadows in her eyes. He didn’t blame her for being leery of him. His behavior had been totally inconsistent. How could he explain when he didn’t understand himself? “One more dance?”
After a slight hesitation, Camille stepped into his open arms. Thank goodness. He wanted to feel her body pressed to his, and slow dancing seemed the least complicated way to accomplish that.
The band finished the song, then announced they would be taking a short break. A DJ took over the stage and began spinning up-tempo music. Jericho didn’t feel the need to continue dancing, so he led her to a vacant booth. As they sat down, she smothered a yawn.
“Sleepy?”
“No.” She yawned again.
He raised an eyebrow.
“Okay. Yes. I can’t believe I’m already sleepy. It’s barely eleven o’clock. Who falls asleep this early on a Saturday night?”
“Getting up at the crack of dawn is catching up with you.”
“Maybe, but it’s worth it. Seeing the sun rise over the horizon is... I don’t know.”
“Magical.”
Her sparkling eyes met his. “Yes. That’s it exactly. Something special happens in those quiet moments. It’s like confirmation that the day before is truly gone, taking with it all its troubles. The new day is a blank slate filled with promise and endless possibility. I love that feeling.”
“In that case, we should get going so we can get you into bed.”
Her mouth fell open in shock, and then she laughed.
He didn’t mean that the way it sounded, but he didn’t correct himself. No doubt he’d only dig the hole deeper.
“You’re right. We need to go.” She stood. He took her hand, leading her through the crowd to the exit. Halfway there, she stopped, turned slightly. “I can’t remember when I enjoyed myself this much. I know you would have preferred spending a quiet evening at home, so thanks.”
“I didn’t do it just for you. I had a great time, too.” He’d spent too much time feeling sorry for himself over what had been taken from him. Along the way he’d lost sight of what he still had. He had a lot to live for. He just needed to be open to the possibilities.
* * *
Camille and Jericho walked side by side into the house. They’d been quiet on the ride, listening to the music playing on the radio. A low level of sexual tension hummed between them, and with each step it increased. She was aware of each rapid beat of her heart and the blood pulsing through her veins. Her skin felt tight and tingly.
She’d felt so good as they danced. When he’d wrapped his strong, muscular arms around her, she’d felt safe and protected, as if no harm could come to her with him around. More than that, she’d felt as if she belonged in his arms. As if her place was with him. How insane was that? Her place was in New York, not on the Double J. Besides, he still loved Jeanette. Unfortunately, knowing that didn’t change the way her rebellious heart felt. Though that knowledge should have dampened her ardor like water tossed on a fire, it didn’t. She was still attracted to him.
“How about a nightcap?”
A wise woman would have said no without hesitation, but his boyish smile was so appealing and hopeful she couldn’t turn him down. Besides, the attraction was one-sided, so nothing could possibly happen. “Sure. I’d love one. What do you have?”
His grin turned sheepish, making him look younger and carefree. “Not much, I’m afraid. I don’t really drink alcohol.”
“I’ll settle for a glass of lemonade or iced tea. No, I think I’d really love a mug of hot chocolate.”
“At this time
of year?”
“Cocoa is not just for cold and snowy winter nights. Trust me, chocolate is always a good choice.”
“If you say so. I think I’ll stick with lemonade.”
After they’d gotten their beverages, they returned to the front porch. Camille sipped her whipped-cream-topped drink and leaned back, setting the rocking chair in motion. “It’s such a peaceful night.”
“That it is.” Holding his glass of lemonade on his thigh, with his legs stretched before him and one ankle crossed over the other, he was the picture of relaxation.
Suddenly Camille wanted to know everything about Jericho. He’d told her some things but not nearly enough to sate her curiosity. “What was it like growing up here?”
“The best.”
“What did you do for fun?”
“Lots of things. I had three good friends. We spent every free moment swimming, fishing and riding horses. My one friend Billy participated in rodeos, so we would travel around and watch him.” He stared into the night as if the past was flickering on a screen only he could see.
“Are they still around?”
He shook his head, and sadness seemed to envelop him. “Billy joined the army right after high school. He was killed in Iraq about six years ago. Tony went to UCLA and he lives in California. He used to come back a couple of times a year to visit his parents, but they moved to Hilton Head three years ago. He hasn’t been back since.”
“And the third friend?” Camille asked when Jericho lapsed into silence.
“No clue. One night Donovan drove into town to buy a six-pack. He never came back. No one ever heard from him again.”
“Wow. How long ago was this?”
Jericho rubbed his chin as if he was thinking. Camille wasn’t fooled. No doubt he knew how long his friend had been missing down to the minute.
“Eight years.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah.” He drained his glass, then set it beside his chair.
“Did anyone look for him?”
“Everyone. Anyone with a car drove the route he would have taken, stopping anywhere he might have. His parents put up fliers. Billy was home on leave and he, Tony and I drove from town to town every day. We couldn’t find anyone who had seen him. It’s as if he vanished from the face of the earth. The police were involved, but when there were no leads the investigation stalled. Since there were no signs of foul play, they decided he must have left voluntarily. Eventually they closed the case.
“After a while people got on with their lives. His parents still put up fliers every once in a while, but I wonder if they really believe he’ll come home after all this time.”
“Oh, God.” Camille’s heart plunged to her toes, and she buried her face in her hands.
“What’s wrong?”
“I did the same thing. Listening to you, it hit me what my family must be going through. How worried they must be. They don’t have a clue where I am. I went to work one day and just vanished. Just like your friend. How could I do that to them?”
Her chair jerked to a standstill. She raised her head. Jericho was kneeling in front of her, his expression serious. He gripped her hands. “You didn’t do this out of spite or indifference toward the ones you left behind. You’re doing what’s necessary to stay safe.”
“I know. But I’m worried. My parents might be a little cold, but they love me in their own way.”
“Of course they do. And they’d want you to stay safe even if it means worrying them.”
She inhaled and was surrounded by his scent, the remnants of his cologne. Gradually she calmed and her momentary panic subsided. “I know you’re right. I just needed to be reminded that I’m making the right choice.”
“You are. Now you just have to trust that things will work out. Worrying and beating yourself up won’t change anything. Your job is to stay safe.” He squeezed her hands gently. “And my job is to keep you safe.”
Camille warmed at his words, as if the chocolate she’d just enjoyed was now floating through her veins. Overwhelmed by emotion, she couldn’t speak over a whisper. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Then don’t say anything.”
He leaned closer, and their eyes met and held. His eyes appeared even darker, and the intensity burning there made her shudder. Moving slowly, he lowered his head and brushed his lips against hers. The contact was brief and tentative as if he was gauging her reaction. After a long, heated moment, he pressed his lips more firmly against hers. Her body ignited and she wrapped her arms around his neck and scooted closer to him. He angled his head, deepening the kiss and increasing her desire for him.
She became aware of him slowly ending the kiss and reluctantly opened her eyes. He leaned his forehead against hers. Their breathing was labored. “Wow.”
“Yeah,” he said. Standing, he wiped a shaky hand across his jaw. “We’re moving pretty fast here.”
She stood as well, then reached out and touched his face. Her fingertips tingled as they brushed against the short stubble on his cheek. “This is what I want. How about you?”
He was silent. She dropped her hand. Of course not. He still loved Jeanette. Camille was just a substitute, and judging from his reaction, a poor one. She turned to flee.
Jericho placed a hand on her arm, stopping her. “Wait. I want you, Camille. Never doubt that. You’re a beautiful and desirable woman. It’s just that...”
“Just what?” Any doubt that she was a glutton for punishment was washed away in that tense moment. She needed to hear him say the words rejecting her so she wouldn’t make this mistake again. Every ounce of hope needed to be smashed to prevent her from clinging to someone who didn’t want her.
“I haven’t been with a woman since Jeanette. I haven’t even considered it.”
Her stomach twisted in agony. Maybe she didn’t need to hear the words, after all. “I understand.”
“Do you? Because I’m not sure I do.” He heaved out a sigh and dropped his hand. “I don’t know what’s going on between us. To be honest I’m a little afraid of finding out.”
“Because your heart isn’t in it.”
He turned and looked at the darkness. Finally he spoke. “I would like nothing more than to carry you up the stairs and make love to you. But it wouldn’t be fair to you. Not now.”
Because his heart would always belong to Jeanette.
“Thanks for being honest.” She started for the door. This time he didn’t stop her.
Holding the shreds of her dignity together, she made it to her room without breaking down. She didn’t know why she was so upset. It wasn’t as if she was in love with him. Sure she liked and admired him. So what? There had to be plenty of men she could like just as much. She just hadn’t met the right one yet.
He lived on a ranch for goodness’ sake. Her life was in New York. Could she really be happy here in the middle of nowhere?
Yes.
She silenced the voice brutally, but it refused to remain quiet. Yes, she could be happy here. She didn’t need to make a ton of money in order to be of value. She just wasn’t of value to Jericho.
Chapter Fifteen
“I’m going to be gone most of the day. I need to check some fence on the far side of the ranch. Don’t worry if I’m not here in time for dinner. Okay?” Jericho spoke without looking at Camille. She’d been quiet all through breakfast, spending more time moving her food around on her plate than eating. If even one bite of egg or bacon had passed through her lips, he’d eat his boots.
She was hurt and confused. Whenever their eyes met he saw the pain she couldn’t quite mask. Shame tore through him. His rational mind understood that Jeanette was gone and that it was okay to move on. But the heart that had loved her so completely hadn’t said goodbye. It didn’t want to say goodbye.
And yet his head was filled with Camille. Her
smiles and laughter. Her fierceness. The way her body fit so perfectly with his last night. How her heady scent surrounded him, taunting him to draw her nearer. Man, he’d wanted to.
Which was why he needed to get his head and heart to reach agreement. He needed distance in order to do that.
The barn wasn’t far enough away to break the pull she had over him. He could resist for a few hours, but inevitably he’d give in to her siren song and seek her out, needing to bask in her presence. He would never be able to straighten out the mess inside as long as she was close enough to scramble his thoughts. Perhaps a day on the farthest reaches of his property would provide enough space.
“Sure.” Camille pushed back her chair and carried her dishes to the sink. “Have a good time.”
Jericho stared at her rigid back, aware that she was deliberately keeping him from seeing her face. No doubt the tears that had been glistening in her eyes had begun to fall and were running down her cheeks. He yearned to go to her, to promise that everything would work out fine, but he knew it would be a mistake. If he took her in his arms, they would end up in the same place. So although it shredded him to leave her like this, he grabbed the sandwiches and thermos of coffee he had prepared earlier and strode out the door.
The day was bright and warm and a gentle breeze blew, carrying the scent of sweetgrass and rustling the leaves in the trees. As Jericho drove the four-wheeler across the familiar acres, he allowed his mind to wander. Images of his happy past flashed through his mind. Unlike other times he’d thought of Jeanette and all the fun they’d had together, the love they’d shared, the memories didn’t hurt. They were surrounded in a warm glow that soothed him.
He finally reached his destination. Although he’d told himself he wanted to check the fences, a part of him had known he’d actually end up here. His heart pounded as he reached the small clearing Jeanette had loved. Of all the acres of green grass and sunlit valleys on the Double J, this had been her favorite. She’d called it her private heaven. And they had experienced heaven here many times during their marriage.
The Rancher and the City Girl Page 14